[ OMG THERE'S SEX IN THIS CHAPTER! ]

Being Human Sucks

Sasuke's face turned scarlet, but Sakura didn't see whatever wrathful expression she turned on him because he was focused on sweeping up the dirt and grass Naruto had tracked into the house. Not that it was working since it was just sticking and smearing over the damp floor, but he half-swept half-scrubbed at the wood until Sasuke collected herself enough to splash some water at his feet so Sakura had something to work with. He sang a little thank you without looking up, leaning harder into the broom as his work began revealing a subtle hint of the actual wood grain pattern in the almost black floor.

They fell into an unspoken rhythm of teamwork. Sasuke cracked the layers of grime that had built up over the years with her stiff-wired brush, Sakura completed the process with the thick bristles of the broom, and Naruto brought water in to the front of the procession as well as mopping it up from behind them. The amber light of the late afternoon sun spilled across the floor by the time they were finished, and none of them spoke as they leaned back against the wall near the front door to survey their handiwork.

The silence was thick as they stared at the floor, almost suffocating as Sakura's heart thundered painfully in his chest. Without thinking, looking up, or asking, he reached out to either side of him and grabbed onto Naruto and Sasuke's shirt sleeves. He could feel his eyes burning as he swallowed against his throat closing up, and he blinked again and again without looking away from the cleaned floorboards. He refused to cry, refused to panic. He had his girls there with him, he could feel the warmth of their skin through the fabric he was gripping so tight he was sure he'd rip it soon.

They were alive. They were together. They were one of the lucky teams to come into the safe house without adding to the sporadic pattern that sprinkled and pooled and overlapped and streaked and soaked into the wood to stain it until it couldn't be scrubbed away. This could have been them, but it wasn't. This had almost been them, but it wasn't. Sakura squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep shuddering breath, snapping his fingers out to grip the solid muscle of Naruto and Sasuke's forearms, reassuring himself that they were still right there where he could feel the pulse of life under his hands.

This had been them once...but now it wasn't. Now it wasn't! They didn't leave him! They were right there! They were right there next to him and they were HIS and they weren't going ANYWHERE! EVER!

"It hasn't cooled off," Naruto said quietly, her voice sounding distant through the howling in Sakura's ears.

"It'll be a warm night," Sasuke replied, the off-handed shrug coming through in her tone as she remained still.

"Let's sleep outside, then. It'll be too stuffy in here."

"Doesn't matter to me."

"I hate you both," Sakura choked, yanking them in and wrapping his arms around both of them so he could have one brief moment of breathing them in, fingers laced in their hair as they stumbled against him in surprise, their breath quick and warm against either side of his neck. Just for a moment. Just for a heartbeat, and he let them go before they could stiffen up and struggle. "Life would be so much easier if I didn't have the two of you to worry about," he sighed dramatically, ducking out through the door and scratching at his hair as he looked up at the cloudless sky.

"I'll get dinner," Sasuke said, stepping out of the cabin.

"I'll start the fire," Naruto offered, closing the door behind her.

"The bugs will be out in force on a night like this. I'll make up something to keep them away," Sakura said with a watery smile, then shook his head and trotted off to collect the ingredients he'd seen in the area while he'd been setting up the traps. They really were hopeless. All of them...

Gathering enough of the pungent herbs and mosses without stripping any one area bare took a little while, but he made it back in time to boil everything into a tea before they wore themselves down keeping the insects away with surges of chakra. He ducked into the cabin briefly, only long enough to grab a jar of honey from one of the cupboards, and spooned a generous amount into the steaming pot to dull the sharp sour taste. In all honesty, he didn't think it was that bad with the honey added. It was almost like drinking an earthy ginger and lemongrass tea that had been made too strong.

After they all bolted down the tea, they retrieved the dry laundry and re-distributed all the borrowed clothes while dinner simmered over the fire. By the time they were scooping helpings of the vegetable stew and crunching on the tiny grilled fish between bites of rice, the bugs were no longer a factor. Conversation was minimal, but the subdued quiet was comfortable rather than tense, and Sakura enjoyed the rare moment of calm. There was enough leftover stew and rice to make porridge for breakfast, so Sakura sealed the pots to prevent them from spoiling or attracting animals and set them aside while the girls took care of the dishes.

"Well, tomorrow's the big day, huh?" Naruto said, flopping back on her bedroll.

"God, I can't wait," Sakura groaned, rolling his shoulders and leaning back on his hands as he stretched his legs out in front of him. As informative and...admittedly pleasurable, but also insanely frustrating and a little bit traumatizing as the experience of being a man had been, he sincerely missed his old body. He was never going to be unappreciative or self-conscious of his cute little breasts again. EVER.

"Agreed," Sasuke muttered, flicking a few blades of grass off her blanket and sitting down.

"You sure do like missing out on golden opportunities," Naruto said, propping herself up on her elbow to grimace wryly across the fire at Sasuke. "You do know that restoring your Clan is going to eventually involve you getting naked with a woman, right?"

"Be quiet for once in your moronic life," Sasuke sighed, sliding a weary condescending glance at the blonde before turning her attention back to stoking the fire.

"No, seriously," Naruto scowled, her expression becoming serious. "You do know that, right?"

"Naruto..." Sakura interjected warningly, a cold stone forming in his belly at the topic.

"Did you think about all the paperwork and the intricate balance of politics to maintain peace between Countries when you were caterwauling about becoming Hokage as a kid?" Sasuke asked crisply, narrowing her eyes at Naruto.

Naruto remained silent, the muscles in her jaw tensing as she clenched her teeth and never let her steely gaze waver from Sasuke's frigid stare.

"As long as I can restore the pride and honor of my Clan's name while carrying on Itachi's will, I don't care if the bloodline dies with me," she said coldly.

Sakura closed his eyes, fighting back the pain of hearing a truth he'd suspected for quite a long time, but didn't want to acknowledge. It hurt more than he wanted to admit, an icy hollow regret splintering behind his ribs. Nothing was said for several seconds, and the only noise was the crackling of the fire and the chirping of frogs in the distance.

