Just as she got to the door, Emma turned to watch her husband disappear into the kitchen. Smiling to herself, she thought of the lazy days ahead as they began their summer vacation. Much of it would be spent getting things ready for the baby and she knew Will was so excited to get started on the nursery. He had already enlisted Finn to help him paint. Well aware of the fact that the kids needed them right now, all she wanted to do was pop in a movie and crawl into bed with her husband.
Memories of their first summer together then flooded her mind. That first night after she found him sitting on the floor in front of her office was one of the most emotional nights of her life. For the first time, they were completely open and honest with each other. They knew that if they were going to make this work, they had to approach things with a clean slate. Everything was laid out on the table that night. They shed a lot of tears and kissed even more. It took no time at all for Emma to regain that close, comfortable feeling that she always experienced with Will and only with Will.
She remembered a question she knew he didn't dare ask when she first told him about the annulment. Emma knew he wanted to. It was written all over his face but out of respect for her and the timing of it all, he never asked before that night. "I need you to tell me the truth," he had said, "was I the reason you never slept with him?" She fiddled with the hem of her skirt for a minute before looking up at him and whispering, "Yes." She could see the love in his eyes he had only for her when she answered that question. "Why," he asked. She'll never forget him gently brushing the tear that had fallen off her check with his thumb. "Because it would have meant nothing to share myself with anyone but you," she answered almost mimicking word for word what he had told her just that morning with his arms wrapped around her so tight.
That moment alone cemented everything they had hoped for in a relationship. They knew they were on the same page and headed in the same direction. Neither of them would admit it out loud but they both had a hunch they would be married within a year. It was Emma that then suggested they move into together. Stunned by her boldness, Will couldn't refuse and they haven't slept apart since then except for those couple of days Will spent in the hospital when he had his tonsils out and even then she was in a chair next his bed.
Emma saw the same kind of love in the eyes of Finn and Rachel. She honestly didn't know if things would work out for them in the end but she was more than willing to give advice if it helped make things more clear. She knew she wouldn't dare be as revealing as her husband when it came to divulging details but she did think that they might be able to help.
"Finn," Emma said gently as she walked onto the porch, "can I join you?"
"Sure, Mrs. Schue," Finn answered scooting over on the swing.
"You can call me Emma," she responded sitting next her to him, adjusting the pillow behind her.
"I know," he said stroking Doodlebug's head, "Rachel just seemed a little weirded out by it."
"It's different now," Emma asked, "but the feelings are still there, aren't they?"
"When she walked into the auditorium," Finn said, "I felt the whole room light up before I even saw her face. Talking to her though, I just don't know what to say. Dinner at the Stix was really awkward."
"What did you two talk about," Emma said getting up to let the dog in the house.
"You guys mostly," he answered steadying the swing again so she could sit down.
"Why on earth would you talk about us," she asked.
"I did most of the talking actually. She was kind of quiet. She didn't want to talk about NYADA, our Senior Year or anything," Finn said, "I've had two years to sit back and think about things. It just seems like there were…are a lot of similarities."
"I'm beginning to see that too," Emma said, "my husband seems to think that we are more alike than we probably even realize."
"You call him your husband a lot," Finn said with a smile.
"Do I," Emma said. She never really stopped to think about it but she did speak of him as her husband, almost every chance she got to use the word. The word means so much to her and the swell of emotion she feels when she attaches Will to the word husband isn't something that she can quite explain.
"Yeah, you do," he responded.
"I guess sometimes hearing myself say it…," she started to say stumbling on her words.
"It turned out even better than you imagined so saying it, means it's real," Finn finished.
"Exactly," Emma said, "maybe you should be a guidance counselor."
"Nah," he said, "that's all you."
"Right now I'm afraid I'm not doing the best job," Emma said running a hand over her baby bump, "I'm really glad it's summer vacation. Maybe by the time school starts again, I will have gotten used to all the changes I'm going through being pregnant and I won't be as distracted."
"Will is certainly distracted. Every other word out of his mouth is baby," Finn said with a laugh, "I wonder if I'll ever go through that."
"He is so excited," Emma said patting Finn's knee, "Finn, there is no doubt in my mind that you're going to have this experience. And Will and I will sit back with our kids and watch you be a fantastic parent."
"Thanks," Finn asked.
"Talk to me, kid," she answered, "I haven't seen you this unsure of yourself since your senior year of high school."
"I'm so confused," Finn said quietly.
"I can understand what it's like to be confused," Emma said in agreement, "I've wanted to be with Will from the second I saw him. I just knew that he was the only person in the world for me and then there were so many obstacles. Most of which, I created."
"But Will came back to you," Finn said, "he told me that day in New York after he went to the theater by himself, that he couldn't do it. He couldn't let you go. It wasn't worth losing you. He didn't want the other kids to know that because he thought it was kind of inappropriate for them to know so much about his personal life but he told me."
Emma smiled sympathetically and let him continue. She felt it was best if he just let it all out and then she could share her thoughts.
"He told us all while we were working on writing a song that we had a job to do and he was going to see us through to the end," Finn said. "Did you know that Tina wrote 'Light Up the World'?"
"I did," Emma said.
"He almost left that night," Finn said.
"What," Emma said.
