"Ask and you shall receive," Barba said with a smirk as he dropped a heavy box of files onto Amanda's desk Friday evening. They landed with a 'thud.'
She sat back in her chair, surprised. "What's this?"
"It's all of the notes on your girls from Dr. Garner's office."
"Jesus," Amanda mumbled.
"Enjoy your bedtime stories, Detective," Barba quipped before walking away.
Jesse was in her pajamas, eyeing her mother in the living room. Her stuffed rabbit - appropriately named Bunny - hung from her little fist by its floppy ear.
"Mama, what are you doin'?" she inquired curiously.
"I'm reading," Amanda explained simply, her head propped up against the armrest of the couch and her legs stretched out across the cushions. A finished glass of whiskey sat forgotten on the side table.
"Can I lay with you?" Jesse asked, already making her way over.
"Of course, but it's gonna be time for bed soon."
"What are you reading?" Jesse climbed up on to the couch and tucked her smaller body in the crook of Amanda's arm, Bunny squished between them against her mother's side. The little girl was warm and soft and smelled like fruity shampoo, the nicest contrast to the gruesome work Amanda did all day.
"Stuff for work."
"Where's dad?"
God, when was she going to have the heart to break her of that habit? "He's watching football with Fin. He'll be home soon."
"Why?"
"Because they like football."
"Do you?"
"I like basketball and baseball better."
"Why?"
Amanda sighed. Was this what being interrogated felt like? She closed the file folder that was resting on her abdomen. "Because different people like different things."
"Do you like... me?" Jesse asked playfully.
She smiled down at her daughter. "I don't just like you, I love you, baby."
Amanda expected Jesse's inquires to continue; her curiosity was insatiable these days. It seemed like her last answer satisfied her, though, because the eager three-year-old went quiet. Soon, Amanda could hear and feel the rhythm of her daughter's steady breathing, indicating that she had fallen asleep even despite the shuffling of papers. Looking down, Amanda saw that Jesse's thumb had made it to her mouth, too. She hesitated moving her to her bed just yet, so Amanda continued to carefully comb through the stack of notes. When Sonny came home, she was still in the very same position.
"You have a good time?" Amanda asked him quietly, unable to get up and greet him without jostling Jesse.
"Terrible game. We had fun, though," he responded, matching her low tone of voice as he hung up his coat. He walked over to them and leaned down over the couch to kiss her. When he pulled away, his palm ran gently over Jesse's head. Carefully, he scooped her up to hold her close to his chest, the little girl's head lolling onto his shoulder, Bunny's ear still in her tight grasp. "Bed time?"
Amanda nodded. "An hour ago."
Left alone, she tried to refocus on the notes in front of her, but her eyes kept blurring. There were so many of them and her head was flooded with snippets of phrases she was trying to hold onto, trying to make something of.
When Sonny returned, he kicked off his shoes and joined her on the couch. She lifted her legs to stretch them over his lap as Sonny rested his feet on the coffee table. "Wild Friday night, huh?" he teased.
She grinned before shaking head. "All these notes... they're weird."
Sonny yawned. "What kinda 'weird' are we talkin' about here?"
Her eyebrows knitting together, she explained, "they are just... focused oddly. A lot of time is spent talking about Laura's looks. I mean, in this one she's there to talk about anxiety, but he's got two paragraphs on her appearance and mannerisms." She grabbed one from the table that she had purposefully put aside. "Listen to this one about Laura: 'patient presents today as pleasant and cooperative. Her hair is neat and shiny. Her legs are pale but toned. Her collarbones appear pronounced and delicate, she has a sweet stare that one could describe as doe-eyed...' It just goes on and on and on like that."
"That's definitely creepy, but-"
"I'm just sayin'. He writes about Cara and Sydney that way too, although they haven't seen him in awhile."
"So what's your workin' theory here, Detective? This doc might reference a potential suspect in his notes - or this doc is the perp?"
"I haven't decided yet. I sorta implied both to Barba to justify getting these," she admitted, gesturing to the paperwork.
"And this guy's in India?"
"I guess so. His secretary said even his wife and kids can't reach him."
"When's he comin' back?"