"That's probably for the best," Naruto snorted derisively, and Sakura whipped a livid disbelieving glare at her as the blonde flumped onto her back and tucked one arm behind her head. "I mean, as long as we're being brutally honest about it, let's face facts. The way you are now, you're more likely to eat babies than raise them."

Sakura's brain short-circuited for a moment, and he slouched forward to press his fingertips to his forehead as the seals on his palms started to itch.

"But I suppose it's a moot point, it's not like you can even reproduce with that 'problem' you have," Naruto continued, waving her hand dismissively over her pelvis.

"I do not have a 'problem'..." Sasuke grated, her eyes flashing red.

"Whatever, baby-eater," Naruto retorted, sitting up and glaring right back at the brunette.

The seals buzzed against the bones of Sakura's hands, but he held back the desire to end the argument and stood up instead. He wasn't feeling all that generous at the moment, and the idea of leaving the pair to really scrap it out was somewhat appealing in a petty vindictive kind of way.

"I'm going to do a perimeter check," he said, turning and walking away. "Don't kill each other while I'm gone."

"Bastard, now look what you did!" Naruto hissed furiously. "And don't even give me that look..."

The rest of whatever Naruto said faded into the distance as Sakura leapt into the trees and focused his senses on the task ahead so he could navigate safely in the darkening shade of evening. He was perfectly aware that he was sulking, and he honestly didn't give a shit. Damn it, he was entitled to an occasional bout of morose disappointment and self-pity, especially after that conversation! So, he let himself wallow for several minutes until the seals on his palms began spiking erratically with the growing intensity of the girls' little spat.

Shaking himself out of his funk, he circled all the way around the area until he stepped out of the forest behind the cabin. Leaning back against the neatly stacked firewood at the back of the house, he let the sound of the girls' voices wash over him without paying attention to what he could make out of their distant arguing. He heaved a big sigh and scrubbed his face. Naruto was right, and he knew it. Sasuke was a far cry from a loving fatherly type at the moment.

At the moment.

She was still wary and untrusting of everyone around her, but that didn't mean she would stay that way forever. Sakura had seen the gradual changes over the months, a slow cautious ease of tension. Hell, even this horrendous mess they were in had opened Sasuke up more than he'd seen since they had been Genin together. It helped that he knew he wasn't at all ready to be a mother yet either, but having the idle frivolous fantasy crushed by a cold voice still hurt. He looked down at himself, fingering the cloth over his stomach and hating the maleness of what he saw.

Scratching at his scalp, he tucked his hair behind his ears and took a deep breath. The argument beyond the other side of the cabin was gaining momentum, and he could almost make out what they were saying without having to concentrate to understand them. He pursed his lips and suppressed his chakra, silently keeping to the darker shadows of the cabin to peek around the corner of the house until he could spy the two figures sitting across from each other next to the fire. Sure, he knew he should probably be stalking over to them to break up the fight, but that lingering still-angry part of him wanted to see how everything unfolded.

"I bet you haven't even felt yourself up this whole damn time!" Naruto said scathingly, waving her arms. "What did you do when you took a shower? Wash your hair and just pretend the rest of you was clean by default?!"

Sakura sagged heavily against the house and pinched the bridge of his nose, resisting the urge to groan and thankful that he had not blindly walked in on the middle of that conversation. Sasuke gave Naruto a trenchant look and stood up to leave, but the blonde was on top of her in a flash of light, knocking them both to the ground where she sat on Sasuke's stomach and punched the earth above her head as the golden chakra cloak vanished.

"Don't you dare run from me, you coward!" Naruto snapped. "We're having an honest moment here! So let's just keep on being honest, because I'm not buying that bullshit you fed me earlier today! When was the last time you rubbed one out!"

"Get off of me!" Sasuke snarled, shoving Naruto back so she could sit up.

Naruto dug her feet into the dirt and latched onto the sleeves of Sasuke's shirt, refusing to budge off her lap. Sakura's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the position the girls were in, but he kept quiet.

"Nothing, huh?" Naruto growled. "You're just gonna grope my boobs and not react at all?! I know they're small, but they're still there!"

Sasuke glanced down with wide eyes and jerked her hands back as if she'd been burned, her face turning scarlet as she twisted and slammed Naruto onto her back when the blonde stubbornly refused to let go of her arms.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" Sasuke spat. "Is your brain seriously that weak and small that you have to think with your dick all the time?! Just accept the fact that I do not care about sex!"

"Bullshit!" Naruto railed, hooking her legs tight around Sasuke's waist and fisting her hands in the dark hair to drag her down for a kiss just as brutal as the brunette had given her earlier that day.

Jealousy spiked through Sakura's chest, writhing into a convoluted mess of shock and want because her palms were vibrating and pulsing as Sasuke lunged forcefully into the kiss, pinning Naruto beneath her and grinding her hips in between the blonde's legs. Heat flushed through Sakura, and everything was getting tight and tingly and needy despite the fact that he could not even believe he had turned into a fucking PEEPER! Unfortunately, the rational flare of disgust at himself never stood a chance against the maelstrom of irrational thoughts crowding his head and forcing him to grip the front of his jacket so his hands wouldn't stray to places that ached and throbbed and begged to be touched.

He knew he shouldn't be watching this. He knew he should be turning around and hobbling back into the forest, but he couldn't tear his gaze away, couldn't move, couldn't think. This wasn't a lovingly intimate romantic moment he could automatically turn from and feel guilty witnessing, it was violent and frantic like a sparring match gone incomprehensibly awry. Somewhere in the back of his head he noted clinically that their lips were going to be bruised and cut because they were kissing each other too clumsily and hard with a lot of teeth flashing angrily. He was going to have to heal those injuries.

