Uuh hey y'all 14 people who have read this story.

I do it for you

Actually I do it for me, all for me

-nodnod-

Ash

Previously in this story that has a really long name and I can't be bothered typing it here, even though by typing this instead it ends up being about three times as long but shut up and read the story

--

'I'm sorry Fuery, I can't marry you because I'm in love with Havoc!'

'What? But Havoc is the one you're supposed to leave for Roy'

'Yeah! You're not supposed to wanna be with me! You're supposed to get with Roy...'

'what? Did someone call me twice? Do I need to steal a girl off havoc?'

'no, that's not necessary'

'I can get with Roy if it is necessary...'

'What? Wait! What? What am I saying! Stay with me, we'll get married and eat frogurt'

'ok!'

Yeah I lied, that only happened in Havoc's dreams. Here's what actually happened:

'I'm sorry Fuery, I can't marry you because... I'M IN LOVE WITH ARMSTRONG!'

Ok. That's just disturbing.

Here's what actually happened:

'I'm sorry Havoc, I can't marry you because... I'M IN LOVE WITH BROSH!'

'oh that's cool.'

'yes I am serious! We've secretly been dating for two months and I know it hurts now but soon you'll find someone really special... wait did you just say that was ok?'

'yeah, I hope you two are happy. You really deserve it'

'for cereal?'

'yeah. I've decided not to get upset when a girl rejects me. I'm kinda used to it now. Besides I've been having an affair with a rhinoceros for a while now.'

'uuh... that's really cool and all but...'

'Hey y'all! Ross here to move the plot foreword and end all awkward moments!'

'oh thank god'

'believe me, god had nothing to do with it babe'

'when did Jiraiya get here?'

'oh he came with me'

'uuh Ross you do realize that he is a sexual predator who likes to watch girls bathe?'

'yeah, he makes me feel pretty'

'THIS SCENE IS REMINDING ME OF EPIOSDE 37, IN THAT IT IS SERIOUSLY LACKING TE SEXY EDWARD AND ALPHONSE ELRIC!'

'go away random Ed and Al fangirl'

'did someone say Ed fangirl?'

'OMG! ITS MY ED-MUFFIN!'

'I said Ed AND Al fangirl'

'AL TO THE RESCUE!'

'OMG! IT'S MY AL-BOX!'

'oh i'll be your Al-box allright, lets go play'

'can someone get her out of here?'

'yeah him too'

'but she's hot!'

'I thought you loved me!!'

'uuh...'

'Jiraiya, just go back to Naruto'

'Okiedokey'

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'

'Ross! Never fear! I shall be your knight in shining armour! I will stand by you! I could stay lost in this moment forever, because every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure! And I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep! Coz id miss you babe, and I don't wanna miss a thing! And even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you babe, and I don't wanna miss a thing!'

'gosh Brosh, that was beautiful...'

'dude that totally rhymed!'

'hey it did!'

'high-five!'

'no'

'was it just me or did Brosh's poem sound slightly familiar...'

'oh thanks Brosh, you're such a great pal and partner you know?'

'sweatdrop'

'Sexy-sweatdrop'

'suit-of-armour-style-sweatdrop'

'sexier-than-Ed's-sweatdrop'

'desperate-sweatdrop'

'cry'

'grin'

Um yeah you'd probably like me to get on with it now.

So here's what actually really truly happened in the last episode.

I mean chapter.

Wait didn't you read the last chapter?

Oh well

Here's the final like, sentence...

When Ed woke up there was a cat sleeping on his head.

He chucked the cat the other side of the room, it landed with as thud

He quickly checked the date on his little calendar, Thursday October 16th.

NOT AGAIN

NOW WE CAN BEGIN!

--

Ed decided he was going crazy.

What the hell kept happening?

Why did the day keep restarting?

Why the hell did he actually have that braid?

Could he stand to lose a few?

Would that make him grow?

Was there any way to make him grow?

Was there any way he could force al to shrink?

Was there a way to for EVERYONE to shrink?

And if he DID do that, would he then be that one freakishly tall person?

Would that be better than that short guy?

Was he actually the short guy?

Could he possibly find someone shorter but older?

Maybe some kind of midget..?

Could you find any midgets in this part of the world?

Maybe a leprechaun?

Maybe some kind of midget-leprechaun?

And for that matter, where the hell was he in the world?

Was he even in the world?

Could you buy canned bread in this world?

Why was he asking about this world, he lives in this world!

Will he die now, coz that last question was actually a statement?

Why do you sometimes put exclamation marks t the end of statements?

Why not put a question mark?

I enjoy cheese?

Did he actually enjoy cheese?

Could you even buy cheese in this world?

Were there cows in this world?

No there must be cows coz they had a tractor!

