"They look nice." Allen said as he stared at their handiwork, "I'm getting hungry just looking at them."
Lenalee giggled. She finished wrapping the plastic bag with the silver ribbon, then stood back and smiled. "It's thanks to you, Allen-kun."
"You did most of the work, Lenalee," Allen smiled. He reached forward and picked up a purple ribbon, tying it around the plastic bag, "I just helped."
But Lenalee shook her head. Smiling, she picked up a plastic bag tied with a silver ribbon with a heart shaped chocolate inside. Allen blinked as she held it out to him. "Here." She said. "Just so you know…this isn't giri-chocolate."
"Giri-chocolate?"
"Chocolate given as an obligatory gift to colleagues." Lenalee explained, meeting Allen's eyes. "This isn't it."
Lenalee smiled. "Happy Valentine's Day…Allen."
Allen received Lenalee's chocolate. "Lenalee…"
"Sorry. I know it's a strange time, but it's how I feel." Lenalee said, sounding nervous but not taking her eyes off Allen. She smiled sheepishly, "I had a plan, actually. Giving everyone chocolates…I actually did it for you." She confessed. "So I could give you chocolate on Valentine's Day, without it being romantic…so that you wouldn't know."
"I mean, you already have so much burden on your shoulders, I didn't want to add another one, but I couldn't just keep my feelings inside-ah!" Lenalee gasped as Allen pulled her into a hug. She blushed. "Allen-kun?"
"Lenalee." Allen said. He was smiling. "Thank you." He murmured, tightening his grip. "Just…you're not a burden, okay? You will never be a burden to me." He smiled wryly. "Your feelings are quite welcome, actually."
"Allen…"
"But, we're in a war." Allen said. He tightened his grip on Lenalee. "In such uncertain times, things, precious things like feelings can be taken advantage of by the enemy." He said lowly. "I don't want that to happen. I don't want to lose anyone precious to me anymore."
"That's why…I…"
"Allen-kun…" Lenalee raised a hand, placing it on Allen's cheek gently. She looked into his eyes, smiling. "I understand." She said. "I like you, Allen. Knowing you feel the same, it's more than enough for me."
"But," Lenalee met Allen's gaze steadily. "It's the first time I've liked someone this way. And whether this becomes more…" she brushed a lock of white hair away, a soft look in her eyes. "I need to know our friendship won't change. That we won't change."
"We won't." Allen promised, placing a hand on Lenalee's hand on his cheek. He smiled at her. "It's my first time too." He said. "We don't exactly have the ideal setting for a relationship…but know that I'll always care for you." He smiled. "No matter what happens to me."
"Don't…talk like that." Lenalee said, blinking back the tears in her eyes. "Don't smile like that. Not today." She closed her eyes. "Can't you share some of your burden with me?"
"I am." Allen said softly as he hugged Lenalee. "I haven't held someone like this for too long."
"Please don't cry, Lenalee."
Lenalee sniffed. She opened her eyes which shone with unshed tears. "I don't want to lose you."
"I'm here." Allen smiled as he ran his hand through Lenalee's beautiful hair, his other hand cupping her cheek. "I'm here, Lenalee. With you." He said. "I don't want to leave you either."
"Now," Allen withdrew from Lenalee, smiling genuinely. "Today's Valentine's Day, isn't it? A day of hearts and love." He said, gesturing to the plastic bags on the table. "And we've made hearts for our precious friends."
"But before that," Allen picked up a plastic bag with a violet ribbon. The chocolate heart inside was wrapped in silver. He smiled as he held the plastic bag out to Lenalee, at how the violet ribbon matched the color of her pretty eyes. "Happy Valentine's Day, Lenalee."
Lenalee was surprised. She blinked, then smiled and received the heart wrapped in silver inside the plastic bag tied with a violet ribbon, as Allen said, "By the way, this isn't giri-chocolate either."
"I know." Lenalee said with a happy smile. She untied the plastic bag and scooped up the heart wrapped in silver. She held it against her own heart. "Thank you, Allen."
Allen smiled, a true smile. He turned to the other chocolate hearts on the table, as Lenalee stood by his side.
"Then, we should start giving those hearts to everybody, shouldn't we?"
"One hour, twenty eight minutes and approximately 36 seconds have passed since the antidote was administered. Second Exorcist Kanda Yuu has shown no signs of regeneration. The subject's body seems unable to withstand internal dysfunction."
