Previously:
Draco was cut off short when Hermione appeared in the doorway, throwing her curly hair into a ponytail. The two boys gave each other panicked looks.
"Act like you just apparated here, huh?" she said, calmly finishing off her hair. "So, how long have you been in here?" She twirled her wand in her fingers, waiting patiently for the two boys to create a story that would save their lives.
Draco laughed so nervously that it could have easily been mistaken for a little girl's giggle. "Not long. We just apparated here. I didn't say 'act', did I? Silly little old me…"
"Don't lie to me or I will curse you both so bad that you won't even remember your own names!" Hermione said angrily, pointing her wand at them.
"Okay, okay, we got here and DRACO watched you change your clothes!" Blaise confessed.
"You can't prove that!" the blonde said in his defense.
"Oh really?" Hermione asked. "So, why, if I may ask, are my red underwear somehow attached to your belt?!"
Draco looked down and sure enough in his frenzy to put away her things, her panties got caught in his belt. "They're mine?"
"Blaise, say goodbye to your little friend," she muttered, pointing her wand directly at his chest. She ripped her underwear from his belt angrily.
"Hermione, sweetheart, there is no need to murder anyone tonight," Blaise said. "Maybe tomorrow?"
"But he was watching me cha—," she was interrupted by another female voice.
"Blaise!" Ginny exclaimed, jumping into his arms. Immediately he caught her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her without hesitation or worry of her reaction.
"Well, if this isn't an example of suppressed animalistic heat then I don't know what is," Draco said.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Let's go. They need some…err…catching up to do."
"Not going to kill me when we're alone?" he asked, as she led him to the kitchen.
"I don't want your limp body lying on my soft, clean rug, thank you."
"Oh, aren't you oh-so witty," Draco said. "Well, look at this! Granger has cooked up a delicious meal. Who knew? Brains and some talent…"
"Don't forget good looks," she smiled as she laid out four plates of food.
"Agreed."
"Did I just receive a full package of compliments from Draco Malfoy?"
"Yes but the special is over so I just suggest you forget it ever happened."
"And is the special that includes being civil over as well?" she asked.
Draco grinned. "Most definitely, you wench."
"Thought so. I'll go retrieve the animals."
Draco sat patiently and laughed when he heard Hermione scream, "Oi! Put on your clothes and go eat dinner! This will NOT happen in my bedroom!"
A sheepish Ginny and Blaise entered the kitchen, hair in disarray and clothes all crumpled. "We got a little carried away," she whispered, taking a seat.
Hermione came after them, blushing furiously. "Well, that was more than I planned to see for a very long time!"
"Aw, has it been long since you've been graced by the presence of a real man?" Draco questioned.
At this, Ginny let out a loud laugh. "Hermione is graced by men and women more often than you may think!"
"GINEVRA WEASLEY!" Hermione exclaimed, turning an even deeper shade of red.
"Men and women?!" Draco repeated. "Are you kidding?"
"Thanks a lot, Ginny!" the brunette said. "I've lost my appetite and everything."
Blaise was wolfing down his pasta without thinking twice. "C'mon, I knew you were a bisexual ages ago."
"That's only because you caught her in a compromising situation with that muggle girl. What was her name?" Ginny asked.
Glaring, Hermione said, "Cassandra."
"MERLIN'S GLOSSY EYES OF WISDOM, WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING?!" Draco shrieked.
"We kissed once!" Hermione answered quickly.
"That's a lie!" Blaise said. "You were clearly having a fantastic time with your head between her legs!"
"BLAISE YOMANINGTON ZABINI!"
Ginny almost fell to the floor with laughter. "No wonder you didn't want to tell me your middle name! Yomanington."
"You said you'd take that to the grave, Hermione!"
"You just told everyone I was giving head!"
"Can I join in next time?!" Draco asked, enthusiastically.
Hermione glared at him. "I wouldn't let your naked form come near me or any of my sexual partners, ever."
"You're frisky between the sheets aren't you?"
"Okay, that's it," Hermione said. "I'm done. I'm going to go watch the television." With that said, she stood up and went into the living room.
"Were Cassandra's knockers big?" Draco asked once she was gone.
