I briefly changed my penname. To Kamekazi. But changed it back within a half-hour.

'Kay then.

Characters © Ohba & Obata

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Ow. Shit. Fuck. Ow. Fucking. Walking.

I. Hate. Walking. I hate it. Walking sucks. Walking is the worst method of transportation ever. It should be hit with a shovel and thrown into the sea.

"Ow. Ow. Ow, goddamn it!" My feet hurt more and more with each step I took. We walked along some abandoned train tracks that nobody even used any more. I know that because I saw a sign a mile or so back that looked like it was from the Mesozoic Era.

"Matt for the love of Jesus quit your bitching. My feet hurt too, y'know. You're not alone, dammit." I closed my eyes, and counted to ten, trying to ignore the goddamn pain in my feet.

"I really, really, really wished that my parents lived in Romania right now. That would just be splendid." He rolled his eyes, stopping for a quick moment to rub his feet.

"Fuckin' train tracks aren't making this any easier. Oh, dammit, finally. I think I see the end." And we did. We saw a sign, in Romanian. Or whatever the language is. 'Moldova 85 miles'. Fuck!

"Mello, we might have to steal a car."

"…You serious?"

"I'm not walking anymore. 'Sides, how many times have I done this?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Alright, but be careful."

-

"Shit, Mello! Get in the damn car! GET IN THE CAR!" We were both fifteen, but I had stolen a car before. Got in some real deep shit with Roger, though. Went to juvie for a week and had to stay in my quarters, only leaving for school and meals. I was such a badass. Still am.

"Matt, drive, dammit! DRIVE." I drove the retard-looking Romanian car. It was as if the creator had been drunk and started putting crap on it. Like how God made Rosie O' Donnell.

"Fuckin…we BETTER not get caught, dipshit. If we do, I will fucking kill you." Mello took a bite of his chocolate that he randomly spawned from his bottomless pocket from hell. I went as fast as I could possibly go, trying to see if the Romanian police were going to come after me. I checked. Apparently they were all incompetent assholes. But I'm not complaining.

"Dude, we're like the fucking Blues Brothers, minus the destroying the mall part." I eyed an upcoming mall.

"No."

"Alright, whatever. We'll be in Moldova in a few hours." I sighed, and let up on the pedal a bit.

"Matt, did it ever occur to you that Russia is fucking huge? I mean, Roger didn't tell you what city they live in, dipshit. How are we going to find it?"

…Oh.

…Shit. He's right.

"…Well, didn't exactly plan that out very well. But seriously. Jeevas is not a common last name, so…cross your fingers and pray they're famous?"

"I shall." Mello did exactly as he said, but his prayer was…not prayer-like.

"Oh lord, please let my dipshit of a best friend find his parents, who, although we don't know where in the hell they live, we will miraculously find." I glared at him briefly.

"Thanks for the encouragement, tool." I drove as fast as I could, seeing yet another sign in Romanian or whatever the hell the native language was. Moldova, 65 miles. At least we were getting closer. Sort of.

"This is so f'in annoying. Why in god's name did this 'adventure' have to happen to me?"

"Don't say adventure. We're not on the Goddamn Disney Channel."

"Whatever. I wish we could teleport. But no. It's un-Christian!"

"What in the hell do you mean?"

"I don't know. Look, just shut up, alright? I'm babbling so I can keep my mind off of the shit that's going on."

"Whatever…just don't get Abasiophilia." What?

"…I…I don't plan on it." I slowly turned my attention back to the road. Ugh. This would take a while.

-

Three…fucking…hours…I've been driving this uncomfortable car.

Mello was lucky and got to sleep. He laid his head against the window. He looked so…peaceful. Angry!Mello was disgruntling after a while.

I started to nod off, but forced myself to drive. I saw a sign that said 'Moldova, 35 miles' so we were get-.

…What was that sound?

Beep. Beep.

Oh. SHIT.

Gas. GAS. How could I forget about gas?! We were down pretty low. I blinked, and drove the car as fast as I possibly could. Fucking gas station. Must drive fast. Must not hit anything. Must not wake up Mello for the fear of loosing my colon. Hurry! Go faster, car!

Shit. SHIT. It's so f-ing close to the E now. Or whatever that it. I don't know. It's like…squiggles.

"Fuck. Fuck! No! Dammit!" I floored the living hell out of the pedal, and went so damn fast I was like motherfucking Michael J. Fox.

I pressed on, but had to brake suddenly because a fucking stoplight was on the highway. What the hell!?

"Aw, dammit! Matt, what the hell?!"

"Nearly out of gas, must hurry. Going as fast as I possibly can." I glanced at the gas-thing. So. Freaking. Close.

"Mello, do you see a sign?"

"Uh, yeah."

"What does it say?"

"Moldova, 25 miles." Fuck, I was hauling.

"Okay, only twenty-five more miles. On a near-empty tank of gas." Fuuuuuuuuck. Stupid Romanians don't make their cars fast enough!

"Matt, go! I'm not walking again!"

"Well frankly, I don't know if you have a choice, dammit!" I gritted my teeth and pressed harder. My god, now I sound like I'm in a porno.

"Go! Go faster, little car!" I pressed the damn pedal as hard as I could.

"Matt, go faster!"

"I'm going as fast as I possibly can!" I looked around and saw only a few cars around, honking their horns. Thank god there aren't any police around.

"Moldova, 18 miles! Matt, hurry!" I damn near broke the pedal. I looked at the speedometer. At least…I think it was the speedometer.

"Almost ninety miles an hour and we still aren't getting their fast enough! Go!" I yelled at the car. I pressed as hard as I could and then…

And then the car stopped.

Right in the middle of the highway. Stopped.

"…Fuck."

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Contrary to last chapter, I like the ending and the chapter.

I don't know how long this story will be. Honestly.

R&R betches.