A/N hello! Here's chapter three!

This chapter is dedicated to These guilty pleasures for the amazing enthusiasm.


(Ginny and Harry's POV, 3rd person)

"I've got a better idea"

Ginny apperated into the deserted road of the Muggle town, clutching the Deluminator to her chest. She closed her eyes and once again heard the sound of her husband's soft sob in her mind. The light that had gone into her tingled through her now, telling her she was close. She could smell salt in the air and she knew she was close to the sea. She opened her eyes again and peered through the rain that was slowing to a drizzle; in front of her was gravel that seemed to stretch for miles on end before hitting a tall wall. She had been here before, and she shivered remembering how drawn Harry had been to this particular place. Sure enough, she could just about make out the blurred figure of a man sitting on the wall. She knew, without a doubt, who it was. She started to walk towards the figure only to find herself running full pelt towards him, remembering what lay on the over side of the wall.

"No! Harry, don't do it!" she cried out to him, stumbling on the gravel. She steadied herself then began to run again, her heart beating wildly. She didn't stop until she hit something solid. She started to stumble back: she couldn't stop now; she needed to get to him, but stopped when she felt two strong arms encircle her.

"Ginny, Ginny! What's wrong?" The sound of her husband's muffled voice washed over her like the waves below. He was ok, he was alive, and he was in so much trouble. She pulled herself out of his hold.

"What's wrong? What's wrong!" she screeched. "What were you thinking? Didn't you think about what it would do to us? To our children? You might as well be taking us with you! How could you?" She was yelling, breathing heavily, rubbing her hands over her face.

Memories were bombarding him one by one. He could hear his uncle's voice shouting in his head, pounding in his ears,

"What were you thinking you stupid boy! Can't you do anything right! We give you a home, food, clothes and this is the thanks we get, you ungrateful little-"

"I hate you! We all hate you! You deserve to-"

"Please...stop yelling…" Ginny's head snapped up and she instantly regretted raising her voice. Harry had backed up against the wall, trembling, tear tracks running from his eyes. And his eyes- his beautiful eyes- were no longer the twinkling vivid green, but had been replaced by a darker, haunted look. What had happened to him? Had she really affected him that much? Had she broken him? All the past arguments they had had came flooding back to her:

"Oh for crying out loud, Harry! I told you to pick me up at ten past five not five past ten!"

"What's wrong with you? I spent ages cleaning that!"

"I asked for Chinese! CHINESE! Can't you even get that right?"

She remembered overhearing Ron asking Harry, after a particularly nasty argument where she had yelled for hours and he had merely shrugged it off,

"How do you cope with her yelling at you all the time mate? How do you just shrug it off like that?"

"I'm used to it. My uncle used to yell a lot"

Was she as bad as his uncle? Did she remind Harry of his uncle? She pushed the thoughts away and carried on more softly,

"You can't just leave us like that. You can't just throw away your life… like that." Harry just blinked at her, still looking startled, but relieved that the yelling had stopped.

"Throw away-" his eyes widened in shock as realisation hit him. "No, Ginny, I wasn't, I wasn't going to- Ginny, I was just sitting here. I wouldn't do that. I can't." He spluttered, releasing his hold on the wall behind him and stepping closer to her. Ginny sighed in pure relief and though slightly ashamed that she thought her husband was trying to kill himself, Ginny couldn't completely blame herself for thinking it. She had never seen Harry look so rattled before, so vulnerable.

"Harry, where have you been? We've been so worried! We were looking for you everywhere." She breathed.

"You were?" He failed to hide the surprise in his voice.

"Of course we were! Hermione's a total wreak, Ron's walking around like a zombie and Teddy- he's going crazy with worry." Harry was in complete shock. They had noticed, they did care. How could he have thought otherwise? "The whole Auror department is looking for you!"

"What? I- they can't be! It hasn't been long enough! Has it?" How long had he been gone?

"They're doing it willingly. They're your men, they care about you!" Ginny's voice echoed in his mind as a small smile played over his lips. 'They care about you.' They care about me.

