"Hello, Rita," said Roddy cheerfully, waving to her from the side of the Jammy Dodger II. "Guess who I found?"

"Commander Rhys Seddon-Tavish and Sofia de Lesseps?" suggested Rita. Roddy stared at her open-mouthed.

"How could you possibly-?"

"I made a friend as well," explained Rita. She gestured to a blue-eyed rat who was following her along. "This is Special Agent Valentine of InterPol. He's looking for Rhys and Sofia. And we have a very big problem."

"I know. I didn't find any fuel either." Roddy eyed the newcomer with faint suspicion.

"Bigger than that," said Rita, with feeling. "Are they with you?"

Roddy nodded and called them over.

"Good to see you again, Rita," said Sofia warmly. "I am so pleased to see that you are well."

"Hello, old thing," said Rhys. Rita nodded to them.

"Glad to see you both again. How was the wedding?"

"The wedding was beautiful," said Sofia. "But I am reserving judgement on the 'oneymoon."

Rhys grinned and rolled his eyes. Valentine stepped forward and saluted.

"I can't say that it's going to get much better, ma'am. I have some bad news."

"What could it be?" Rhys was puzzled.

Roddy looked over to Rita and was shocked by the grim look on her face. Something must be seriously wrong.

Valentine continued. "If you remember the World Cup, a plot to destroy the capital under London was narrowly averted."

"Yes, I think I can recall reading about that," said Roddy sarcastically. Rita shot him a warning look.

"The instigator of that plot was a mastermind known as the Toad," said Valentine.

"He didn't seem that bright to me," said Roddy. Valentine ignored him.

"Following the World Cup, he was brought into custody and sentenced to exile where he couldn't do any more damage. It was quite hard to find a suitable place because no other countries were willing to deal with him. As a result, he had to be isolated on British territory."

Roddy had a nasty feeling he knew where this was going.

"He was sent here," said Valentine. "Burhou Island was thought to be as far removed from anywhere as possible. It was believed that he couldn't cause any trouble here. All we had to do was keep people away."

Rhys was stunned. "Why were we sent here then?"

"Crossed wires," Valentine shrugged. "It happens. The Toad's location wasn't meant for public knowledge and InterPol is very good at keeping secrets even from the diplomatic corps."

Roddy tried to catch up. "So the Toad is here? On this island? With us? Now?"

Valentine nodded.

"Well, he can't be much of a threat, surely?" Rhys looked up. Sofia was pacing the deck in clear agitation.

"The plot has thickened considerably," said Valentine. "Which is why I'm here. There is a fuel pipeline running across this island. It supplies the needs of the humans living on Alderney Island nearby. We believe that pipeline to be under threat from the Toad."

"What makes you think that?" asked Roddy.

"We received information from French authorities regarding the activities of a fugitive called Le Frog." Valentine's mouth twitched with distaste. "He was caught trying to smuggle himself aboard a ship heading for Alderney. He was released as he had committed no crime, but everything seems to be pointing towards a new plot."

"But Le Frog was very 'elpful to us in Monaco," said Sofia. "I did not know 'e was a criminal."

"Le Frog serves Le Frog," said Rita. "I'm sorry, Sofia."

Rhys shook his head. "So you think there's foul play here?"

"Yes, but we don't know details. That's why I'm here to investigate. Commander and Madam Ambassador, I must ask you to leave this place. It's too dangerous."

"I wouldn't leave even if we could," said Rhys defiantly. "This sounds like you might need our help. As a commissioned officer of Her Majesty's Fleet, I simply won't allow myself to miss out on the fun. Out of duty, naturally." He winked at Roddy, who tried not to laugh out loud.

Valentine blinked. "You…can't leave? But how did you get here?"

"We flew," said Sofia. "Rita, I am sure you'll be pleased to know that Jasper 'as got that contraption of 'is working much better. It 'ardly crashed at all getting 'ere."

Rita smiled at the news. "Are the Bruces still with him?"

"I think the Bruces are a permanent condition," said Sofia, laughing.

"So it's settled then," said Rhys happily. "Everybody stays and we all join forces to beat this Toad wallah."

Valentine tried to argue. "Sir, I really can't allow that! I'm under orders!"

"What was your rank again, Mr Valentine?"

"Sergeant of police, sir. Special Agent by secondment." Valentine drew himself to attention.

Rhys nodded. "Well, I'm a Commander of the Royal Navy and a stubborn fool by nature. Isn't that right, darling?"

"It is true," affirmed Sofia, smiling.