"Merlin, you should have se—hmm, I rather not discuss this," Blaise said once he saw Ginny glaring at him menacingly. "Honey, your knockers are fantastic…"
"Okay, time to go," Draco said, getting up. "Off to interrogate Granger."
Hermione and Draco sat awkwardly on the living room couch. The television was switched on to music videos of girls shaking their bottoms while wearing scandalous bathing suits. Blaise and Ginny were still in the kitchen talking and trying to understand what happened to their relationship. Draco coughed lightly.
"Err…muggle girls are nice," he muttered, staring at the television.
"They're half naked but then again, you're a hot-blooded male, aren't you?" Hermione said.
"You're still sour about the panties and the bisexual fiasco."
"My underwear was hanging off of your belt and frankly, I didn't need you finding out about my sexual orientation that way!"
"Who cares? It's all very sexy!"
Hermione grinned. "I know it is."
"Since when are you so damn cocky?" he asked.
"Since you got all excited about everything you find out about me: my underwear, my body, and my sexual preference."
Draco was about to retaliate when Blaise appeared, clutching Ginny's hand. He squeezed himself next to Draco and pulled the red head onto his lap. Hermione scowled as Draco was pushed closely to her.
"Personal space!" she muttered loudly.
Blaise ignored her. "Betty La Fea is on in five minutes!"
"No, we're not watching that crap!" Draco complained.
"But it's funny," Ginny smiled.
"You can't understand it!" both Draco and Hermione said in unison. They promptly glared at each other.
Ginny stole the remote control from her and switched it to the Spanish channel. "Blaise taught me Spanish in my 6th year."
"So are you two back together or what?" Hermione asked, wriggling in her tight spot from discomfort.
"Yes," Blaise said, while Ginny said, "No." She sighed. "I want to take it slow."
"But I can't see why," Blaise said. "We already care about each other. We might as well enjoy it."
"I just don't want to rush into things; we have our entire lives."
"Whatever. If anyone asks, you're my girl."
Ginny rolled her eyes. "You're so bloody stubborn."
"Oh, Merlin's Wooden Staff of Answers, could you two stop the married couple act?" Draco asked with an annoyed edge to his voice.
The other three eyes him oddly. "Wooden staff of answers?" Hermione said again.
"I have a wide imagination…," he mumbled.
"Anyway…oh, it's starting!" said Blaise excitedly. He started singing to the soap opera's theme song.
"This is the weirdest moment of my life," Hermione said, rubbing her temples.
"For once Granger," Draco sighed, "I have to agree with you."
"Okay, well I can't sit here watching something I can't understand. I'm going to my room," Hermione said, standing up.
"I'm going with you wench!" Draco said. Hermione shot daggers at him with her eyes. "Please?" With a large, reluctant sigh, she nodded.
Ginny and Blaise grinned after him. "Do you think it'll happen?" she asked.
"No way…," Blaise answered.
Hermione walked into her room and took a seat in front of her laptop. Turning it on, it revealed a picture of Harry, Ron, and her when they graduated. She sighed a little sadly and then went straight into the internet to check her email.
"Where is the rest of the dream team anyway?" Draco asked, opening a drawer and looking through her underwear again.
"They're always on missions, finding out about any hidden organizations that still might feel the need to support the Dark Arts…any left over Death Eaters…they're very busy…," she replied, typing away.
He picked up a candle and sniffed it. "They're in love with each other. Always attached by the hip."
"What about you and Blaise?"
"Please, we don't roll that way."
Hermione snorted. "You guys are two inches away from flaming gay."
"Shutup Granger, not everyone is like you."
"You're an intolerable git, did you know?"
"Born and raised, apparently," he muttered.
Draco dropped an earring he was observing and it rolled under the bed. Glancing at Hermione, he quietly got down to get it. While he was getting the earring, his eyes caught sight of a raggedy shoe box but it was obvious that there was something more interesting inside than shoes. Curiosity got the better of him and he pulled it out silently. He sat on her bed and almost fell over laughing when he saw its contents.
"Why not just have the real thing?" he asked.
