An Education In Romantic Pursuits
Summary: Benjamin teaches Nellie how to read, and an unlikely friendships springs up between them, but can Nellie teach her heart to let her apprentice barber go?
A/N: Okay, this is technically more Nellie/Benjamin than Nellie/Sweeney (and we all know the difference) BUT I'm thinking of doing one or two other oneshots based on this, so I figured if this wasn't put up then they wouldn't make as much sense.
Nellie hummed quietly to herself as she sat outside her house, rubbing polish into her father's shoes. The sharp smell had been unpleasant at first, but she had quickly grown used to it, and now rather liked the strange aroma. Suddenly, the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, and Nellie just knew someone was watching her, Slowly raising her eyes from her work, she caught sight of a boy her own age sat across the road, hunched over a sketchbook, his dark brown hair falling messily – and yet attractively – over his face. A light blush formed on his skin when he realised he'd been caught staring.
"Hello…" Nellie called nervously. The boy smiled weakly.
"Sorry." He replied. "I was just sketching you. If you mind, I can stop…?"
"Why d'you want to sketch me?" The words tumbled out of Nellie's mouth before she could stop them. She was genuinely surprised. Nellie knew she was no great beauty, and she had to be dirty from the day's chores. Why on earth would this boy want to draw her? Peering, Nellie deduced he wasn't from this part of London – his clothes were too clean, too neat, and his face didn't have the gaunt look of those who regularly didn't get enough to eat.
"Well…" The boy's blush deepened a little. "You're pretty."
Nellie laughed.
"Alright, you've 'ad your joke." She smiled good-naturedly. "Now what's the real reason?"
"I said." The boy glanced around, stood, and walked over to the other side of the road, sitting again a couple of feet from Nellie, seemingly not noticing that his clothes were quickly becoming dirty from sitting on the ground. "You're pretty."
"No I'm not." Nellie felt her own cheeks warm. She noticed distractedly that the boy's brown eyes were rather beautiful. Self-consciously, she raised a hand to pat her wild curls into place.
"Don't!" A hand reached out to stop her arm's advance, and the boy blushed even deeper, quickly releasing her wrist when Nellie gave him a puzzled glance. "Er… sorry. Only, I haven't finished your hair yet."
"Oh." Nellie thought for a moment. "Can I see the picture?"
"When it's finished."
"Y'know, you're 'ere drawin' me, an' I don't even know your name." Nellie commented. "I'm Eleanor Andrews, but most folks call me Nellie."
"Benjamin Barker." He replied, holding out a hand. Nellie took it and they shook hands, smiling.
"Pleased to meet'cha, I'm sure." She said. Benjamin nodded, but he was already going back to his sketch. Nellie just managed to hold back a giggle as his tongue just poked out of the corner of his mouth with concentration.
After a couple of minutes had passed in silence – but not a bad kind, simply a contended silence between two people that were happy to be in each other's presence – Nellie judged that Benjamin was no longer taking note of her actions beyond observations necessary for his sketch. The teen girl moved slightly, and tried to peer at the drawing. Benjamin held the sketchbook flat against his chest, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
"It's not finished yet." He reminded her. Nellie put on her best innocent face.
"Wasn't lookin'." She sniffed.
"Of course not." Benjamin rolled his eyes expressively.
"I wasn't!"
Benjamin simply rolled his eyes and went back to his sketch.
Finally, Benjamin heaved a sigh of relief and sat back from his sketchbook with a satisfied smile.
"It's done." He announced, carefully tearing the page out and handing it to Nellie. She couldn't find any words to voice her feelings. Benjamin looked putout when she didn't say anything after almost a minute.
"Is it that bad?"
"No…" Nellie breathed. "Oh, Benjamin, it's wonderful! But I think you need glasses. I…" She shook her head. The sketch showed a beautiful teen girl, with curls framing her face attractively, and a few smudges of dirt on her face that, rather that detract from her image of happiness, only seemed to add to it. Her eyes seemed to sparkle with some hidden secret.
"Can I keep it?" Nellie asked, tracing a finger over the lines of the sketch.
"O-Of course." Benjamin smiled nervously. "If you don't like it, don't take it to be kind."
"What makes you think I don't like it?" Nellie demanded. "I'll keep it jus' to 'alf-convince meself I look like that."
