CHAPTER 3

"I HATE YOU! You MONSTER of a daughter! Why God ever plagued me such an ANIMAL is BEYOND ME! I'm GLAD your mother killed herself! JEALOUS EVEN! WHY'D THE BITCH LEAVE WITHOUT YOU? I MIGHT AS WELL KILL YOU MYSELF!"

"Leiko? Where're you going? Why are you leaving me?"

"But you ALWAYS run away when YOU get SCARED! WHAT ABOUT ME? Aren't I aloud to be SCARED?"

"NO! NO! I don't CARE what you THOUGHT! There's a BOND! A BOND! You will NEVER be able to LEAVE! NEVER! YOU ARE A SOHMA! YOU WILL ALWAYS STAY! YOU HAVE TO! YOU. DON'T. HAVE. A. CHOICE!"

Leiko jerked awake. It was two in the morning. The hotel room smelled of fresh laundry and leftover food. She was clutching her silk sheets in complete fear. Beads of sweat were streaming down her face as she squinted into the darkness. She gulped a few times and took a deep breath. It came out as a jagged gasp. The voices…the nightmares…they weren't made-up fears. They were drawn from her subconscious-from actual memories that she'd tried so hard to forget. She closed her eyes and curled her body around the hotel pillow. Her shirt hung sloppily on the headboard. She reached out in the darkness and drew it into her chest. She breathed in and could still smell him. It made her hate herself.

She decided to try and get some sleep, not that it would do her much. Why would she want to put herself back into her merciless mind? Because he's always there… She thought to herself, trying to force a smile. It didn't last long. Before she could do anything to defend herself, she was right back into the last nightmare.

Akito was yelling at her in a dark room. It was their conversation from the day before. It had started out civil, but that had ended with "Hello". Now, Akito was punching her and screaming his head off. He wouldn't settle down and Leiko couldn't wake up. It was official. She was back to a place she once was forced to called "Home".


The next morning, Leiko made a trip out to the post office to mail a letter to her boss about how she was planning on spending a little more time there than she had planned. She needed to make amends and was still curious about the Honda girl. The previous night at ice cream hadn't given her much information since Shigure had blabbed the entire time. Today, however, Akito had called for another "visit". Leiko didn't like what he'd grown up to be. It was so weird that she had babysat such a monster when she was a teenager. To think that she had taught such a monster his basic kanji characters and math!

She rented a car for the week and drove down to Sohma House. She made her way through the main gate and walked up to the Main House. The maids eyed her suspiciously as she walked passed them and towards Akito's door. She took a deep breath, flashbacks from the previous day hitting her mind like a train as she opened it. She slipped inside and closed the door behind her. Akito was standing as still as a rock by the open window. His frigid stance changed when he heard her come in. His head turned, slightly and his eyes fixated on her as she stood straighter and taller than ever.

"Leiko."

How could he sound so calm after being so angry the day before? That was Akito for you. Always bipolar, always a mess. Just like his mother. Akira had always been so level headed and kind. It was amazing how wrong he's gone with reproducing.

Leiko bowed. "Akito."

It was silent. She stood awkwardly across the room. Akito barely looked at her as a smile crept across his cheek. That was never a good sign. Leiko was suddenly itching to be free of his daunting gravity. She kept her eyes on him as he moved ever-so slowly towards a single chair at the back on the room, like the royal room of a palace where an emperor or king would sit majestically in his robes and scepter. However, the "King" of the Sohma house merely wore a man's kimono and uncombed hair. He snapped his vision towards her and narrowed his eyes.

"Well, come in."

"I-"

"All the way in." he snapped.

Leiko tried to hold her head high, but it was as if her mind was disconnected from her body as it lay limp on her shoulders. Her legs shaky, she approached the Head of the House. Akito scrutinized her. "Quit your job."

"What?" she snapped, surprised.

"Quit. Your. Job." Akito repeated, slowly, his eyes unmoving.

"I-I…" Leiko closed her eyes. "Why?"

Akito blinked. "Why? Because I told you to and you should start listening to me more often." he retorted, coolly. "That's why."

"You want me to quit my job out by the bay and leave my whole life just because you told me to?" Leiko coughed. "I can't do that!"

"Sure you can. You've done so once before."

Leiko stuttered. "I-I…I did that out of confusion, hurt, and betrayal. Not because someone told me to."

Akito approached her, menacingly. "Would you like me to confuse, hurt, and betray you?" he hissed, coldly. "Would that convince you?"

Leiko took a deep breath. "I know that you would never betray me, Akito." she looked him in the eye. "Your father never did."

Akito drew a sharp breath, eyes flashing. "Go chat with Hatori," he barked. "I know you're just itching to talk to someone other than me!"

Leiko gulped. "I actually don't want to talk to anyone right now." she murmured.