Unaccountably his dick twitched at the idea of getting close enough to brush his fingers over those abused lips, and then thinking stopped again because Naruto was wrestling Sasuke's shirt off of her, kicking her heel into the ground to get leverage so she could flip their positions. Sasuke didn't want to relinquish control so easily, and while Naruto's arms were still lifted to toss the grey shirt aside, the brunette heaved herself off her back and whipped Naruto's shirt over her head before twisting it around her fist to trap the blonde's arms in the material.

Naruto was unfazed, digging her toes into the grassy turf and pushing forward on the brunette's lap to latch her mouth onto Sasuke's throat. Sasuke sucked in air through clenched teeth at the contact, her black eyes rolling back for a moment before she snapped them forward again. But that brief distraction had given Naruto the opportunity to wriggle one of her arms free, and she scratched her nails down Sasuke's back, hooking her fingers at the back of the bra and yanking it till the clasp broke.

Shit...he needed to wear that thing tomorrow, and now he was going to have to repair it. Whatever. Didn't matter. That's why he carried a sewing kit. Naruto's shirt was cast aside as Sasuke untangled herself from the bra, and the blonde slid back a bit to hunch over so she could wrap her lips around one of Sasuke's erect nipples. Sakura just caught sight of a flash of teeth in the firelight, and instantly winced in sympathy as he tucked his arms up to hug his flat chest.

"Ow, damn it!" Sasuke yowled, gripping Naruto's hair and jerking her back. "What are you trying to do?! Bite it off?!"

"You weren't complaining about my teeth earlier!" Naruto retorted defiantly.

"How would you like it if I bit down on one of your nuts, dumbass!" Sasuke shouted, shoving Naruto onto her back again and ducking her head to one of the blonde's small breasts, taking nearly the whole thing into her mouth like she was going to eat it.

"Oi, I get it! I'm sorry!" Naruto squeaked in panic, grabbing Sasuke's hair.

But instead of pushing the brunette away, she was suddenly shuddering and curling forward with a gasp, throwing her head back and digging her heels into the small of Sasuke's back. Sakura shivered and had to remind himself to keep his breathing quiet, because the skin on his pecs was zinging under his palms and he just wanted his breasts back, damn it! The thought of that sensitive flesh being taken in and massaged with an aggressive tongue and gentle, gentle teeth made his stomach quiver.

Swallowing the dryness in his throat, he summoned the will to lower his hands to his sides. He definitely needed to stop thinking about that. And stop peeping. Maybe. In a minute. When he was sure they were going to figure things out properly. Yeah, that was a good reason to stay. Because there was the off chance that they might need assistance, and he could be there to help them, and...and...fuck he was so hard it wasn't even funny...

"Holy shit, how does she function normally with a body like this?!" Naruto panted.

"Fuck if I know," Sasuke said, nibbling her way up the center of Naruto's chest to her collarbone and sliding a hand down the front of her pants.

There was a significant pause as Naruto arched a brow and tilted her head.

"You seriously don't even know what you're doing down there, do you," Naruto snerked, giving Sasuke an unimpressed and highly amused look.

"Screw you!" Sasuke snapped, her face catching fire.

"Yeah, I know, and you're failing at it, loser," she drawled, shifting her hips and rolling them over again. "Oh, and one more thing before I show you how this is actually done correctly," she said, sensuously flexing her back to lay on top of the slightly taller young woman and maneuver her legs in between Sasuke's. "When the first wave hits you and leaves you feeling disappointed, don't blame me because you blew your wad early like a little bitch."

"As if you could even get me there, you no-talent hack," Sasuke sneered.

"You better believe I can, bastard," Naruto purred, grinning impishly as she slithered down to quickly strip the rest of Sasuke's clothes down to her ankles as the brunette propped herself on her elbows with a somewhat wary suspicious look beginning to cloud her features.

Then Naruto was darting her arms beneath Sasuke's thighs and grabbing her hips, the blonde head disappearing between those legs. Sasuke let out an undignified noise of fright and tried to get her feet untangled from the pants that were pinned beneath Naruto's knees.

"If you bite me down there, I'll kill y-" Sasuke's furious words and struggling were cut off with a strangled cry, her eyes widening impossibly before squeezing shut as she hunched forward and trembled. In no time at all her shoulders sagged and she fell back on her elbows to blink her eyes clear.

"Well, that was fast," Naruto said, sitting lazily back on her heels as she licked her lips and flashed a cocky smirk. "Now, tell me the truth. How did it feel to cum to the name U-zu-ma-ki Na-ru-to?" She asked, slowly enunciating her own name with a lewd amount of tongue involved, drawing out the 'z', humming the 'm' and 'n', rolling the 'r', and popping the 't'.

Sakura felt his knees turn soft, knowing how disgustingly talented Naruto was with her tongue and how painfully delicious that would have felt in his female body, buzzing and thrumming and dancing over skin so hypersensitive it crackled with pleasure. He had to grip his thighs and close his eyes briefly to gather his focus again. When he opened his eyes again, Sasuke had turned a very careful shade of tomato red as she scowled at Naruto in a mixture of rage and humiliation.

"Unimpressive..." she grated heatedly.

"I told you it would be if you creamed your shorts early, quick-draw," Naruto shrugged arrogantly, shifting her feet to settle her hip on the grass and lean her forearm casually on Sasuke's bent knee. "So, what's it gonna be? Are you cashed in and spent after that weak little show?"

"I fucking hate you so much," Sasuke snarled as she lurched up onto her knees, fisting a hand in Naruto's hair and kissing her ravenously while her other hand swiftly unbuttoned and yanked at the blonde's trousers.

"The feeling's mutual," Naruto growled against Sasuke's lips as they paused for a moment so she could squirm out of her pants. She grunted in surprise as Sasuke gripped Naruto's ankle and pushed her back down to the ground, straddling the other tanned leg. "Gonna try again, huh?" She taunted, hauling the brunette down for another forceful kiss as Sasuke let go so Naruto could hook her leg around Sasuke's waist.

