Author's Note: I posted a couple promotional posters for the story on my page. I think you'll enjoy them :) Tell all your Gilmore-fans and thanks for the reviews guys!
Rory Gilmore stared at her name on the letter. There was nothing that implied that it had been sent through the mail, meaning that it was delivered. Luke must have seen Jess lately and it was handed off to give to her, right? That seemed logical but then again it didn't. Luke wouldn't have set it on the doorstep and run, that was more Jess's style. How was this explainable? Was he here, in Stars Hollow? A twinge of hope arose in her chest but she forced it back down quickly. If he was here then they would have to talk and soon. Rory carried a secret from him and they'd have to talk soon.
But putting off the letter wasn't going to solve anything. It could very well be a letter telling her that he was in town but didn't want to run into her. She had no idea so she opened the letter slowly and gently and began to read Jess's scribbled words. As she read, she could almost hear what she imagined his voice sounded like, reading the letter to her softly:
Dear Rory,
By this point, you've already realized that this letter did not come in the mail like previous ones. I did not send it to Luke to hand of to you as I have for years. No, this one was hand-delivered by yours truly.
I want to start with saying that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that when I last saw you I agreed to let you go. I'm sorry that I didn't push to make it work instead of letting us go our separate ways. That night was the best in my life and I've thought of you everyday since. I miss the way you're beautiful blue eyes sparkle at me when I laugh, the way your nose crinkles and your eyebrows lower when you're mad. I miss your laugh, your flawless skin, and your perfection. For seven years, one month, and thirteen days, I've missed you and all that you are.
About a year ago, I met a man by the name of Charles Kent. He was about twelve years older than us and diagnosed with lung cancer. He came to me with a book he had written. I read it from cover to cover and the mistakes were many even though the substance was amazing. I told him that it would take months to edit and publish it. He told me that if it wasn't published, that would be fine, he simply needed somebody to read it and get something out of it. I told him the amazement I felt from the words he had written and we spent hours talking about life. I made it my goal to publish his book no matter what. We spoke often until he had heard my entire life's story and I his. 6 months later, the book was published just as Charles was admitted into the hospital. I visited him every day until he died 3 weeks later. The last conversation I had with him was one of substance even from a dying man with little to no energy to move let alone think completely. He told me, "Jess, close your eyes and let the world around you fade away. Forget all you know and all that you've been through. I want you to imagine a world where you can have only one thing. Everything else is shit, what one thing would you want to keep you sane, happy." I was quiet for a moment, eyes closed, doing what he had asked. Suddenly it hit me and my eyes flew open. He smiled. "So tell me; What do you want?" I looked at him with blurry eyes. "Rory…" I said softly. Charles looked at me indifferently and nodded. "I know. My dying wish is that you get all that you want Jess Mariano. So when you're ready to accept the fact that the two of you are destined to be together, your ass better be in Stars Hollow, convincing her of the same thing." And that was our last conversation.
I want you to know that for years I have been lost, feeling as if no one understood me or what I wanted, including myself. Do you know what I mean? I believe that you do actually…I think that right now you're making a mental pro/con list on whether or not you and I are meant to be anymore or if too much time has passed. I also believe that right now the pros are outweighing the cons. I want you Rory Gilmore, there is nobody else I wish to spend my days with and I never want to be anything but yours.
And look…I've gone this entire letter without using the "L" word yet. But, if we're being honest with ourselves, I believe that I do still love you...and I don't think that will ever change Ror. I want a second chance to make things right and be with you. I'm in town, staying at a hotel where the Independence Inn used to reside. You can find me there when you're ready. Or you may find me reading Charles Kent's book out on Larson's Dock, typing away at my keyboard somewhere, you never know. But know this, I will stay out of your way until you tell me otherwise. I don't want to overstep and make your world uncomfortable. If you haven't found me to talk in the next three days, I'll leave, no questions asked.
But I sincerely hope that you do find me, that we talk, and that everything falls beautifully into place in the world around me. Stars Hollow is a beautiful place and I no longer view it as hell but as home. Merry Christmas.
Love,
Your Artful Dodger
Rory put the letter down on the coffee table, stunned. His letter last year consisted of how things were at Truncheon, some buddies, his haircut, and a list of songs that she just had to listen to. She realized now that the whole nonchalant attitude he seemed to have while writing these letters have just been a front, an attempt not to blow his cover by admitting that he still had feelings for her. Not just feelings…more than that. She took in a deep breath and knew that a conversation was in their very near future. She'd find him tomorrow, she promised herself.
Just then, her cell rang and she stumbled to answer it. "Hello?" She spoke clearly as if nothing was wrong, as if she hadn't just read that the man she's been dreaming of wants her back.
"Hello!" A cheerful little voice sung into the phone. Rory smiled at hearing Shane's voice. It sounded deeper over the phone than in person.
"Hey Shane, what's going on kiddo?" Rory asked conversationally. She could almost hear Shane smile into the phone.
"Nothing really, I just wanted to call and make sure you were having a very nice Friday. I just had smores, they were delicious!" The young boy went on in a very Gilmore-way. Rory smiled.
"I bet they were!" She said excitedly, the way most speak to children, "I think I'm about to go to sleep but I'll see you at Luke's for breakfast in the morning, right?"
"Of course! I promise to be extra hungry!" Shane said excitedly. He loved Saturdays because of their breakfasts at Luke's together. It seemed as if weekends were for families only and Shane loved that. His voice got lower and softer. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight baby." Rory said softly, matching his tone.
"I love you Mommy. See you in the morning." Shane said into the phone with a smile.
"I love you too Shane and I'll see you then." Rory said with a smile as she closed the phone. She let out a sigh. How do you tell the man who wants to be with you that you have a son that you've casually left out of all the letters? Rory bit her lip in thought. She'd figure it out…but for tonight, she needed sleep. So she crawled into bed and drifted away, letting sleep take over her body.