Benjamin gave her an odd look, as if he was confused by her logic, but shrugged casually, glancing away from her, and at his watch, whereupon his face paled considerably.
"What's wrong?" Nellie felt worry begin to bubble inside her. Benjamin shook his head.
"I should have been home half an hour ago. As far as my family are concerned, I'm in Hyde Park." He replied with a wry smile. "Ah, how fickle a thing time is when we are doing things we enjoy."
"You enjoy your sketchin' that much?"
"That… and talking with a pretty girl." Benjamin held up a hand to stop any protests. "I read once, Nellie, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
The young man stood, his sketchbook under his arm. Nellie stood too, more awkwardly, and ran her tongue over her lips nervously.
"Er… Might I see you again?"
"I should think so." Benjamin impatiently swept away a lock of his beautiful brown hair, which caught the sunlight just so. "For now, though, farewell Nellie."
"G'dbye." Nellie replied, feeling foolish next to this handsome, educated, talented boy.
Still, she consoled herself. 'E can't have found me that boring. 'E's comin' back after all, right?
Sighing, Nellie settled herself back on the doorstep after Benjamin had disappeared from sight, returning to her original task of polishing her father's shoes. Her mind was not on her task, however, but instead on the beautiful Benjamin Barker.
After that first meeting, Nellie and Benjamin saw each other with a somewhat erratic series of meetings, which consisted of at least one of them sneaking away to see the other. But even though she was often berated by her parents for skipping chores, Nellie had never felt more alive, more free and happy. She felt she could say anything that popped into her head while she was around Benjamin and he wouldn't judge her by it, or think her silly. She grew to recognise his moods, how a certain way he held himself betrayed how he was feeling. She knew of his virtues – naivety, generosity, open-mindedness, patience… She could go on.
But it was on one particular afternoon, when both of them had snuck away to Hyde Park, that Nellie learnt just how patient and generous Benjamin really was.
They were sat in the shade of a tree, exchanging few words, simply enjoying the sunny day. Nellie was happy to sit and watch the world go by, and Benjamin was reading a book. The title was illegible to Nellie, the same as every word on every page, or near enough. The redhead leaned forwards a little, trying to glimpse her friend's expression, so as to get a clue as to what the book was about. Benjamin caught her looking out of the corner of his eye and she blushed.
"Nellie?"
"Er… Jus' wonderin' what book you were readin'." She answered, half-truthfully.
"Oh." Benjamin held the cover up to show her. Nellie made out a countryside scene, and letters, but they made no sense to her. "Looks interestin'." She commented lamely. Benjamin raised an eyebrow questioningly, and then something seemed to click. He gave a soft 'oh' of understanding.
"Can you read, Nellie?"
The redhead girl shook her head, hiding her blushing face behind her auburn curls. Benjamin placed a hand on her shoulder comfortingly, and a shiver of pleasure ran through her, which she guiltily beat down.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of." Benjamin went on, and then hesitated. "I could teach you… if you like?"
Nellie shook her head again, meeting her friend's eyes determinedly.
"I can't be takin' up your time with that." She admonished. "What with you jus' startin' your barberin' 'prenticeship an' all. You won't 'ave the time."
"Of course I have the time. I could teach you a little every time we meet up like this." The brunette retorted with a triumphant smile.
"But…" Nellie floundered, not exactly sure herself why she didn't want to learn how to read, other than because she didn't want to put Benjamin out. "I've managed for thirteen years, 'aven't I? Why start now?"
"It can only help, my dear." Benjamin admonished with a smile and a spark to his eyes that Nellie recognised as utter determination to get his own way. She also was torn between happiness at the pet name and annoyance. There were probably no more than eighteen months between the two of them in age, and yet sometimes Benjamin seemed to treat her a little younger. Not, seemingly, through malicious intent, but because he apparently thought of her as a little sister or someone of similar stature. Nellie felt herself beginning to waver, and Benjamin, seemingly noting this, gave her his best appealing look, effectively reducing Nellie to a small pile of girl-in-love with no willpower of her own.
"All right." She gave in, and pointed to the title of the book. "What does that say?"
Benjamin began to point out the shapes of the letters, what they meant, and Nellie rested her head on his shoulder, that same guilty feeling of happiness floating through her. She couldn't deny it – she'd stopped trying weeks ago. She loved Benjamin Barker, heart and soul.
