"I'm sorry, you want to what?" Blaine sighed at Santana's reaction. He pinched the bridge of his nose with frustration.
"I can't let this happen, Santana. I can't; I don't know why, so don't ask me to explain, but I have to," Blaine tried to reason with her. The Latina girl just raised an eyebrow at him, as if saying 'Of course you know why, dorph.' Blaine let out another sigh as he banged his head into his crossed arms. "Help me." He groaned, making Santana roll her eyes.
"So dramatic, sometimes, Gay-Thing 1," Santana patted his gelled hair once before cringing. She whipped her palm on her skirt before shrugging, "But I'll help you," Blaine's head shot up with shock. "As long as you can promise me one thing," She held her finger up; Blaine nodded frantically. He'd do anything if it meant Santana's sneaky, discrete help. "That you love Gay-Thing 2 and you're not doing this to hurt him,"
"Of course not," that's the last thing Blaine wants; if Kurt gets hurt by this, he doesn't know what he'll do. Then again, how could Blaine do this without hurting Kurt? "Just, please tell me what to do so this is over with and we can put it behind us."
"Alright," Santana leaned back in her seat. They were sitting in the Lima Bean, where Sebastian was supposed to meet Blaine in half an hour. Blaine probably should have asked Santana earlier, but he's desperate. "Describe to Sebastian Ross, but insult him with compliments," Blaine frowned with confusion at the name until he realized she meant Chandler; at least she knew it was one 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' name.
"You mean insult Chandler, not Sebastian?" Santana rolled her eyes at the question. "Okay, that was stupid," Blaine sighed. "I'm just not sure I can do this."
"Then don't," Santana said simply. "Don't do a single thing and have that hot piece of gay-pie get stolen away by some Brooklyn-wanna-be-freak," Santana crossed her arms over her chest. The sentence made Blaine groan; he can't let that happen. "Here, practice on me. I'll pretend I'm Sebastian, just more attractive and better at everything he tries to do…" Blaine rolled his eyes while Santana grinned, "…and you tell me about Carson."
"Chandler," Blaine sighed. Santana just raised her eyebrows, telling him to start. "Okay, fine. He as a bright personality."
"I'm sorry," Santana smirked and pressed a hand behind her ear, "I didn't hear any negativity."
"Well how would you say it?"
"Chandler's personality is so bright that Alaska has 12 long months of sunlight." Santana half joked, making Blaine sigh. "What? Blaine, I don't know this kid."
"I don't really either," Blaine bit into his lip. He was starting to freak out. Sebastian should be here in ten minutes and Blaine had nothing.
"Give me your phone," Santana sighed. Blaine didn't fight her and placed the iPhone in her hand. Santana started typing something while Blaine waited. A minute later, she grinned with success and handed the phone back, "There. I just asked Kurt, as you, for some of Chandler's best qualities. Now just twist whatever he says. Have you ever watched How I Met Your Mother?" Blaine nodded, "It's like that Bubble episode. You wouldn't notice people's annoying ass traits until someone points them out and POP!" Santana grinned. "Illusion destroyed and relationship terminated."
"Yeah?" Blaine wasn't sure if he could do this still. Santana reached across the table and grabbed his shoulders to pull him closer.
"You got this Blaine Warbler. Unleash your inner bitch!"
-
"A gerbil?" Sebastian cringed. "Chandler, reminds you of a gerbil?" Blaine nodded with a smile.
"Yeah. He has a lot of energy that could run around for hours," Blaine explained before sipping his coffee. He had just finished describing Chandler with Santana's pointers and for now it's going well. So far, Blaine's told Sebastian that Chandler is very outgoing, that he could outmatch Rachel Berry in a speaking contest, especially with his volume. How his smile is so big, he could probably swallow his whole fist. How you never have to worry about not finding him places because the second he sees you, he'll make his presences known. "Doesn't he sound great?"
"I-I don't know," Sebastian rubbed the back of his neck. "He doesn't really seem like my type." Blaine fake scuffed; it was completely true, but Blaine couldn't let Sebastian think that. At least, not yet.
"Please, he totally is." Blaine shrugged, "Besides, you don't have a type,"
"True," Sebastian chuckled. He crossed his arms and sat back, "And you're sure I should trust him with making the plans?" Blaine nodded.
"Totally. You guys are so alike, I wouldn't be surprised if you planned the same night," Blaine grinned at his friend, who didn't seem too convinced. "So Friday?"
Sebastian hesitated as he looked at his coffee cup, "A gerbil?" He questioned again with his eyebrows frowning. When he looked up, Blaine just beamed. This, this could work.
"I don't get it, Blaine," Kurt sighed as they walked down the street together. Kurt slipped his arm through Blaine's, who had his hands in his jacket pocket. All of a sudden, Blaine didn't want to be so showy with Kurt. He was never uncomfortable with public displays of affection, but when they were talking about Sebastian while they were at it, it didn't feel right. Blaine didn't push Kurt away though. He even took his hand out of his pocket and held onto Kurt's while they crossed the street. They were heading to Breadsticks, where they invited Chandler for a friendly dinner so he could learn more about Sebastian. "You got to tell Sebastian about Chandler, but I don't get to tell Chandler about Sebastian?"
