Author's Note: Sorry for the extreme delay. Brownie points to whoever can actually understand the mushed up word sentence fragment…thing describing the look on Fred's face!
Back at the Burrow, the Weasley boys had caught their breath and were now looking for something to eat.
"Fred! Any fruitcake left?"
"Nope, none! Where is all the food in this house?"
"Bunch of pigs," Charlie muttered, watching Bill chug down a carton of milk.
A creak on the stairs announced Arthur Weasley's arrival.
"Merlin, am I famished," he said, looking round at the boys. "Who's cooking today?"
"Harry," replied Charlie. "And speak of the devil, there he is now! Along with, dare I say it, our little sister! Don't they look sweet?"
"Oh, look! He's holding open the door for her! And he's holding her hand…Gred, isn't that so adorable?" George said, acting like Harry and Ginny were two year olds playing at marriage.
Arthur blinked. Harry and Ginny…I always knew it was coming, he thought.
"Well, Harry, m'boy, I wish you two the best of luck, and, er, hold off on anything too, er, well, you know…"
Harry felt his face go red, and twitched ever so slightly. Ginny narrowed her eyes.
"So," said Fred. "When can we expect the wedding, Harry?"
Ginny rolled her eyes, not even blushing. "Shut up, Fred."
"Right, here's a piece of advice to you two-abstinence is the best policy. Don't want to be popping out miniatures too early, now, eh?" stated Bill.
"Give her a ripe big ol' kiss, now, Harry," added Charlie.
"Go on!" encouraged Ron.
"Bloody idiots," said Harry. "What do you say we curse them into the next century, Ginny?"
"Hm," Ginny said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "I suppose we could…after breakfast," and she bounced away to join her brothers at the table, giving her father a kiss on the cheek and telling them all, "Thank you for your blessings and advice. We'll be sure to follow them," and sitting down innocently.
Harry, still blushing, narrowed his eyes, turned towards the stove and began making The Breakfast.
Molly Weasley came down the stairs just as Harry was cracking the first eggs in a bowl.
"My goodness, Harry! Why are you making breakfast? You sit down dear, I'll do this. Fred! George! Bill! Charlie! Ron! Arthur! What is the meaning of this? Guests. Do. Not. Work. In. This. House. Do you understand me?"
"Now, mum, don't get your knickers in a twist-"
Molly glared at Fred.
"Or, er, don't get upset, but Ron here discovered Harry and Ginny in a rather suggestive position this morning, doing some rather suggestive things, and we-meaning the five of us brothers-decided that we must fulfill our duties as older brothers and set the stage to rights. So, having had to chase the two lovebirds as they tried to escape to do some more, shall we say, suggestive activities, we resolved to simply have Harry cook breakfast as punishment for trying to elope with our baby sister." Fred finished with a look that said clearly, "We were only doing what we thought was right-ahemnotreally."
Molly narrowed her eyes formidably. "Ginny?" she prompted. "Explain."
Ginny's jaw dropped in outrage. "You are actually going to believe those twits, Mum? He just kissed me, is all! And THEY were trying to kill him for it! Suggestive my arse. And the reason Harry is cooking breakfast is because he was the first one awake this morning, and he's a close friend-"
"Close friend? Try husband," muttered Ron.
"Shut up, Ronaldo, you shouldn't be talking after what I found you and Hermione doing in the-"
"RIGHT. SO. Back to the explanation, Ginny," Ron cleared his throat.
"Well, according to Section IV Clause 6, Harry is rightfully assigned the duty as breakfast maker for today!"
Molly pursed her lips. "All right then Ginny, Harry, I'm sorry for any trouble. I can still cook, you know."
"No, Mrs.Weasley, honestly, I'm all right with cooking."
"If you're sure, then. And Ron! Do I really want to know?"
"Er, no?" Ron ventured.
Molly gave him a shrewd look. "I'll not ask, then." Seating herself next to Ginny, she gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek. "Ginny, darling, I'm so glad for you! I knew he'd come around eventually. To think! All those times you talked about him with me…"
Ginny's eyes were twitching madly. Her jaw was clenched. Her lips were pursed.
"Now, then, how was the kiss?"
Ginny's jaw dropped. "Mum!" she hissed. "Shush! You're so embarrassing!"
Charlie snorted. "Go on, Ginny, tell us," he said loudly. "On a scale of one to ten, how was Harry?"
Ginny narrowed her eyes. So this was what they were doing…a sort of comments campaign.
"Well," she said completely unabashedly, "I'd give him an eight. With practice I'm sure he'll get to ten."
Harry's neck went red. Resolutely, he cracked the eggs and whisked them. His eyes roved around the kitchen. Now what was something perfectly disgusting that even Fred wouldn't like in his food?
Chocolate and ketchup.
Harry squirted a generous helping of both in the egg mixture, whisked them, and fried the whole shebang. "Fred!" he called, and levitated the plate of eggs towards him.
A grin formed on Harry's face. Now for George…
In half an hour, Harry had completed all the orders for the Weasleys and himself. He substituted strawberry jam with pickled cranberries on Charlie's toast (Charlie hated anything remotely sour), added salt to Bill's milk, put Filibuster's No-Heat Wet-Start Fireworks in Ron's glass of orange juice, and included bits of boiled frog liver in George's kippers. Ginny's, Molly's, Arthur's, and his own plate he had kept clear. Now he was going to sit back and watch the show.
Ginny gave Harry a sidelong glance as he grinned and sat down with his plate. Something was up, she concluded. Harry + food + annoying Weasley boys Something funny. She took a large bite of her buttered toast and waited for the brothers to do the same.
Ron looked at Bill who looked at Charlie who looked at George who wasn't looking because he was exchanging a glance with Fred.
"Er, mum? I'm not feeling to well," said Ron slowly, pushing back his plate.
"Yeah," agreed Charlie. "All that exercise this morning…"
"I'll be upstairs if you need anything," said Bill, and nudged Fred, who rubbed his stomach and said:
"Stomach ache. Think I'm going to blow-"
"WAIT." commanded Molly, stopping the boys as they dashed towards the stairs. "You come back here and eat this food that your guest kindly made for you. SIT. NOW. EAT."
The boys meekly came back.
"Mmm," said George painfully. "Great cooking, Harry."
"Yep," said Fred, and swallowed.
Ron, Bill, and Charlie simply nodded, looking like they were going to die any second. Charlie's face puckered up as he bit into his toast with pickled cranberries. "Very flavorful," he gasped.
"I know!" said Ginny brightly. "I think Harry should make all the food for today!"
Charlie kicked her foot under the table.
"Ow, Charlie! What are you kicking me for?" Ginny exclaimed loudly.
"Charlie!" Arthur admonished.
"Sorry," he said weakly.
And so breakfast passed. Afterwards, Ginny and Harry shared a smirk outside on the deck.
"That was a good one, Secret Agent Pickled Cranberries," said Ginny, resting her head on Harry's chest.
"Why thank you, Agent Frog Liver!" Harry replied brightly.
"What do you suppose they'll do next?" Ginny wondered aloud.
Suddenly, a cascade of icy water crashed down on the two.
Ginny sat gaping, water streaming down her face. Harry blinked slowly-once, twice, and again. Both turned their heads simultaneously towards the window ledge above them and back at each other.
The war was on.