"They just don't want Smith to take over." He joked weakly, unable to comprehend how he could forget about everything he had come to believe in so quickly. How had he forgotten that he had people who cared about him, that would miss him if he was gone, so easily?

Ginny couldn't help feel calmed, seeing him joke, but it didn't stop the worries flying around in her head.

"But really, where have you been? You weren't leaving, were you?" Her voice dropped to a whisper.

"No! Ginny I would never just..." he trailed off, remembering that he had in fact been thinking of disappearing, to leave his family to their lives - hopefully much better off without him.

"You wouldn't leave us?" Ginny prompted. She had noticed the faraway look in his eyes as he trailed off, unable to meet her eyes; It unnerved her greatly.

"I thought about it." he admitted quietly, hanging his head.

"What! No! You- you can't!" Ginny was beginning to panic. She had finally found him, only to find she was losing him. She was finding it hard to breathe as she continued, "I get that you would want to leave me-" but she got no further as Harry embraced her, hugging her fiercely. She could feel him shaking, his heart beating feverously against her chest. After a while he pulled her away from him, but didn't let go of her, gripping her by the shoulders. Ginny looked up and their eyes locked, Harry's eyes blazing passionately as he gazed into hers.

"Ginny, no!" he breathed. "Ok, yeah, I thought about it, but I don't want to! Merlin, I don't! It would break my heart to leave you, Gin. To leave the kids!"

"So don't then!" she begged.

"But wouldn't that be better? I wouldn't keep ruining things for you... I wouldn't keep letting you down." He reasoned, a tear falling down his cheek. Ginny could see the pain behind the flames in his eyes. She could tell he was being ripped apart inside, and she finally understood. He wasn't fed up with her, he honestly believed he she would be better off. It was Dumbledore's funeral all over again, only this time she was not giving in.

"Better! You honestly think my life would be better without you! You're mad! I would be crushed! And so would the kids! We need you Harry. I need you!" Her eyes shone with tears as she spoke, passion and sincerity in every syllable, and she said what she had should have said sooner, more frequently, what she had been terrified she'd never be able to say to him again - "I love you!"

Before she knew it, they were kissing, their lips against each over, holding each other, water and fire entwined. Husband and wife. Their tears running into each other. She ran her hands through his untameable hair, tingling as he caressed her. They kissed amorously, passionately, their lips moving in sync with one another. They were a couple standing in the pouring rain, the sea smashing against the wall below, loving each other. Ginny pulled away still trembling slightly and she continued as if the moment spontaneous and wild passion had never happened.

"I know I haven't always shown that. I kept yelling at you for the smallest of things. But I thought it was ok. That it was just normal arguments, all couples have them, that you were ok with it, you could handle it. I never thought about how much it would hurt you." She confessed.

"No, it's ok. I don't mind. Your just venting your frustration, we all do it." He reassured her.

"No, it's not ok." She snapped, slightly impatient. Didn't he get it? Didn't he understand that what she did was wrong? "I shouldn't have treated you like that. I'm sorry. It's not right. You were."

"I- What?"

"Every time we argued you would always tell me to calm down, that we should go into another room, that we're scaring the kids. And now they're really scared Harry. I never thought how any of this would affect them. I'm a terrible mother." The words tumbled out of her, unstoppable.

"No, Ginny, you're amazing. I'm the terrible one! I'm never there for them!"

"What! Harry how can you say that? Who caught James when he fell out of that tree? Who stayed up every night with Lily when she had all those nightmares, even though you had work in the morning?" she demanded. "Who cheered Al up when he got dragon pox, only to end up with it yourself? Who was the one that-"

"Ginny, Ginny I get the idea." Harry cut her off, unable to stop the smile playing on his face. He grew serious once again and he sighed, looking like he'd aged a year. "I think we've both screwed up Gin. Not just with the kids, but with each other."

