After dinner was over everyone continued to talk and laugh but after awhile Harry excused himself and went out onto the deck.
There was a cool breeze coming off the lake and he could hear the water splashing against rocks on the waters edge. He really wanted to be inside with everyone but he also needed to think for awhile.
Sirius had been watching Harry out of the corner of his eye, all night long and he could tell that something was troubling him. He decided to go see if Harry wanted to talk about it so a few minutes after his godson excused himself, Sirius did the same and headed out onto the deck.
Harry looked up at the stars.
This was one of the moments he loved the most. He loved being outside under a clear night where he could see the stars and hear the calming sound of water, where it was cool night but not cold enough to force him to go back inside. He wished he could just stay out here for ever.
'When will everything finally be over' he thought while looking up at the stars. He searched and then found the big dipper. This brought a little smile to his face but then a thought occurred to him 'do I really want it to be over?" he frowned and looked down at his hands thinking about this 'I mean I don't like the fact that people are dying and everyone is filled with terror but when something does happen, when I need to fight, it reminds me of what I'm fighting for. Every time I think about fighting Voldemort I know that I am fighting for my parents. For what they believed and what they stood for. For happiness and peace. But if everything is over will I still feel the love for them as strong as I do now?' Harry let out a long sigh while he thought about this.
Sirius walked out onto the deck. He stopped put his hands in his pockets, closed his eyes, and took a deep breathe of the fresh air.
When he opened them he saw that Harry leaning over the deck railing with his back turned to him looking down at his hands.
Sirius smiled and thought to himself 'he reminds me so much of James. James would love a night like this.' As he thought this he could imagine Harry as James, he imagined that it was 20 years ago when James and Lily where still alive and Peter, James, Lupin, and him were still good friends and the war was over. But then he brought himself back to the present 'this isn't James, its Harry' Sirius thought 'I need to remember that although Harry is very similar to James he is also very different and right now he needs someone to be there for him' Sirius could see that Harry was deep and thought and that he had not heard him walk onto the deck. Sirius walked up beside Harry and also leaned over the railing. When it was still clear that Harry was not aware of his presence he said
"everything alright kiddo?"
Harry had not heard Sirius walk up and suddenly hearing someone next to him caused him to jump a little. However when Harry looked over and saw that it was Sirius he relaxed and went back to standing how he was before.
"sorry I didn't mean to startle you Harry." Sirius said looking at Harry.
"It's fine I didn't hear you walk up. You didn't find the conversation interesting?" Harry asked looking back at the open door where he could hear people laughing.
"Well Tonks and Remus are sharing stories and I have heard them so many time I thought I would come and spend some quality time with my godson." Sirius said smiling.
Harry gave him a smile but it was obvious to Sirius that it was forced. Sirius sighed and gently put a hand on Harry's back.
"Harry… is there anything bothering you?" Sirius asked him.
"what do you mean?" Harry asked looking up at him.
"well you just seem a little distinct today." Sirius said.
" Sorry I just have a lot on my mind tonight."
"anything you want to talk about" Sirius asked
Harry thought for a moment and then said "No im sure everything will eventually work itself out."