"Thank you," said Rhys. "So, sergeant, like I said. It's settled."


"You flew out here with Jasper?" said Roddy.

"Oh, yes. He and the Bruces have that crate purring like a kitten. But that is a problem as well." Rhys pulled a face.

"What do you mean?" asked Roddy. Rhys grinned and opened his mouth to say something. The ambassador cut him off.

"Kittens don't fly, Roddy," said Sofia wearily, in the tone of someone who has heard a joke before and wasn't impressed even then. "'E thinks 'e 'as a sense of 'umour sometimes."

Roddy laughed. "I'm amazed it got here at all. Is that how you're getting back?"

"Yes, he's coming to pick us up. Sofia's embassy promised to cover all his costs. They meant fuel and food, but Jasper thought that gave him a licence to modify the old bomber from stem to stern. Or is it front to back? I was never good with planes."

"I think you mean, nose to tail?" suggested Roddy.

"Just so," said Rhys. He looked over the side. Valentine and Rita were talking in low voices. "He's a dashing one, that."

"Jasper?"

"Our Agent Valentine there," said Rhys. "Top notch character I'd say. Pity he didn't join the Service. We could have done with him in Monaco, eh?" He laughed. "Of course, we could have done with the Ark Royal too!"

"We managed all right," said Roddy.

"Yes, thanks to Rita. You're a fortunate chap to have her around, Roddy. And I think you're not the only one who notices that." Rhys winked. Roddy was taken aback.

"Rhys! You can't mean?"

"I'm happily married, old chap, don't worry about me. But I'm not the only devilishly good-looking uniformed type around here."

"Valentine?" Roddy stared.

"I 'ave to say, 'e is very good-looking," said Sofia. "Women like men in uniform." She poked her husband. "Although for the life of me I cannot think why."

Roddy looked over the side again. Rita was still talking to Valentine. Was it his imagination or were they standing a little closer than strictly necessary? He shook his head and tried not to think about it.


Valentine regarded Rita with amazement.

"He was the one who stopped the Toad the last time? I heard about the frozen wave but I never saw it myself."

Rita nodded. "He'd tell you it was a joint effort but it was really him."

"Well, if I'd known! It's an honour to meet both of you. I should probably say something to him." Valentine looked up at Roddy, who was peering down at them. Roddy seemed to flinch and turn away.

"I wouldn't," said Rita. "He's…well…modest."

"Still, it was a brave thing to do." Valentine looked up and caught Rita's eyes. She felt her heart skip a beat and mentally kicked herself for feeling like this around Valentine. She didn't even know him! More importantly, she did know Roddy. This had to stop.

"Is that how the two of you met?"

"Sorry?" she said, distractedly.

"I'm sorry, I assumed that was how you met Roddy."

"It was. Well, not exactly. That's a much longer story and you wouldn't believe me if I told it to you."

Valentine nodded. "I thought so. I probably shouldn't have asked. I don't want to step on anyone's toes."

"What do you mean?" Rita frowned. Valentine glanced up and Rita almost shied away under the sapphire stare. This is ridiculous! I can't feel like this, it's not right. Roddy would never forgive me. I'd never forgive me. Good grief, next thing you know I'll be fluttering my eyelashes and falling over a lot…

"Nothing. Don't worry. Listen, I'm going to go back to my boat to collect some things. I'll meet you back here in half an hour." Valentine smiled politely and left. Rita watched him go and looked up. A seagull whirled overhead, dipped its wings and flew inland.


The Toad turned away from the seagull and muttered darkly to himself. There wasn't much fun to be had on this joyless speck of rock in the middle of the English Channel, and now things were getting too complicated. The plan had to work and having all these creatures- rats, he reminded himself with a shudder- was bound to cause problems. He turned back to the gull, which was eying him in a bored fashion.

"You can't do anything about them, I suppose?" he said to it. "No. Of course not." Why was it getting so hard to be a respectable gang boss these days? Even the dullard hench-rats he had been forced to employ in the sewers were better than the white-winged beings which constituted Burhou's usual population. It had taken some time for him to convince the gulls to let him lead them. This hadn't been easy, since the usual relationship between seagull and toad tends to be short, but Burhou Island was not an exciting place even for seagulls and the strange green creature had seemed to be an interesting diversion. The chief gull glanced at his colleagues, who were clustered around, watching the Toad walk up and down in approved super-villain style. Something clearly had to be done, but what?

