The birds, singing cheerfully outside his bedroom window, slowly lured Caleb out of his sleep. He sat up and looked around but nothing seemed out of place. He threw himself back on his pillows, closing his eyes. What happened last night? He had hazy memories come to mind as he conjured the events of the previous day. They had drank beer, lots of it. They had eaten pizza and walked around the neighborhood after the sun had set. But most importantly, they had talked. Not only about Sarah, about everything. But Caleb would be lying if he said she hadn't been the main subject for the better part of his evening with his friend.
Slowly rolling out of bed, Caleb slipped on a pair of sweatpants before making his way to the guest room. When he entered, he found it empty.
Combing his hand through his ruffled hair, he turned around and headed to the living room. He didn't think Pogue had have been drunk enough to pass out on the couch but he didn't know where else he would be.
Before he could get to the living room, Pogue called out for him in the kitchen. When Caleb arrived, he noticed two tall and steaming mugs of coffee.
"It took me a while to figure out your coffee machine. Where did you buy it, Nasa?" He joked as he sat down.
Caleb chuckled and sat down. Although he wasn't as hungover as the day before, drinking two nights in a row did take a toll on his body. After all, he wasn't 18 anymore.
"How are you feeling?" Pogue asked after taking a few sips of his cup.
Caleb sighed and forced a grin.
"A little hangover never killed anyone." He teased with a coy smile.
"Caleb… how are you feeling?"
Caleb looked up at his friend. He could see the deep concern in his eyes and knew he had to tell him everything.
"You know… what happened with Sarah… it's just going to keep on happening. Year after year the urge to use gets stronger. I don't want my fight against my powers to consume me. It's no better than abusing my powers."
Pogue nodded. He too had considerable powers, but it was nothing compared to what Caleb had. He had always been the strongest out of the four and now with his father's power, he was on a completely different level. Although he didn't live the same struggle, Pogue sympathised with his best friend greatly.
"You know when I got into Harvard, I saw an opportunity to do something about my struggle. I didn't want to sit around, waiting for it to devour me."
Pogue frowned and tightened his grip on his cup.
"Pogue… I'm looking for a way to make my powers go away…" Caleb said in a hushed voice as he averted his gaze downwards.
Pogue snorted, eyebrow tightly knit in confusion.
"Wha-what do you mean?"
"I don't want to feel my powers, or to be tempted everyday to use them. You have to understand… I don't want this, but I there's no other way."
"What do you mean 'there's no other way'? Caleb you're strong! You can fight this, I know you can."
"You don't get it!" Caleb barked, louder than he had anticipated. He could feel a headache starting to take hold of his head. "It's everyday, Pogue. Everyday I get up and I have to fight it. It's always there in the back of my mind, gnawing and screaming at me to use it. It's…" Caleb let out a short sigh and collected his thoughts before continuing. "I'm tired, Pogue. it's only been a few years since I ascended and it's already starting to tear me apart."
Pogue shook his head softly, disbelief and sadness shining in his eyes.
"Believe me if there was something else I could do, I would. The Power is part of me, it shaped who I am… But I can't let it destroy me."
Pogue looked out the window with pursed lips.
"Pogue, I'm doing this so I can be around longer, not to try to erase who… what I am."
"I know it's just… Unheard of. Are you even sure it can be done?"
Caleb exhaled loudly and drank some of his coffee.
"I'm looking for anything that relates to The Power. So far I only found a few fragments here and there, but I'm not losing hope." Caleb said as he let his eyes wonder around the kitchen. His eyes eventually fell on the pastel blue electric kettle. Sarah had bought it during a road trip they had done to celebrate his acceptance into Harvard. Bittersweet memories now flooded his mind, forcing him to think about her.
"I miss her. And I'm going to miss for a long time." He turned to look at Pogue. "I don't want something like this to happen again… Ever."
Caleb rubbed his mouth and sighed.
"I just want to make sure it's really what you want." Pogue said as he wrapped both hands around his warm cup.
"It is." Caleb's voice was unflinching. Pogue nodded and finished his coffee in silence.
