A/N: I didn't really feel like posting today, but after going to the doctors, and seeing a really amazing doctor with a stethescope and pinstripe button-up with the top three buttons undone... well, I mean, it brightened my day.

Oh, and I got my cast off. :D I've got a brace that I'll have to keep on, but it's far more comfortable than that plaster.


We're all alone in the city
My hands are stoned with pity
I could get by or get high with fifty yeah
And I, I, I, don't feel pretty
Today

—OTEP; Otep Shamaya; House of Secrets


My sleep was completely solid that night, no dreams about being found out, no thoughts of what I would do once I entered college, just a fitful night's rest.

I woke up too early, and I avoided my reflection in the mirror as I took a shower. I washed every inch of my body before I stepped out and pulled on jeans and a large sweatshirt. It was raining, and I just didn't feel like getting all dolled up and wearing argyle like an academic scholar today.

There was no one at school when I arrived, so I sat on the wooden bench and watched the rare sunrise before it was completely consumed by thick grey cumulous clouds.

A car door rang from the parking lot and I looked up to see him there.

He was standing by his car door, hands wrapped around his keys, and stock still. His shoulders were a little tense, but he kept his usually calm appearance.

This was the first time we'd come in contact at school without others around. It was strange, to have the scent of the school in my nose, but seeing him see me at the same time. Some things just don't fit together.

His steps were slow as he neared me, his movements cautious, but still swift and complete. He sat a few feet away from me on the bench and I cleared my throat before speaking.

"Hi," I mumbled.

He only nodded, his head bobbing twice before staring at the wall in front of him. It wasn't awkward with us, it rarely was, but it was just this forbidden sense of danger that kept us so apart from the other.

"Hey," he finally murmured. I looked up and he was already staring at me, his green eyes calm and placated.

"Hmm?"

His fingers dug in his pants pockets and he pulled out a small watch before tossing it to me.

"You left it over a while ago, and I just remembered."

"Why did you bring it?" I asked, looking at the little silver facet over the minute and hour hands.

"I don't know, I just saw it on my dresser." He shrugged, his eyes going back to the brick wall in front of us. "You're the only one I know who wears a watch." He smiled; I caught a glimpse of his tooth, the one that pushed out a bit more than the others.

"My phone's clock isn't always reliable," I said, not looking away from the little tooth peeking out.

"I know, I'm surprised you can use its keyboard."

"Yours isn't much better, you know."

"I know, but I don't constantly drop mine."

"I fall! I can't help it." I laughed at the end, despite my want to be serious with him. It just seemed unnecessary to be angry.

"Yeah, because you're always tripping in the hallways,"

"That's because Jacob pulls too hard." I snapped my mouth shut, realizing that the proverbial elephant had just entered the conversation.

His jaw hardened and his fists curled up, one of the knuckles snapping as he did so. Edward hated Jacob as much Jacob hated him. He didn't speak to me for six weeks when I accepted Jacob's invite to dinner.

At that point, we both caved, since I had been dry for that whole time, and Edward didn't seem to get his fill of whoever he'd been with.

We sat there and stared at the wall, not making any movements besides breathing. A car pulled into the parking lot, and soon more filtered in along with it.

So Edward stood and went around the overhang to the back of the school. The rest of the day went on without incidence.

Jacob met me at first period, he complained about this and that. He also had a welt on his shoulder from someone ramming him at practice—I missed that, too.

Unfortunately, since my conversation with Edward my body had been on hyper drive. My legs shook all day, and my knees knocked with incessant force to create any kind of friction.

I bit my lip a lot, too. The subconscious telltale sign that I needed a good release.

This was the worst part about my predicament. In the time between when Edward pounded away at me I had to hold in all the painful wanting that went through me.

Being a constantly horny teenage girl who couldn't touch the guy who was her boyfriend was finally kicking in. It was easier when we didn't have to ask each other when they were busy or not. Edward had a life, and I chose to avoid my non-existent social one.

I caved around lunch; I went into the bathroom and typed out a message with shaking fingers.

When are you... free?

I snapped my phone shut and sat on a toilet in the empty bathroom. A few seconds later my phone buzzed and I opened it.

Now. I have something tonight to do. Meet me in the basement in three minutes.

Was he serious? My right leg kicked up from its even knocking and flipped my phone to the ground.

