"Jack…"he began, but she cut him abruptly.

"Please Ian… no lies. Not tonight. Just stay… stay with me. Just tonight. I won't bother you again, I promise, just…don't leave me alone. Please Ian…"

It was the first time he had ever heard her beg, and it broke his heart. A heart he had tried to turn into stone to avoid situations like that. Situation where his heart was fighting against his head. Situation where his heart was winning against his head.

When Jack had first arrived at the Riders, Ian had done his best to keep her at arms length. She was Alex's fulltime babysitter, and that was it. But Jack had grown on him. Her playful personality, her heartfelt laugh, heck, even her scolding ! had become an important part of his life. And no matter how much he had tried not to, he knew he was slowly falling for her. And he knew he couldn't, because if she knew she would be in danger, and if something happened to her, then he would break down. Because in some way, Jack was his anchor. Alex as well, but Jack was the one keeping him human. Had she not been there, his only interactions with his nephew would probably have been training. But Jack had always made sure that he spent some bonding time with Alex, taking him to the movie, going to an amusement park… She had been the one yelling at him when he came back too late for Alex's birthday or for christmas, the one patching up his injuries because he refused to go to the hospital more than he needed to.

"I'll never leave you, Jack" he whispered, holding her closer.

"Liar. They will call you again, and you will go again, and this time you might not be coming back, and what will happen then ?"

"I have taken certain measure to make sure you two will be able to live on and…"

Jack slapped him. Hard.

" I don't care about whatever measure you have taken in the case you were to die, Ian! You shouldn't be thinking about the fact that you might die! Even with all those measure, you can't die! Because Alex needs you! You're the only father figure he has, and he loves you! Do you want to know what will happen to him if you die? He'll do something stupid like going after those who killed you! He will probably be taken in by your boss since you did such a good job at training him, and then they'll use him to do your job! And he will get hurt, probably killed, just because you died Ian! He needs you more than he'll probably ever admit! And… I need you too. I don't know what I would do without you, Ian."

Ians heart froze when she mentionned Alex. She was right. Blunt would not hesitate to use his nephew. The situations where a teenager would be more usefull than an adult were frequent. And the children division the MI5 had created were more of humans listening devices than real agents. They wouldn't be able to do things he needed to do. They would never be able to kill someone. Alex, however… while he had not trained his nephew to become a spy, he had trained him to be able to defend himself from those who might try to use Alex to hurt Ian. But the training had been the same. Alex knew lots of differents languages, five different kinds of martial arts, he knew how to survive in the wild by himself, he knew how to climb, be it buildings or mountains, he knew how to sneak around and he knew how to analyze situations and act based on that analyzis. He would be the perfect spy for MI6.

He was shaken out of his thought by Jack's last two sentences.

"Jack…"he held her closer, and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Please Ian… don't leave me alone…please…"

He remebered now that whenever something wasn't right with her, she wouldn't say a word to Alex about it. She didn't want to worry him with her problems. She had never allowed herself to break down in front of Alex. He was the only one she allowed herself to be weak in front of, even if it meant waiting for weeks until he came back from wherever he had been sent. He was the only one she trusted with her family problems, the only one she allowed to see her cry, ever since that day, five years ago. She was hurt, he knew, that he hadn't told her about MI6, but even now, instead of hating him, she was holding on him for her dear life.

"I won't leave you, Jack. Ever. You are right, as always. This job is killing me, and if it hurts you then it's not worth it. MI6 can go and find another agent willing to do their shit, because I won't be doing it any longer. I should have quit it long ago."

Jack was stunned. Not by the fact that he worked for MI6, it was either that or MI5, but by the fact that he had just told her that he would quit because his secrets had hurt her. Would he really? And if he did, would they let him?

"You really will?" she cursed herself for sounding so helpless.

"Yes. I should have done so years ago, when I got Alex's custody. But I thought I could handle it. I forgot that even John had decided to quit when Alex was born. When he died… it was supposed to be his last mission… Helen and he never came back. The plane exploded… But I thought I would manage. I thought I would be able to raise Alex, to protect him and to do my job without problems… But I became so focused on doing my job and protecting him that I forgot to be human."

"Ian…"

"Don't deny it, Jack. By the day you came here, I was nearly a machine. You were the one who reminded me that I was actually human. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there, but it probably wouldn't have been pretty."