"You don't know Sebastian as well as I do," Blaine explained, "Besides, you'd just bash on Sebastian and we wouldn't want Chandler backing out." Though that's really what Blaine wants to happen. So badly that he's going to give Chandler false information about his friend.
"True," Kurt smiled. "So what did you tell Sebastian about Chandler?" Blaine started to panic. He tried to smile as best as he could.
"What you told me to say; that Chandler is a very outgoing guy with a bright personality and positive perspective of life," Even if he did describe him as three things Sebastian despises: small creatures, too public people, and Rachel Berry. Kurt grinned and kissed Blaine's cheek.
"That's my baby."
"Chandler's here," Blaine nodded at the window. The boy with glasses was sitting in a booth all by himself, kicking his feet like a child while he drank a milkshake from a straw and looked at the menu. Blaine tried not to be too displeased by him. Once the couple was in the doorway, Chandler looked up.
"Kurt! Blaine!" Chandler shouted, though most of the other customers were quieter. Kurt smiled while Blaine fought off a cringe. Hopefully Chandler will be this loud on the date and scare Sebastian off. "So glad you made it! Can you believe this place has sea-food?"
"Oh, don't order that," Kurt advised as he slipped into the booth seat across from Chandler. "You'll be sick for weeks."
"But Sebastian loves sea-food," Blaine informed them; Kurt frowned while Chandler nodded with understanding.
"He does?" Kurt never heard of that.
"Yup," Blaine grinned over at Chandler, "Have you heard of The Oyster Shack? It's about ten minutes away from Westerville and is Sebastian's favorite restaurant."
"I can't stand sea-food," Sebastian crinkled his nose at the thought, making Blaine laugh. They were eating lunch at Dalton when Blaine came to visit for the afternoon. "Why would I want to eat something that had my name at one point?" Blaine laughed even more, making Sebastian smile.
"Good point."
"He loves crab the most," Blaine nodded at his one information.
"Crab? Yeah?" Chandler tilted his head to the side.
"Oh, yeah, he can eat buckets of the stuff. In fact, you should take him there and pre-order the Kings Fest. It has like ten crab legs and a stuffed shell. Sebastian gets it all the time," While Chandler took in this information; Blaine took a sip of his drink to stop himself from smiling. Kurt didn't notice a thing either.
"The poor thing," Sebastian frowned while thinking of the cartoon, "I swear, I'm traumatized by crabs now. I just keep thinking about that Evil chef chopping at their heads and stuffing them up…" Sebastian shivered.
"The cook prepares the food in front of you too. It's great," Blaine added, knowing if they ordered what he said, that the chef would pull apart the fish in front of the two of them and Sebastian wouldn't stand it.
"Well besides the food, what else does Sebastian like?" Chandler asked with wonder.
"I know people would just call me a dumb jock, but I actually really love Lacrosse. I take it seriously; people trash talking it just piss me off." Sebastian said once on the phone with Blaine.
"Hates all sports, especially Lacrosse," Blaine fake grimaced when Chandler's eyes widened. "Yeah, he gets all riled up whenever someone talks about it."
"But isn't Sebastian on the…" Kurt started to say but the waitress showed up with their food. Blaine thanked her for them and jumped back into the conversation before Kurt could ruin it.
"So I should avoid talking about sports? That should be easy," Chandler chuckled at himself.
"Oh, no, I'd talk about it. Tell him how much you hate it; I'll even text you some bad plays to root for if you want."
"Blaine, that would be great!" Chandler gushed. "Wow, you really know Sebastian, huh?" Blaine chuckled.
"Yup. That good."
"So tell me more," Chandler begged. Blaine started to say more and more, a smile never falling from his face. Kurt listened to the conversation in the corner, watching his boyfriend with a frown. He's never seen Blaine talk this much about Sebastian; he knows that's what they are here for, but Kurt never realized how much Blaine knew about Sebastian. And some of the things seemed farfetched; Kurt thought that Sebastian hated crab, especially when Kurt would call him one to piss him off. And Kurt could swear that Sebastian was Captian of the lacrosse team.
"You didn't get any of this from us, right?" Blaine asked Chandler at the end of the night.
"Those are just things that I love; I had no idea he enjoyed them too," Chandler played along with a grin. Blaine smiled brightly and wrapped a friendly arm around the older boy's shoulders.
"Excellent."
-
Two nights later, while Blaine was flipping through magazines in his room to pass the time—he was trying not to focus on the fact that Sebastian's date had started ten minutes ago—his phone rang. Blaine's eyes grew when he saw who was calling. "Hey, Seb, how's the blind date going?"
"Blaine Anderson Warbler!" Sebastian said in a low, whispered growl. Blaine shot up like a rocket with a grin. To make it convincing, he frowned while talking before having to clap his hand over his mouth.
"What's wrong?"