Amanda sighed and tossed the file she had been looking at onto the coffee table haphazardly. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. God, she was so tired lately, sometimes it hit like a wave crashing over her out of nowhere. "I dunno. The secretary got extremely defensive, talked about how there are plenty of other providers to cover his cases till he returns, she isn't supposed to be giving personal details out about the doctors, blah, blah..."
"Hm," Sonny said thoughtfully. "You look up his license yet? His medical license, I mean. Like, the bar association has my license number and you gotta attach an address to it. Most people put where they're practicin', but some people are dumb enough to put their home address. It's available to the public so any nutjob can see it." Eyes still closed, she felt the warmth of his hand on her knee. "Same goes for doctors. Maybe you'll get lucky lookin' his up."
She opened her eyes up. Why didn't she think of that? "So far I've only googled him. That's pretty smart."
Sonny sighed. "I have my moments. Let's not forget that I do my crossword puzzles in pen."
Sonny had been right.
Dr. Garner had his home address listed with his medical license number. With Fin by her side, Amanda stood on the steps of his elegant upper west side brownstone. She rang the buzzer, hoping somebody would be home.
"This weather almost makes me miss Atlanta," Amanda grumbled, shivering even beneath her heavy winter coat. She pulled her hat down further over her ears, which were beginning to sting from the cold.
Fin shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and glanced over at her. "How come Carisi gets to work a sexting case in a cushy private school while we're out here freezing our asses off?"
She rolled her eyes. "We're on the upper west side, Fin. We're not exactly slummin' it."
The door adorned in stately wrought iron finally creaked open to reveal a curly-haired woman dressed in purple scrubs. She seemed to be in her forties, just a bit overweight with a kind face. Amanda thought she was the type of person who would get lost in a crowd, as she appeared so pleasantly average. She looked at the two of them, confused. "Can I help you?"
"Hi, Mrs. Garner?" Amanda guessed. She revealed her badge. "I'm Detective Rollins, this is Detective Tutuola. Do you have a minute to talk?"
Mrs. Garner's brow furrowed. "Yes, I'm Carol. Police? Did something happen to my boys?" she asked anxiously.
"No. We're trying to gather some information about an ongoing investigation, thought you could be of some help," Fin explained.
"I mean... I don't know about that. I have to go to work soon, but... alright, come in," Carol Garner resigned, opening the door up further to allow the detectives to enter.
Grateful to be out of cold, the two detectives hurried inside. Amanda's eyes scanned the home: it was beautiful and spacious but hardly the most lavish apartment she had ever been inside. It was definitely lived-in: video game consoles sat by the television, sports jerseys were draped haphazardly over the railing of the staircase and somebody had left an unfinished glass of orange juice on the coffee table. There were photographs everywhere, many of them featuring two young boys who Amanda assumed were the Garners' sons.
"Have a seat," Carol instructed, motioning to the living room couch. "What's this about?"
"Your husband, Jeremy, he's a psychiatrist?" Amanda began, pulling her hat off and smoothing down her hair as she sat down.
"Yes, he is. But he's not here right now," Carol explained.
"About that - where is he?"
"India. Every few years he likes to take trips to 'disconnect' and 'reset.' Last year it was Mozambique. He's very sensitive, his work deeply effects him," Carol said with an adoring smile.
"Anyway we can reach him over there?" Fin asked from the seat next to Amanda.
Carol looked between the two detectives. "Reach him? Why?"
"He's the psychiatrist for three women who were attacked recently in the city. We were able to obtain his notes but it'd be helpful to talk to him," Amanda said.
"Oh, I heard about that on the news. Terrible," Carol replied with a sad shake of her head. "I'm sorry, but, he doesn't even bring his cell phone. He's off the grid till the first week of February."
"And you're okay with that, bein' alone with your kids for months?" Amanda asked skeptically.
Carol shifted in her seat, the smile fading from her features. "I support my husband, as he supports me. I'm a nurse, I know how draining taking care of people can be. If he says he needs to go away for awhile for his own professional and personal development, so be it. He always comes back so much more refreshed and... passionate."
"Okay," Fin said flatly, clearly not impressed.
For some reason, this interaction was beginning to annoy her. "Could you give me a call when he gets back, or if you hear from him?" Amanda requested, a still-cold hand pulling her business card from her coat pocket.
Carol plucked it from the detective's fingers and grinned again. "Anything to be of help."
She awoke to her phone ringing.