I didn't care at this point.

I grabbed the back that fell off my phone and walked out of the bathroom in a rush. The roar of the cafeteria drifted away as I neared the stairs to the lower level with the auto and graphic art class rooms.

I stood by the water fountains and fidgeted impatiently. The door across the way opened slowly and Edward's head peeked out.

"Come on!" he whispered.

I didn't hesitate to run into the room and once I was in he locked the door behind us. The window was open, letting in a nice breeze and the lights were off.

"Did you come in through the window?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yep." He popped the p while he shrugged out of his jacket and hopped up on the large mahogany desk.

I nodded lazily as I eyed him. His head tilted and his palm rubbed across the skin of his neck before he looked at me, square in the eye.

"We gonna do this?" he asked.

I nodded eagerly, walking over while his hands went to my hips. My eyes shut instantly and his lips were on my neck quickly. We fell into rhythm easily, his tongue moved down to my collarbone and his hands had my jeans around my ankles in no time.

I threw my head back and whimpered into the air as his hand palmed my chest from outside my sweatshirt.

"Shh… there's a class across the hall…" he murmured into my throat. I bit my lip and pushed my hips forward into his leg.

He stood up, his hands leaving my chest and going to my panties before tugging them down my legs and kneeling underneath me. My right leg was over his left shoulder in the same movement.

He didn't pause, or look at me, or say anything cocky or pleasant, he just licked my inner thigh while his fingers snaked upwards and pushed and tugged at my clit. My stomach dropped out and I arched my back while falling back onto the desk.

When I was sitting on the desk, he spread my legs out and completely shoved his tongue inside of me. I screamed out before he threw his jacket at me. He didn't stop, but his eyes, warning me.

So I pushed my face into his jacket and screamed bloody murder into the soft material. His tongue pulsed and fucked me with amazing vigor, and I wanted more.

"Unn… Ah, Edward…" I could hear how weak my voice was, but at that moment, his teeth pinched my clit and started to roll his tongue around the part that was in his mouth.

My eyes rolled back into my head and I was lost to a fiery blaze behind my eyelids. My body seized and I shook while I felt warmth drip down and coat my ass and probably the desk.

I felt his tongue swipe at my clit once more before he stood up. He lounged patiently in front of me while I sat up. His face had no emotion, just a palate of features and his dark emerald eyes were tired. As always, the usual.

"Do you want…?" I raised my eyebrows and he shook his head, pulling his phone out and looking at the screen.

"No, I'm good. Lunch is over in two minutes, I'll leave so no one sees."

He turned on his heel, not giving me one glance as he left the room. I pursed my lips and then shrugged to myself. Suit yourself, I thought. I couldn't even be offended by him just walking out; I'd done it more than my fair share of times.

I grabbed my panties and jeans and tugged them up my legs, and with a post-coital grin I took Edward's jacket that he'd left and threw it in my bag.

I'd save that as an excuse for more another time.

Jacob waited impatiently in his chair when I walked into class, his foot hammering away at the ground in a nervous habit.

"Where were you?" He asked tersely, but at the same time it was a calm and even tone that elicited a polite curiosity.

"The nurse, I wasn't feeling too well." I lied coolly.

My palms became clammy, but that was the only sign that I wasn't telling the truth. I'd become better at this throughout the years. Lying to a cop that also happened to be your dad forces the body to keep calm and make sure that your pulse doesn't thud at each artery.

Edward wasn't very low-key when he'd tried to sneak into my room at night. Sure, it was a quicky, but his foot usually caught on the lip of my window and he'd ended up falling to the floor and rolling under my bed while Charlie came in and asked what the hell was going on.

So I'd come up with the standard answer "Oh, nothing dad, just rolled out of my bed." And then show him the big red mark on my arm that I'd just made by bashing my wrist into the nightstand.

But it was okay, because for my pain I was rewarded a mind-shattering fuck beyond my body's capacity.

"Alright," Jacob mumbled. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yep, tons," I grinned at him, something uncharacteristic of me, and he grinned back boyishly.

"So, listen, I was thinking that maybe you could come over after school. Football's cancelled because of the torrential downpour that's going on outside, the field is all mud you know. Billy won't be home, he's out with my sister until tomorrow."

