Thoughts
Parseltongue
28 August 1994
I looked around my room one last time, my eyes scanning the empty shelves helplessly. I really didn't want to forget anything, Uncle Sirius said we weren't going to come back here again. And now that I thought about it, the thought of leaving really saddened me. This was my home, and it was all I knew.
But a large part of me was excited, exhilarated at leaving. At attending a real school. At being able to see my dad in person, at being able to fully interact with people my own age. I did have Tom with me, but I couldn't do much with him, plus he was 17, and the fact that I had just turned 14 was often rubbed in my face by him. I was younger, and thereby inferior and unable to do anything.
"So you're finally leaving then?" I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw Tom sitting on the bed.
Well, sitting was kind of the wrong word. Tom couldn't sit. He sort of...floated. His form, though it took the form of a teenage boy, had a bluish transparent hue, that twisted and thrived round the edges.
Tom and I didn't really know what he was. Tom suspected he was a fragment of himself...whatever himself was. He was bonded to me somehow. Wherever I went, he went. I was the only thing in the world that Tom could touch. Everything else, Tom passed through-like a ghost. Luckily, we were able to have a certain degree of distance between us. Tom had worked out that we could be about 5 miles apart before it start to hurt. 6 miles, then unbearable pain started to occur. For both of us.
It had been this way as long as I could remember. It annoyed Tom at first, being stuck with me. But, I think I grew on him. He definitely took a strong interest in my magic. In the unique way I wielded it.
I was especially glad that Tom eventually agreed to teach me things. We'd been taking lessons for 10 years now. Tom had taught me dark stuff, dark evil things that I knew I would only ever use if I had too. He'd taught me Runes, the ancient art of using them, the difficulty of pushing my magic and my will into the symbols. He'd taught me potions, though not from the textbook. Shortcuts, alternative methods that gave a stronger result. I had really enjoyed our lessons over the years.
Don't get me wrong, Uncle Moony was a brilliant teacher. He'd taught me everything up to a 7th year level, and very well. I knew and could practice many spells in defence, charms, transfiguration with an old wand from one of Sirius' vaults. He'd taught me how to brew textbook worthy potions and the importance of Wizarding history.
And Uncle Padfoot was brilliant too. He'd taught me the old fashioned Wizarding customs and behaviour. I was his heir after all. I had to learn how to hold myself as a pure blood princess around company.
They'd both told me of the past. About how I was a celebrity to the world. They explained my scar, and my father told me about my family. About my grandmother, who sacrificed herself for me. And about my mother and Dumbledore, who wanted to send me away.
I spoke with my father often, almost everyday. It was hard for both of us, not being able to hug or meet in person, but I still felt incredibly close to him, to all of them. I had also met my twin brother a handful of times. He seemed nice, I deduced, but he always seemed a little off. He was often quiet and seemed to stare.
I guess out of everyone, the person I was dreading to meet was my mother. The woman who tried to give me up and take me away from my family. Dad had asked me to give her a chance but part of me desperately didn't want to. Part of me hurt and stung in rejection.
"Don't you mean we're leaving? You know where I go, you go" I teased winking at him.
"Don't remind me, brat" his voice was cool but I could see the warmth in his eyes.
"Are you all packed?" I asked him.
"Did you pack the books I told you from the library?"
"The weird ones that you won't tell me about?"
"Yes"
"Yup, I packed those," I said, clicking my fingers.
My suitcases immediately floated into the air obediently behind me.
"I still wonder how you do that," said Tom, looking at me as though I were an interesting creature he'd stumbled upon.
"It just comes naturally" I winked at him.
"Oh, I almost forgot!" I exclaimed, going over to my window, and opening it.
"Thana, come now, we're leaving" I called, immediately spotting my black and gold python slithering towards the window.
"I still can't get over the fact that you named your snake after death" Tom hissed amusedly.
When Tom first discovered that I could speak Parseltongue, he was angry. He revelled in being unique and special and hated that I had taken that away from him. But eventually, he saw the bright side. Padfoot and Moony couldn't see Tom, so it would be strange for me to be talking to thin air. I would often talk to Tom in Parseltonge to disguise our conversations. They just thought I was talking to Thana.