For five years, all was well.
And then she came.
Nellie knew something was wrong as soon as she saw Benjamin approaching across the square. They were meeting in the marketplace, seeing as nobody took particular notice to who was with whom here. Nobody would look twice at a higher-class teen and a slum girl being together.
But today, Benjamin was not alone. Walking with him was an achingly beautiful girl. For a moment, Nellie even thought that her dear Benjamin was accompanied by an angel sent straight from heaven. But no, it was a girl their age. With golden curls tumbling around slim shoulders and a pale face, in which was set a pair of large, sky-blue eyes framed by perfect, long golden lashes. A cream lace and silk dress floated around her, enhancing her ethereal appearance. Benjamin seemed entranced, speaking excitably to her; his eyes alight with something Nellie was sure she'd only glimpsed when he was talking to her. Nellie raised an arm and waved, hoping to catch his attention. Thankfully the movement caught his eye and she was to left looking foolish. Benjamin indicated Nellie to the girl and they walked over.
"Hello, Nellie." He greeted the redhead in his usual friendly manner, but there was a note of excitement in his voice. "This is Lucy. Lucy Saunders."
"Hello." Nellie replied with a small forced smile, simmering inside that Benjamin had brought this girl along to their special meeting. "I'm Eleanor Andrews." She didn't add her nickname, but nobody seemed to notice. Nellie had taken an instant… not exactly dislike to Lucy, but the girl made her wary. And with good reason. Benjamin may well have said at their first meeting that beauty was in the eye of the beholder, but no beholder could reason that Nellie compared to Lucy at all. It was like choosing between silk sheets and rough, homespun cotton ones. The difference between finest steak and stale meat pies.
And Lucy's last name rang a bell. Nellie thought hard, and suddenly she had it.
"Saunders?" She echoed, turning to Benjamin. "Ain't that the name o' the man who's trainin' you?"
"Yes, he's my father." Lucy answered. "Ben and I have been good friends for quite a while now, haven't we?"
Nellie blinked, confused. Benjamin had never mentioned the girl to her before – and also… Ben? He'd told Nellie once that he hated his own name being shortened, and so Nellie never did it unless on some extremely rare occasion she was annoyed at him for some reason, and even then she always felt guilty about it. Benjamin didn't even look uncomfortable at Lucy's use of the abbreviation though.
"Yes, we have. Though Nellie and I have known each other even longer."
Ah, so maybe he had detected Nellie's uneasiness. But the hint was apparently too subtle for Lucy. Looking back at a later date, Nellie supposed the girl hadn't meant any harm, nor had had any malicious intent. She simply didn't have as broad a mind as Benjamin.
"Oh, this is the girl you were talking about!" Lucy smiled patronizingly at Nellie. "The slum girl you taught to read and write. That was very charitable, love. I did wonder why you were always going off East-ending."
Nellie saw red. Who did this Lucy think she was, bewitching her Benjamin, keeping his eyes on her and her alone? What right did she have to be an angel that Nellie could never compete with? Without so much as a word, Nellie turned and stormed away, knowing that it was either that or she ended up slapping Lucy's angelic face. And no matter how much the girl infuriated Nellie, she was Benjamin's friend, and he might hate her if she did that. There was a call from behind her, and a hand on Nellie's shoulder. She shrugged it off and began to run, ignoring Benjamin calling her name behind her.
Nellie took little to no notice of her surroundings, just knowing she had to put as much distance as she could between herself and Lucy – and preferably find somewhere she could cry alone. So when she finally stopped for breath, and glanced around, it was with mixed feelings Nellie discovered she was at the docks. Sighing, she plopped herself down on a nearby crate, slouched with her face in her hands. Tears of self-pity, anger and pain of the fact she felt betrayed mingled with ach other as they ran down her ghostly pale face. How foolish she'd been, to think that one day she and Benjamin might marry! Of course he was bound to find a pretty girl such as Lucy. He was lucky like that. He deserved a wife as beautiful as that. Not just someone average like herself.
Even if she did love him with all her heart and soul.
There was the sound of someone sitting beside Nellie and an arm was thrown around her shoulder. She looked up quickly, ready to give whoever it was a hard slap, but relaxed when she saw it was only Michael, her oldest brother.
