"...yeah, Percy's so different.."
"...he's been so snappy lately..."
"...I heard he left her in Tartarus..."
"...I hate him so much now..."
I don't understand their logic. Do they think that I can't hear what they're whispering? Or are they just trying to hurt me?
It's been two weeks since I got back to camp. The first week, I had been in the infirmary, recovering. By the time that I had gotten out, the rumors and the whispering had started. I would see people in groups, talking, but when I got close enough, they would scatter. My friends could never look me in the eye, and even Chiron didn't like talking to me.
And to add on to that, the whole Athena cabin pretending I don't exist, and staying as far away from me as possible, because they blamed me about Annabeth being trapped in Tartarus.
Could they not tell I felt bad enough? I hate this, I really do. I have no friends, no one to talk to, and the one person I wanted most in the world, I would never see again.
It probably doesn't help that I have a newly found half-brother, Hayden. He is the most annoying person on earth: he is ignorant, he has a huge ego, and he's a devil, but because he only shows me this side of him, everyone else at camp loves him. And the only person who would actually believe me about him is in Tartarus.
Damn it, Percy! Stop thinking about her!
You have no idea what life is like without Annabeth. I keep seeing her face, as she feel back into Tartarus. Love. Hate. Devastation. Terrified. All these emotions wrapped up in one facial expression. That is a face that I will never forget.
"Hello Percy." I recongnized Nico's voice without turning around.
"What do you want?" I asked coolly. Nico, just like everyone else, hadn't been talking to me since I had gotten back to camp.
"Just wanted to see how you were doing," he said, sitting beside me on the sand.
"So you suddenly care enough to actaully talk to me, now?"
"I felt bad for you."
"I don't need your pity."
"You're all alone."
"You just noticed?"
"I know you've been alone since you got back, but-"
"Since I got to cam?" I asked, and shook my head. "Nico, I've been alone ever since Annabeth fell out of that elevator. I've felt like a piece of me has been missing since my mom disappeared on just before I came to camp for the first time."
"You got your mom back," Nico argued.
"But ever since then, I've been losing people. This is the second I've lost Annabeth. I lost Bianca. I lost everyone who died in the Titan War. I lost everything, including my memory, when I was taken to the Roman Camp. And even when I met someone who actually knew me, he pretended like we had never met."
"I'm sorry about that Percy..."
"Sorry doesn't fix everything in the world. Sorry doesn't bring all those innocent people back to life! Sorry doesn't get Annabeth out of Tartarus. Sorry is nothing but some stupid, empty word!"
"Then what do you want me to say? I can't say that everything will be alright because we both know that's a lie!"
"Then maybe you shouldn't say anything at all! Maybe you should let me grieve by myself!" I don't know what made me say that. I just yelled it, and let in the air; I didn't even try to take it back.
Nico stared at me for a few seconds, obviously hurt. And I was glad. I wanted other people to have to feel pain, I didn't want to be the only one feeling like this.
"Fine," Nico said. "If that's what you want." He turned and left, and somewhere deep down, I knew that I had just made a huge mistake. No one would ever talk to me after that; I knew in that moment that I was alone.
A few hours later, I was walking back into my cabin after dinner, while everyone else was at Campfire. I sat down on my bed, and put my head in my hands. What was I doing? Why was I hurting everyone I cared about? I wanted to tell myself that it wasn't me, that it was the Fates during their job. But I knew that wasn't it. Too many of my friends had died in the war, and Annabeth falling back into Tartarus just threw me over the edge.
"What's the matter Perce?" My half-brother Hayden asked, walking into the cabin.
"Awww," two Aphrodite girls said. "That's so sweet." Yeah, sure, it's sweet. I knew that Hayden was only acting nice because there were other people around. When it was just us two, he was the worst brother in the world.
He always brings girls over after Campfire, which gets reallly annoying. He acts all sweet and nice in front of them, and pretends that he lives them so much, when really, he's just using them. I'm surprised none of the girls have noticed how he has brought almost everything girl in the camp into our cabin.
"Go away," I said, kicking off me shoes, and lying down on my bed.
He turned to the girls and said, "Hey, I'm sorry, I'm pretty tired, I don't think I really want to hang out tonight."
The girls looked crestfallen.
"Oh, okay," one of the girls said, and they turned and started walking out. He waited until he was sure they were out of hearing distance, then he turned back to me.
"What's the matter with you?"
I sat up and stared at him. "What's the matter with me? You're the one who pretends to be someone else to impress girls!"
"At least I can actaully get the girls. All you ever do is sit around and mope all day!"
"I have a girlfriend!"
"You're girlfriend is never coming back!"
I punched him in the jaw. "F*ck off," I said.
"Hey calm down there. You wouldn't want to upset dad's favorite son." Somehow, despite me punching him, he managed to keep his cool- and his ego.
"You think I care about who's dad's favorite son? You think I care about the gods at all?" I yelled at him.
"You're going to upset the gods," Hayden warned.
"I don't care!" I yelled. "The gods are stupid, and they can;'t even fight for themselves! They just let us, their demigod children fight for them! It never seems to register in their minds that we can die and they can't! They never even think about us! They only claim us when they need something!"
Hayden stepped back a little shocked. "Whoa, calm down Percy. Don't say anything you might regret."
"If the gods have a problem with me, then they can get over it. I'm done fighting for them."
"I'm serious, Percy! The gods are going to kill you."
I shrgged, "So they can kill me. I don't see why you care anyway. If I offend them, then I'll have to leave, and you won't hvae to live with me anymore." And I won't have to deal with him.
"Th-there's something floating over you head," Hayden said. "Like the thing that appears when you're claimed."
"Well what does it say?" I asked, impatient.
"It says... 'I, Poseidon, hereby disclaim..." he trailed off, and took a deep breath, "my son, Perseus Jackson."
"So that's it then," I whispered.
Without even thinking, or even considering packing anything, I turned and walked out the cabin, and up Halfblood Hill. I din't know why I was even walking; I actually wasn't trying to. It was like somthing had taken control of my body.
Yes, that's it, Percy. Keep walking, I heard in my ear. Come be the Commander of my army. Come to my world.
Kids were staring at me, and whispering, but I ignored them. I got to the top of the hill, and looked back. I didn't completely want to leave; I used to love this place, and I knew that a part of me still did. But I knew that I needed to keep going, to listen to the voice. It would guide me.
"Goodbye," I whispered, even though no one was listening.
With an empty heart, I walked away, away from my camp, and the only place safe for my kind. Away from the only place I could ever call home..