"I've got that Spanish project to work on, though…"

"It's not due until the end of the week. Please, Bells, it's been forever since we hung out. Besides, it's raining and we can stay inside."

My stomach sank at the innuendo laced in his voice. Uh oh.

"Um, I—I guess, if we're just going to hang out." I drifted off at the end, looking back at the board where there was a line of notes waiting to be copied.

The rest of class I tried to hide my sweaty palms and the shaking in my arms, but I just ended up sitting on my hands and staring wide eyed at the white board in front of me. What the hell was I going to do?

It had been close to two months since Jacob and I had been together. He was probably expecting—with centripetal force—an orgasm from me or from him. I could probably do my part and work my magic on him, but could I really stand the friction of him crushing my pelvis with his?

My thighs were still bruised, too… and I was pretty sure that Edward left a hicky somewhere down there. Maybe I could get him to keep the lights off.

Jacob never pushed for anything, but maybe if I did something unordinary he'd go easier and be appreciative of it… what the hell was I thinking? Jacob was a teenage boy, when given the opportunity to fuck his girlfriend without restraints he'd go all for it!

"Are you okay, Bells? You look all jumpy." He asked as I parked my truck in my driveway and climbed into his rusted car.

"I just don't feel too well. My stomach hurts pretty badly." I threw in a grimace for affect. "I'm sorry I won't be much fun, I think I ate something bad."

He chuckled lightheartedly and his right hand reached out for my left. I sighed in relief when his large warm hand encompassed mine and thought that I might get away with this.

"So, you know, colleges are coming by next week," he stated in the comfortable silence.

"Yeah, I heard about that on the announcements."

"Yeah, and it's too bad the field's soaked so they won't see us play. But it's a good thing that I can spend time with you. We haven't really been together in a while."

His lips curled into a smile, and I immediately caught onto what he was hinting. My eyes closed and I faced the window.

We pulled into his driveway and he drove into the little garage that he'd spent so much time on. We walked into the dark house and he went to the couch to grab a DVD and the remote.

The movie wasn't anything special, but I knew it was a set up. Boring movies usually led to us making out or little favors in between scenes. My eyes closed again and I sighed. I couldn't wait for him to make a move if I wanted this to be quick.

While he set up the on screen menu I sat beside him and snuggled into his side, clearing my throat a little.

"I'm sorry I haven't been a very good girlfriend," I whispered into his ear, my fingers moving to the hair at the back of his neck.

Jacob shivered, but I didn't smile in victory. Even if my mouth didn't touch Edward, I still felt guilty about it. I liked to wait at least over night before I went to either one.

"No, you've been a great girlfriend, Bella. Football is just so hectic and coach wants us to be completely ready before our games."

"Still, I always miss your games and I want to make it up in some way…"

His hand touched my shoulder as I slid off the couch and kneeled before him. I couldn't look at him while I did this. I would feel guiltier than all hell thinking about how I'd seen some other guy in the same position with the same look and also the same hate for the other person I wasn't with.

I didn't bother to play around. I undid the button and fly with professional fingers once his dick was fully out I pushed my mouth over it. Jacob groaned, and I moved my mouth and hands in sync.

I was too good at this. Every guy was the same, well, the two that I'd been with anyway. I tilted my head so I was eye-level with his pubic bone and so that he'd be so overcome with the new sensations he wouldn't care that I wasn't looking at his face.

I popped my lips over the head, and then felt his dick jump in my hands. I moved my mouth and pumped while his whole body shuddered and jerked violently. His cum got all over the couch and his pants, but none of it hit me.

Jacob sighed heavily before pulled me up and kissing the top of my head. We both watched the movie and didn't say another word until night fell and he drove me home.

The usual… the absolute usual.


A/N: Please don't flame for Jacob and Bella action. If anything flame for the plot line, please, or even my writing, but not that. That's kind of why I was apprehensive to post this story, lots of controversy and all that jazz-ola.

And if it makes any difference, there was Edward action, too. :)

I don't think I say enough about Otep Shamaya, she's my muse, and her lyrics and poetry inspire me to unspeakable degrees. The few times I've met her she stopped to talk and was really amazing. So, you'll see a lot of lyrics from the band OTEP and probably some from her poetry. Little Sins is my book of choice, though Caught Screaming is the more famous of the two. :)

Don't forget to review!