"What..."
The party music fading gradually with each step taken forward, a small parcel held firmly in his grip as he moved. Quietly skulking down the hallways, Neji crept up to his room making sure that he wasn't followed.
He really needed this moment to calm himself.
After cautiously looking about his surrounding he pressed open his door and shut it carefully so as not to alert anyone who may have been near, noting the creak as it was closed.
The room itself was dark, cept for the rays of moonlight that leaked through his thankfully closed bedroom window. The light bounced off the thin frames and created a trail from the wall itself to his bed. The few rays of light coupled with the darkness on the walls shown a sickly gray coloring surrounding him.
He dared not turn on the light to blatantly announce his whereabouts.
He'd go back in a few minutes anyway.
Once he designated himself to be in the solitude of his own room he released a broken sigh of relief and nearly fell to his knees. Resigning himself to just slowly slide down the door as he clutched the fabric of his shirt in confusion.
He could feel his heart racing.
"What was that...?"
He sat on the floor, the gift still secure in his hands as he breathed in near panic, "you can feel me...! What was that supposed to mean...?"
He could feel his cheeks burn as he recalled how close Gaara had come as he whispered that into his ear. How his smaller body had leaned close and almost pressed against him with a voice that...
"Damn it!" He gripped his shirt hard, mentally growling, "Don't think such things! Gaara doesn't mean it like that I'm sure."
It wasn't to far off to say that Gaara had never done or said something even relative to his last statement, if anything it were a normal occurrence.
Just that thought was enough to make him seethe with want.
Neji felt a warm fluttering in his chest that he quickly beat down, nearly screaming, "He doesn't mean it!"
It wasn't really his fault, how can anyone not take words like that in that way. It was nearly impossible if you even knew the possibilities of what it could mean.
At the same time Gaara really wasn't at fault for saying them as well. He had never really known the difference.
Gaara was just Gaara...
He was impervious to shame of any kind.
It seemed, from what Neji had heard from Gaara's siblings, he became devoid of any emotion or sense of the meaning of certain words when he was still very young.
Anything relative to affection, intimacy, much less love he was completely oblivious to.
And it was entirely their father's fault.
Forcing himself to calm down, Neji placed the gift on the floor next to him and pressed his hand to his forehead.
He had to stop thinking such things.
He had to...
This couldn't be healthy...
Gaara wasn't serious on speaking of...of...
Neji felt his heart pound again.
"Stop it," he berated himself.
He tried to convince himself, he knew it was true but his treacherous body wouldn't obey.
For several moments, Neji stayed still listening to his breaths as his heart rate finally started to calm.
He could feel the hard thuds against his chest gently return to its normal pace.
Neji was thankful for his stubborn willpower.
He just barely stopped himself from enduring an embarrassing situation.
"Gaara," he murmured to himself, bring his thoughts elsewhere. Away from the unsettling words of the day.
Was it hard to believe that Neji may have had the slightest, ever so slightly...
Itsy-bitsy...
Microscopic...
Tiny little feeling of attraction towards the redhead?
Was it?
If asked he certainly would deny but Neji could never really convince himself as well as he could others.
He liked Gaara...
He may even love Gaara...just a little...
Neji shook his head vigorously, settling on slowly making himself stand again.
Gaara could never love him though...
Neji felt a dull ache pang in his chest.
Never...
He carefully picked the gift up with both hands and got to his feet. Gradually he made his way over to his bed, taking slow steps to prevent any unpleasant situation.
Neji was neat...that didn't mean that his invasive family members were.
Coupled with how dark certain areas of his room were, he could easily end up on his face.
He pressed his right hand into the mattress once he had "safely" reached it before sitting down quietly, stretching his arms in boredom.
Gaara doesn't know how to love, not real love anyway.
Think on past experiences with the redhead made Neji deeply upset.
He really didn't know.
Neji sighed placing the box next to him and whispered, "I wouldn't mind teaching him though."
He lay back on his bed and added, "I wouldn't mind teaching him everything."
Neji chuckled tiredly.
"I finally get time to myself and now I can't stop thinking of him."
Neji thought back to when he had first met the silent boy, it had been a year ago today. Unfortunately it had also been a love at first sight accident, in a sense at least.
Neji had noticed the red hair from the walkway, following his most exuberant and overall insane friend. Naruto had brought Gaara along to his last birthday party to introduce the two of them, being the nosy little boy he is.
Neji couldn't understand why everyone took it upon themselves to invade his personal life.
So Neji didn't have a girlfriend...or boyfriend for that matter...
Why was it so abso-freakin-lutely important!?
It was almost comical; Neji had expected Gaara to be one of those easy surprised, entertained, excited, happy people.
