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Chapter 3: Secrets

The days and weeks seemed to pass pretty fast when I was with Jacob. We spent countless days in La Push. We hung out with his dad, Billy, quite a bit. Sometimes when I was there we would have lunch at Emily and Sam's house with his pack brothers. Like Jacob, most of them had found their soul mates too. Emily and Sam were perfect for each other, they had been married since before I was born; the way they looked at each other made me think of my mom and dad. Jared and Kim got married about five years ago.

Paul imprinted on Jake's sister Rachel, he wasn't too happy about it at first, but he got over it. They got married last year. And finally Quil and Claire, they reminded me so much of me and Jacob. The reason is that Quil imprinted on Claire when she was only 2 years old. Now she's 13, Quil has been there for her all her life, like Jacob has for me.

The difference is that Quil is still waiting for Claire; he had a few more years before they could have the same connection that the rest of us have. Good thing the wolves didn't age. Being in La Push was easy, Jake and I didn't have to hide the way we felt about each other here. We often walked along First Beach holding hands, watching the sunset, or sitting on an old drift wood tree just talking.

As I sat in Jake's lap with his arms encasing me, I gazed up at the sky. "Jake, next to the garage this place is perfect. Especially on a night like tonight, it's beautiful." It was one of those rare nights that there was no rain and the sky was clear. The stars shining brightly in the dark sky gave the beach a romantic atmosphere, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore was peaceful.

"You've probably brought a lot of girls here," I said jokingly. He snorted. "Only Bella." That peaked my interest. I knew that he and Mom were close back then, but I wondered what exactly their relationship entailed.

"Jake?" My voice got an octave higher as I called his name, in hopes that I was going to get a glimpse into his past.

"Hmm?" he responded.

"How close were you and my mom?" That was just one of the many questions I wanted to ask about their lives before I was born.

Trying to find out what their lives were like always seemed like an unsolved mystery case, because I always ended up with nothing. He didn't answer right away. He seemed to think about his response first. When he finally did answer, his statement was brief with no elaboration.

"Bella was my best friend." I could tell that he was hiding something because his mouth always formed into a hard line when he was telling half truths, and his voice would change to a slightly higher pitch.

To someone else these small things would have gone unnoticed, but I knew Jacob as well as I knew myself, and I could pick up on the differences in his voice better than any voice analyzing software could.

"Jake? Is that all? You sound sorta funny...like there's more to it than that."

Jake seemed composed when he answered this time. "I love your mother; she's like a sister to me. Well now she's going to be like a mother-in-law to me, wow, I bet she's going to freak when she realizes that." He laughed and kissed me.

I forgot whatever argument I had for him, any questions about the past were all forgotten when he kissed me. My eyes fluttered closed, and I savored the moment. I melted my body to his, concentrating only on his lips on mine and remembering to occasionally break away to catch my breath. We went back to the garage, Jake turned on an old radio, and we slow danced. My head was against his chest listening to the steady beat of his heart.

I didn't know what song was playing on the radio, because Jake's heart beat was all the music I needed. Even when the music stopped we swayed in small circles around the garage. The world seemed to disappear as we danced. No one else existed, just Jake and I. I was soon brought back down to reality as my cell phone vibrated.

"Probably Dad again," I groaned. But it wasn't, it was Aunt Alice. "Aunt Alice...What's wrong?"

"Nessie, you better get home soon!" she urged. "You know I can't see you and Jacob, but I can see your Dad...and he's deciding that you can't see Jacob anymore. I'm just looking out for you and Jake. I know you two are best friends, and Jake won't like it if he can't see you." Jacob was on alert, looking for any signs of trouble.

"Alice called? What's going on?" He knew that if Aunt Alice called this late something must be horribly wrong. "Calm down, it's serious but not that serious. Aunt Alice saw Dad making a decision to never let you see me again if we don't get home before curfew."

"Not that serious? Nessie, do you know how much you mean to me? That would be the same as me losing you forever." He caressed my cheek like he did the first night we kissed, but this time his hand trailed down my neck to my collar bone, and his lips followed the trail that his hand made. I could barely speak. For a moment my mind was full of incoherency. When his lips finally left my skin, I was able to form a complete sentence.

"Jake, we better go if you want to be able to kiss me like that again." Jake kissed me once more as we got into the car and made our way home.

Jake drove too fast trying to get me back home before my curfew. We made it with a minute to spare.

As we pulled into the familiar garage, I whispered, "Back to reality."

I hated this part; this was when we had to keep our secret. We had to pretend that we were just friends, like we'd always been.