Feeling something cold and heavy around my ankles, I looked down to see my beloved snake. Bending over, and offering my arm, Thana slithered up and rested in her favourite spot on my shoulders, the rest of her body wrapping loosely round my waist.
I had met Thana when I was 4 years old.
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Flashback:
Padfoot was out buying supplies and Moony was sleeping away the after effects of the full moon.
I sat cross legged opposite Tom in the grass in my very large garden, pulling my pink puffy dress over my knees, like Padfoot had told me to.
"Well don't you look cute today" Tom sneered sarcastically.
I smiled widely at him, misunderstanding his sarcasm.
"T'anks Tom!" I say, smiling delightedly at his compliment.
Tom hardly ever said anything nice.
"I didn't mean- oh never mind, brat. Where's that mutt uncle of yours?" He asked, standing up and brushing himself off.
"I don't have a mutt uncle" I said, my brow furrowing.
"Sirius, silly girl. Where is he?" Tom said impatiently.
"He's gone to get sup...sup...uhm sup-"
"Supplies?" Tom asked, amusedly.
"Yeah, those." I muttered, looking down as I felt my cheeks warming up. I hated it when I couldn't say words right.
"How about you and me go for a little wonder in the woods then" Tom said, daring me to show the fright I felt at going into the dark brush of trees at the end of the garden.
"Uhm...yeah! Yeah! That sounds fun!" I lied, trying to smile convincingly.
"Come on then," Tom said walking away.
"Tom, wait!" I chased after him, my little legs unable to keep up with his long strides.
"Yes, Rosa?" He smirked, using his nickname for me.
"If the monsters try to get me...will you, uhm, will you..." I stuttered
"Will I?" Tom stopped and raised an eyebrow.
We were just a couple of steps away from the woods now and I could feel my heart racing in my chest in fear.
"Will you protect me Tom?" I looked at him, tears in my eyes.
I braced myself, looking down at my white dolly shoes, expecting him to taunt me, or tell me to grow up and protect myself, when I felt something cold touch my small hand that was wringing my dress nervously.
Looking up at Tom, I felt a tear slide down my cheek and I watched as Tom brushed it away with his hand. Taking my hand in his, he smiled at me. It was soft, and barely there. But he did smile.
"Of course I will, Rosa" his voice was gentle, soothing.
Sniffling, I smiled a small smile at him. Feeling a lot braver now.
"We won't go far, there's a small clearing I want to show you, and then we can go, okay?" He assured me as he led me into the forest.
Before long, we came into a small meadow. It reminded me of the magic forests Moony had described to me in my favourite fairytales. The grass came up to my knees, gently swaying with the air that picked up my hair, blowing it around my head, tickling my cheeks. There were wildflowers dotted everywhere, in delicate pastel colours. Tom picked an especially beautiful lilac one and put it behind my ear, pushing my waist-length unruly hair behind my ear as he did so. I smiled radiantly at him, squeezing his hand in appreciation.
Tom sighed, a small smile on his face.
"It's very...odd" He said his eyes glazed over.
"What's odd Tom?" I asked curiously, smiling happily at this momentary lapse in his cold façade. He looked happy.
"This feeling you bring. The aura that surrounds you. It's so light and...warm. But not too bright, it's not blinding or scorching for me. I feel...fuzzy in your presence" His brow was furrowed now, as he looked down at me with a puzzled look on his face.
"You feel happy?" I asked hopefully.
"I don't feel happiness" his cold exterior was back again, and I was flooded with a wave of disappointment.
He led me to the middle of the clearing where a big boulder sat. The sun broke through the over brush trees and rested tenderly upon it, like a spotlight. Lifting me up and placing me on the boulder Tom smirked at me, clearing his throat.
"That wasn't so bad, was it?"
"No it wasn't! I really like the forest Tom!" I exclaimed excitedly.
All of a sudden, Tom got a strange look on his face.
"Stay here, I'll be right back" and before I could reply, he was gone.
Swinging my legs on the boulder, trying not to think about the fact that I was all alone, I started humming to myself.
"What is a young hatchling doing all alone in these woods?" The voice was strange, it was hissed, in a rather high pitch. I looked around me, searching for the source of the voice.
I jumped, as I spotted a large black and gold snake slithering along a branch directly above me.
