I own nothing not even this computer, please remember to read and review. Sorry if the chapter isn't super interesting.
"Okay so first of all I have to point out that your room smells fantastic." Alix said as that wandered up the stairs and through the trapdoor set in the Dupain-Cheng household. She was correct of course, it smelt like butter, flour, sugar and all other sorts of deliciousness that went into creating baked goods in the bakery below. Marinette was lucky enough to live on the top floor, all of the smells traveled upwards. Her room always smelt delicious.
She was also able to tell whatever it was her parents were working on that day be it quiche, cookies or scones.
"Oh, thank you? I haven't really noticed." Marinette said surprised, living above the bakery had dampened her sense of smell, she really couldn't smell anything from living above it for so long.
"Seriously mine just smells like BO." Alix said before plopping down onto Marinette's swooning couch and propped her feet up. "Okay so I guess we're going to start now."
"Start...what exactly again?" Alya said suspiciously as she took Marinette's swivel chair, leaving the actual host to stand awkwardly and hover between her two guests.
"Her training, we need her to be in tiptop shape, I don't want her to embarrass herself. Or me, specifically me. Basically I want to see your flirting and then I tell you what you're doing right or wrong." Alix said straightforwardly. Marinette opened and closed her mouth, unsure how to take the backhanded comment. She was used to this sort of stuff from Chloe...or Sabrina, but coming from someone like Alix? It was very unexpected. Alix noticed her shocked expression and she tried to soften her features.
She actually sat instead of lounge and cupped her hands together, she gave a little smile and took off her favorite hat. "Okay yeah sorry, that was out of line. I just want to help you out here Marinette. This means a lot to me...and I want to also help you out with your own little problem. So just show me how you flirt, I want to know what I'm working with here."
Alya narrowed her eyes and studied Alix, the girl was clearly hiding something from the two of them. Alya had just joined in with them in the hopes of keeping her from taking advantage of Marinette's naturally good personality. Marinette stood nervously fiddling with her fingertips before smiling.
"I well don't exactly know what you mean by flirting 'style' I don't really flirt you see. I just sort of-" She cut herself off and waved her hands around and fluttered her fingers, she stuck her tongue out and puffed out her cheeks. "I just sort of blah!"
"Oh my God I am doomed." Alix said softly knuckling her forehead. Her eyes hardened and she stood back up. She paced around Marinette making little judgmental hums and clicking her tongue. "Okay so that idea is out."
"Uh what idea?" Marinette said nervously trying to spin around to keep Alix in her sight, it was like being in a cage with a puma. The girl was dangerous for her size.
"Your hips aren't big enough to be used as a distraction tactic like Alya's. So that's out."
"Excuse you?" Alya said resting her hands angrily on her hips. Marinette just squeaked and blushed covering her face embarrassed at her still relatively childish figure.
"Look I'm just being honest here. You own it."
"You really do own it Alya."
"I would murder people for hips like yours."
"They are not that big!" Alya said grasping her hips and suddenly looking down critically. "Whatever, stop talking about my sides and lets instead focus on Marinette."
"I don't know I sort of want to keep the spotlight off of me here." Marinette said holding her hands up defensively.
"Come on! Let's give back handed compliments about how insanely cute you are!" Alya said wrapping her arm around Marinette's shoulders and pulling their foreheads close together. Smiling devilishly. Alix pretend to gag before she grinned and chuckled deep in her throat.
"Okay so you don't really flirt with folks...I of all people should know, I've seen you trip up over Adrien all the time. So let's just say you're a blank slate for now." She looked over Marinette again and thought, she could try the big gun, that always seemed to work.
"Alright Marinette this date is pretty big and important. So I think that maybe you should try out flirting techniques tomorrow in school, experiment a few times, get comfy and then we move you up to the night. How does that sound?"
"You keep on forgetting to mention what she's going to do flirting wise. I've been schooling the girl forever and she doesn't seem to be able to get anything down." Alya said honestly. Alix smiled devilishly.