Lavi sat on the chair near the bed, resting his chin on his linked hands. "It's been some time since I last observed you." He said.
"It seems like Komui Lee was careless," a hand rested on the hammer, "Too careless."
"I will make a suitable antidote myself if I have to." Lavi stood up, glancing at the unconscious Kanda with one green eye. "I cannot allow Yuu to die."
"But first, I need to know the ingredients of the poison," The orange haired figure walked to the door, gaze hard, "Komui may be careless and frivolous, but his chemicals are not."
"Which reminds me, Lavi is supposed to be 'fun and frviolous'." He said, retrieving his hammer from its place. "It's a good thing Bookman isn't here."
The redhead opened the door, and blinked.
"Lavi." Lenalee said in surprise as she stood with Allen. She smiled. "What a coincidence! We were just about to enter to give you and Kanda your chocolates."
"I see."
"Is something wrong?" Lenalee asked in concern.
The orange haired boy blinked. He smiled, sliding his hammer back, "Nope." Lavi said. "Nothing, Lenalee." He turned, "Well, come in!"
Lenalee and Allen entered Lavi's room and Lenalee said, "Kanda's still not awake?"
"Nah." Lavi said. He smiled at Lenalee's worried expression, "Don't worry, Lenalee. Yuu will wake up." He reassured her. "After all, he's Kanda Yuu! He's not gonna die from some stupid poison."
"Yeah, he said he can't die until he found that person." Allen said. He shrugged, trying not to look worried, "So, he's probably fighting the poison now."
Lenalee walked to Kanda's side. She reached out a hand, placing it on his forehead. "He has no fever." She observed, taking back her hand. "Perhaps his body is just resting."
"How long has it been?"
"Over an hour." Lavi replied.
"Oh." Lenalee said, anxiety written across her features. She clenched her fists. "Maybe I should talk to big brother-"
She was interrupted by a coughing sound. Lenalee's eyes widened and she turned her gaze to the moving body. "Kanda!"
Kanda coughed harshly, "Trash…can." He managed.
"Here." Lavi held up the dustbin, looking at Kanda. Kanda choked, then vomited something out, and collapsed back onto the bed with a tired sigh.
"One hour, thirty minutes and fourteen seconds."
"Eh?" Allen said.
Lavi smiled at him. "Just recording." He said. He put the dustbin down, then turned to Kanda. "How are you feeling, Yuu?"
"Like that fucking bastard Komui is drilling a hole through my head."
Lavi smiled. "I'll take that as you're fine then."
Kanda grumbled. He raised his gaze, "What the hell are you all doing here?"
"We were worried about you." Lenalee said. She bit her lip. "I'm sorry…Kanda." She said. "I didn't know big brother had poisoned my chocolates."
"It's fine." Kanda mumbled. "It's not your fault."
"The antidote worked after all." Allen said in relief and Kanda stared at him. "What?"
"Nothing." Kanda turned away and scoffed. "Seeing you and your stupid white hair when I wake up is not exactly an appealing sight." He said. "Moyashi."
"It's Allen!" Allen shouted automatically. He sighed. "Whatever, Bakanda."
"Kanda." Lenalee said, and he turned to look at her. She smiled at him, holding out the plastic bag towards him. "We made the chocolates again. It's safe to eat."
Kanda looked at her, then took the plastic bag, "Thanks." He said, to everyone's surprise. He scowled. "This'll get rid of the disgusting taste in my mouth." He said darkly. "Once I get out of this bed, I'm going to kill Komui."
"You don't need to go that far…" Lenalee tried with a sheepish smile.
"Take me with you." Lavi said. Everyone stared and he blinked. "What?"
"You must have been influenced by Kanda." Allen said wryly.
"Well, he almost killed Yuu."
Allen looked at him. "You really care for him, don't you?"
Lavi looked back. He lowered his voice. "Yuu is important to me." He said. "More important than he knows."
"You don't know him as well as I do Allen, so I don't expect you to understand."
"Lavi…" Allen said in surprise. He hesitated, then said, "I'm sorry."
"No apologies needed, Allen." Lavi smiled, patting Allen's shoulder fondly. "Yuu's alive after all."
"Of course." Allen said. He smiled wryly. "Kanda wouldn't die so easily."
"He didn't mean to," Lenalee said to Kanda, but she looked guilty. "I apologize on behalf of my brother, Kanda."