"What are you talking about?" Hermione said, spinning her chair around. Sure enough, Draco was clutching her box of sexual toys.
"I'm hung like a hippogriff, if you're that desperate. You don't need this."
Now she was blushing furiously once again. "Okay, give me back the box. I've been humiliated enough today."
"Wow, there is a magazine in here too. You are a saucy little witch, aren't you?"
"Malfoy, give it to me!" she yelled, lunging at him.
"Do you use them often?" Draco asked, pushing her off.
"Hand them over!"
"Are you horny everyday, is that the case?"
Hermione jumped on him, tackling him to the bed. He was holding on to the box with dear life as she frantically tried to pull it out of his grasp. Draco grinned and flipped her over, into her back. He put the box aside and pinned her arms down.
"What is it you pretend to do?!" Hermione screamed.
"Quench your obviously unsatisfied sexual desires," Draco answered, leaning down to kiss her.
She pulled one of her hands free, grabbed a vibrator from her box, and slapped him with it. "You will NOT be kissing me, you pig!"
"I don't know if I should be disgusted of aroused because it's been inside of you."
Hermione hit him again and pushed him off. "I thought you hated me!"
"Sweetheart, I've seen you in underwear, found out you were bisexual, and came upon your box of toys. What is there to hate?!"
"You are an idiot!" she yelled, throwing the vibrator at his eye.
"OW, YOU POKED IT OUT!"
"Good, you bastard!"
"No," said Draco. "I'm serious. I think you hit it really bad. Check it out, please."
Hermione sighed at his sincerity and cupped his face. "Move your hand and let me see…"
The minute Draco removed his hand, he lunged at Hermione and tried to kiss her again. This time, she started throwing numerous toys at him.
"I am NEVER going to let you kiss me, you asshole!"
Draco laughed. "Ah, you are a riot when angry."
"That's it! Get out of my house!"
"But I'm not here alone. What about Blaise?"
"Aw, what is it honey? Can't find your way home?" she mocked.
"Oh, how funny," he said sarcastically, throwing a dildo at her.
Hermione threw one at him and next thing they knew, there was a full blown war between the both of them consisting of toys.
"What is going on in here?" Ginny asked, running in with Blaise.
"It's a…a Dildo War," Blaise muttered, eyebrow raised.
"Oh, this is so utterly embarrassing…," Hermione sighed.
"I think we should go Blaise," suggested Draco.
"Right," he said. Sighing, he kissed Ginny. "I'll see you soon."
"We're Apparating, right?" asked Draco.
"Psht, no…," he answered. Blaise pulled out a piece of chalk and started to draw on Hermione's wall.
"What in bloody hell are you doing?!" she screamed.
Blaise ignored her and pushed on the wall. The portal opened, leaving a dumbfounded Ginny and Hermione.
"Explain yourself," Ginny said.
"Magic chalk draws doorways to wherever you want," he answered.
"I want one! You guys owe me for humiliating me today!" Hermione insisted.
"Fuck you!" Draco said.
"Shutup!" Blaise ordered, exasperated. "Look, I'll give you one only because we're all going to be around each other a lot from now on."
"What makes you think that?" Draco asked.
"Ginny and him, you imbecile," answered Hermione.
"Okay, that's it. Draco, go through," Blaise said.
With a shrug and a final glare at Hermione, he went through the hole in the wall. Blaise sighed deeply and went through, tapped the wall and said, 'Peeping Passed'.
A/N: Forgive me? I'm so sorry. I really didn't intend on taking so long. My mind was on total and complete lock. May was a bit of a difficult month, and the weeks after that didn't get any easier. It was almost as if I couldn't find the "funny" in me, you know? I had no humor to write. With help of my unofficial beta, Cassy, whom I give a bit of a dedication to somewhere in the chapter, I was able to get motivated and she's hilarious, so together I think we're pretty fucking funny. I've also, once again, incorporated bisexuality into Hermione's character. I think it makes her more interesting and more prone to funny moments. This chapter has a lot of profanity lol, I don't know, some people may be a little sensitive towards it. But hey, it's funny. Thank you guys for reading. I'll try to stay loyal. Thanks for reading, reviewing, and hopefully enjoying