"How did you screw up with me?" Ginny asked looking her confusion. "You're always so patient with me. I can't remember the last time you've even yelled." she reminded him. Harry sighed again and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Ginny was glad to see the tears had stopped but she could help her heart beating wildly, nor the own tears in her eyes as she remembered a quote from her favourite book,

'It was strange how when lovers say goodbye they take all the blame'

"I haven't paid you enough attention Gin" he explained heavily, avoiding her eyes. Ginny opened her mouth to disagree but he cut her off, his voice marred with self spite.

"Aw, come on, when was the last time I kissed you? And I mean properly. When was the last time I held you without the necessity? I mean randomly, spontaneously. When was the last time we… you know?" Ginny felt herself blush slightly. "Or the last time I took you out to a meal?"

"Two days ago!" she shouted, glad to finally have something to counteract his guilt with, proof that the thoughts in his head were not true. She wasn't giving in without a fight. Harry gave a humourless snort of laughter.

"That wasn't a meal."

"Yes, it was!" she yelled back desperately, slightly to convince herself as well.

"I didn't eat anything Gin! You didn't even talk to me! You were so busy with...with Gethin" he said the name with as much spite as he could muster.

"Oh my Merlin, you were jealous?" she asked wide-eyed, her heart skipping a beat. She couldn't help the pleased feeling that was coursing through her. She had been so disheartened by her husband's lack of response throughout the whole meal.

"Of course I bloody was!" he yelled, his eyes flashing, "How could I not be with the way you two were giggling away with each other! So happy to be in each other's company? And how is that you don't giggle round, me huh? I don't make you happy, do I?" he demanded spitefully, not even bothering to hide his jealousy. He knew he would be ashamed later for acting like a jealous little school boy, but right now he didn't care. She had hurt him. Now he knew he hadn't deserved the way she had treated him, it was a lot easier to be mad.

"Oh Harry!" Ginny cried flinging her arms around him, startling him. "I never knew. I swear, Harry, I hated every moment with him. He's just so boring, and tedious! Harry, I was giggling. You know I don't giggle"

"At least not 'round me." he huffed, gently pulling her away so he could look at her. He found his anger ebbing away despite himself as her chocolate eyes found his. Her eyes sparkled with glee, a smile spread across her full rich lips,

"Because you make me laugh! He didn't make me laugh that night, did he? Nobody can make me laugh the way you do." She reached up to brushed his fringe out of his eyes but stopped mid-movement as he saw his eyes darken, the brief sparkle at her words, fading. She felt herself slipping out of his grip… he was letting her go.

"You trying to make me jealous? The whole time?" his voice was barely a whisper, yet it carried over the sound of the sea crashing below, twice as destructive.

"I just wanted to know, to get a response out of you, to get you to show some emotion!" she confessed, desperation showing through her voice. Her eyes searched his, silently pleading for him to understand. She had to know. He had been so distant with her and she had been so scared of losing him. Gethin had seemed to be the perfect opportunity, just a reckless and spontaneous stab at getting him to see what he was missing.

"I show emotion!" he protested, his voice still low, harbouring a cold edge to it.

"No you don't! You keep it all locked away, you mask it. You've bottled it up and now look what's happened." She knew she was pushing him, her heart beating wildly, at was if dealing with a ticking time bomb. One mistake, one remark, one comment too far...

"Oh, and bottling it up is so much better that your method?" he retorted sarcastically, almost harshly. She winced. She knew he had every right to be mad. She hadn't cheated on him, she would never in a million years do that, but she knew it was still a betrayal to him. She took a deep shaky breath. She had to keep going. She had to see it through, she couldn't lose him. They were standing barely an inch apart but she had never felt so far away from him, as if with every passing second he was slipping out of her grasp, fading away.

"Ok, I deserved that. You have every right to be mad at me."

"Thank you for your permission" Ginny winced again. She hated this cold side to him, the side she rarely saw, especially directed at her. The silence was deafening. She almost wished he'd just start yelling.

"You should have been mad at me today." She told him, the words leaving her lips before she could stop them. "I wish you had been"

"Huh?" he asked, clearly caught off guard by the change in direction.

"Harry, don't you think I would prefer you yelling back at me than you just… walking out on me?" Harry's eyes grew wide and Ginny sucked in her breath. This was it...