"Hello there" I whispered to it, my eyes widening as my voice, too, sounded like a high pitched hiss.
"Ooh, a speaker! I have never met one of you before."
"You're a snake aren't you? How come you speak English? Are you magical? Can you do magic stuff?" I ask it excitedly, curiosity taking over any remaining fear.
"Little hatchling, though I am magical, my powers do not extend to speaking the tongue of humans. It is you who possesses the ability to speak the tongue of the serpent." It hissed, slithering onto my shoulders.
"I'm sorry, I don't really understand" I said apologetically.
"Little hatchling, you can speak to snakes. It is a rare talent" it was loosely circled around me in a circle now, its head resting on my shoulder.
"Wow! I can speak to snakes? That's so cool! I can't wait to tell Padfoot and Moony and-"
"Rosa! Stay very very still. Don't move!" Tom had never used this tone with me before. It was scary.
The snake turned to face him, taking an aggressive yet defensive pose in front of me, hissing and snapping at Tom threateningly.
"You will not touch her!" Tom's voice was deep and hissed, it terrified me.
"You will not harm my hatchling" The snake hissed back.
My eyes widened as I realised that Tom could speak to the snake too.
"Tom you can speak snake!" I hissed excitedly, giggling.
Tom's face went through 3 different stages of emotion within 5 seconds. First, shock, then anger, then his blank cool face was back on.
"I see. You were not in danger then. I was mistaken, my apologies" He turned and left without another word.
Panic set in immediately. My heart raced inside my chest, and my breathing picked up. Whimpering, I cried for Tom.
"Tom! Tom please! Please come back" Hot tears fall down my face like waterfalls.
I'd never felt so abandoned and alone.
Lying down on the boulder, I curled up into a little ball, holding myself. I was cold. So cold.
The sun was now nowhere to be seen, and there was a cold crisp air.
"There, there little hatchling. No need to cry" The snake hissed, wrapping its long body around the outline of my body, like a protective wall.
The snake was so long and thick that it covered my small body like a blanket. It was so warm and cozy. It's head came to rest on my shoulder.
"I'm scared." I whispered back.
"Why are you scared, silly girl"
"Monsters might get me"
"I will protect you, hatchling. You will always have my protection." It's words comforted me but I felt a little bit confused.
"Why?" I whispered
"We are connected. Familiars. I will protect you like my own"
"Like, we're family?"
"No, familiars"
"Is that family?" I asked, my brow furrowed.
The snake let out a short sigh.
"Yes, hatchling. We are family"
I smiled widely in happiness, not feeling so alone anymore.
"Yay! What's your name?" I asked, tracing its lovely scales with my fingertips.
"I don't have a human name. I am female though."
"You have to have a name! I'll think of one"
I thought long and hard and remembered the interesting muggle books uncle Moony had read me the other day. It was about these really powerful beings called gods. I remembered my favourite god, Thanatos, who was the god of death.
"I know! Thana!" I exclaimed excitedly.
"I like it. Does it have a meaning in your language?"
"It's a girl version of the name of the god of death!"
"God of death? I like it" She hissed, pleased.
Smiling dazedly, my eyelids drooping. Suddenly realising how tired I was, I yawned and let my eyes slide closed. Feeling safe and secure.
End of Flashback
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"Rosalie Potter! You'll be late to meet your father in a minute, get down here!" Padfoot shouted up the stairs, snapping me out of my reverie.
"Just coming!" I called back, hoisting Thana into the dip of my curves so she was comfier to carry.
Walking out the room without a second glance, I walked down the staircase, my suitcases floating behind me in tow.
"Finally! Honestly, women are always late!" Padfoot whined impatiently.
I rolled my eyes, strolling over the the large fireplace.
"So, who's going first?" I asked, grabbing a handful of floo powder.
"Maybe I should, you haven't done this before. You've only watched us do it, it's a complicated procedure and-"
"Uncle Moony!" I whined. He worried far too much. Taking the floo was not complicated in the least, and I watched Uncle Padfoot and him do it nearly every day. I could do this.
"Okay, okay. Just make sure you say it with clarity and meaning, and make sure you-"
"Blah, blah, blah" I say walking to stand in the fireplace.