Moments earlier, Amanda had been sleeping - as one usually is at four o'clock in the morning. Eyes wide and heart racing from the suddenness of the sound, she blindly reached over to the bedside table to fumble for the device before it woke Sonny up, too. Eyes bleary, she saw Fin's name on the screen.
"Fin, what's up?" she whispered, although that was most likely pointless as she already felt Sonny stirring beside her.
"Laura Gray is awake. She woke up a few hours ago, doctor said we could question her," Fin explained.
"I'm coming now. Meet you there," Amanda told him, already getting out of bed as she hung up the phone.
"Who is it?" she heard Sonny ask into his pillow.
"Fin. Laura's awake," she explained, moving through the dark to grab clothes. Frannie watched her from the end of the bed, ears perked, but not interested enough in her owner's movements to abandon her warm spot on the comforter.
"She's got crappy timing," Sonny remarked, voice still muffled.
Amanda pulled on a pair of jeans before peeling off her t-shirt in favor of a bra and button-up. "I know."
She scurried out into the bathroom to splash water on her face and brush her teeth before returning to the bedroom. She could have used some mascara and tinted moisturizer, but that seemed unnecessary given the circumstances. Attaching her gun and her badge to her hip, she said to Sonny's half-asleep form, "I'll see you at the precinct later."
Sonny made a low noise of acknowledgment in response, then she was at the threshold of her apartment, putting on her coat and shoes to brave the bitter cold morning. Not feeling energized enough to walk or navigate the subway, she hailed a cab that brought her straight to the revolving doors of Bellevue. She already knew what floor Laura was on due to countless phone calls Amanda had made to the nursing staff since the young woman had been admitted. She found Fin hovering by the elevator once she arrived to the unit.
"Did you talk to her yet?" Amanda asked her partner.
"Nah, I just got here. Nurses say her memory is spotty but she's alert," Fin explained as they both began to walk toward Laura's room. "Her mother knows we're comin'. She's talking with the doctors now."
Amanda nodded in understanding. She gave a quiet knock to Laura's door before entering with Fin at her heels. The young woman was sitting up in bed, her brunette hair matted and stringy around her face, dark circles beneath her eyes. It was hard to ignore the bruises at her neck that had turned shades of purple, green and yellow as they healed. Her eyes were wide, fearful.
"Hi, Laura. My name's Detective Rollins. You can call me Amanda. This is my partner, Detective Tutuola," Amanda explained gently.
Laura visibly relaxed, but only slightly. "Hi." Her voice was hoarse, most likely from the ventilator she was on while in a coma and the force of the strangulation she had endured.
"How are you?"
Laura gave a shrug. "Look at me," she answered, her tone deadpan.
Hovering by Laura's bed, Amanda glanced over at Fin, who appeared stoic. "We're from Special Victims Unit. We've been working on your case, trying to find out who did this to you," Amanda told her.
She watched Laura swallow; it looked painful.
"Can you remember anything from that night?" Amanda asked carefully.
"My mom keeps asking me that," Laura said, eyes wide again. "I remember coming home from work and being in my bedroom. My cat, Lily, started meowing in the hallway and I went out to check on her and..." Her face contorted with sadness and fear, tears beginning to roll down her colorless cheeks. She looked at Amanda with a kind of panicked desperation and her voice began to tremble. "Everything is so hazy... it scares me that I can't remember, because I wonder what it is I've forgotten... it must be something terrible, because I woke up here, like this. They said I was in a coma for awhile and I almost wish... I almost wish I still was, because I've been scared every minute I've been awake and I don't even know what of..."
"It's okay, Laura. It's okay. You've been through a lot," Amanda assured her, knowing that this line of questioning was more harmful than helpful at the moment. She could have explained to Laura the circumstances under which she was found, but she was clearly too fragile for those details. "We want you to know that we're gonna figure this out. You're safe here. We've had a police officer outside of your door ever since you were admitted."
Laura sniffed and pulled in a shaky breath, appearing unconvinced. Even though she was in her thirties, she looked so young, so vulnerable. Amanda thought of Jesse, how one day she would be an adult but still her baby, still the brightest light in her life. Caroline Gray felt the same way about Laura, except now she was watching that light fizzle out in the wake of unspeakable trauma.
Amanda had to solve this.