Kanda's gaze was sharp. "Don't apologize for something that isn't your fault."
"Anyway," Allen said, "Lenalee, where's the chocolate for Lavi?"
"Oh. It's the one with the orange ribbon." Lenalee bent, pulling out the small plastic bag from the bigger one. She smiled, giving it to Lavi. "Happy Valentine's Day, Lavi. Did you give that heart to the person yet?"
"Not yet." Lavi said as he received the chocolate heart from Lenalee. He smiled at her. "Thanks, Lenalee."
Lenalee flicked her gaze away for a second, but Lavi didn't miss it. He watched as she smiled at them. "I'm glad Kanda's okay." She said genuinely. "We'll be going now then, we still have so many people to give hearts to!"
"Let's go, Allen-kun."
"Yeah. Looks like Komui deserved his chocolate after all." Allen said. He smiled. "We'll see you guys later."
"Bye Allen, Lenalee."
Lavi watched as Allen and Lenalee left the room. The door closed behind them. He turned his attention to Kanda, who was looking dazed. "Yuu?"
"What?"
Lavi smiled. "Thank God you're okay."
Kanda looked at him. "Just because we're Exorcists does not mean we have to believe in God."
"It was just a figure of speech." Lavi said, looking at Kanda. "Kanda."
"…What's with you?"
"Me?" Lavi blinked.
"You're acting strange." Kanda narrowed his eyes. He bit into the chocolate heart. "Don't look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like," Kanda's voice dropped, his posture tensing, black eyes flashing, "I'm an experiment."
Lavi blinked. Then he smiled. He put down the plastic bag on the bed. "Hey Yuu." He said. "Why did you name yourself Kanda?"
"Huh?"
"I mean," Lavi said as Kanda stared at him, "You hate it when anyone calls you Yuu. What's so bad about calling you by your name?" He said. "Everyone in the Order –well mostly everyone, we address each other by our first names. You're the only one who doesn't want anyone to call you by your first name."
"Why are you asking?"
"Because I'm curious." Lavi said simply. "And I want to know more about you."
Kanda was silent. Lavi waited until he spoke, "It holds painful memories." He said, looking away. "Which I would rather not remember."
"Yuu…"
"There was one person who called me that." Kanda said. His gaze lowered. "Stupid idiot who was so familiar with me…" he swallowed. "He's gone now."
"Sorry."
"What are you apologizing for?" Kanda muttered. He looked at Lavi. "You remind me of that idiot. Stupid rabbit."
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
"Who knows." Kanda said. "Now that you know the reason," he looked at Lavi, "Will you stop calling me by my first name?"
"You're surprisingly nice." Lavi said and Kanda blinked. He grinned. "I mean, Mugen's not at my throat!"
"I'm just…tired." Kanda gritted his teeth. "I have no energy because of whatever that bastard Komui put in Lenalee's chocolate."
"It's a good thing the antidote worked."
"Of course it worked." Kanda said in a matter of fact tone as if it couldn't be otherwise. "I can't die. Not yet."
Lavi laughed. Kanda stared at him, and he said, "Sorry Yuu," he smiled. "I've gotten too used to calling you 'Yuu'." He confessed. "So, can I be the new one person who calls you that?"
"You never asked my permission." Kanda growled. He turned, scoffing. "Suit yourself, stupid rabbit. I'm going to sleep."
"Want me to carry you to your room, Yuu-chan?"
"Don't you dare touch me."
"Well, I carried you here." Lavi put up his hands as Kanda glared at him. "Okay, okay. Go on and sleep. Forget I said anything."
"Lavi," Kanda said. He narrowed his eyes. "You know nothing about me." He met Lavi's eye. "So stop trying to get close to me. You don't know me."
"Really, Yuu? 'Cause I think I know you quite well," Lavi said casually. "You eat soba for all three meals. You must eat tempura soba before missions. You have your own personal soba bowl. You wake up at 4am and go to sleep at 10pm. You have really good eyesight, 2.0 in both eyes. You have great focus. But if your hair's not tied up, you can't concentrate. You hate sweet things and dessert-type food. You like Japanese green tea. You don't care about money. Your hobby is muscle training. Your favourite color is red-"
"How the hell do you know all that?" Kanda's eyebrow twitched, and he looked a little more awake. "What the fuck, Lavi? Are you a stalker or something?"