When both were done, Pogue got up and smiled.
"Come on, let's clear our heads!"
Caleb looked Pogue drive away from his living room, a faint smile still resting on his lips. Pogue hadn't stayed long, but it was enough to help Caleb in ways only an old friend ever could have helped him. He knew he still had a long road before he could put Sarah behind him. She meant so much to him and her presence was still occupying a large part of his psyche. Although he would be lying if he said he didn't wish to win her back, he knew her well enough to know that when she said things were over she meant it. He also wanted to spare himself the pain of trying.
He slowly made his way to his study. Next to his computer sat a heavy framed picture. He looked at it longingly but knew what had to be done. He grabbed the picture with both hands and, after taking one final look, hid it away in a cupboard he rarely used. He knew looking at the picture would only fill him with pain and bittersweet memories but he couldn't bring himself to throw it away.
With a heavy sigh, he sat at his desk and turned on his computer. He opened the folder containing all his notes about his research and, after staring blankly at his screen for a few minutes, decided he would message some professor of interest. He had a long list of names of people he hoped could point him in the right direction. He had already contacted and crossed off more than half.
He put his headphones on and went to work. Although he was getting very good at it, he always had a hard time wording his e-mails. What he was looking for was so specific and of general unimportance for scholars that he had to be careful and ask broader questions. This led him, more than once, to chase false leads.
For some odd reason, Caleb had a good feeling about this particular batch of e-mails. Something within him seemed to whisper that one of those professors would have what he was seeking.
The strong smell of chlorine filled Caleb's noise as he stepped out of the lockers. The pool, a bright shade of blue, was calm and near empty. Only a few students were training, and a handful of others were talking quietly on the benches.
After stretching, Caleb jumped into the pool. He started swimming, synchronizing his strokes with his breathing. Breath in, reach on the left. Breath out, reach on the right. In, left. Out, right. Just as he was nearing the other side of the pool, he saw her in the corner of his eye. Caleb jerked up and looked around the pool agitatedly. Spinning around on himself, his gaze swept the room for Sarah. Frowning he nimbly jumped out of the pool and tore his goggle off his face. He let out an exasperated sigh and made his way to lockers. It seemed the only time when he was safe from these haunting memories was when he was pouring over old books.
Leaving barely after he had arrived, Caleb threw on his clothe and didn't look back as he left the building. When he arrived home, he rushed to his study. Most professors would take at least a week before answering him, but he decided to check his e-mails nonetheless. Comfortably sat in his leather chair, Caleb opened his inbox. What did I expect? He thought dryly as he stared at the empty screen. He sighed and picked up his phone.
And there she was, so close and yet so far. He thought back to when he took that picture of her, on their roadtrip. Her smile, so fresh and sweet, still made his heart skip a beat. Even after she had left him.
His thumb hovered over the call button, slightly trembling. He knew he shouldn't but he wanted to hear her voice again so badly. He missed her terribly. Entranced, his eyes were glued to her face.
A loud bell made him jump, pulling him back to reality abruptly. He looked at his computer screen quizzically. A reply? He opened his mail and read it ravenously.
Good evening Mr. Danvers,
I am always glad to help students with such passion for the religious history of North America. Although I never wrote a paper on witchcraft in New England, I do remember a colleague that had this particular subject for many of her researches. I wouldn't be surprised if many of her studies were at the Harvard library. Her name is Helene Stone. Unfortunately, I have lost touch with her and cannot give you her contact information.
Cordially,
Eric Matthews
Caleb couldn't fight the slight flutter that took hold of his heart. He hastily noted the name of the researcher and thanked Matthews for his help.
Caleb's attention inevitably returned to his phone. It was still open on Sarah's contact screen. He pursed his lips and frowned. Quickly, hoping he wouldn't change his mind before doing it, Caleb deleted the contact from his phone.
He sat back in his chair and let out a long drawn out sigh. It hurt him, but he knew no good could come from keeping her in his phone. And with his powers screaming at him daily another source of temptation was the last thing he needed…
But how he wished she was there to give him strength.
Please R&R :)