Jack was silent now, thought tears still rolled down her face. It was the first time that Ian was actually telling her how he really felt. He was actually telling her the whole truth. And behind the strong façade, she could see the young man who had wanted to do his big brothers job and make him proud, even if said big brother was dead, because it was all he had left, and because it had been the only goal he had been able to aim for after his brother death.

This was the man she had looked up to since she had arrived in England. At first, it had been because he had helped her, giving her a roof and a salary. But then, little by little, she had looked up at him because even away, he was always protecting Alex. Protecting her. And with this realisation, feelings had started to grow in her. Feelings of love, that she had tried to deny at first, before being honest with herself. But she had hidden those feelings, out of fear. Fear of being rejected, and, more recently, fear of landing Ian into danger if it was known that she was associated with him. And here she was now, in Ian's arms, and he was telling her that she had, litterally, been his salvation. And that he would give up his job for her. Because he noticed that the state he was coming home in was hurting her. Not because it was too dangerouse for him. Not (only) because it put Alex at risk. But because she was getting hurt. Not even physically, but emotionally. Did that mean that he really needed her? That he loved her, maybe?

She could still feel Ians right hand gently stroking her hair, his left arm keeping her close to him. She could still smell his scent, feel his heartbeat unter the black leather jacket he was wearing. She could feel his warm breath in her neck, his presence reassuring and comforting.

Maybe it was all that combined, or maybe it was the alcool that she had previously drunk that was finally acting, but somehow, she found the courage to raise her voice and ask the question she had always wanted to ask him.

"Ian… What exactly… do you feel for me?"

There. She had said it. Well… more like asked it, but it was the same.

Ian was silent for a few moment, before answering in a whisper, his face hidden in her hair.

"When you first arrived here… You surprised me. I had imagined an older woman, like those nannies you always see in movies. But you weren't anything like that. You were an enthousiast young woman, and, even if I tried to keep you at arms length at first, you slowly gained an important place in my life. You were the one reminding me that I wasn't some kind of robot, but an human with feelings. You were the one who reminded me that Alex needed me, and that someone out there would care if I died. You were the one who reminded me that I was alive, Jack, that I had a reason to come back from a mission alive, that I had someone to come home to. And now, I can't understand how I managed to survive without you. No matter how much I tried to deny it, to convince me that I would only bring you harm if I let you come too close, I kew that I couldn't lie to myself any longer. I…"

He moved back a little, still holding here, but now looking her in the eyes.

"I love you, Jack."

Jack thought her heart had stopped for a moment, before it started beating again, but a lot faster than it had before. Sure, his tirade before had let her suppose that he loved her, but there was a difference between supposing and hearing it from Ians mouth. A huge difference. She took a deep breath.

"Ian… Don't interrupt me, please, I really need to say this now. First, let me tell you that for a spy, you're pretty unobservant. I've loved you for five years now. And you know what? Every second I had to wait for you to realise it was worth it if I could stay with you. Every. Bloody. Second. But now… just beeing here, in your arms… it's better than anything I had imagined."

As she talked, she brought her head close to his, their foreheads touching. Then, slowly, she brought her lips to his, and kissed him.

After a moment of surprise, Ian finally got what was happening and kissed her back, deepening the kiss.

When the need for air finally forced them to break the kiss, they stayed in a close embrace, just happy to be with each other. And they stood like this for a long time, until Jack started shivering.

"Cold?"Ian whispered.

"A little" she answered, a little guilty for breaking the moment.

Ian moved a little, and put his leather jacket around her shoulders, before standing up.

"Come on" he said with a smile, "let's go home before Alex calls the police."

He reached his hand for her, and Jack took it with a gentle smile. Ian pulled her up, then let go of her hand to put his arm around her shoulder and keep her close to him. As they walked towards their home in a comfortable silence, a question popped up in Jack's mind.

"How did you find me? Did Alex told you I had gone for a walk?"

Ian looked a bit guilty at that, and mumbled something.

"You what?" Jack asked, eyebrow raised.

"I put a GPS-tracker in your necklace" he muttered. "Alex has one too. This way, if something ever happened to you because of my j… ex-job, I would know where to find you. I checked it as I was driving home and I got worried when I saw you were still outside with this weather."

He had avaited a scolding for being overprotective, but Jack leaned a bit more in his embrace and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you" she whispered. "For being there for me. For reminding me that someone cared."

He knew who she was talking about. Her family. Who had told her that she shouldn't be alive. Who had disowned a thirteen-year-old who had tried to kill herself. He held her closer as they walked home. Together.

Because he would never leave her again if he could help it.