"Nope, just a Bookman with a good memory." Lavi said. He smiled. "Surprised, Yuu? I do know you."
"Tch. Shut up and let me sleep."
"Of course, Yuu-chan."
Kanda sent him one last glare and let out a scoff, then closed his eyes. Lavi waited until he heard the sound of soft breathing, then said, "I know you better than you think." He said. "Yuu. I know everything there is to know about you."
"Second Exorcist, Yuu. Kanda was a name you gave yourself when you arrived with General Tiedoll because you needed a last name." Lavi said softly, staring at the asleep Kanda with his green eye. He smiled wryly. "The only Second Exorcist alive. Because you killed the other one so that you could live." He said. "Is that who 'Lavi' reminds you of, Yuu? Is 'Lavi' like Alma? Was he 'fun and frivolous' too and got along well with everyone, even you?"
"I know everything about you." Lavi smiled. "You're the one who knows nothing about me."
"Did the Order think we would not know?" Lavi said idly. He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out the orange heart. "About its secret history?" He said. "Did it think that as Bookmen, we were only interested in what would become history?" He looked at Kanda, his one green eye hard. "And not what has been history and yet is still alive?"
"I hate it." Lavi said. His fist clenched. "I hate it so much. It's just further proof of the foolishness of humans." He said lowly. "How they wage war, and how they will do anything; torture, cruelty, trickery, all for the sake of winning a war."
"How old were you when you went through such torture?" Lavi turned his gaze to Kanda. He smiled. "But I don't hate you, Yuu." He said. "I hate them who did this to you. Who used you for their own selfish purposes. You were innocent." He inhaled. "But they're all dead anyway."
Silence enveloped the room as Lavi held the orange heart up to his green eye. "You stabbed me in the heart, didn't you?" Lavi said to himself. "In the Ark. You stood in front of me and stabbed me through my heart. And I let you." He blinked. "Even though it wasn't real, it felt so real. That pain." He said, hand going to his heart. "It's something I would rather not experience again."
"So I guess I'm really an idiot, like you call me, to want to give this heart to you."
"You said you would never die until you found that person." Lavi said. He smiled wryly. "But now I'd like to think you have another reason to not die in this war." He looked at Kanda. "I've already seen so many die in all those wars. I've seen them slowly bleed to death, and not just turn into dust." He said. "But you're the one person who said he can't die no matter what, and I know you'll keep your word."
"If you die, Yuu," Lavi placed the orange heart on the sleeping Kanda's chest, over his beating heart. "This heart dies with you."
The redhead withdrew. He looked at the sleeping Kanda, the smile gone from his face, his orange bangs almost touching his serious green eye.
"Bookmen have no need of a heart, so you can have mine."
He turned. "Whether you want it or not."
With those words, the orange haired bookman walked to the door, opening it. He gave one last glance at Kanda, then turned his attention back to the front, walking out the door and closing it behind him, heading to the library to clear his thoughts.
The figure on the bed stirred. Slowly, Kanda opened his eyes, looking at the closed door. "You let your guard down." He said. "Bookman Junior."
The swordsman sat up. The orange heart tumbled down and he quickly caught it, looking at it as he held it in his hand. Kanda stared at the heart, then closed his eyes, fingers closing around the heart Lavi had given him in an unusually gentle gesture, a low murmur leaving his lips in his mother tongue.
"Stupid Rabi."
Omake
"What is it, Moyashi?"
"Huh?"
Kanda frowned. "What are you staring at me for?"
"Nothing." Allen said. He hesitated, then voiced, "Is this really okay?"
Kanda looked confused, so Allen continued, "You were finally free, Kanda," he reminded. "You finally reunited with Alma. You were happy, weren't you?"
"Yeah."
"So why did you come back?"
"I told you," Kanda said in impatient annoyance, "I couldn't die in peace because of you." He said. "I have a new responsibility."
Allen raised an eyebrow. "Since when was I so important to you?"
Kanda looked at him sharply. "Since it was my fault the 14th was awakened." He said. "Because of that, the tide of this war has changed."
"But you hate the Order." Allen pointed out, narrowing his eyes. "Because
of what they did to you and Alma. You may hate them even more than the Noah."
Kanda was silent. He stared at Allen and Allen stared back.
There was a yawn, and the scientist who had been sleeping said sleepily, "What's going on?" Johnny said, lifting his head. He blinked. "Allen, you're awake?"