"That's because you've been doing it your way. Nice, sweet, slow. Little gifts and the stuff. You've been trying to be subtle. Marinette listen up and listen well." Alix pointed aggressively in Marinette's face causing her to squeak and stand at attention. She imagined that she was a new recruit in boot camp, head shaved, shoulders back, chin up and jaw tight. Alix was her drill sergeant with a Napoleon complex, marching around in an oversized hat and shouting encouragement and insults at her to frighten her and toughen her up.
Alya could be her cheerleader in a fancy yellow and orange outfit that showed off her to die for hips. Did boot camp have cheerleaders? More guys would probably enlist if there were cheerleaders.
Alix began to pace and wave her arms around. The normally laid back girl had turned into an excitable little gerbil.
"Guys are dumb! Like really super dumb! Just complete block heads! Totally incapable of picking up on subtlety. So we're going to skip that, being subtle is out the window! You are no longer cute, quiet, oddly sexy in a certain light Marinette!"
"Wait did you just say in a certain light?" Alix pointed her finger directly in Marinette's face so suddenly that she fell again. She rubbed her stinging posterior and looked up at Alix, she was much more intimidating when she was above her.
"What I said recruit is that you are going to transition. You've been stuck in your cocoon for too long! Now you're going to pop out like a wasp! A wasp that will get everyones attention! Including blonde boys! You are straight up going to have him drooling from the palm of your hand! Then tomorrow night you're going to go on a date and charm the pants off of a guy!"
"I think I'm a little young for that Alix." Alix opened her mouth to argue before she realized what she had just said. Her face turned as bright pink as her hair and she realized that she had been shouting. Marinette's parents had probably heard the crazed girl shouting from their daughter's room. Alya just stood staring, amusement mixed with fear in her face.
"Girl..."
"Yeah I might have gone a little over the-"
"You fell well into the deep end there. You were drowning in it." Alix scowled and cracked her neck. "Fine fine, I'll be nice. But this is still going to be intense, I need you to be perfect by the time tomorrow night rolls around. And we only have today to cover the basics and tomorrow to try it out." Marinette shrunk back into the corner, she wished that she could turn into a small gray mouse with black pigtails and run away and hide forever.
"Okay then." Alya sighed and rubbed her eyes. "My new job is going to be making sure that Alix doesn't kill you."
"That! Is actually a really good idea. We are probably going to need a spotter for some of the more physically taxing stuff."
"Spotter?" Marinette whispered confused and concerned. She wasn't sure she was going to survive this thing.
"Okay you little nutcase what are you planning this time?" Alya aggressively whispered into Alix's ear. The two were watching Marinette balance precariously on her swivel chair. An apple in one hand, a pound cake in the other. Eight textbooks balanced on her head and one leg sticking out like a ballerina, she was gazing up at the ceiling and making little worried notes of concern as she continued to shift her weight.
"I just wanted to see if she would do it. Pretty funny huh?" Alix said sadistically as she watched the process with a blank face. The only signs of amusement were in the crinkles around her eyes.
"No not that...well okay yeah this is hilarious in a psychologically traumatizing sort of way. What are you doing going on a date...and why is she roped up into this? It's not your style." Alix looked at the girl on the chair and then the girl next to her. She grabbed Alya by the shoulder and pulled her down so she could whisper in her ear. Kicking herself once again for being so short.
"This is a secret okay?" Alya nodded before her eyes widened and her jaw went slack. She looked between Marinette and Alix who smiled and nodded triumphantly.
"No freaking way." Alya breathed out. Alix smiled and nodded again.
"Yes freaking way." Alya bounced on her heels and began to squeal a little her fists clasped together as she looked between Alix and Marinette.
"I swear if you're fooling I will end you." She couldn't believe it! Her little Marinette going on a blind date! With the guy of her dreams no less! It was fantastic! It was incredible!
It was also very slimy and underhanded. Not to mention that it wasn't really 'Marinette' Marinette. It was a trained Marinette who was doing what Alix told her to do. And didn't she want Adrien to fall for her the way she had for him? With kindness and through her natural state of things?
Still it was also the closest that she had ever gotten to him before...and a little white lie wouldn't hurt her too badly right? It was for her own good...