"What's got you down in the dumps, Nellie?" He asked, voice cheerful. Michael worked in the docks, mostly loading and unloading boats, helping with minor repairs, and any other odd jobs going. Nellie muttered something she hoped was unintelligible.
"Barker?" Michael echoed, his brow furrowing. "What's 'e done? If 'e's 'urt you, I'll knock 'is teeth out!"
"NO!" Nellie screeched, and then blushed as nearby men turned to stare at them, quickly looking at something else when Michael sent around a communal glare.
"Then why…?"
And the story came pouring out. Nellie had always felt she could talk best with Michael and Coral – her oldest sister. She told her brother how Lucy had arrived with Benjamin, how she'd referred to his friendship with Nellie as charity. When she had finished Michael stood up, a determined look on his face.
"Right." He said, cracking his knuckles. "Where is 'e?"
"Didn't you listen to a word I jus' said?" Nellie said exasperatedly. "'E ain't to blame, it's that angel I tell you."
"Oh." Michael sank back down onto the crate, scratching his head thoughtfully. "That don't feel as vengeful."
Nellie chuckled, and looked out onto the river.
"I'd best be getting' back to the house." She commented to nobody in particular. "Mother'll wonder where I got to."
When she got back home – some time later, having taken a meandering route – Nellie sagged with disbelief. No. Just… no. She couldn't possibly be cursed this badly, could she? To have Lucy standing a small ways from her home, peering around the streets was just too much. And yet, when Lucy turned and saw the redhead girl approaching, something extremely unexpected happened. Lucy rushed over, and embraced Nellie anxiously, babbling apologies.
"Oh, Eleanor, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't realise how awful that sounded until I'd said it. We were so worried. Ben went and looked around Hyde Park, and I walked around the market but we couldn't find you anywhere. I was so afraid that you'd ended up hurt, just because I'd made you go off like that. So I had Ben tell me the street you lived on so I could watch for you coming home."
"Lucy." Nellie began gently, trying to prise the girl off her. The blonde released Nellie immediately and stepped backwards, embarrassed by her forwardness. Nellie took a good long look at her and realised with a sinking heart that she would never be able to bring herself to truly and wholly hate Lucy. She was just too kind, too good, too pretty, too perfect to hate.
"It's all right. I shouldn't 'ave taken offence like that."
"No, I should have thought." Lucy assured the redhead. Nellie smiled crookedly.
"Well, shall we go and find Benjamin?" She suggested. Lucy smiled and nodded, slipped her arm around Nellie's elbow as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
"I think he's still in Hyde Park, he seemed to think you'd go there."
"No, I ended up down at the docks." Nellie explained.
As the two girls walked towards Hyde Park, Nellie reflected that, even if she couldn't love Benjamin as a wife loved her husband, she could rely on Lucy to be a good wife. It would break her heart to see them together, but maybe the knowledge that they were happy would go towards stitching it back together again.
And who knows? Maybe, just maybe, one day she'd get another chance to love Benjamin Barker…
Mrs Lovett traced one pale finger over the lines and shading of the portrait she was holding, a small melancholy smile on her face. An iritated sigh brought her back to her senses, and she looked up to see Mr Todd shaking his head, sat at the bench.
"You've been acting strangely all day, Mrs Lovett." He said in response to the questioning look the baker sent his way. Mrs Lovett shrugged, and tossed her auburn curls carelessly.
"Jus' reminiscing, love." She replied, returning her gaze once more to the portrait Benjamin Barker had drawn of the thirteen-year-old Nellie all those years ago. "'Bout 'ow much a friend did for me... 'fore 'e died, that is."
"A friend?" The barber's interest was piqued. He obviously didn't catch the hint in her voice. Mrs Lovett stood, leaving the piece of aged paper on the counter.
"Yeah. 'E died... must be fifteen years ago now. In Australia."
For a brief moment, barber and baker stared at each other, and then Mr Todd shrugged, and downed the last of his gin.
"Well, I can understand why."
There was another silence, longer this time. And it was ended by an unexpected question.
"D'you ever read, Mrs Lovett?"
"That I do, love." The baker replied, a strange expression on her face. "It can only help, after all."
"That it can, my dear." The barber stared out of the window. "That it can indeed..."