Maybe the tractor was for sheep?

Why would they have sheep and not cows?

No they would have to have sheep or else they'd have no wool!

They'd also have to have cows, or else where would they get the leather?

Why the hell did everyone wear leather?

Why the hell was he wearing leather?

He supposed it made him look sexy.

He looked in the mirror and liked what he saw

Oh yeah, who's hotter out of me and Roy? Me... Definitely me

Back on track!

Ed thought long and hard but only managed to get an answer for one of the questions.

Why did he have a braid?

It just got in the way and made him considerably less sexy.

Wait a second; didn't he have something to do?

THE LETTER!

But how would he do it?

He would complete it soon...

But if he sends it via post-box it won't arrive in Dogtown for at least a week.

Why not an email?

He realized that he didn't have a computer

But Al did...

He quickly ran to the kitchen, only tripping three times on various cats

--

Al was busy watching his favourite anime about buskers.

'Notice how I'm not even using my sharinguitar? You're obviously not much competition dobe'

'Grr I'll teach you! RECORDENGAN!'

'CHIDORUMSS!'

They sent both of their attacks full speed towards each other at full impact, it surely would have been fatal if their sensei hadn't intervened.

But sadly we may never know how that fight concluded, because Ed sadly chose that moment to come hurtling through the room, sadly having just tripped on a cat. Sadly.

'you really oughta be more careful where you step brother! You might hurt one of my cats.'

'is it just me or do you seem to have more cats each day?'

'no brother you're being silly, of course it isn't just you! I'm always getting more cats'

'...'

'what is it brother?'

'nothing... can I borrow your laptop?'

'of course not brother, what do you need it for?'

'I need to send a very important email to the lord of Dogtown regarding the cup holders in his cinemas'

'wow brother, that is an important mission'

'I know, now may I borrow your laptop?'

'yaoi no'

'and why the yaoi not?'

'because you might break it'

'what? Me? Break your laptop? Who is the elegant one here?'

'do you really want me to answer that?'

'not really... but... please?'

'no'

'please?'

'no brother'

'please?'

'no brother'

'please'

'no brother'

'please'

'no brother'

'no brother'

'you're a yaoi-head brother'

'fine. I'm calling Winry'

'what?! Why brother?'

'because maybe she can make you let me use your laptop'

'what makes you think that?'

'coz its kinda obvious that you are madly in love with her'

'uuh.. you are too brother'

'no actually I'm getting with Colonel Mustang I mean.. yes I am totally heterosexual and lusting for Winry. I'm gonna go call her'

--

Ed got off the phone to Winry, who said she would be there in ten minutes.

How the hell she was gonna get from Risenbool to central in just ten minutes he had no idea.

But Ed and Al decided to watch the anime show about buskers until she got there.

The emo guy was currently tied to a tree by their sensei and was getting a stern lecture against his will.

'That is not the type of attack you use on a team-mate emo guy!'

'Why the yaoi don't you use my name?'

'coz I don't want to. Wanna fight about it?'

'sure! I'll take you on!'

'HA nice try buddy, but you're tied to a tree and completely at my mercy'

'god, what is it with all the old guys wanting to get with me in this show?'

'I dunno, you are fair sexy'

'yeah I guess' the emo guy does classic (but sexy) emo swish of hair

'goddammit! Stop it! I'm trying to lecture you!'

'fine' the emo guy stops flicking his hair, to the disappointment of many fangirls.

DING DONG

'that must be Winry, go get the door brother'

'why don't you get it?'

Al gave Ed his classic Alphonse Deathstare™

'or I could, you know. Not an issue'

Ed got up and answered the door; as soon as he did he was greeted with a glomp from Winry.

'hey Winry! Just wondering, how the hell did you get here so fast?'

'I used my magical superfast jetplane (1) that I set up underground, so I could come and see you more often!'

'uuh... sounds great' said Ed, not really sure what the yaoi she was on about

'anyways, where's my Al-box!?'

'what's with the Al-box thing?'

'just my new nickname brother, I'm like an Xbox. But better. Hey Winry, wanna go play..?'

'Al you're like ten...'

'Ed, Al just turned 14... And he's taller than you...'

Ed proceeded to cry in his emo corner.

