Unexpected Chances Ch3
I sat in silence watching her face in the firelight. She had grown more beautiful since I had last seen her. Her brow was furrowed in concentration and she bit her bottom lip as she studied the different maps spread out on the ground in front of her.
"Mistress" someone called as they approached her. I looked up and watched him with her as he handed her something warm to drink. She nodded her thanks and spoke to him in a low hushed voice about their plans for tomorrow's attack. I didn't really pay attention to their conversation but I did pay close attention to the way he got close to her.
"Murrough" her voice spoke soothingly snapping me out of a jealous haze. He looked at her like she was the Creator and waited as though his very life depended on her next command. And it did. That was confession. "Bed down in my tents for the night."
"Yes Mistress." He said turning to quickly follow her orders. I couldn't stop shacking as I stared at her expressionless face. How could she order him to her bed in front of me? I stood quickly hurling my cup at the tree with an angry force. She startled and looked up with a surprised gaze as the red liquid splashed to the ground beside her.
"Richard?" she asked concerned but I didn't care. Coming here had been a mistake, I thought. Maybe if she had told me before, but practically slapping me in the face with the news she had taken a mate….even Zedd hadn't sent word…nothing.
"Richard! Wait!" I heard her following me to keep up. I ignored her, slamming the flaps to my tent open and tossing the small table and its contents over with fury. Anything that was in my way was kicked or thrown as my anger boiled to a dangerous level.
"Richard! Stop this! What's wrong with you?" She screamed as she managed to grab me by the shirt pulling me to face her with both hands. I shoved her away and she stumbled but caught herself. Her eyes were wide with fright. How could she not know? I wondered balling my hands into fists. Taking a few steps towards her, my heart shattered when she lifted her arms to block her face.
My anger distinguished in that moment, only becoming the sorrow that I tried to hide.
"Kahlan…I'm not going to hit you. You know me better than that." She looked up at me; her eyes still hesitant and untrusting as she set the table back to its proper place again.
"Tell me what's wrong, Richard."
"How could you?" I asked through gritted teeth. "Why, Kahlan? Why'd you do that in front of me, knowing how I still feel about you?"
"What?" she asked clearly confused.
"You ordered your mate to your bed…..in front of me!" I yelled in her face, grabbing her arms and pinning them to her sides. "Do you know what that did to me, Kahlan?"
Understanding seemed to wash over her and she released herself from my grasp and sat down on the cot. She looked up at me through tears saying "Richard. I would never do that to you. I couldn't."
Kneeling in front of her I took her face in my hands "You ordered him to your tent…I thought…"
"No….no…" She began losing control of her emotions as small tears made their way down her face. "I'm sorry, Richard….I wasn't thinking. I only was hoping that you would want me to stay with you." She said hopefully reaching out to caress my chest.
"So he's not your mate then?" I asked smiling widely. But when she threw her arms around my neck and began to sobb, I knew then that he was…and I could never be anything to her.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I sobbed, holding on for dear life to Richard so afraid he would disappear. He wasn't holding me but I wouldn't expect him too, now that he knew.
Sitting up I wiped the tears from my face. "Do you hate me?" The words escaped before I had the chance to think.
"No." He said softly not meeting my gaze. He fumbled with the pendant around his neck, searching for something to say. "So…do you have a child then?"
"No." I wailed and wrapped my arms around myself. "I haven't been able to."
"Oh. Is there something that Zedd can do?" He asked, not understanding what I had meant.
"Zedd can't do anything. There's nothing wrong with me, Richard….except I….I can't…I can't bring myself to let him touch me." I said covering my face in shame and embarrassment.
"Kahlan…" he spoke softly pulling me to him then and wrapping me in his arms.
"I can't lose you." I wailed clutching him tighter trying to be as close to him as I could.
"You're not going to lose me…not ever. No matter what happens." He said brushing my tears from my face and kissing me softly on the forehead. "You don't ever have to be afraid of losing me."
I gave him a weak smile and asked "So, is that a yes…I mean about staying here with you tonight? It would be like old times again, just you and me."
"Of course" he said grinning. "But only if you help me get my tent back in order. I seem to have lost my temper a little."
"A little? Come on Richard…don't lie to a confessor." With that we both laughed and helped each other put things back in order.