He slightly expected him to be like Naruto...
How wrong he was, god forbid they were polar opposites.
Only goes to show how Neji's friendship circle had become so...diverse because of the psychotic blond.
It had been near shocking when Gaara had in a way snubbed him. Just greeting him once they reached the door and then what seemed like blatantly ignored him.
Never talking to him and only Naruto, it had become annoying...slightly only slightly.
If this person was coming to his party, he'd expect him to actually talk with him.
When Neji was about to demand why he was being ignored due completely to his pride, Naruto had gone between the two and finally introduced them.
What an idiot...
It seemed like only then did Gaara even notice his presence. As if a bell had gone off in his head and Neji was the one pulling the strings.
Naruto's explanation had been that Gaara was painfully shy but after talking a little with him, Neji found that to be an absolute load of bull.
Gaara wasn't shy, like hell he was.
Granted he may not have seemed to enjoy talked a lot...with anyone actually but he would speak and carry on a good conversation.
He'd answer about anything you'd ask, Neji wasn't sure if everything was the appropriate answer because he hadn't been as bold as to go that far.
Afterwards the blond maniac had proceeded to tell Gaara of a large number of embarrassing things Neji would have liked to keep quiet. Why did Naruto always have to be around when something awful was going to happen to him...?
"It has been a full year since then," Neji murmured to himself.
Neji hadn't even attempted to ask Gaara out, Neji wasn't even completely sure why he liked him so much in the first place.
Maybe it was his face.
Maybe it was the way his stare penetrated him.
Maybe it was because of how Gaara's eye always seem to draw his attention, to draw him in regardless of what he was doing.
Maybe it was the way his hair shined in the afternoon sun.
There was a lot of possible maybes to answer to.
Despite that, within in his mind he had a good reason for not asking.
Gaara, for lack of a better word, was lifeless.
Completely and utterly lifeless to the point where he literally did not speak unless spoken to.
He didn't do anything unless told to and those beautiful eyes of his were always empty.
It was almost like he really was dead inside.
Neji had only noticed after he'd found that he was falling for the boy.
The part of Neji's mind that was obsessed with Gaara conflicted with the part of him that seeks a meaningful partner, not a robot.
A sigh parted from his lips, if only Gaara could get even a sliver of life within him, he'd be perfect in Neji's eyes.
Well...he'd be even more perfect...
He didn't want someone that always did what they were told.
He didn't want someone that agreed with everything he said.
He wanted conflict in a sense.
Someone that would battle with him in another sense.
Someone that could keep him entertained...
And obsessed...
But that seemed like a dream, people didn't just change overnight without a damned good reason and Neji's desires weren't a necessity to Gaara so he never spoke of it.
Though it wouldn't hurt it he did.
It could have probably saved him from himself.
He remembered a time only two months ago when he had been with Matsuri, who was a very close friend of Gaara's...supposedly...at school that had really shown his emptiness...
0000-000000-0000
"Neji, that's not a nice thing to say," she commented blandly.
"I'm only speaking the truth."
"You and I know how much of a tortured soul he is. Poor guy, that really must have hurt him."
"No, the fact that he keeps burning his fucking face is what will hurt him."
"Neji!" Matsuri cried scolding.
"How can you be sympathetic to someone who tries to hold onto a girlfriend through pity?"
Matsuri was about to retort when...
"Su-chan! Neji-san!" A disturbed female voice interrupted.
Both turned to meet the gaze of a panicked female student running up to them.
"Hai?" They both answered in unison, Matsuri silently glaring at Neji from his previous statement.
"It's Gaara-kun," She said.
Matsuri's eyes had widened, quickly hardening with irritation as she growled, "What happened."
"Sasuke...his friends," she breathed restlessly, "they—"
"You don't need to say anymore." Matsuri stated.
She quickly bolted down the hallway, the girl in tow. Rounding a corner she disappeared from Neji's sight. He sighed, running his hand through his hair he stared at the ceiling.
"That girl has to learn that when she runs like that her skirt tends to fly up..." Neji muttered quietly to himself, looking away once they had taken off.
"Gaara..."
Slowly he began to follow, walking to where Matsuri had run off to. Guaranteed, wherever Gaara was, he'd be easy to find.
"Gaara..." he murmured to himself.
He sighed softly, catching onto the noise building up from ahead; Gaara couldn't be to far away from it.
"Gaara...?"
He held his head in his hand, irritation growing with each moment that passed.
He couldn't understand that boy, not one bit.
He just wasn't...human.
Neji's mind began to run wild with thoughts of the boy, why was he so confusing. Why couldn't Neji ever see him even just a little humane, even if it were from anger?
"Gaara-senpai!"
"Matsuri," Neji said surprised.