The fuel pipeline to Alderney ran across the ground nearby, held up by rusting brackets. A maintenance shed, long since disused, stood to one side. The Toad threw open the door and marched inside.
"I've been here too long," he said to himself. "Denied my destiny, denied my birthright. Discarded by the country I served for so long! Well, they'll pay. They'll all pay." He looked around and the dingy place which had been his home since the World Cup and sighed with disgust. Bad enough to be reduced to this, but now to have to share his island with rats? It was too much. His eyes focused on a cobweb-encrusted crate that had been pushed into the shadows in the far corner. Faded stencilled lettering read VEREY FLARES-ALL COLOURS-RED FOR EMERGENCY USE ONLY.

An evil smirk spread over the Toad's face. Maybe there was a way to dispose of these interlopers. A brass Verey pistol lay nearby, and the start of a plan began taking shape in the Toad's mind. Now chuckling darkly, the Toad went to a storage cupboard and opened it.

"Patience," he said to the contents of the cupboard. "Soon we will have our opportunity. The glorious amphibian dawn will come. Daddy promises."


He beamed down at the row of jars. The tadpoles beamed back, sharp teeth glinting in the sunlight.

The sun was going down, and it was already bitterly cold. Roddy had cleared a patch of seaweed and a small fire burned merrily in the lee of the Jammy Dodger II. Rhys and Sofia were sitting together, taking it in turns to hold a pin on which was roasting a cashew nut. They passed it between them as it got too hot for one to hold. Valentine was poking at the fire with a stick and trying to get a small amount of water to boil without much success.

Sofia withdrew the nut and blew on it a couple of times to cool it down before taking an experimental bite.

"Not bad if I say so myself," she said. "I mean, this is not exactly haute cuisine 'ere but still, this is not bad. Where did you come across them?"

"We picked them up in Nice," said Roddy. "It's been difficult finding a way too cook them though. You can't boil them or use a stove. And Rita refused to let me light a campfire on her deck."

Rhys laughed. "She can be uncooperative sometimes can she?"

"Uncooperative nothing," called Rita from the boat. "What I said was that if Roddy wanted to use my deck to cook some nuts he should use his own."

Rhys choked on a mouthful of cashew and looked to be in serious trouble until Sofia hit him on the back. Even Valentine looked a little worried.

"My own deck, is what she meant," said Roddy severely. "Honestly, you say something entirely innocent and look at how people react."

Rita threw a small plastic cylinder overboard. It landed near the group by the fire. "That's the last of them. We should probably try to finish them tonight. They haven't kept that well since Nice, although I think we threw out the one which turned green. I'm sorry, did I say something wrong, Sofia?"

The ambassador was sitting quite still with a look of horror on her face. Her eyes flickered between Rita and the cashew she had just taken another bite out of. Rita sighed.

"I was joking, Sofia, I was joking. It wasn't really turning green."

"Thank 'eavens," said Sofia, swallowing uncertainly.

"It was more a kind of mossy brown. That was a joke too, by the way. No need to look at me like that, I'm not a completely classless bum."

Roddy laughed. "I wouldn't have called you a bum,"

"Oh, just completely classless? A little respect for your captain wouldn't go amiss!" She flicked his ear. Roddy rubbed it, still grinning.

"Well, I'm paying as little as possible aren't I?" he said. Rhys and Sofia laughed. Valentine chuckled at the look of feigned irritation that Rita put on her face. He picked a nut out of the box and impaled it on a spike.

"How have you two lived on one boat for so long without throwing each other overboard?" he said.

"Roddy spends a lot of time overboard," said Rita.

"I think he meant deliberately overboard," said Roddy helpfully.

Rita rolled her eyes and sat down halfway between Roddy and Valentine. Rhys cocked an eyebrow and traded glances with Sofia at this development. Roddy noticed it too and tried to pretend that he hadn't.

"How long were you planning on staying here?" he asked Rhys.

"Oh, not long. In fact if everything goes to plan, Jasper and his flying circus should be arriving tomorrow evening."

"Which probably means the day after," said Sofia. "I do not trust that machine of 'is. Fortunately it is a short flight back to France."

Rita watched Valentine trying to roast the nut. The metal spike had no handle and rapidly heated up. He yelped and dropped it, blowing on his hands. He looked up and noticed Rita's gaze.

"I'll get the hang of it one day," he said, smiling. "They didn't include this in basic training, funnily enough."

"I might have to teach you myself," said Rita, with a giggle. Roddy stared at her in wonderment. Nothing made her giggle. Why was she suddenly acting five years younger? He glanced across at Rhys and remembered the Commander's earlier words. He couldn't possibly have been right…

"Is she a good teacher, Roddy?" said Valentine.