Yeah i know, a little bit out of character but everyone makes him say something like:

'WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE GETS EATEN BY ANTEATER ANTS WHO MISTAKE HIM FOR THE TINY TINY ANTS THAT ANTEATER ANTS EAT THAT ARE SO SMALL THAT PEOPLE CONFUSE THEM FOR SPECKS AND GLARE AT THEM FOR NO REASON BUT THEY ARE STUPID AND WISH TO EAT BUTTERCUPS OR THEY WILL DIE OF MALNUTRITION, THAT WOULDNT BE THAT HARD TO FIX BECAUSE EVERYBODY KNWS THAT REMOTES ARE USED TO TURN ON ELECTRICAL EQUIPMENT OR DEVISES BUT CAN ALSO BE USED TO TURN THEM OFF OR CHANGE THE CHANNEL BUT NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS AND WHY DONT PEOPLE LISTEN WHEN I RANT PEOPLE REALLY OUGHTA HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR THEIR ELDERS WELL NOT EXACLTY ELDER COZ IM YOUNGER THEN YOU BUT I KEEP MY MONEY IN A MONEY BOX WELL ITS NOT EXACLTY A MONEY BOX BUT A CUP AND ITS NOT EXACLTY A CUP BUT A MUG AND ITS NOT EXACLTY A MUG COZ ITS A PLASTIC BAG BUT IT DOESNT MATTER ALL THAT MUCH BECUASE ELEPHANTS WILL STILL TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!'

See why I decided to give him an emo corner instead?

Anyways Al was being a pimp, Ed was being Emo and Winry was being clueless.

What else is new?

ANYWAYS

Back to the story

'ok Winry the whole reason I called you here today is because Al won't let me use his computer, can you make him?'

'Al will you let Ed use your laptop?'

'Of course'

Ed stared at him in shock

'WTY!? WHY COULDN'T I USE IT BEFORE!!'

'because you didn't say please brother'

'dude I said please like fifty times!!'

'well obviously not loud enough coz I didn't hear you properly'

Ed huffed (and puffed and blewwwwwwwwwwww the house down!) and took the ruby red laptop to try and send an email.

This led us to his next dilemma.

What should he say?

He decided to try something:

--

Dear Lord of Dogtown,

My name Is Edward Elric and I am a state alchemist from whatever country I come from, I am sending this email because you do not have enough cup holders in your cinemas.

Sincerely Ed.

--

Ed decided that this was terrible and not forefull enough, he needed to scare them but not enough to scare them away

He suddenly had an idea:

--

Yo Lord of Dogtown,

My name is Ed. I am a teenaged state alchemist. I am full of mutiny and rebelliousness. I wag school, binge drink and have no respect for my elders, obey me or I will be forced to unleash my teenage angst on you. Grr. Have a nice day!

Sincerely the Full Metal Alchemist

--

Ed decided that this wasn't any good either and that he really oughta go ask what Riza thinks he should say.

He walked out to the sitting room where Al and Winry were playing cards.

'I use my ace of diamonds to fuse my jack of clubs and my king of hearts to make A QUEEN OF SPADES! THEN I CAN ATTACK YOU DIRECTLY!'

'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH'

'um... guys? I'm just going out to see Riza, I'm taking the laptop by the way'

'no problem brother'

Ed walked out the front door into the crisp spring air.

It felt so good that he wanted to sing.

'I'm siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinging in the rain! Just siiiiiiiiiiining in the rain!'

Well he did sing that song until someone chucked a beer bottle at his head.

'FINE!' he shouted 'I'LL SING SOMETHING WITH BETTER TASTE!'

'MY ALCHEMY BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO MY HOME!

AND THEY'RE LIKE, THE PHILOSIPHERS STONE?

DAMN RIGHT! I'M LOOKING FOR IT!

I COULD GIVE YOU A LEAD, BUT I DONT WANT TO'

'That's much better' said the random guy with a beer bottle. Which on closer inspection Ed discovered it was Scar.

'Oh hey Scar! How's life going?'

'Oh you know, same old same old. Killing all state alchemists'

'oh really? I recently became one again, just on my way over to see Riza right now...'

He was cut off by scar using his Ultimate Arm Of Ultimate Supremecy™ on him.

Which exploded him from the inside quickly and painlessly.

Scar then casually walked away.

Jordan then appeared and was totally PISSED.

He was so angry that I'm not even gonna bother censoring it.

He sighed and then he once again clapped his hands three times, spun around in a circle and broke into a rousing chorus of 'the longest time'

Resetting the day once again.

--

When Ed woke up there was a cat sleeping on his head.

He chucked the cat the other side of the room, it landed with a THUD

He quickly checked the date on his little calendar, Thursday October 16th.

He quickly used alchemy (without a circle, oooooooooh) to inflict more pain upon the cat.

'MOTHER YAOIING FATHER OF YAOIING YAOI WITH A YAOI YAOI CROATON MONK THAT YAOIS WITH A YAOI ON A YAOI THAT YAOI'S MORE THAN A YAOIING YAOI THAT HAS JUST YAOIED ALL OVER HIS DESK THAT IS YAOIED OUT OF YAOI!'

--

(1) Hehe a little inside joke with my friend...