"Insolent girl" Tom taunted standing behind Sirius.
Rolling my eyes, I threw the floo powder down.
"Diagon Alley" I said, firmly as clearly as I could. Green fire enveloped me and with a big flash of light.
/Floo Travel/
I blinked rapidly, trying to adjust my eyes to the setting around me. The smell of freshly baked pastry drifted into my nose and my mouth involuntarily watered. My vision slowly came to me as coloured dots of white, cream, red, green and blue. The sound of many murmured voices and hearty chuckles filled my ears. Shaking my head of the aftermath of the floo, I realised that I felt rather dizzy and sick. How had Moony and Padfoot done this so often? This was one of the worst sensations of my life.
Stumbling like a drunk woman, I walked away from the fireplace, my hands flailing about, feeling for some kind of gravity bound object to hold myself to.
"Watch yourself there, love" I heard Tom's smug voice behind me
"Shut your mouth" I hissed through my teeth, my stomach churning as the world around me span.
My eyesight fully returned to me and I realised I was in a pub. At least, I think that's what it was. I wasn't too sure. I'd never seen a pub before, but I'd heard many stories of one called "Three Broomsticks" from Sirius and Remus, when they told me of their many Hogwarts adventures as the Marauders.
Taking three deep breaths, and steadying myself, I became aware that my surroundings had become very, very quiet. Looking around, I saw that most people in the Pub had turned to stare at me.
I smiled lightly as I realised that they were all from the Wizarding community. They were all dressed in velvet robes, some with pointed hats to match. Some held newspapers in which I could see moving pictures on the front. I slowly turned in a circle, taking in every tiny detail of my surroundings, my heart fluttering as I came to terms with the fact that I was, indeed, outside of my house for the first time in 13 years.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, savouring the delicious but slightly musky smell of the Pub.
"You do realise that you look like a complete and utter moron, right?" Tom's voice broke me out of my daydream.
"You always have to ruin it for me, don't you?" I whispered, keeping my eyes shut.
"I was trying to warn you. Half of the people here look ready to whisk you off straight to at this rate" He huffed back.
"Rosalie?" A new voice queried, causing my eyes to snap open immediately.
About a metre in front of me, stood a pair of familiar hazel eyes framed in thin-wired round glasses. A gentle smile, framed by delicate lines rested on his face. His thick black hair lay on his head in a mess of curls, much like a shorter version of my own mane.
"Daddy?" My voice quivered
"Oh my god, Rose" and with that, he closed the distance, enveloping me in his arms.
Tears blurring my vision, I rested my head on his shoulder. His smell was so familiar. Slightly musky and Woodsy. He smelt like the forest that sat outside my house. Squeezing him tight, I let myself relax at the familiarity of his embrace.
"James?" I heard Padfoot's voice behind me.
Pulling away from my dad, I stepped away knowing how much Padfoot and Moony needed this. They had missed my Dad so much. Don't get me wrong, we all spoke almost every night over the two way mirror, but it wasn't the same.
My uncles and dad hugged each other, contented smiles on each of their faces. I couldn't help the beaming smile that found its way onto my face. Though not blood related, theses men were, in every way, brothers. I only hoped I would be able to find friends who I could be this close with.
The whispers and gasping broke me out of my happy daze as I realised that everyone in the pub had their undivided attention on us. It looked as though they were struggling to decide who to keep their flabbergasted gaze on. Me or Uncle Padfoot.
Moony had warned me of this. He'd told me almost every night since we found out about the capture of Wormtail, that most of the world thought that I was dead. Stolen away by my murderous, deranged godfather. It hurt my heart to think that anyone would ever think that Padfoot, my Padfoot, could be evil. It hurt even more that the whole world had spent 13 years believing that he had hurt me. All Uncle Sirius had ever done was love and care about me. By Merlin, I couldn't say the same for my own mother.
"Rosalie? Rosalie Potter?"
"The Rosalie Potter? No way."
"She's been dead for 13 years!"
"She looks the exact same! It is her!"
"Impossible!"
The whispers got louder, and I couldn't help but frown. I didn't like this much attention, it was too overwhelming. Breathing deeply, I tried not to notice the gawking strangers around me.
Looking back at my uncles and father, I noticed that they were looking at me too.
