Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie's.


BPOV

I dialed the phone so fast that I couldn't be sure that I'd type them at all. The phone rang a couple times before a gruffy voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Sam, don't hang up, please."

"Why shouldn't I? You and your boyfriend cost me my brother. Why should I listen to anything you have to say?"

"Because I care, Sam, I always will. But I didn't think it was good for him to think that anything would happen that wouldn't. I didn't want to hurt him anymore and it turns out I hurt him more than ever. I'm sorry Sam, but me saying this and proving how sorry I am for everything I've done isn't going to bring him back. I want to help. I want to go with you guys. I have to. I have to prove to him that I care, even if I shouldn't."

"You did enough to help and there's nothing that you could do except scare him farther away then he already is."

"Sam, have you ever thought that it's my voice that he wants to hear instead of yours? Did it ever cross your mind that he partly ran away from you too?"

"Still, Bella, it's your presence that has torn him into pieces, not your voice. Your actions, Bella. You knew that you could never love him more than the bloodsucker and yet you still continued to do what you did. You knew that it would have an effect on him, it was just a matter of time until it happened. You knew that, and you still did it. Why did you do it, Bella, why?"

I sighed deeply. "I knew what I was doing was wrong, sure. But I can't tell you why I did it. I don't even know. Jake was like a light in the world of darkness. He let me be myself. He showed me that the world could be beautiful. Sam, if I don't help you find him, I don't know what I will do."

"Don't you have a new life to begin?" Sam said in disgust, it felt like he spit on me.

"Sam, that can wait, Jake can't! I know that I can save him, Sam. I know it."

"I don't know, what if you drive him farther away? What then?"

"Sam, I doubt that will happen, but if it does, I'll back off and I'll leave forever. I won't bother you or him again if that happens. I'll leave you in peace Sam, I promise. Just let me make this up to him, please? I have to."

"Fine, you can come with us on our journey. We leave tomorrow night at dusk. Meet us in LaPush at the First Beach. We'll be waiting."

"Okay, I'll be there, promise."

"Oh, and Bella, one more thing, don't bring any of your friends on our trip. We don't need anymore allies with the vampires. Got it?"

"Sure Sam, whatever you say."

"See you there. Happy wedding Bella." Sam sounded like he regretted telling me the last sentence. I didn't press the issue. I didn't want to argue anymore with him. I just wanted to find Jake.

JPOV

"Hey man, what's up?" a muscular looking teen shook my hand. His long hair moved with the movement of shaking my hand.

"Hey, I'm still moving." I replied. If that's living, I thought to myself.

"My man, Philip says that you're a runaway."

"Yea, so." I replied, my voice getting an edge to it, getting defensive.

"Chill, man. I'm not going to turn you in, I just wanted you to know that I knew. That's all."

"Sure, sure."

"My name is Dakota, but you can call me Cody. Everyone does."

"Fine, Cody." I said the name with extra emphasize. He smiled at that.

"So, why'd you runaway?" Cody asked, intent to find out, I realized, one way or another. I'd rather him hear it from me instead of his buddy Philip. Why'd that kid say anything? It wasn't Cody's business whether I was a runaway or not, was it?

"I uh," a vision of her coursed through me again, the day that she came to LaPush after he left her, the day that she said goodbye. God, why me? Why do I have to be haunted by these nightmares?

"Man, what's the matter?"

"Um, just memories."

"Memories, huh?"

"Yea, old memories of a girl I used to know. But I won't ever see her again, nor do I want to."

"That bad, huh?"

"Yea."

"Why'd you guys break up?"

"We were never a thing, or at least not to her, not till she figured out that the fact that she loved me didn't matter as much as how much I loved her."

"I'm so sorry, man."

"What do you have to be sorry for? It wasn't you who did it. You didn't have any control over her, or what she fell in love with."

Cody growled. "She fell in love with an it, not a real person?"

"Yep, a bloodsucker. A filthy, bloodsucker that will have already married her and sometime in three days, she'll have turned into one herself." visions of her as a vampire flushed into my mind. Why? Why was I tortured like this? What did I do to deserve this? Fall in love with someone who didn't have a heart to give? Is that what I did wrong? Did I make her realize that she loved me too late? Was that my fault or hers?

"What happened?" Cody said in between tight closed teeth.

"She met him at her school, he left her 'for her own good.' She turned into a lifeless moving being. She came to my house and we spent almost every minute together. I realized that I loved her, and I think that she thought so too, but she wouldn't admit it to herself. Then he thought that she killed herself and she found out that he was going to try to end his existence. She flew on a plane with his sister to save him. She came back and everything was hunky dory with them. Then a vampire started a war and the Cullen family, his family, and the werewolves of LaPush, joined forces to protect her and the town. She realized and admitted to herself that she knew that she fell in love with me. Then during the fight I got hurt and while I was recovering, she came to visit and told me that she couldn't hurt me anymore, she couldn't be my friend because I would always want more. Then she gets engaged to him and he sends me an invitation to their wedding. Guess what was inside the invitation waiting for me?"

"I don't know, what?"

"A letter. A letter from Edward himself. The thing wrote me a letter saying that he thanked me for letting him marry her and spend the rest of eternity with her." I hadn't realized that I had been crying until I opened my eyes. They were foggy, I couldn't see anything. "My Bella, why? Why my Bella?" I sat down on the ground and just cried. It felt like my insides had been turned inside out. No, that didn't even begin to cover it. I was torn apart, parts of me were strewn everywhere. I knew that there was no way that I would ever be the same after this. I was ruined, forever.