Naruto abruptly flinched and shivered, her mouth open and barely brushing Sasuke's lips. Sasuke arched a delicate brow and smirked victoriously, licking her lips so her tongue skated along Naruto's mouth.

"God damn geniuses..." Naruto groused, tipping her head back and digging her nails into Sasuke's shoulders as her frame tensed and writhed. "Stop pussy-footing around and give me more," she hissed, nipping at Sasuke's ear and arching her back as the brunette sank her teeth into Naruto's neck.

The firelight glimmered off the fine sheen of sweat covering both their bodies, flickering and dancing shadows over the gentle curves, brightening their skin with teasing glimpses of faded red lines and bite marks that itched to have a tongue and lips tracing soothing patterns over them. Sakura didn't remember making the conscious decision to let his hand slip between his legs, but it didn't matter because he just couldn't take it anymore. His brain was too hazy, and the need was too raw.

Naruto's hair looked orange in the firelight, her arms a darker burnished color against the gold of Sasuke's back, fingers flexing and scratching, pulling and grasping as Sasuke bit and tongued her way down Naruto's chest. Sakura molded his side to the wall of the cabin, easing out slow languid strokes and trying not to think about what he was holding in his hand, just sinking into the sensations and letting them cloud his vision. He could imagine how it would feel to trade places with Naruto in that foggy state of mind, drugged with pleasure but not drunk with a frantic lust, where he could leave his current identity behind and remember what it was like to be a woman again.

He could be her.

Grass tickling her spine and the back of her leg, getting caught between her toes as she rolled her hips into Sasuke's nimble fingers. Her breath catching swift in her throat at the bites across her skin that were just shy of painful, tingling and jittering under hot breath and a slick tongue. Everything about Sasuke soft and supple, limber and smooth and inviting beneath her touch. Fine bones and delicate curves, sensitive skin that quivered and trembled so easily as they both searched out those countless tender little areas that could bring on a storm of passion.

The fire warm against her side, a body hot above her, and the night air just cool enough to heighten her senses and make goose bumps break out as the sweat rolled down the inside of her leg where she was hooked around Sasuke's slender waist. Flexing and tensing her muscles, scratching up her back and tangling her fingers in that short dark hair as her nerves rattled and clamored in a cacophony of overwhelming snarling pleasure. Full lips on hers, hungry and vicious, plump breasts pillowed against her own with that lithe body straddled and grinding on her thigh.

Suddenly Sasuke was looking straight at Sakura, her chin tilted down and her hooded black eyes roiling with an unfathomable dark intensity that seared through him, body and soul. The world flashed white at the edges of Sakura's vision as release slammed into him, but he never blinked away from that gaze. Not even when his legs folded under him and he slid to the ground to pant and gasp in the shadow of the cabin as Naruto arched and bucked and cried out beneath Sasuke while she reached the first moments of her climax. And all Sakura could think about was just wanting to punch that damn egotistical smirk off of Sasuke's face.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Naruto railed with breathless venom, snatching a fistful of Sasuke's hair and forcing her to look down at her. "Don't just stop! I'm not finished yet!"

Sakura allowed himself a silent malicious chuckle at the bewildered shock on Sasuke's features, shaking his head and wiping his sticky hand clean on the grass. Pushing himself to his wobbly legs, he trundled off into the forest without looking back or paying attention to the fading voices. After catching his breath and mustering up enough strength to get himself into the canopy, he sank down on a wide branch and slumped his shoulder against the smooth bark of the tree to stare wearily out into the darkness.

The minutes ticked by, and he heard Naruto's wrathful cussing accompanied by an agitated pinging over his palms from Sasuke. Against his better judgement, he felt a genuine surge of pity for the pair. Sasuke had inadvertently timed her actions with Naruto just right, and had thrown the blonde into the unholy maelstrom that led to the third wave. He sighed and swung his feet idly, situating himself a little more comfortably in his perch as he leaned the side of his head against the tree trunk.

He had faith in Naruto's determination, so he was sure they were going to be busy with each other for a while until she finally made it through to the end and felt the sky rip open for her. She certainly deserved to have that after this whole mess. Sakura couldn't deny that, regardless of the lingering twinges of jealousy. He tried not to imagine what was going on, but it was difficult because he could hear it, and he knew if he turned around he would be able to see the silhouette of tangled bodies framed by the firelight.

He didn't want to think about the myriad of reasons that would explain why Sasuke's chakra was becoming increasingly erratic and jangling through the seals on his palms strong enough to make his fingers tingle with pins and needles. He didn't want to think about how he probably could have joined them if he'd stayed. He didn't want to think about how good it would have felt to toss what few morals he had left to the wayside, and embrace the dirty sex-drunk pervert he had apparently morphed into. He didn't want to think about the crazy irrational part of his brain that kept trying to convince him of how it wouldn't have been pervy or dirty of him to join them if he had still been a woman.

Sex was sex! It was two naked bodies writhing against each other, kissing and touching and tasting and exploring all those secret little places that drove you mad with desire. Naruto and Sasuke were having sex right now, and the fact that they were both female did not make the act any less...well, sexual! Sakura scratched at his hair in frustration, unable to get past the twisting thread of discomfort in his belly that kept insisting his involvement would somehow make the act more...permanent and tainted.

Which was unbelievably absurd, because there was nothing chaste and innocent about the sounds Naruto was making. There was nothing sweet and naïve about the curl of longing and arousal her voice evoked in him. And there was nothing - short of a direct verbal invitation - that would convince him to go over there and join them. Time dragged on, and he refused to keep track of it. A thick silence eventually fell over the forest, humming with had been's and could have been's and may be's. He didn't turn around when he felt Sasuke's approach, keeping his gaze locked out in the dark woods.

"Why," she said.

Sakura closed his eyes for a beat and gave a quiet sigh. He hated the way Sasuke didn't ask questions, instead turning what could have been a simple polite inquiry into a cold emotionless demand. When he had been younger it had been cool to hear Sasuke speak that way to others, and later on it had hurt to have that cold tone turned his way. Now it made him bristle.

