Anna was blinded as she walked out of the house into the sunlight. Everything seemed to be brighter here, the sun, the buildings, and she hoped it would have a positive effect on her attitude. She turned to her left and could see the tops of sails in the harbor. Anna instead walked right, away from the main promenade, and into the heart of Cannes.

The air around her was warm, but not yet suffocating. Anna passed the store with the crêpes and headed down a street that blocked the sun. She had no plans on where she was going, part of her wished she would get miserably lost. She needed some other concern besides John.

As Anna approached a church, she contemplated going inside. Her whole life, she had been trained to go to a church whenever there was trouble. And Anna had spent many hours in kneeling in church the last year. For so many months before the trial, she prayed for John to be found innocent. But once that did not happen, she seemed to disconnect from her faith. John had discussed his struggles with church many times before. He explained about the pain he had seen and caused in the world and wanted to believe in God, but never felt him. In the past, Anna could never fully understand his viewpoint, but finally, after the ups and downs of the last year, she was able to feel the same spiritual struggles. Small doubts crept into her mind whenever she began to pray. But, no, Anna refused to lose faith in God or in John. If she lost faith, she could lose anything.

Anna decided to wait on church, maybe until the way back. She felt like she was in a dangerous mood for prayer. It would probably only end with disappointment and that was not what she needed. Besides, the weather was not too hot yet. She could always seek refuge in the cool, dark church later in the day. Anna managed to convince herself that not entering the church did not mean she gave up hope. And Anna willed herself to believe that her prayers would be answered and John would be free. She just needed to work at her faith just like she had to work to prove John's innocence.

Anna walked through the crowds near some shops. She finally decided to stop in a bookstore. After going row after row, she found nothing that piqued her interests. The shop contained great French books about art, cuisine, and architecture, filled with gorgeous pictures. She paged through a few of them but simply put them back. She finally arrived at a row full of English authors and yet, she just walked past. She had always loved reading, but today, she did not feel like reading a romance novel or a thriller. She found that she had enough suspense in her life without reading a drama. And after being surrounded by Mary and Matthew all week, she hardly wanted another glimpse into someone else's love life. Disappointed, Anna left the store empty-handed. She found her thoughts traveling back to John, alone in his cell.

Anna meandered around the French streets for nearly an hour stewing in her worries. "C'mon, Mrs. Bates, you are on holiday, lighten up." She said quietly to herself. As Anna looked around, she noticed the crowds had thinned and she was in a different part of town. She realized she had managed to find herself in front of a cabaret.

Anna was amid an area that faintly reminded her of the surroundings of the Moulin Rouge. Many summers ago, before the war, Lady Grantham took the girls and Anna to Paris for a few weeks during their time in London. One day, the French chauffeur seemed to find a little enjoyment in taking the fine British ladies through the red light district. At first, no one seemed to notice their surroundings, but the chauffeur continuously looked back at the women and smiled. Finally, Lady Grantham noticed a poster and sternly warned the chauffeur to find his way. The girls seemed confused by the exchange, but Anna had no problem seeing the advertisements for the can-can dancers.

While there was no giant windmill, Anna still spotted similar posters for the cabaret. Very few people spotted the street, but she guessed that would change in a few hours. This part of town seemed to thrive on the night life. As Anna turned to head back to the house, she was drawn to a small shop. With her limited French, she managed to notice the word love in the sign. Anna suspected what the store was, but did not know for sure.

Before she even realized it, she was heading towards the shop. The shrill ring of the bell as she opened the door made Anna jump. She did not need her arrival announced since she was just going to peak in for a second. And yet, Anna continued to walk in. What was coming over her? Curiosity, rebellion, boredom? But Anna thought about it. She was not doing anything wrong, she was a married woman, and she was looking in a store.

Before Anna had the chance to properly look around, the shopkeeper approached her. The French woman had short hair and donned far too much make-up. Anna could smell her thick floral perfume and noticed the leather texture of her skin. The woman smiled smugly as she assessed Anna. She could feel her cheeks burn red as the woman stared. The shopkeeper broke the silence with some pleasantries in French. Or, Anna could only assume they were pleasantries because she did not know much more than Bonjour. But after Anna remained quiet, the shopkeeper seemed to realize.

"English?" she asked and Anna nodded. "How may I help you?"

Anna tried to reply but she felt embarrassed. She was not even sure what to respond. Anna looked around the story and was taken off guard by what she saw. She saw an area filled with lingerie, but her eyes instead lingered on a side wall. Many phallic-shaped objects hung from the wall and various contraptions filled the shelves. Anna had no idea what purpose the contraptions would serve. The French were clearly more brazen about their sexuality. She had never come across a shop like this on repressive English soil.

As Anna looked around, she seemed to lose her nerve. "I… umm." She began to head to the door when she noticed a section by the register. It was a wall full of garters of all different colors. Something about the garters made Anna feel more confident. Maybe because they were innocent enough, but still sensual. Just like she was, well at least according to John.

Anna's mind transferred back to one year ago.

After Lady Mary had shown Anna their wedding night room, she immediately wondered how she would tell Mr. Bates. Maybe she could put it in a note, no, in person would be better. She just needed to figure out how to get him alone. But as luck would have it, he bumped into her outside the servants' hall. Anna heard a few muffled voices from the hall but couldn't tell whose.

"I thought you went off to bed without saying goodnight." John quietly looked around the hall to make sure no one was listening. "Mrs. Bates," he added with a boyish grin. The very fact he could call her that seemed to excite him.

"Well" Anna said quietly, again checking to make sure everyone was outside of earshot. "I found us a room for tonight." Anna watched John's reaction. John's eye grew with understanding.