"Tina asked him to take a look at what she had written. Will read it and walked out of the room. I followed him," Finn said, "I found him in the stairwell looking at a picture of you on his phone. It's still there…you should sneak a look. It's from my sophomore year. Anyway, he was just sitting there looking at that picture, crying. I've never seen a grown man cry before. I knew then that it was okay for me to cry, anytime I needed to. He told me that he couldn't do it. He couldn't stay there when all he wanted to be was with you."
"Wow, um," she said looking back at the house, "He never told me that he tried to leave that night."
"Yeah," Finn said, "He told me to hold the fort so that he could…well I'll let him tell you the rest. The point is, he came back. He loves you so much that he came back. I honestly thought that after everything, Rachel would too."
"Did you ask her to stay," Emma asked, "that was another mistake that I made. I wanted him to stay so badly but I told him to go. I wanted him to fulfill his dream, after all I did to him he deserved that much. I hurt him so badly for nearly a year that even though I wanted him to stay, I didn't think I deserved for him too."
"He said you were a lot to lose," Finn said.
"So was he," Emma said, "and so are you Finn."
"Tell that to Rachel," Finn muttered.
"I think she already knows that," Emma said, "Look, I may not be up to speed on things because I know how much you look to Will for advice. You have worked so hard for so long to find your place in the world. And Finn, you are so good at what you do. You're going to be an excellent teacher, whether it is at McKinley or another school."
"I really don't want to go to New York," Finn said, "this is my home. Everything I want and love is here, except her."
"I know," she said sympathetically.
"When did you know that Will was the only one for you," Finn asked after a few minutes of silence.
"It was love at first sight," Emma said, "I knew that he was my soul mate but I also knew that he was very married. If I couldn't be his wife then I was determined to be his friend because that was just as important."
"I've always admired the fact that you are always there for each other," Finn said.
"We weren't always," she said, "when I started seeing Carl, I withdrew. I thought that I had blown it with Will. I accused him of a few things thanks to Sue and her hatred for him. So I focused on Carl but Will hung in there. He was ready to pick up the pieces in case things fell apart."
"Then you married him," Finn said.
"Then I married him," she said tearing up at the memory, "and Will fell apart. I'll never as long as I live and even though we're happily married and starting a family now…I will never forget the look on his face when I told him what I had done."
"You don't have to say anymore if you don't want to," Finn said, "I know what happened after he left your office that day. I've never seen a man cry like that before."
"I tried calling him, texting him, emailing him," she continued without acknowledging that Finn already knew what she had only recently learned, "I even went over to his house but he didn't answer the door. He completely detached himself from me. It was my fault and I know why he did it but I never felt emptier in my life than I did when he wasn't speaking to me. It's crazy to think that marrying the wrong person just confirms how much you love the right one."
"It was when Miss Holiday came around that things started to change again, right," he asked.
"Yes. She had the nerve to ask the question I didn't dare ask myself. She was so blunt about it too," Emma said, "she asked me if I was still in love with Will. Instead of coming right out and saying that I was still in love with him, I said I was confused. I learned you have to be very careful with that word because in many circumstances confused means yes."
"She was the one who told him that you were still in love with him, right," he asked.
"Yes. She also pointed out to Will that he was still in love with me," Emma said, "she saw him helping me with my OCD shortly after Carl left. She said it was so obvious that she had to do something and that was to bring us back together. And then I screwed up again and told him to go to New York. I even helped him pack. Thank god he came home."
"What did you do when he got back from nationals," Finn asked timidly.
"Well, we quickly decided that it was all or nothing," Emma said, "we had to be completely honest with each other about everything, no matter how much what we had to say hurt. So that night, we stopped by the video store, rented a ton of movies, stopped by the grocery store and stocked up, ran by my condo and picked up a few things and we locked ourselves in his apartment. We turned our cell phones off and declared ourselves completely unavailable until we got things sorted out. You know what? I slept better that first night than I had in over a year. I was so tired, so tired of running away from the one thing that made my world light up. The next thing I knew I was asking if I could move in with him and we were packing up the condo. "
"Do you think that Rachel and I need to do that," Finn asked.
"Yes."
"I really do love her," Finn said nodding. He understood what she was telling him, "but I love what I'm doing too."
"You can have both but you're going to have to sit down and talk this out like the adults you are now," Emma said, "you've got to come up with some sort of compromise and perhaps even consider a long distance relationship which is hard but doable. And if you really want to make things work…then you've both got to be willing to do your part. Let it be known though, I am not advocating you lock yourselves up in a motel room and sort this out. I wouldn't be a very good counselor if I did that. Find some neutral territory and talk it through. The good, the bad and the ugly. You're not going to be able to move in any direction if you don't."
"Do you think she's happy in New York," Finn asked.
"Honestly," Emma said looking over at him, "no. She misses you too much."
"I went to see one of their performances," he said quietly. "I didn't tell anyone I was going but Kurt got word that I was there. I can't tell Burt anything without him passing it along to Kurt. She looked so at home on that stage, like she belonged there."
"But," Emma said encouraging him to continue when she sensed he had more to say.
"But," Finn said, "there was sadness in her eyes."
"I think I know why," Emma said, "it's because she sings for you. She might be happy on the stage but she's lost without you. Just like you're at home learning to teach in a classroom but lost without her. Finn, the road to the Emerald City might not be made of yellow bricks but you'll get there and when you do, you'll realize that there's no place like home. Rachel is your home."
"You're going to make a great mom," Finn said hugging her, "you know that, right?"
"I hope so."