"Why what," Sakura replied, not bothering to keep the bite out of his voice.

Sasuke made an irritated little noise, and Sakura could picture the disgusted look on her face. "Why did you watch. Why did you leave. Why didn't you come back."

"I watched because I thought the two of you were simply going to fight, but you didn't and I was startled at first, and it just...happened," Sakura grated, focusing his eyes on the leaves several feet away. "I left because you saw me. I didn't come back because I wasn't ready to."

"You enjoyed watching."

"So what if I did! You enjoyed being watched!" Sakura snapped, hating the heat prickling at his cheeks.

"Why didn't you join us."

Sakura finally turned to glare at her, his scathing reply falling short as he found himself staring at very naked Uchiha. WHAT THE FUCK! What the hell was she even trying to accomplish by doing that?! He rolled his eyes and looked away in exasperation for a moment, then swung his legs up to swivel around and fold them in front of him as he scowled up at Sasuke. He didn't give a shit about the heat pooling in his belly. His dick could do whatever it wanted to at this point, and that included falling off.

"This isn't one of Kakashi-sensei's porn novels," he said tartly. "I had no intention of interfering with what the two of you were doing."

"You wanted to."

"That's irrelevant! I still have some self-control."

"What is it about this...body...that's even appealing to you," Sasuke said, the wealth of distaste in her tone cutting through the air.

"I'd like to say it appeals to me because you're in it, but that's hardly an honest statement at the moment," he said, crossing his arms and slouching angrily back. In the dim light of the slivered crescent moon he could see Sasuke's shoulders stiffen as she clenched her hands at her sides. He ignored it along with the jangling of chakra at his palms. "I like the line of your neck, your breasts fill out a shirt nicely without making you look top-heavy, and your arms have just the right amount of definition. You've got a great figure and a fantastic ass, but Naruto has nicer legs and I like his hips and waistline better."

There was a heavy pause before Sasuke canted her head slightly and narrowed her eyes, looking more offended and outraged than pleased at the compliments. "What about my real body."

"About the same," Sakura shrugged after a moment of thought. "Except without the 'fantastic ass' part, because you're always hiding it under this thing," he said, plucking at the cloth wrapped over his legs.

"I don't understand."

"Well, that makes two of us," Sakura said. "What are you even talking ab-" A flash of movement cut his words off, the sound of wood cracking next to his ears as Sasuke's hands slammed against the tree.

"I don't understand why I like you better this way," Sasuke hissed, her eyes inches from Sakura's and her lips drawn back furiously.

"So, you like me better as a man?" Sakura sneered, leaning forward to literally butt heads with the brunette as his temper flared.

"I hate your body," Sasuke said scathingly. "I can't stand looking at it! You've had a dick between your legs for two days, and it makes me sick just thinking about it!"

Blinking at the perplexing response, Sakura narrowed his eyes after a thoughtful second and tilted a patronizing smile. "Sounds like you understand things just fine. It's called jealousy, Sasuke-chan."

"I want it back," she growled, pressing forward until Sakura's head halted against the smooth bark of the tree as she slipped her hand under the dark fabric covering his legs.

"What for?" Sakura asked caustically, digging his nails into his arms and fighting back the urge to shiver at the feel of a hand ghosting up his thighs. "It's not like you're going to do anything with it."

"I want it back so I can fuck you while you still have the balls to talk to me this way," Sasuke replied, tugging his boxers down and curling her fingers possessively around the throbbing hard muscle.

Sakura swallowed a gasp, clenching his teeth as he reached up to scratch a fingernail against Sasuke's chin and drag it down her throat to the hollow of her neck. "You know...for a genius, you are unbelievably stupid. I don't care how comfortable it makes you feel, I will not hate you."

"What do you want from me?!" Sasuke snarled, her grip tightening enough to elicit a hiss of discomfort from Sakura.

"Abandonment," Sakura said, ruthlessly quelling the sharp stinging ache in his chest that wanted this moment to be tender and loving so badly. He took advantage of Sasuke's confusion and loosened grasp to duck his head away from the pressure holding him against the tree. "I want to hear you scream," he continued with a sly grin, clamping his teeth on Sasuke's earlobe to carefully knead and roll it over his tongue, savoring the tang of sweat and the smell of her hair.

"How many times have you opened your legs for a man," Sasuke demanded, sliding his thumb roughly up and down the underside of Sakura's member.

"None," Sakura whispered darkly, shuddering and giving the soft flesh between his teeth a harsh nip while he traced the line of Sasuke's collar bone with his nails.

"Good," Sasuke grunted, yanking down the zipper on Sakura's jacket with her free hand.

"Well, not before today, at any rate," Sakura mused, shrugging out of the jacket and tossing it aside as he tried to ignore the lingering foolish hope that things would somehow alter their course into a gentle romantic night.

"Naruto doesn't count," Sasuke scoffed, leaning back a bit to glower at Sakura. "He's..."

Sakura chuckled when Sasuke gritted her teeth and declined to finish the sentence. "Yeah, he is," he said, grabbing the back of her neck and quickly swiping his other hand over Sasuke's cut lips with a flash of green before she could jerk her head out of the way. "Now, now, you can't have everything your way tonight," he smirked, lacing his fingers in the short hair as he lowered his free hand to dig his nails into her lower back and drag them over her hip.

"So that's what they feel like," she said, curving her spine into the touch as she tilted her head and mirrored Sakura's smug expression.

"What?"

"The seals..." Sasuke purred maliciously, snaking her other arm under the last of Sakura's clothing.

"Son of a bitch!" Sakura gasped and flinched at the buzzing vibration skating along the inside of his thigh behind fingers that skittered and scratched lightly at the sensitive flesh.

"Until yesterday, I had been able to identify every emotion that came through except one," Sasuke said quietly, her black eyes gleaming and taunting as she moved her head so her lips were a hair's breadth from Sakura's. "You think about sex far too often."