"Well than you better crawl back to your hotel room, huh?" he seethed.

Leiko was quiet, but nodded and started walking towards the door. "Do you still want me to quit my job?"

"Why would you ask … a stupid question like that?" Akito asked in a pretentious tone.

Blushing, Leiko nodded and scurried out. As soon as she was in the hallway and away from Akito, she walked straight up to the nearest wall and rammed her fist through it. It was surprisingly thin and her hand went through into the other room. She quickly withdrew it, looking sheepish as Hatori walked up and looked at her through the hole in the wall. She ran away before he could come back.


"Kyo."

Kyo looked up from his miso soup at Shigure who was at the head of the table. He casually swallowed his food and narrowed his eyes. "What?"

Yuki took a deep breath. "Oh boy…"

Kyo threw him a look. "You got something to say you damn rat?"

Tohru suddenly got up. "I'm going to fix us some dessert." she murmured, using any excuse to get away from the quarrel uprising. She jumped to her feet and quickly scurried away. Shigure slurped his sake. "Don't start breaking anything else, kiddies, I just wanted to know if little Kyo-Kyo will ever grow up?"

Kyo glared at him. "Shigure, you know I hate that name!"

"I don't understand why," Yuki sneered. "It's just you're name said two times fast, what's so wrong about that?"

"Oh yeah, Yuki-Yuki?" Kyo retorted.

Shigure shook his head. "No, I'm afraid 'Yuki-Yuki' doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well as 'Kyo-Kyo' does! Remind me of Tokyo for some reason…hey! We should start calling you Tokyo-kyo!"

They could hear Tohru giggle from the kitchen. Kyo slammed his fist on the table. "Shut up!"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. They all sat there, staring with mixed emotions at each other while Tohru answered the visitor. Kyo looked like he was going to slug Shigure, while Yuki looked amused. Tohru came into the room with Hatori, smiling. "Look who's here!" she chimed, happily.

Shigure flicked Kyo on the forehead and stood up. "Tori! What brings you here this fine evening?"

Kyo, rubbing his forehead, mumbled, "Yeah, no one's sick or anything."

Tohru walked into the kitchen saying, "You're always welcome, Hatori!"

He smiled. "Thank Miss Honda."

Yuki stood up. "I'm sorry, Hatori, but I have to go finish my homework up in my room."

Kyo grunted as he stood up to, but he walked out without an excuse. The two adults didn't seem to mind. Tohru was finishing up the dishes when Shigure closed the door connecting the kitchen and dining room. "So, what's on your mind, Tori?"

"You know that Leiko's in town, right?"

Shigure sat down across from him. "Yes. I do. She's already visited us." he chuckled. "Took us out for desserts and everything! Why? Should I be worried she's back? She only came to meet Tohru."

Hatori gave him a stern look. "Surely you don't think that that's the only reason she came back after five years." Shigure stared blankly at him, so Hatori went on. "Sure, she may tell herself that that's the only reason, but she couldn't stay away from Akito any longer."

Shigure's eyes widened and he sighed in understanding. "Literally." he added.

Hatori nodded. "She's made it clear that she'd rather be in hell than here, believe me."

Shigure chuckled. "And yet she seemed so civil when she was here…"

Hatori gave him a look. "What would you expect? You have company." he pointed out.

"Tohru? She's not 'company', she's…part of the household!"

"She's an outsider, Shigure. At least to Lei-Lei."

Shigure suddenly smiled and leaned back against the wall. "You still call her Lei-Lei?" he asked. There was an awkward pause as Hatori's cheeks slightly colored. Shigure chuckled. "Hey, we all have been dying to say her name again for years. Why not? We all loved her. Her escape was tragically earth shattering for everyone! Including Kyo."

Hatori narrowed his eyes at Shigure for a moment, but asked, "How did Kyo react to her sudden reappearance?"

"Like a child," Shigure said, simply. "How else?"

Hatori sighed. "I don't really blame him. It took all my own strength to be civil with her." he muttered. There was a short pause before he looked up at Shigure. Something in his eyes told him all he needed to know.

Shigure nodded, his face scrunched up in sympathy. "How nice was she?"

Hatori stood up. "Like nothing happened." he answered, tartly. "Well, I just came over to tell you that she smashed her fist through my office."

Shigure nearly fell over laughing. "She did, did she? That's hysterical! Well, at least we know there's some emotion inside her!"

Hatori nodded. "I better leave. Didn't tell Akito where I was going."

Before he walked out, Shigure suddenly asked, "She called you snow again, didn't she." it wasn't a question. Merely a statement needing approval.

Hatori didn't answer him. He was already out the door.


"What are you doing?"

