Ok I lied, I know I said that there'd be Barry/Oliver scenes in this chapter but then I realized that I had much more to write before that happens, BUT I swear it will happen (most likely next chapter).
Also WARNING for this chapter: it gets a bit gory at some parts
but anyways please like and leave COMMENTS, they make me really happy!
Barry never did it when he was at home, he didn't want to taint Joe's house with his patheticness. He was disgusting, revolting. Barry was the person who ruined people's lives because of his own selfishness. He knew that now. After Dante, after Caitlyn getting powers, and baby Sara. Everyone he came in contact with ends up being destroyed by him. He needed to feel all the pain that he caused to everyone else. Cisco kept telling him he deserved to die and Barry agreed. So when the rest of Team Flash left Star Labs at night Barry stayed behind, excusing himself to go train and that he'd be home later.
Barry then went to the bathroom and locked the door, just in case. He stood over one of the many sinks and looked at himself in the mirror.
You deserve this. He thought, remembering the look of hatred on Cisco's face when he had failed to catch the meta earlier that day. He was a failure, and failures had to get punished.
Then with one hand he held up a sharp razor and spread out his other arm.
He lowered the razor and moved it along his arm in a straight line, cutting into his skin and drawing blood. Barry couldn't help but let out a small cry of pain but quickly stopped himself. This is what he needed to feel.
Or did he?
One side of his brain told him to keep going while the other told him to stop hurting himself like this.
But then slowly he lowered the razor again and made another cut.
"Well, you called us all here and for what exactly?" Cisco asked Oliver with his arms crossed. It was past midnight on a random Tuesday when him and Felicity had told all of Team Flash to meet at Joe's house, and telling them that this was an important matter.
Oliver found himself not being able to fully look at Cisco after hearing everything he'd done to Barry, and one look at Felicity and it was obvious that she was feeling the same way.
"This is about Barry" Oliver said.
"Of course it is. What about him?" Cisco asked as if already bored with this conversation.
"Did something happen?" Joe asked. "Is he okay?"
"Where is Barry now?" Felicity asked.
"Star Labs" Caitlyn answered. "He's been staying late there almost every night to train, he says he needs to clear his head" she said thinking about Cisco yelling at him almost everyday.
"To train? How long has he been doing that?" Oliver asked.
"For a little over a month" Caitlyn replied.
"Ever since Flashpoint, he's probably been trying to avoid you guys". Felicity muttered, looking towards Oliver.
"You know about Flashpoint?" Iris asked. "How?"
Oliver then took a deep breath, knowing that this was never going to get any easier to tell the truth to Barry's family.
"There's something you all need to know, and it's the reason why me and Felicity came to Central City" Oliver started but then paused, feeling that he wasn't the right the person to tell them this information.
He looked towards Felicity once more and she seemed to understand what he wanted.
"Barry...he's not okay" She began, struggling to find the right words. "He's been really...hard on himself about what happened with Flashpoint" she looked towards Cisco when she said this. "He told me everything".
"Then you know what happened with my brother, you know that he's responsible for my brother's death?" He asked.
"I do know what happened but I also know that it's not Barry's fault, he made a mistake, but that doesn't mean he was the one that killed him" Felicity said.
"But-" Cisco started but she cut him off.
"I also know that whatever hate you may be feeling for Barry, it's nothing like the hate he's been feeling for himself!" Felicity didn't mean to yell, but all her frustration at Cisco for making Barry want to do those awful things to himself got out.
The whole room became quiet, then Iris spoke up. "What are you talking about, Felicity?" She asked thinking of Barry sobbing in the speedlab earlier that day.
"You guys don't know. Of course none of you would pay attention, to your best friend" she gestured to Cisco and Caitlyn. "Or your son, or brother" now looking at Joe, Iris and Wally.
"Know what?" Caitlyn asked, wanting to hear the truth.
"That Barry's been hurting himself" Felicity finally got out. The silence that followed was so deafening that you could've heard a pin drop. Everyone was trying to process what Felicity had just said. Barry, hurting himself? He'd never do that.
"How do you know?" Cisco asked surprisingly being the first one to break the silence. Although this time his tone was different then before, instead of angry and annoyed he sounded concerned, almost nervous.
"Barry came to me last week, he showed me his scars that he has on both of his arms, scars that he made himself. He said that everything was too much, he couldn't take the guilt anymore. Seeing you everyday Cisco, I don't think he could handle it anymore. He just broke" she finished sadly.
"So he's been hurting himself everyday...because of me?" Cisco said more to himself then to others. "I need to go find him" he said quickly thinking of Barry in Star Labs right now, when suddenly he got hit with a vibe.
He saw Barry, he was standing over a blood filled sink with tears running down his cheeks. Both of his arms were spread out wide over the sink as he watched the blood flow from his many wounds. Then he collapsed, on the floor unconscious.
Suddenly Cisco was pulled out from his vision and he looked around the room to all the people who were all staring at him.
"Cisco what did you see?" Caitlyn asked.
"Was it Barry?" He nodded.
"We need to get to Star Labs now, Barry's in trouble".