Roddy bit down hard on the comment he was about to make, which gave Rita time to cut him off.

"After teaching Roddy, Valentine, you'd be easy. Is your name really Valentine?"

"Yes. My sister was called Easter and my brother's name is St. Patrick. We're a festive family." He grinned disarmingly. Roddy stuck a nut in his mouth to avoid saying something he might end up regretting. He stared at the fire and tried not to think about the exchange. Was he paranoid or was Rita really acting like this? He thought about the note she had written him after the events in Monaco and wondered whether he had been right to keep it.

There was a distant sound, and a brilliant green light rose into the sky from somewhere inland. Trailing smoke, it exploded in a flash that caught everyone's attention.

"Who could that possibly be?" said Rhys. "There's nobody else here except us."

"Nobody except…the Toad," said Valentine darkly.

"Why would he be sending up flares?" said Roddy.

"I don't know, but we should find out," said Rita, standing up. "It might not even be him, but if it is, I want to know about it. Come on, let's investigate."

Roddy stood up and prepared to go with her.

"Not you, Roddy, I meant Valentine. You have to stay here and look after the boat. If the Toad knows we're here he's bound to go after it."

Roddy gaped. "But Rita, I can't just let you go off alone!"

"I won't be. Valentine's coming too. Right?" She looked at him. The InterPol officer glanced from Rita to Roddy and appeared to reach a decision.

"Uh…right. Sure. No problems. Someone reliable has to stand guard over the Ambassador and the Commander, Roddy. They can't be allowed to come to harm."

"We're standing right here, you know," said Rhys conversationally. "And we can take care of ourselves. Look, if Roddy wants to go with you-"

"What if something happens to us?" said Rita. "No. Roddy, you stay and keep watch. We'll be back soon."

Roddy gave up. "All right, all right. But be careful. I don't want to have to send in the cavalry because you've gone off on a bender trying to impress someone." He tried to avoid implying that he knew who she might be trying to impress. Roddy moved to touch her shoulder, but she picked up the pin Valentine had dropped, kicked the cashew off the end, and began to head off into the gathering dusk.

"Go on, then," said Roddy to Valentine, not even trying to keep the bitterness out of his tone. The officer shrugged helplessly, and followed her.


"Never do that again," said Valentine casually.

"Do what?" Rita picked her way through the tangled vegetation where the shore met the island proper.

"What you just did to Roddy. Don't think nobody noticed."

"Noticed what?" she turned on him, hands on hips.

"Why did you ask me to come with you?" he said.

"Because you know what you're doing. Rhys is nice enough and handy with a sabre but I don't think we'll win points for gentlemanly conduct, Sofia can't fight at all and Roddy is a liability sometimes." Rita kept her tone businesslike, but was afraid that she knew where this was going to end up.

"Listen, I said earlier that I didn't want to tread on anyone's toes. This is what I meant. I can see how Roddy feels about you and I'm pretty sure you feel the same way about him or he wouldn't dare express it." Valentine's blue eyes didn't waver as he spoke.

"He doesn't express it!" Rita glared. "He never does! He just assumes that I know! And I do know, but it'd be nice to hear him say it!" She stopped and wondered where that outburst had come from. She was happy with Roddy, she knew that. He was everything she could have asked for, and more. So why did she feel like this inside? The answer wasn't hard to find. It was Valentine, she knew that. He was enough to turn anyone's head, much as she hated to admit it. Rita bit her lip and cursed herself. What if she had hurt Roddy with her behaviour? It was out of sorts, she knew…he'd know that too, right? But if he didn't…

Valentine blinked. "Okay, well, that touched a nerve I wasn't aiming at. All I'm saying is that there were two of you before this business and there'll be two of you after it as well. I'm not involved. Clear?"

Rita nodded, still too busy thinking to voice a reply. A second flare rose into the night sky and burst above them. Valentine traced its path down to the ground.

"We must be close now. We'll have to move quietly." Valentine moved off. Rita looked back to the shore, as if contemplating going back to Roddy, and shook her head. That would have to wait. How was she going to explain this to him?

Overhead, but terrifyingly close, a seagull gave a raucous cry that made her blood freeze. She looked around just in time to see the white wings enveloping her. As she hit the ground, she could hear a familiar voice laughing at her.

"Well, hello Rita!" said the Toad, from atop the seagull. "It's been far too long…"