Leiko looked up to see Haru leaning against the fence. She was in the local park, underneath a large oak tree. She blinked and stared at him for awhile before stumbling to her feet. "H-Hatsuharu!" she stuttered. "It's great to see you again!"

He shrugged, staying where he was. "Sorta knew you'd come back sooner or later, but five years is a long time."

Leiko stared at the gravel by feet, blankly. "Yeah…it is."

"So…what are you doing?"

Leiko looked up. "Huh? I'm just sitting here. Or was…why?"

"Can't I guy wonder what his cousin's doing under a tree looking all sad and depressed?"

"Well, it isn't exactly a brain teaser, Haru."

"Sure, but I wanted to hear the truth. Not real big on accusations."

Leiko chuckled, humorlessly. "Yeah, I remember that." There was a long moment where the two stared at their shoes. Leiko sighed and sat back down, closing her eyes. "Yeah…"

Haru walked over to her and sat down too. "What's up?"

"Who sent you here?" she snapped.

Haru leaned back on his hands, his head tilted and his eyes closed as he took in a sun beam. "Nobody." He was lying. Leiko could always tell when people were lying. Especially those of the Zodiac, with whom she shared a special bond.

She rolled her eyes, though, ignoring it. "So how old are you now? Sixteen?"

"Subtract one."

Leiko nodded. "So you and Momiji are going into high school, huh? That should be exciting." she paused. "Geez, and to think Momiji is that old already…he still looks like he's eight!" she chuckled. "God, I love that kid."

Haru nodded back. "He told me you were here, actually."

Leiko looked over at him, curiously. "Really? How did he know?"

"He saw you on his walk home from his dad's building. Tohru Honda works there, you know."

Leiko made a face. "She doesn't earn enough as Shigure's slave?" she remarked, dryly.

"She doesn't work for Shigure. She just serves them and cleans after them because it's how she figures she can 'pay for' her room and board, but in reality, Shigure would let her live there for free." Haru explained.

"Why doesn't she stop it, then?"

"Because Miss Honda…she's the kind of person who's so considerate, honorable, and… always thinking of others. I don't think she has a single thought in that head about herself." he paused, his eyes softening at the dirt. "I admire that about her. She also makes Yuki happy. She's the reason Yuki and Kyo don't draw blood every time they see each other."

Leiko nodded, remembering her surprise. "Last time I was there, when I'd walked in, they were sitting at the table…arguing…just arguing…civilly, you know? The room was calmer." she smiled, closing her eyes. "It was nice. Too good to be true!"

Haru chuckled. "Yeah, that's what I always think when I go over there. I'm always wondering if it'll last or if one of them, most likely Kyo, will snap and kill the other!"

She sighed. "Yeah, that always happened."

There was a silence.

"So it's that girl?" Leiko asked, quietly. "It hasn't been simmering down since I left?"

Haru suddenly looked into her eyes. "Actually, it had gotten worse before Miss Honda came into the picture. Right after you'd left, Kyo ran away. He'd come back, but not for long. Finally he went away for a good while with Sensei to the mountains. About year or two almost. It was supposed to be good for him, but…"

Leiko nodded in understanding. "He came back with more consent to beat Yuki than ever before. Yeah, I know." she shook her head, chuckling humorlessly. "He was always trying to beat Yuki."

"Foolish, really," Haru scoffed.

Leiko furrowed her brow as she glanced at him. "Not really. Kyo...he always would tell me how mad it made him. That whatever he did, or tried to do, he'd never be perfect or even close to right, but Yuki was always above and beyond. Now, Yuki's the rat. He can't help that. He's just naturally gifted with such traits, but Kyo couldn't handle it. And the stupid story didn't help either, especially with people's views on him. They thought Kyo was 'slow' and 'dim' because he was the cat." she clenched her fist. "No one even got to know him, but they all wanted to know Yuki. Kyo tried and tried, but it was no use. Even with martial arts, Kyo couldn't beat him."

Haru stared at her, his mouth slightly gaped, before smiling at her. "Kyo really need you. I know that that's the last thing you need to hear, but I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. You should feel proud. Kyo wouldn't have kept trying if it weren't for you." he paused. "You lit a spark of hope in him that never fully burned out."

She smiled, but couldn't keep it long. What she'd done to Kyo was extremely selfish and unforgiveable. She couldn't bare herself to face him again when she thought about it and it made her hate herself even more. She slunk down into the base of the tree trunk and tucked her head in between her legs. No tears escaped her eyes, however. Tears hadn't fallen in years from her stone cold eyes. Her body shook violently in attempt to create the proper reaction, but it didn't work. Haru rubbed her back, understandably, waiting out for her to calm.

"We've missed you, Lei-Lei," he whispered. "No matter what you've told yourself, we love you. No matter what you've done to us or what you've done to yourself…we all love you."