"He took me to the Oyster Shack! The Oyster Shack, Blaine!"
"Yikes," Blaine bit his lip, "You hate that place."
"I had no idea he was taking me here. We went through the back because Chandler said he had connections to the chef or something and that we were seated in the back booth by the lobster tank!" Blaine could hear Sebastian's voice squeak, making him smile. This was great. "They keep staring at me, Blaine! It's like they know I'm going to eat them."
"You don't have to eat sea-food, Seb. I'm sure they have like a chicken menu or salad or something."
"I can't! Chandler already ordered for us, so he told me not to worry about it. And you know what he orders….crab! A whole lot of them! And the damn chef fucking killed them right in front of us!"
"They're aloud to do that?" Blaine snickered to himself.
"Apparently! I felt like I was going to throw up, and Chandler just sat there beaming like a idiot."
"So you don't like him?" Blaine asked hopefully. He heard Sebastian sigh, and Blaine thought that was that. He got them separated.
"No." Damn it! "I mean, I can't judge him just on the fact that he doesn't like sea-food." 'Stupid Sebastian being so damn nice all of a sudden,' Blaine frowned to himself while he lied down on his bed. This was not going how he hoped. "I can put on a smile for one night; it can't hurt. And he was talking for a while about how much he hates lacrosse, but at least he knows it enough to judge it. Not a lot of people know a lot about Lacrosse; I was surprised."
'Why the hell did you help Chandler so much with that, Blaine? You were supposed to do the opposite!' Blaine scowled himself. "But you were right; he's really energetic. When we walked in, he shouted hello to the host and cheered when the food came."
"Good thing you're in the back though right?" Blaine tried, but failed.
"Actually, there's no one else here." Blaine sat up so fast that his neck popped. He ignored the pain while his eyes flew wide open.
"What?"
"Chandler got the restaurant all to ourselves. It's kind of nice. You know how much I don't like attention on me." Blaine fought a ground as he rubbed his forehead; he was getting a headache.
"Yup, I know that." 'Damn, damn, damn…' Blaine sighed.
"And okay, you were kind of right about the whole gerbil thing," at least Blaine did one thing right… "But it's actually kind of cute." …or maybe not. "I don't know, I think this is going pretty good."
"But you're at the Oyster Shack!" Blaine whined a little too much. Sebastian just chuckled.
"I actually don't mind it all that much…okay, I gotta go, Chandler's back from the bathroom."
"O-Okay," Blaine didn't want to hang up. He wanted to stay on the phone with Sebastian forever and never let him leave, especially for Chandler.
"And Blaine?" There was a smile in Sebastian's voice which made Blaine cringe; he only has that voice around him. "Thanks."
Blaine let out a nervous laugh, "Ha-ha-yup. No probably, buddy. Bye." Blaine hung up as fast as he could. He went still for a few seconds before chucking his phone at the nearest wall. He felt like he was about to cry. This was not good, not good at all.
Blaine crawled under his sheets and into a ball. He wanted to hide and never come out. But then he heard his phone go off, Katy Perry filling the room. Blaine sighed and got his phone off the ground before sliding back under the sheets as fast as he could. He curled up again, the blanket balled into his fist; he felt like a child and was this close to sucking his own thumb for comfort. "What?" He whimpered into the phone.
"Blaine!" Kurt's energetic voice has never seemed annoying to Blaine; it would always make him feel better. But now…Blaine wanted to just hang up. Which is a terrible thing for a boyfriend to feel but, damn it, he was upset! "Chandler just called me from the bathroom, which EWW, but he wasn't doing anything, right?" Blaine just sighed. "Anyways, he says it's going great and that Sebastian is even finer in person, which I found even more discussing than the public bathroom outback of the shack, but hey, if that's what Chandler likes then that's good right?"
"Uh huh, good," Blaine said tiredly, his eyes dropping closed.
"You know, I always thought that Sebastian hated sea-food. But apparently he eat most of it and Chandler said he seemed to enjoy it too," Kurt told him. "And the whole hating Lacrosse thing…I thought Sebastian loved it, but he didn't argue with Chandler when he said all the things you told him. I guess you really do know Sebastian after all."
"Yup," Blaine mumbled into the phone. "I sure know him alright."
"Oh! Chandler just texted me! They're leaving the restaurant…Sebastian asked him out again! Oh, Blaine this is fantastic! Isn't it?" Blaine bit into his lip so hard that he drew blood. It wasn't until he felt something wet roll off his phone and onto his fingers that he realized he was crying.
"Yeah. It's-it's great."
-
A/N: Poor Blaine…I hate making him cry.
Sorry if you guys wanted to see the actual date; I'm not good at writing such uncomfortable situations like that where One person secretly hates it while the other is secretly doing everything the other hates…no good. But you will actually see them talking and stuff later on, maybe in the next chapter.
Next: Blaine's in a sour mood after the date and gets mad when he sees Sebastian and Chandler together. Kurt gets suspicious about Blaine's behavior and a mutual friend of Blaine and Sebastian's accidently rats him out in front of both couples.