"Ginny! I did not walk out on you! I went to the supermarket! To get the eggplant-thingy!" Ginny visibly relaxed, relief washing over her. Then she suddenly remembered,

"Yeah, I went to the supermarket, Harry. I found your shopping on the floor." The whole day replayed itself in her mind. Harry coming home, her yelling at him, waiting and waiting for him to come, finally finding him, tear tracks down his face. "Harry, what happened? Why didn't you come home?" she asked softly. He looked away from her avoiding her eyes. Ginny's eyes narrowed in concern as she gently but firmly steered him towards the wall and sat him down. She sat down next to him. Neither of them spoke; even the waves seemed to calm to a gentle hush.

"I didn't want to. I couldn't." He whispered, breaking the silence.

"Why not?"

"I don't know. I was confused. I couldn't make sense of anything. I was- I guess I was scared." He admitted, and Ginny knew it had cost him a lot to say it aloud. She was amazed that he could still open up to her after everything that had happened.

"Scared? Of me yelling at you again?" she asked trying to keep the guilt out of her voice. Her self-pity wasn't going to help him.

"Partly" he conceded. She shot him an apologetic look and he gave her the smallest of smiles in return. "But really I just didn't want to see the truth. So I ran from it instead" He hung his head, clearly ashamed.

"Truth? What truth?"

"I didn't want to see the pity in all your eyes or the disappointment in James's or the hatred in Albus's, or the..." but Ginny cut him off. Where on earth is this coming from?

"Harry what? What do you mean pity? We don't pity you, it's physically impossible for Albus to hate you - and we've been through this, Harry! He doesn't resent you for not being there!" She reassured him, referring to the many arguments they had had when he had told her of his fears that James would never forgive him.

"I know. I know that now." He told her, giving her a reassuring smile. Ginny was glad to see his eyes were considerably lighter.

"Now? Harry, what on earth made you start thinking it? Come on, something must have happened for you to start believing all this. Where are you getting all these ideas from?" Harry's eyes darkened again and he looked down. Ginny sighed. Harry had always been hard to get through to. You had to literally pry him open, and keep on at him for him to open up even a little. He shook his head,

"It's stupid, Gin. It's just- it's nothing. I feel so stupid for letting myself break down like this and making you guys worry. I can't believe I just gave up after everything I've come to believe in. I'm sorry Ginny."

"Harry…" He looked up at her. "What aren't you telling me?" Harry allowed himself to look into her eyes and immediately became lost in them, a sense of calm washing over him, and before he knew it he was telling her everything. Of how he saw his uncle, how all the memories had come back, how he had let his uncle get to him, how the familiar words from his childhood had infiltrated him, contaminating his beliefs, making him lose all sense of himself.

"...And I just ran Ginny. I ran."

"Shhh. It's ok" she comforted him, holding him close, his head resting on her shoulder. "It's ok, Harry. I don't think any less of you, no one would. He's put you through so much. You didn't have to just stand there and take it. You don't have to do that anymore, you have the right to run, and you have the right to actually be human! We're all entitled to our weak moments. Even you." She felt him nod into her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair before whispering in his ear,

"Come on love, let's go home"

"How can I?" He asked, his voice muffled, "Like this? What am I going to tell everyone? That I ran away from my uncle because I couldn't handle what he was telling me?"

"Harry, no one's going to care. They're just going to be relieved to know you're ok."

And so they stood, and began their journey home.


Please review! Last chapter should be up soon! Well, hopefully. –Ami. Also Ginny-T-Potter:

I couldn't reply to you so Thank you for your review and as to your review on my other story, I haven't! I'm trying to get it back up again.

And, 'Not a person' –well I'll let the update itself be a response.

Neeecole66- I've tried but I can't find them! Guess that's why I have a beta. If you want to point them out be my guess otherwise...

'It was strange how when lovers say goodbye they take all the blame'- not a direct quote as Ginny's not a 'he' but it's from the epilogue of Sharpe's Eagle by Bernard Cornwell, perhaps not Ginny's favourite book but certainly mine.