"You sneaky, sneaky girl," John said filled with surprise and eagerness. They had agreed how they would have to wait to tell everyone before consummated their relationship. They were to have a proper night together once they were in the open. And yet, John did not ask how Anna secured a room. He only asked when and where. He clearly hated the idea of waiting any longer as much as she did.

Anna quickly described the room they were to meet in one hour. And John just stared at her quietly with a smile.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Well, my wife seems to be sweet, but" he paused and moved closer "she is a very naughty girl" he hissed into her ear. Anna would have kissed him there but knew the others were so close. Instead, she disappeared from his sight in silence, hoping to build more suspense, and waited for their rendezvous.

The memory put a smile on Anna's face. Yes, a garter would work perfectly. She seemed to embody the duality of pureness and sexuality, just like the garters. They were nothing too outlandish, and yet, had a very specific purpose. And the idea of hiding the garter under her dress, waiting for John to find it, sounded wonderful.

"I'm interested in one of those." And then the shopkeeper led Anna to the garters. Excitement replaced all sense of shame and embarrassment. John would love hearing about this purchase. The shopkeeper showed Anna some of the different colors and styles. Some have designs while others were plain.

Anna grabbed a simple, white lace garter. There was a little white bow in the center of the lace. Anna held it in her hand and enjoyed how soft it was. Yes, this would work perfectly.

"Ah, yes a good choice." The shopkeeper encouraged her. She appeared to want to show Anna around more of the store, but Anna walked to the register. "I think this will be all."

The shopkeeper looked disappointed. As Anna paid, the woman asked, "Would you like it wrapped?"

"Yes." Anna said quickly. She hoped it would be discretely wrapped. She did not need half of Cannes and Lady Mary to realize her purchase. This garter was for her and John only.

Anna received her wish. The garter was covered in brown paper and small enough to fit in her bag. She tucked it into her purse and tentatively said "Merci" to the shopkeeper.

As Anna returned to the streets, she felt oddly renewed. It felt nice to have a little secret. She was reminded of the day after the wedding.

After only get a couple of hours of sleep together, John reluctantly woke up Anna with a kiss. "We better both get downstairs. We wouldn't want to get caught."

After they dressed and put the room back into order, Anna softly kissed John goodbye. She had not wanted the night to end, but there was no point on dwelling on that.

Anna and John did not meet again until breakfast. Most of the servants were quiet since they were still a house in mourning. Anna struggled to stifle her happiness as she took her usual spot next to John. She avoided his eye contact because she knew she would not be able to shown restraint. Anna should have been exhausted, and yet, she had never felt so alive. Their previous night was replaying in her head again and again. And no one else knew about their secret tryst.

Anna could not contain her excitement. Making sure no one else was watching, she brazenly grabbed John's leg under the table. He clearly had not expected such a gesture as his entire body trembled. In their years together, Anna and John had briefly touched or even held hands under the table, but Anna had never dared such a bold move. She continued to avoid eye contact as she caressed his leg. She looked around at everyone, completely oblivious. Yet she could hear John's breaths increase. He was working hard to restrain himself, but that's not what she wanted. She wanted him to take her right there on the table. At that thought, Anna lost all control and grinned brightly. Ms. O'Brien seemed to notice, but at that moment, Mr. Carson came in and both women remained quiet. Mr. Bates took the opportunity to free himself from the torture and left for upstairs.

Since Jane had left that morning, Anna was alone to make the beds in the ladies' rooms. She was busy fumbling with the sheet when she saw John in the doorway.

"I'm glad I found you alone." He clearly wanted to say Mrs. Bates, but did not since he was still in the hall. He walked in and closed the door behind him.

Anna watched as he closed the door and did not know what to expect. Was he going to reciprocate her brazen action with one even more so? He walked over and held her and kissed her. She felt herself melt into his body. But too soon, he pulled away.

"That's all I can risk." He said reluctantly, and he was right. But she wanted to risk it all and just be together again.

John started again, "But I need to talk to you about breakfast." Anna knew this was coming. "It's not that I don't appreciate it, but it's too dangerous. Even if everyone knew we were married, we have to show restraint."

Of course, John knew a lot about self-control and so did Anna. They had practiced it for seven years with each other. But Anna finally felt she should be free to express her love. But alas, he was right. She would just have to wait to get him behind closed doors again.

"I promise, I will fully reciprocate, once we get our own place. I've been thinking I would tell his lordship on Wednesday and see if the offer still stood for the cottage. I can't see why it wouldn't. But it's going to take time, weeks, maybe even a month. So moments like this morning can't continue."

He edged closer to kiss her again. "But don't think I don't enjoy it, because I do, a little too much." And with that, he left.

As Anna stood in the French streets, she longed once again to be in that cottage with John. Of course, he never said anything on Wednesday, since he was already in jail. But Anna turned her thoughts away from that and instead contemplated how to tell John about her purchase. She considered writing in a letter, but how would she tell him. No, she would wait to tell him in person. It excited her to think of his face when she mentioned the garter. Yes, it would be nice to have a shared moment to look forward to once he was freed.

As Anna neared the house, she came across the church again. While she contemplated praying earlier in the morning, she could never enter the church with her purchase. The very thought made her blush. She would save the church for another day, she just wanted to get back to her room and secure the garter in her trunk.

Anna had a feeling the garter would appear in one of her dreams. Since she had been sleeping better, more and more of her dreams had been about John. Before they were married, she regularly had fantasies about John. But her dreams recently have been so much more intense and life-like. Maybe because now she knew what it felt like to have John on top of her and inside her, to feel their presence combined into one. She always woke up very warm and flushed after such dreams, but secretly, she always looked forward to them. It reminded her what it felt like to be close to John. As Anna returned to the house, she hoped her night would be filled with a satisfying dream.