"Like you're one to fucking talk," he countered, pulling her down for a forceful kiss as he slid the palm of his hand across her navel and up to her ribs so she could feel the full effect of the rattling seal.

Sasuke tensed for a split-second, and then there was a flurry of struggling movement as she whipped off Sakura's belt, threw the draping cloth aside, grabbed his ankles, and shoved his feet out of the way so she could get her knees under his thighs. Sakura dug his nails into her back and didn't relinquish the grip he had on her hair, stubbornly taking control of the kissing until Sasuke stopped using her teeth so damn much. It wasn't easy keeping his focus and keeping control when a dream he'd been nurturing for nearly seven years was right there happening to him.

He wanted to sink into the obliviousness of submission, let it all wash over him in a torrent of lust and carry him away to wherever Sasuke wanted because the pale fingers stroking him were driving him mad. He wanted Sasuke to just...WANT him so bad that she would carry him away! He wanted to not be a HE, GOD DAMN IT! He wanted the body between his legs to be the he, and then he could be the she like he was supposed to be! But that wasn't going to happen tonight, and he needed to get his shit together and concentrate!

Nails were raking across his chest, and Sakura couldn't stop himself from throwing his head back with a groan. He tried to blink himself back to reality, but it was all a fantasy anyway with alabaster skin pressing against him and perfect teeth marking his neck and black hair tickling his ear. Swallowing past the quickness of his breath, he clenched his teeth and fought his body's spiralling need for release by focusing on his hands. Unfortunately, he couldn't really think straight, so he mimicked Sasuke's movements.

The random idea made it startlingly easy for him to drag his mind back to coherence. He knew this body under his fingertips. He knew where to scratch and where to be feather-soft, how hard to grab and how to delicately squeeze flesh between his fingers. He knew where that over-sensitive bundle of nerves was, and he had a hand wrapped around him setting the pace that Sasuke preferred. He wasn't the only one screaming inside, wishing he was the body in front of him.

Sasuke trembled under his ministrations, and he echoed it. He let her lead, following the hands exploring his frame and mapping out the same route on her skin until he felt almost inside-out as he choked in air and tried to keep his mind in his own body. It was so tempting to close his eyes and imagine the soft curves he was touching were his own, because he was being touched in the same places. But he couldn't let himself go, he had to focus! And it was so hard to do that with Sasuke grinding into his hand and his groin, panting against his neck as she braced one arm against the tree over his shoulder, picking up speed with her other hand and thrusting her hips with more force.

It was Sakura's turn to bite down on Sasuke's shoulder, drawing out a strangled noise from the brunette as he tasted his way across to her throat. She quickened her pace more, but the movements were becoming erratic and insistent. Sakura muscled every ounce of willpower he had into resisting the storm of sensations threatening to push him over the edge, spitting out a curse and burying his face in Sasuke's sweaty neck, scratching at her taut back and silently begging her to reach her climax soon.

'Soon' as in before he got to the point where he wouldn't be able to concentrate on what his hand was doing between her legs.

Meaning 'NOW', damn it all!

Slick tight heat quivered and clenched around his fingers, bucking fiercely into his pelvis and his vibrating palm as Sasuke's hand yanked on him a few more times before she hunched in and dug her nails into his hip. Sakura took a deep breath at the release of pressure, shifting forward a bit to ease the pins and needles dancing up his calves as Sasuke coughed and twisted and pushed harder against his hand. Oh, god, he wanted to cum right now with her writhing on him, but he let out a quiet groan and pulled his hand away to rest it on her thigh.

"Not yet," Sakura whispered, gulping down air to try to calm his racing heart and cool the fires in his blood. "I still haven't heard you scream," he growled, catching Sasuke's lust-hazed eyes the moment before he grabbed her waist and pinned her down on the wide tree branch.

A thrill shivered down his spine at the empty blackness where he knew the ground was supposed to be, at the startled gasp of pleasure and frantic grip of Sasuke's fingers on his hair when he bit the inside of her thigh, at the smooth gingery-lemon taste of her as he gently tongued his way to re-stimulating her before she had the chance to come down from her high. Getting to that third wave was a somewhat cruel journey at first because it had to happen straight off of the crest of the second wave, when nerve-endings were almost painfully jumpy and the continued bombardment of signals tore through like a rip tide.

It was so easy to give up and collapse to a stop when forced aftershocks jolted into swift fleeting orgasms that were there and gone in a fierce spasm, too powerful to grasp and too brief to enjoy. You had to work your way around them, push through them, dig deep and keep the fires stoked without letting the frustration blind you into turning away. Sakura knew this, and so he gingerly brushed and circled the tip of his tongue over the right places, keeping his rhythm uneven but always a steady presence.

The first part was all about maintenance; keeping Sasuke just within reach of that magnificent agony until her blood warmed up enough for her to stay there on her own. The second part was all about fury. Sakura knew Sasuke was there when the grip on his hair tightened, and her flinching squirms settled into a constant tension peppered with rattling shudders. He replaced his tongue with his fingers, kissing and biting and licking his way up her trembling stomach, and so very very thankful he'd had enough of a reprieve to get his own body back under his command.

When he increased the direct pressure under his circling thumb and started slipping his fingers back inside, Sasuke arched back and spat out a venomous curse. Sakura cackled and sank his teeth into Sasuke's waist, shivering at the feel of nails digging into the back of his neck and clawing their way down to his shoulder blades. He knew Sasuke was going through hell, and he had no qualms about feeling quite pleased with that fact. Being caught at the edge of a never ending orgasm that shrieks under your skin and teases you just enough with little quakes and quivers to drive you to fight and and howl for more, but keeps that genuine release just out of reach was an unmitigated torture. It was a fabulous torture, but it was still torture.

"Fuck! Hurry up!" Sasuke raged, scratching at her hair and twisting her hips up in frustration.

