Hidan's always been one of my more approached person when it came to annoying people. It's fun to take the piss out of him since he gets irked much easier than the others (save maybe, Deidara) and he's immortal too, to boot. This meant that no pranks can ever go wrong with him, and oh, trust me, I've taken great liberties with that piece of information. As a result, he's also one member whom I find easier to communicate with.

When Hidan's not on official Akatsuki business, he's usually away fulfilling his duties as a Jashinist. I guess the sun must have rose on the wrong side of the earth today because lo and behold, the famous Jashinist was actually in the Akatsuki's lair, lounging on the couch watching television. Freaking lounging. Now, how could I pass up such a chance to annoy him?

"Zuri says hi," I greeted as I sat down next to him. "Zuri is curious. What is Hidan doing in the lair?"

"None of your fucking business," he spat almost immediately. "Or rather, why are you talking like that dumbass Tobi?"

"I'm not." I faked an accusatory look.

"You were." He said matter-of-factly, looking my way.

"Zuri is confused. Zuri thinks Hidan should get his ears checked." I faked a concern tone.

"See! You're fucking doing it!" He was starting to shout… Good, I thought. Very good.

See what I meant about him getting easily annoyed?

"See what?! Zuri don't know what you're talking about!" I matched his annoyance with even more faked confusion.

"You fucking bitch, you wanna go!?" He stood up, glaring down at me. "Why do you have to be such an annoying piece of shit whenever you see me!?"

"Zuri does not like this." I pouted. "Why is Hidan accusing Zuri of being mean when Hidan is the one being mean?"

"What the fuck!? You're the one fucking talking like Tobi and then saying you're not!" If only I could take pictures with my eyes… I swear everyone needs to see Hidan's raging face. It's fucking priceless.

"I said I'm not talking like Tobi! Why the fuck are you picking on me every time you see me?!" I reverted to normal speech and stood up to meet his glare.

He seems speechless, and just stared at me with an unhinged jaw. Then, he sighed.

"… Fucking nutjob," he muttered. He rolled his eyes and seemed like he was done talking to me.

Eh, I thought. When did Hidan become so boring? Since words are failing me, I guess I'll just have to use actions. As he turned to sit down, I whipped out one of my daggers and slashed it across his neck swiftly. It came off easily, falling into my hand, which was waiting for it. His body dropped onto the couch lifelessly as I grabbed Hidan's head by his hair and placed it on the table gently.

Soon, the shock wore off and his eyeballs rolled back into place. He was looking absolutely furious, and I was absolutely delighted by it.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHER FUCKER!?" He screeched. "I AM 500 PERCENT DONE WITH YOUR SHITTY SHENANIGANS!"

I simply grinned and started poking his cheeks.

"Now, Zuri wouldn't be Zuri if she's not abusing Hidan's immortality everytime Zuri sees him, ne~?"

"Ne~ YOUR FUCKING HEAD!" He yelled.

From the distance, a loud bang was heard, followed by a "SHUT YOUR TRAP, HIDAN!"

"Ah~ Konan's pissed~" I sang.

"Thanks to who!? Now, put me back or I fucking swear I'll cut your dog face into half when I'm back on my body!" He hissed.

"Heh~ Zuri will wait then~" I challenged, and got up from the couch.

"Wait. Where the fuck do you think you're going!? GET BACK HERE!" He started yelling frantically as I walked back up to my room.

"Zuri don't want to~" I skipped up the stairs, glad with my handiwork. "Zuri don't like wearing blood soaked clothes, so Zuri's going to bath!"

"IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN DIRTIED IF YOU DIDN'T FUCKING DECAPITATED ME!" He shrieked. "GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE, WOMAN! AND STOP FUCKING TALKING LIKE TOBI!"

Ignoring his cries, I shut the door behind me, proceeding to go on with the rest of my day.


Way #oo3: Talk in third-person like Tobi, but when anyone questions you about it, speak normal and deny it ever happened.