"Yeah. Kanda and I were just talking." Allen smiled. He laid a reassuring hand on Johnny's shoulder. "You can go back to sleep." He said. "You must be tired…coming all this way from the Order to search for me."
"Thank you, Johnny."
"No problem, Allen. We're friends, aren't we?" Johnny smiled back from behind rounded, thick glasses. "You're not alone."
"Yeah." Allen smiled. "I know."
"I'm…going back to sleep then." Johnny laid his head back on the bed.
Allen moved, "You can have the bed-"
"No, it's fine. You should rest too."
"…Alright."
Johnny smiled, then closed his eyes. Light snores soon left him, and Allen turned back to Kanda. "What's the real reason, Kanda?" He said. "Not that I don't believe you believe it's your responsibility because you awakened the 14th," he paused, "But it's not the only reason, is it?"
"What makes you say that?"
"Because you went through a lot. I saw everything myself." Allen said lowly, meeting Kanda's eyes. His fist clenched. "What the Order did to you and Alma, what it kept as a secret from all of us…" he inhaled. "Until then, I never knew the history of the Order was so dark."
"Now you know."
"You're not going to tell me, aren't you?" Allen said wryly. "Let me guess, you came back for Lenalee." He said. He allowed himself to feel the guilt tugging at his heartstrings at leaving Lenalee behind, even though he knew she understood the reason he had to leave. Wistfulness entered grey eyes. "You've known her for so long, you knew the impact your death would have on her would affect her greatly."
"Maybe." Kanda said noncommittally.
"And you came back for Lavi too." Allen said. He blinked. "He told me once you're important to him."
"…Stupid rabbit."
Allen raised his eyebrows. "I never knew you two were so close."
"We're not." Kanda said, narrowing his eyes. "He's a Bookman." He said. "No matter how he acts."
Allen blinked. "Wait." He said.
"What?"
"Lavi's a Bookman…" Allen murmured, looking at Kanda, who stared at him, face scrunched slightly. "Kanda, you're…"
"I'm what?" Kanda said, annoyed. "Spit it out, Moyashi."
"My name is Allen!" Allen reminded. He looked at Kanda, as if seeing him for the first time. He smiled. "I think I understand now."
"…Huh?"
"It's just someone who is both a comrade and is of interest to me. Someone really interesting. As a Bookman."
"Yuu is important to me. More important than he knows. You don't know him as well as I do Allen, so I don't expect you to understand."
"No apologies needed, Allen. Yuu's alive after all."
"Of course. Kanda wouldn't die that easily."
Suddenly everything made sense. Now that he knew Kanda's past. Was this why Lavi always seemed to be close to Kanda? Had Lavi known all along, while he and Lenalee did not? Or had Lenalee known? She was Kanda's childhood friend after all. Or had she been kept in the dark as well?
But Lavi…he knew. The realization hit Allen like a sudden epiphany that had been lurking at the back of his mind since he had been shown Kanda's dark past. He probably had known all along.
"What the hell are you talking about, Moyashi?"
"Have you seen Lavi yet, Kanda?"
"No." Kanda frowned. "He wasn't back at the Order. He's probably on a mission."
"When Lavi gets back from his mission," Allen smiled, looking at Kanda. "I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."
"Tch. That idiot's always happy."
"Once he knows what you went through," Allen continued, still smiling, "He'll be glad you're alive, Kanda." He said. "That you decided to come back."
"…Hmph."
Allen smiled in amusement as Kanda turned away, crossing his arms. He laid back against the pillow, cradling his head with his arms, turning his gaze to the window with a smile, feeling genuinely relaxed for the first time in a long while as he allowed himself the time to indulge in fond memories of the past.
"Lavi. Wherever you are…the person you gave your heart to is still alive."
Owari
A/N: Lavi's information on Kanda was taken from Kanda's interview, Kanda's 30 Questions 30 Answers: verduister . livejournal 3913 . html (unable to type the full link because of formatting so google it if you want to see) from CharaGray. Kanda refused to answer so Lavi (and Allen) answered for him. The only information which may not be true is Kanda's favorite color- Lavi simply assumed it was red since he was 'pretty sure Mugen's hilt is deep red'. According to Lavi's interview ( lavi - fan - club . deviantart blog / ; just add the usual http then scroll down to the interview), when asked about Kanda, he replies, "He's really interesting." Which may be why he knows so much about Kanda. Though why so is merely an individual assumption.
