I tell you something that you never ever had
When I stop and think about you, it makes me laugh
You took me by surprise, saw it in your eyes-
I never had a chance, girl.
"John?"
John was startled out of his reverie. Being back on Wild Cat had brought back an abundance of memories. "Yes, Bridget?" He glanced down at his younger sister, who was wearing her best "I'm-about-to-say-something-you-won't-like," face.
"You're staring at Nancy again."
"Actually, Bridget, I was looking at that boat out there on the lake. The one with the brown sail. She looks like Swallow. Nancy isn't even in my field of view; I've no idea where she is," John replied with a laugh, indicating the little ship in question. Bridget was very apt to make something out of nothing (much as Titty had been at her age, he remembered). "And what do you mean, again?"
"Oh...just that you stared at Nancy all the way here."
"I was talking to her. And staring isn't in my line, by the way. That's more Roger's thing. Watch him with Dot, and you'll find yourself a proper romance to coo about."
Bridget paused, disappointed. She had hoped to startle her big brother into a blush, but either he had had a good deal of practice at hiding his emotions, or he was telling the truth. She said something that sounded like "Denial is not a river in Egypt," but her heart wasn't in it, and she ran off.
"I heard that whole conversation, you know," a voice announced from the trees.
"Hello, Titty," John replied. "I meant what I said."
"I know you do, now," Titty replied cheerfully, swinging herself down out of the tree and sitting next to John. "But you can't deny that when I first came back, I thought we were losing you the way we've lost Roj."
"Well, you didn't."
"Why was that?" Titty would never have asked her remote older brother intensely personal questions like these a year ago, but her return from a mysterious near-tragedy in Europe, along with their father's death about five months ago, had brought the pair very close together.
"Because..." John glanced at Titty, and decided that she deserved a full answer. "Because just when my feelings were going to get serious, Squashy started hanging round her. I just chose to back off. I hadn't fallen in love with her, though admittedly it was on its way. But honestly, of course it was hard to start with, but it's all gone away and died a death now." He paused. Poor choice of words. "Trust Bridget to only twig when it was all over."
Titty laughed. "Our Bridgie's going to grow up to be another version of Nancy, you know."
"To strike fear into the hearts of any and all passing adults, and young men of her age?"
"I was thinking more of her having a long and irritating string of young men in love with her, but I take your point," Titty replied.
"Speaking of young men in love, what have you done with your fiancé?" John asked.
"Oh, he's having last-minute nerves," she replied airily.
"Dick spoke to you about last-minute nerves?" John asked, incredulous. He wasn't experienced in that sort of thing but he was sure that went against all the unspoken rules of love.
"Of course not, silly, he doesn't even really know he's having them himself. I was on my way to find him when I overheard you and Bridgie. I'm off now."
It was past sunset when John eventually collected his thoughts and stood up. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted to the island population at large: "Everybody, TIME TO GO!" Being friends with Nancy all these years had taught him a thing or two about being heard, and within twenty minutes his friends were assembled in front of him. "Right, everyone," he continued at a more normal volume. "Bridget, this time you are going with Dick and Titty in Scarab II. I'm going to go with Nancy in Emmeline." Bridget opened her mouth to make a sarcastic comment about this, but instantly received a series of frowns from her elders, and closed it abruptly.
A very few minutes later, John and Nancy were afloat, and listening with much amusement to Bridget's disgusted complaint of "Do you have to be fluffy in front of me?"
"They've got something very special," Nancy commented after a minute, a soft and un-Nancy-ish smile on her face.
"They have," John agreed. He took stock of the smile on Nancy's face, and grinned himself. "When are you and Squashy getting married then?"
"We aren't even engaged, John, and we aren't ever going to be." Nancy had all but given up getting John to see that the affection was one-sided. "Last time I looked, this wasn't the Dark Ages, and nobody can force me into any marriages that I don't want to take part in."
"I'd like to see someone try it," John replied with a smile. "Though I would feel it my duty to make sure a doctor was on hand first." He paused, and processed what Nancy had just said. "You don't want to marry Timothy?"
"I'd rather stay single all my life, thankyou very much." Nancy shuddered. "I don't want to spend my whole life tethered to a wet dishrag, you know."
"Harsh words." John was feeling a deep sense of regret at having smothered his feelings for Nancy. There was no sense of joy that Nancy was unattached; he had had his chance and missed it, and now he would probably have to wait years for the right girl to come along. Presuming, of course, that one day she would.
Never been afraid of love till I met you
Never thought a girl could make me feel the way you do.
Rewritten 14/04/08.
Rewritten (again) Dec 09. Title taken from Take a Chance on Me by Abba. Lyrics taken from Afraid of Love by Toto (one of my favourite songs ever ever ever, in case you were wondering about that...)