"Fine I approve, just make sure to be careful and not hurt her. Physically, emotionally, or mentally." Alix groaned before shrugging in affirmation.
"Okay Marinette! That's enough practice it's time for the big leagues!" Marinette carefully stepped off of the chair and handed the snack her father had brought up over to Alya. Alya sniffed it before pulling out a slice and beginning to chew. Nice and sweet.
"So what now?" Alix cracked her neck, knuckles and back.
"I'm going to pretend to be a dude. You try your flirting technique, I tell you if you need to go up a notch." Marinette nodded before sitting down on her couch next to Alix who spread her legs, pulled her hat so it was backwards and leaned back so that she imitated a slouching meat head. She pretended to chew a wad of gum. Marinette looked at it, her expression clearly reading.
'SERIOUSLY?'
This was nothing like Adrien. Her prince charming was sweet, and had excellent posture. Not to mention all of the times that she had seen him eat he had never once chewed with his mouth open. She sighed, this had better not be the kind of guy Alix was going out with. But knowing her luck...
Marinette sat down next to Alix and smoothed the creases out of her pants. She smiled sweetly and politely at Alix who pointedly ignored her.
"So...uh...that's a nice hat..." Alix paused and looked at her.
"Go further. And no uh's or like's or 'OMG TOTE'S!'" Alix said breaking character and twirling a finger around her hair in a poor imitation of Marinette.
"I don't sound like that!" Marinette said indignantly crossing her arms and glowering.
"Whatever! Just try again." Marinette thought for a moment before she brought her eyelids a little lower, she knew a certain feral cat that imitated this once in a while. She put an arm around Alix's thin little shoulders and pulled them both closer.
"Hey there...cutie pie...that hat is real...dope?" Alix looked her up and down suspiciously.
"Getting there, but try it hotter. And don't use slang if you can't make it sound natural." Marinette sighed, this was starting to get exasperating.
"Hey there babe. I think your hat is real hot."
"Hotter."
"How much hotter can it get!" Marinette shouted crossed.
"Just try it!"
"Hey there hot stuff, you sure can wear that hat right! Makes you look real...steamy?"
"HTTER!" Alya called from across the room, her mouth full of pound cake, she just felt like beating Alix to the punch. She chewed and swallowed the entire mouthful. "Try to say it breathier, dudes go crazy for that."
"Oh yeah breathier is good." Alix agreed. "You were close on the second one. Don't try to over sell it. Express domination by touching too. That puts you in charge of the situation, you get to control where his hands go." Marinette flushed brighter then her Ladybug costume and composed herself.
She lidded her eyes, put on an alluring smile, leaned over and grasped Alix's hands in between both of hers.
"Hey there hot stuff...I really, really, really, like that hat." Marinette said slowly and with a lot of emphasis. She then went one step further and pulled it off of Alix's head and put it on herself. Posing for a second.
Alya let out a whoop and shook her fist in the air. Alix leaned back satisfied for it for now.
"Okay, now clothes. Show me your wardrobe." Marinette's confidence which she had been proudly and cockily wearing almost instantly drained out like a burst balloon.
"This is going to get out of hand." Tikki warned from where she hovered over the remains of the pound cake the three girls had consumed. Alya and Alix had left an hour ago to do homework and left Marinette to prepare for tomorrow. Instead Marinette was laying on the floor, wishing her muscles would stop thrumming. Alix had insisted that she learn how to walk in heels, how to run in them and then how to do one hundred push ups. This was before they had gone through a million crazy flirting techniques with Alya and Alix critiquing her posture, her fingernails and even how she pursed her lips when pronouncing words.
"I know. But I don't want to let Alix down. I promised her."
"Marinette are you comfortable with this? You don't have to do things unless you feel comfortable with them. This isn't the United States after all." Marinette looked up at the Kwami that slowly licked a few more crumbs off of her paw before flying over and landing on Marinette's outstretched hand.
"I know, and I think that this could be good for me. Aren't you always saying I should get out of my comfort zone more often?" Tikki was about to protest when she thought and shrugged.
"Okay, but I am going to tell you I told you so when this inevitably blows up in everyones faces."
"Tikki I literally wouldn't have it any other way."
