A/N: Okay this chapter is short, very easibly reconciled after the last chapter, But hey, REAL couples have bad days and slightly better days… Here's to the beginning of better days for Em and Ian, huh?
A/N2:Haha well yeahh okay last chapter did NOTTTT go in the direction I had originally intended. Yes the hate sex scene was portrayed more like a rape, but oh fuck it I just felt like my other "Sex" scenes were too pg-13 ish... Whatever Im over it. Lol Song in bold/italics is This Is Gonna Hurt, by Sixx AM
IANs POV.
1234567
You got your hell together
You know it could be worse
A self-inflicted murder
Maybe maybe
You say it's all a crisis
You say it's all a blur
There comes a time you've gotta face it face it
Hey hey hell is what you make make
Rise against your fate fate
Nothing's gonna keep you down
Even if it's killing you
Because you know the truth
Ian was sitting in the backyard watching the kids play. This was a silly thing to say, seeing as how, they had a 8 foot brick wall around their property the kids could not possibly go anywhere, and secondly, he was not ACTUALLY watching them. He was staring intently at this particular blade of grass that was significantly longer than the other meticulously groomed lawn. In some way this bothered him. Lots of things bothered him lately. Emily's constant prying, Declan's neediness with help with homework or his chores, the twins unrelenting screaming, giggling, shrieking, whatever. It all drove him insane.
His problem with Emily was coming to a precipice though, and he could either walk away from the edge, or he could jump. If he jumped, he had a feeling she wouldn't come to catch him this time. He was pushing her away, mentally and physically. He was becoming the violent psychopath all her friends had warned her about. He knew he needed help. He just felt like NO one, could possibly understand. That little girl haunted his every dream, every time he closed his eyes, she was there. Naked, starved, and the look of frozen terror on her beaten face made him want to just end it all.
Inside he felt like this was karma's way of punishing him for all the evil he'd caused, committed, conspired, it was payback. And Paybacks are a bitch. He would never again have a content sleep, he would always be forever paranoid something bad was going to happen to his little Lauren.
"Ian?" He heard come from behind him as her soft hand touched his shoulder.
"Mmm?" He acknowledged, feeling her touch, but refusing to look up at her. He couldn't. He couldn't look her in the eye after what he'd done last week. The bruises he'd left. She'd covered them as best as she could for the kids sakes, but in the shower there was no hiding what he'd done. He supposed he'd done worse to her, no broken bones this time anyways…Somehow that didn't make him feel any better.
"Ian, I uh, Well, the dinner's done if the kids are hungry…" She said motioning to the dining room door.
"Alright. Kids, go eat with your mother." He said firmly over the raucous amounts of noise they were making.
"Umm, Well they aren't eating with me, I made something a little more adult for us and our guest."
That got his attention. What guest? Had she mentioned having a guest over? He barely listened to her talk these days it was possible… This had bad written all over it if she thought he would be good dinner company. He'd be better off eating cheesy noodles with the kids…
"We have a guest coming? Love, I'm not really in the—"
"Its Rossi." Ian froze. Why was her former co-worker coming over for dinner? Garcia and Kevin were commonplace enough at their table, rarely any of the male comrades bothered to do more than call or skype with Emily.
"Rossi?"
"Yeah, ok Ian, I mean hear me out…" She reasoned as he stood up out of the patio chair he'd been slouched in. She looked nervous. She was probably afraid he would hit her or yell at her, or even worse; ignore her completely.
"Rossi's coming over, because he's, well, he's a good listener, I mean he was the ONLY soul on this earth I had told about my, my well, you know. He knew what I'd done and he supported me, he understood and he didn't judge me for it. He made me brave again, at least mentally. Ian winced, the way she talked so highly of Rossi it made his heart twinge a little. The first emotion he'd felt towards her in a while… Maybe it was the start of something.
"So what Emily, you want me to tell him everything? The whole story, who I am , what I've done, WHAT I'VE DONE?" He repeated a little louder than necessary.
"No, No! Ian, Rossi can understand, a couple years ago he was in the same boat as you. He held onto something for so long, it became a PART of him. Ian I can't let that happen to you. Please, just… lets just eat, we'll all talk, I'll be RIGHT there. You don't have to do all of this alone!" Emily said her eyes tearing up again. He just stared at her. The devil on his left shoulder told him, to tell the prying overprotective bitch to mind her own business and deal with her own problems. The angel told him, she, Emily Prentiss, held the only key to his heart, his happiness, his bloody life. If he pushed her any farther she would leave, and she wouldn't come back… Not Ever.
For once in his life Ian listened to the angel, not the one on his shoulder necessarily, the Brown haired, Brown eyed beauty, that was Emily. His only solace in a swirling vortex of entropy. About 20 years ago he'd seen a film in London in the cinema there. He'd only gone at the request of his current piece of arm candy at the time, Frankie and Johnny was the name of it. He'd thought the movie was a total chick flick of course, but deep down inside he'd prayed to the saints that he would find his Frankie. The one person you connect to in this world, despite the bad, that person would be by your side. Total kismet. Then years later he'd met a woman named Lauren Reynolds. She was Frankie to his Johnny. His praying had paid off. She was the ONE. How could he push her away now?
He let Emily drag him inside to the bathroom to clean up before Dave got there. She ran to the closet, almost excitedly to grab him a clean shirt, as she moved to step away from him, he grabbed her arm gently, spinning her around to face him. He placed a hand on the side of her face, and for the first time in days he looked into his angel's eyes.
He had no idea what Rossi would have to say, but He was thankful that Emily had reached out….if even for the one last time.