He sighed once again, mumbling something along the lines of why can't that girl keep out of trouble. At the present moment she was trying to claw at the Sasuke, being restrained by a boy who he believed to be name Suigetsu, because he was harassing Gaara. He watched the disturbance from within the crowd that had started to gather moments earlier and was growing larger by the minute. It was Sasuke and Gaara once again; he wished to know even more why the Uchiha had such a fondness for harassing Gaara.
The boy never did anything.
Least of all to cause contempt.
"Let go of him!" Matsuri yelled.
"Maybe when he grows a backbone," Sasuke laughed, "cause he likes this."
Neji scowled visually but stayed where he was, this never escalated into something unmanageable and if it did he'd be there to stop it. It certainly didn't stop him from feeling bad about it.
Gaara had just stood there while the youngest Uchiha had begun to tighten his hold on his collar, slowly cutting off his windpipe. Gaara had begun to pant and try to collect air into his lungs in vain and Matsuri had cried out try to reach for him.
"What are you doing? Stop hurting him!" She bellowed.
Sasuke merely laughed.
More desperate she cried, "Gaara don't just let him do that, Stand up for yourself!"
"..."
Gaara's head had tilted to her slightly, awaiting eyes listening for her command.
Suigetsu held her back as she near gouged his eyes out with his nails; she certainly knew how to thrash.
Matsuri yelled enraged, "Fight back!"
"Hai..."
Gaara grasped hold onto the arm Sasuke had been using to hold him and squeezed. At first it had seemed like nothing but his grip tightened he pressed right into the tender area between Sasuke's elbow. Sasuke winced and released him but Gaara did not yield. Sasuke fell to one knee as Gaara had then made well sure to twist the Uchiha's arm behind his back and continue to pull, harder and harder until Sasuke nearly screamed.
The crowd watched with amazement, even Neji was baffled at Gaara's actions. He'd never seen him fight back but then again...Matsuri had told him to...it still wasn't a voluntary action.
It wasn't intentional...
Neji hated the thought of Gaara being a puppet.
"Gaara let go of me!" Sasuke bellowed.
Almost hesitantly, Gaara silently obeyed, releasing the now aching limb.
"What the hell is wrong with you," Sasuke screamed, getting back to his feet and punching Gaara hard in the face. His face burned a dark red and there were the faint signs of tears at the corner of his eyes but Neji was probably the only one that noticed the latter.
Gaara fell to the ground upon impact, cheek beginning to redden and swell where he had been hit. He lightly began to rub the pained flesh.
"Don't you dare try that again!" Sasuke commanded irritably, Gaara nodded and Sasuke left immediately afterwards. His goons following close behind.
Neji had watched in surprise the entire time and Matsuri finally got close to him and began to examine his cheek. Questions ran rampant in his head until he couldn't keep silent and he stated clearly, "What's wrong with you!?"
"..."Gaara turned to him.
"W-what was that, Why did you just stop!"
"..."
"You can't let him get away with hitting you like that."
"I...deserved it." Gaara finally said.
"What?" asked bewildered.
"It was my fault, I..."
"What could you have possibly done?"
"I wasn't good enough, it was my fault."
"...you're kidding me, right. You got beaten because...Gaara do you even like him?"
"..."
"You can't possibly."
"..."
"Gaara?"
"..."
"Gaara!"
"..."
"I love him."
"What?" Neji gasped, even Matsuri's eyes had widened at the confession.
They both stuttered, "Y-you...wh-at!"
"Sasuke-sama said I love him, I love him"
"Gaara..." Matsuri soothed, "that...that's not...it isn't..." She couldn't find the right words.
Matsuri looked from Gaara to Neji sadly, though not spoken Neji knew that she was asking 'what had happened to the Gaara she had known those years ago?'
0000-000000-0000
Neji to would like to know the Gaara that she had known because from what she had told him...
He would never let a person walk over him...
He would never be someone's pawn...
He was free.
Akuma: Yosh! I'm alive! My god i'm channeling lee....
Neji: If you ever do that again.....
Akuma: I know i was thinking the same thing
Gaara:.....
Akuma: Hi Gaara! (Must...resist...urge...to...glomp...)
Gaara: Hello
Akuma: You're actually here. (Kawaii!!)
Neji: Psht...fangirls...
Akuma: Don't make me do something nasty to you Neji.
Neji: Oh really? Like what?
Akuma: You forget i'm the writer.
Neji ..............
Akuma: i thought so. Well i shall have the next chapter out really soon, i've already written out more than 85% of it. Well goodnight to all you people, i need sleep. XP
Gaara: Goodnight to everyone.
Akuma: Sqwee!!! Must...resist...fangirlish...urge...to glomp...