"I certainly hope you're not talking to me," Sakura said, leaning on his elbow and tracing an idle winding pattern over one of Sasuke's breasts. Bloody red eyes glared down at him, writhing with accusation and desire, and he smiled sweetly before turning his attention back to the flushed damp skin. "As long as you keep trying to hold back, you'll never get to feel the sky rip open for you."

"God damn it, I hate this body! I hate you!"

"I know," Sakura shrugged, ducking down to flick a nipple with the tip of his tongue. "I'm still not going to hate you back, though."

Sakura wrapped his lips around that nipple and sucked hard, rolling the pert sweat-salty flesh over his tongue and widening his mouth to let his teeth gingerly skate out over the supple cushiony skin. Sasuke choked out a moan and dug her heels into the tree branch, curving her back and pressing forward.

"I'm sick of waiting," she snarled.

Sakura was about to reply when he abruptly found himself shoved back, clutching at the branch below him and the trunk behind his shoulders to keep himself from falling as his boxers were ripped off. There were lips on his, a tongue plunging in with a hungry demand for action, and hands wrapped around the cock he had been doing so well trying to ignore. Everything went hazy and he bucked his hips up reflexively, lacing his fingers in Sasuke's hair and scratching down her back as he slid and twined his tongue against hers.

It was the slippery weight of legs maneuvering to straddle him and rest against the sides of his hips that had him cracking his eyes open, slowly blinking the drunken fog out of his head. It was the rigid tension in Sasuke's frame, the hitch in her breath against his lips as if she was bracing herself for something, and the fact that her hands were holding but no longer moving along his length that had his eyes flying wide open in frightened shock. Jerking his head back, he darted his hands down to her waist and held her perfectly still, frantically pumping chakra into his fingers to keep a steady grip on her wet skin.

"Wait!" Sakura gasped, trying to clear out the last of the haze and wishing Sasuke wasn't still gripping him, wasn't kneeling over him and hovering an inch from the sex he wanted so bad he couldn't even stand it, wasn't still so close to his mouth where he could taste her breath, wasn't staring him down with predatory black eyes that wanted and NEEDED!

"I already said I'm sick of waiting," she hissed waspishly. "It'll be easier if I just get it over with in one shot, and you know damn well you want this too, now let go of me."

"No," Sakura said firmly, refusing to let his hold waver in the slightest.

"Who's holding back now?" Sasuke sneered, tracing her fingers up Sakura's shaft and circling the head lazily before bringing one hand up to ease her own throbbing discomfort.

"You're wrong about it being easier!" Sakura persisted, shaking his head and shivering at the touch and trying to keep his mind clear. "I thought the same thing when I tried out my first toy, and I was wrong then, too. So, trust me," he said with quiet force, digging his nails into her hips and looking her straight in the eyes. "Trust me when I say I never made that mistake again. You'll lose all the pleasure you've built up in the blink of an eye, and you won't get it back. Not even if I heal you as fast as I can, because that kind of pain isn't something you can just recover from in a few minutes."

"Then how do you propose we solve this dilemma?" Sasuke asked, leaning forward to nibble her way along Sakura's jaw while her thumb stroked back and forth over his weeping tip with a hypnotic rhythm.

"S-stop using your damn head," he stammered, fighting and losing against the electricity zinging through his groin. "It'll go faster than you think, just take it easy and let your body guide you."

"Fine. My body wants you to let the fuck go."

Sakura bit his lip, letting the chakra fade from his hands and relaxing the muscles in his arms so Sasuke was free to move. He slid one palm up her back, but kept his other hand on her hip because she was slowly sinking down and panting in his hair, swallowing as she paused and let out little noises right behind his ear. It took everything he had to keep his hips from rolling up to meet her, to urge her down so he could bury himself in that tight fluttering heat, to just breathe her name and tell her everything he so desperately wanted her to hear.

But, of course he couldn't do that, because as weird as it sounded, now was not the right time for loving confessions. So, he settled for cussing and silent wishes, praying he would be able to last longer than her and getting his clumsy hands to move to those sensitive spots he'd mapped out earlier. Teeth and tongue and lips moved against his throat, murmuring approval between gasping shudders as she relaxed and sank and tightened and stopped and pretty much set about destroying his entire world in the best way possible. This was everything he'd always wanted, and none of it was happening they way he'd always hoped.

Sakura wasn't going to complain, however, because Uchiha Sasuke was on his lap, fully seated and breathless as she slid her thumbs down the sides of his neck, her eyes slightly out of focus and watching him with the faintest hint of a smile ghosting at her lips. It was a brief moment of something he couldn't define, but he would treasure it till the end of his days. Then Sasuke closed her eyes and shifted her knees, resting her forehead against Sakura's and setting her hands on his shoulders.

Sakura smiled, wistful for whatever it was he could feel slipping away, and gave a soft laugh for the warmth that still lingered behind. Grabbing generous handfuls of Sasuke's ass, he bent his knees a bit and tilted his head forward to brush his lips against her open mouth.

"Scream," he whispered, nipping at her bottom lip.

Black eyes snapped open, and the rest of the world fell away in a torrent of motion and sensations. Everything was slick and tight, sweat rolling down in the cool night air to make the salty taste mingle with the tangy musky scents. It was primitive and carnal, a struggle for release and freedom that could only be brought on by grabbing hold and tangling limbs together. She started off hesitant and jerky, but when she found her rhythm he rolled his hips up to get that angle she was searching for.

It was skin slapping against skin, getting faster and harder as Sasuke finally started shouting, her eyes rolling back as her face twisted into a mask of furious concentration that bordered on painful. Her rhythm faltered as she cursed and ordered, her body too wracked to obey her demands with the over-stimulation that had been going on and on and on. Sakura took over, shifting their positions quickly and getting that pace back before Sasuke lost sight of that third wave looming in the distance.