"You're...you're all grown up Rosie..." His voice broke in the middle, and I walked over to my dad, hugging him again.
He laughed breathily, hugging me back.
"You've still got it, kid" He said in relief
I pulled away, looking at him curiously.
"Got what?"
"That...that thing you do!"
My brow furrowed.
"What thing?"
"Never mind, I'll explain it to you later. Now, we are shopping for your school supplies" Dad smiled at me.
"Wait, I'm going to Hogwarts this year?" I asked in confusion.
"James? I thought she was going to start next year? I've taught her to a seventh year level, she can just start and do her NEWTs and then leave" Moony butted in
"I want her to have the proper experience, the experience we had. It's sad that she's already missed out on 3 years at Hogwarts, I don't want her to miss out on anymore" Dad looked at me sadly.
I bit my lip nervously. Part of me really did want to go to Hogwarts. The stories Moony, Padfoot, Dad and Tom told me about it made it seem so magical. It was my birthright. But on the other hand, I was scared. I'd had little to no social interaction with other people, let alone people my own age. The only person I really had was Tom, and his cool, antisocial demeanour certainly didn't help matters.
"I'm not sure dad..." I looked at him with worry
"What's the matter doe?" He asked, using his favourite nickname for me.
"What if...what if people don't like me" My voice whispered.
I felt ashamed. I knew I shouldn't care what other people think, Tom had drilled this into my mind since I could talk. I hated my weakness. But I couldn't help it. Growing up, knowing that my mother didn't want me, knowing that she wanted to send me away...it hurt. It stung and weighed heavily in my heart. I tried not to think about it much, instead focussing on the positives. But the horrible sting of rejection was forever burnt into my soul and I couldn't help but feel as though I were never good enough.
It was a good thing, really. It pushed me to be better, train harder. It pushed me to learn, to excel in everything I did, much as Tom had when he was younger. He hadn't divulged much to me about his childhood. He'd told me bits and pieces when I was little. But the majority I found out about him was through my dreams. The connection we had brought me into his memories, and I knew most things about Tom. I knew he wasn't a wholly good person, killing a girl and framing it on someone else, but some unexplainable force made it impossible to hate him.
I couldn't view him as a bad person. He was like a brother to me. I loved him.
"Rose..." the horror in all my families eyes snapped me out of my thoughts.
Even Tom looked furious. I looked down, knowing how weak he thought I was.
"How could anyone not like you?" Padfoot asked, flabbergasted.
I just shrugged, taking in the very interesting details of the worn wood planked floor.
"Rose, look at me." I looked up into my Dads warm hazel eyes.
"No one, and I repeat no one will not like you. It's impossible to not like you" He said in all seriousness.
"You're just saying that..." I muttered.
"I'm not. Listen to me Rose, just listen to me. You are so special. Your mother and I noticed it from the day you were born. You're luminescent, your skin has this faint glow. And your eyes...oh doe, your eyes. They're the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. You radiate with this light, this warming soothing light, and it's so pure and happy, it could make the saddest, most lonely person feel loved. You emit love and happiness everywhere you go and it surrounds you in this aura and it touches the hearts of everyone around you." Tears blurred my vision as his words sunk in.
I smiled at him radiantly, a single tear falling down my cheek.
"And that smile. I think it could light even the darkest of rooms" Dad smiled back at me.
"And touch even the darkest of hearts" I heard Tom mutter from across the room.
Knowing that he probably didn't want me to hear it, I let his slip go. I didn't feel like antagonising him today.
"Okay, well, what do I need for Hogwarts?" I asked, giving a small smile.
"Well, first I'd like to get your your first wand" Dad said, his eyes sparkling in excitement.
"Yes! Pup finally gets her first wand!" Sirius whooped, leading us out of the pub.
Blinking rapidly at the bright light of day, it took my eyes a couple of seconds to adjust, after being in such a dark place for so long.
I couldn't help but smile in amazement at the settings around me.
It was everything I had ever dreamed of.
A/N:
So this is my first ever story on here I started writing this on wattpad and didn't really like the way it was going, so here it is! It's going to have a slow start as you can tell but should pick up soon. I'll have the next chapter up tonight or tomorrow! Review if you like it
-D.I.T.S