He knew what that stunned realization was like, being able to feel the orgasm creeping into your blood like liquid gold and instinctively knowing the unbelievable glowing warmth seeping through your skin was going to pitch you up into a place you never thought existed. He understood that, and as he thrust into the body that rocked beneath him and clawed at his back until she could hook her leg over his shoulder and dig her heel into the back of his neck, he felt an astonishing amount of power.

She was wrapped around him like a damn snare, but he was the one driving her to it. He bowed to every command she gave, and he watched her fall apart and scream in helpless abandon. Her climax tightened around him, surging and thrumming and bucking, and he followed her down into the blinding clarity of release.

When he drifted back into himself, gasping for air and letting his trembling arms fold in so he could hunch over Sasuke's heaving chest and let her leg slide off his shoulder, he didn't even try to think of anything to say. His vision was foggy and he blinked to clear it, surprised at the moisture that fell and merged with the sweat dripping off the end of his nose. But that surprise was nothing compared to the fingers combing through his hair and the voice slurring words that almost sounded like a vague attempt at a comforting tone.

"Don't fall asleep on me, damn it," Sasuke mumbled. "We're going to fall out of this stupid tree if we sleep here. We have to get back to the cabin."

"Fuck me..." Sakura groaned, slumping onto his hip and wiggling his toes to try to dispel the pins and needles prickling his useless legs.

"No. I've had enough for tonight."

"Shut up," he snerked, forcing his body to listen to him and push him back onto his knees where he sat dazedly on his heels.

"You look like a train wreck," Sasuke snorted with a touch of amusement.

"Kiss my ass, so do you," Sakura retorted with a weary grin, then took a deep breath and held out his hand. "Come on, lets hobble back home so we can pass out properly."

Sasuke grunted and took his hand, heaving herself up so she could swing her legs over the branch and drop to the ground. Sakura followed suit, scrubbing his face and focusing his chakra to enhance his vision enough to find his scattered clothing easily. He passed the 'half-yukata' to Sasuke, then fumbled into his boxers before shoving his arms through the open jacket and slung his belt over his shoulder. Scowling down at his legs, he kneaded the muscles and tried to shake out the prickly feeling that just wouldn't go away.

"Are you coming?" Sasuke asked over her shoulder a few meters away, the dark cloth draped around her like a cloak.

Sakura nodded and shrugged at his uncooperative legs, stretching the slightly wobbly limbs out into an easy walk to get the blood flowing again. He didn't expect the short stroll back to the cabin would sap him of his strength, nor did he expect a slender arm to loop around his waist as he stopped yet again to catch his breath. And by the time they entered the open field surrounding the house, he was leaning heavily against Sasuke as his head swam. He couldn't really make out what Naruto was saying as the blonde sprinted toward them, but the last thing he remembered clearly was being confused by the dark shadows around her gold eyes.

When Sakura woke up, his head was throbbing painfully and it felt like his eyelids were being peeled off by too much bright light. He grumbled and hunched his shoulders petulantly, squirreling his head deeper under the blanket and snuggling closer to the warm body in front of him. His movements caused a groggy reply, but the arm over his shoulders drew him closer and there was a contented sigh in his hair as the body relaxed into slumber again.

Wait...why was there a body right next to him?

Snapping his eyes open, he winced immediately at the glaring sunlight and spent the next few minutes blinking until he could make out a dark shirt over a broad chest, a lean muscled tan arm, a defined jaw line below whisker-marked cheeks, and scruffy blonde hair. Another full minute passed as he absorbed all that information with dizzying comprehension. Then he sat bolt upright, looked down at his chest, and squealed like a 12 year-old girl. Naruto flew out from under the blanket, Sasuke doing the same thing from HER (HER HER HER HER HER!) other side, the two young MEN (YES! FUCK YES MEN!) crouched and ready for an attack as they blinked owlishly in the sunshine.

"Wha...?" Naruto asked blearily.

"I have breasts!" Sakura shouted...no...PROCLAIMED to the world at large, clutching her jacket protectively around her chest and kicking her legs in unrestrained glee.

"Huh...?" Naruto continued intelligently, blinking as he flumped down to the ground when it became clear to his addled mind that there was no life-threatening attack.

Sasuke teetered on his feet for a moment, shaking his head and scowling at no one until he turned his mulishly unhappy gaze toward his teammates.

"HOLY SHIT, I HAVE A DICK AGAIN!" Naruto crowed at the top of his lungs, pulling the waistband of his boxers out so he could peer down between his legs with a giddy watery smile. "Welcome back, little man! I missed you so much!"

Sakura snickered and giggled, too happy to even care about propriety as she drew her legs up and wrapped her arms around her shins. She and Naruto both looked up at Sasuke expectantly. There was a significant pause that only seemed to make one of them uncomfortable.

"...I'm going to go take a shower..." Sasuke groused as his cheeks flushed, stalking off toward the cabin and throwing a dirty look over his shoulder as his teammates roared with delighted laughter and didn't bother to hide the fact that they were openly staring at his decidedly well-toned ass in the somewhat form-fitting slacks he'd been hiding under his 'man-skirt'.


END


[ It only took me three chapters and 30,000 words to technically fill this prompt, I AM OBVIOUSLY A GENIUS AT BREVITY! XD Gah, the yuri scene is a slight fail, but I didn't want it to get boring and repetitive with the outside POV narration. My apologies! =(

I would like to say thank you all so much for following, favoriting, reviewing, and reading! This story was a very challenging task, so it means the world to me that you enjoyed any part of it! =D

Ah, and a note to Confusing Ratman: I'm so sorry, but I couldn't really do any of those things in this story. This was a prompt request from another site, and all they actually asked for was...well, smut. XD I kind of went above and beyond that because I had to find an entertaining way to rationalize this particular gender-swap pairing in order for me to simply be able to write it. Your suggestion is certainly a possibility, and it would definitely cause a lot of hilariously awkward chaos. However, someone else will have to write it, because I don't think I'll be continuing this past what the prompter asked for. =)

So, if anyone does want to pick up where this story left off, or just take the idea and run with it however you like, you are more than free to do so! =D ]