Keeping secrets from my dad was anything but easy. I had to constantly think of other things to keep my mind off of Jacob, and the level of difficulty in that task was very high. He was all I ever thought about. And worst than that, at night I had to be away from him. We would spend as many hours as we could during the day together, preferably in La Push, where we could be together without all the secrets. I ran into the house, Jacob not far behind me. I smiled, a little bit smug that we made it home a minute before my curfew.

"Hi, Mom, Dad. I'm here."

I looked at the clock almost daring him to say I missed curfew.

"Young lady, you really should watch you're thoughts. Do you want to be grounded?" He raised an eyebrow, with a smirk on his face.

He looked as if he were searching for just one reason to keep me away from Jacob. What was with him these days? Jeez, why was he always so skeptical of Jake? Jake would never do anything to hurt me and Dad knew it. Why all this harshness towards him? Hadn't they been friends once? Well I guess I wouldn't really know since no one ever told me anything about the past. I wondered why that was such a secret. Had something really horrible happen between Dad and Jake? I'd have to ask...

"Young lady, your thoughts are going to get you into trouble," he spoke through his teeth. I must have hit a nerve with something I'd thought. What could it have been and what was with all the secrecy? "Renesmee, that's enough. Say good night to Jacob and go to your room."

"Um Dad, actually I was hoping I could go stay with Aunt Alice tonight?" I asked, hoping to get out of here and give my Dad time to cool off. He didn't look like he was going to agree, my thoughts really must have hit a nerve...

"Renesmee, I said go to your..."

"That's fine, honey, but ask Alice if it's ok first," Mom said looking at Dad questioningly. This whole thing was confusing, everyone was keeping a secret, Mom, Dad, even Jacob. I looked over at him and he seemed slightly uneasy. Since when was he uneasy in my parent's cottage? It was like a second home to him. What was it that they didn't want me to know?

"Renesmee, leave well enough alone. The past is the past. End of Story," Dad said with a note of finality, and I knew I'd better leave or I could say goodbye to Jacob forever.

"Fine, I'm going to see Aunt Alice. Come on, Jacob." I grabbed Jake by the hand so that he would follow me out the door.

Dad yelled after us, "Jacob, I better not catch you in that house tonight. When she says goodnight, you leave, and you will say goodnight to him within the next 30 minutes, Nessie. And I will notify Rose."

Wow, Dad had taken overprotective to another level. He had never acted this way before, and I didn't know what caused his actions. I looked at Jake, who hadn't said a word the whole time we were there.

"Wow, I wonder what's wrong with him tonight. We made curfew." "It could have been something, I thought." Jake smiled innocently.

"Jake! What were you thinking?"

"Well, I was thinking about a paint job for the Rabbit, but I looked at you and started having some very improper thoughts. That must have really ticked him off."

"Jake!" I hit him. Even though I knew it didn't hurt him, he still acted like it did.

"Well, it didn't help that you were thinking something that really set him off. What were you thinking about? It wasn't me was it? I thought you wanted to wait a while," Jacob said.

"No, Jake, it wasn't about you...well it sort of was. I was wondering why he didn't like you much. I mean I thought that before I was born you and Dad were friends." Jake chuckled.

"Your dad and I have never been friends. Allies, yes, friends, never. We've always had...well it didn't help that I imprinted on his daughter."

It sounded like he was editing his words again. "Jake, why is it that every time I want to know something about the past everyone always seems so guarded? I want to know everything about you, and Mom and Dad. Yet no one tells me. Is the past so bad that no one wants me to know about it? I mean..."

We were in the garage of the main house now. Jacob put his finger to my lips and then he started to kiss me. He knew all to well that I would forget what I was saying, forget the argument I just had with Dad, and sometimes even forget my name. We both were so wrapped up in the moment that we didn't hear Uncle Jasper's approach.

He cleared his throat. Instantly, Jacob and I froze. Our perfectly kept secret had been found out. Oh man, how much trouble would I be in now? I turned around to look at Uncle Jasper, and the happiness I felt a second ago instantly turned into fear.

Uncle Jasper sensed my fear and said, "Nessie, calm down." I could feel Uncle Jasper's powers taking effect, as calmness flowed over me in waves. "Uncle Jasper, pleeeaasse don't tell my dad, please," I begged. "Jake loves me..."

Uncle Jasper let out a growl, as he glared at Jacob. "And I love Jacob..." He didn't let me finish.

"Nessie, get in the house, Jacob, please leave. I'm being polite right now. I can't promise I'll be this pleasant in ten seconds."

I turned to Jake and gave him a quick hug, "Bye, Jake, I'll see you tomorrow...I hope."

Jake glared at Jasper once more, and then he kissed my forehead. "Bye, Nessie."

He ran into the forest and I didn't have to see him to know that he'd changed into his wolf form. He always ran patrols at night.

"Now, Nessie, do you want to explain to me what I just walked in on?" Instead of speaking I put my hand to his cheek and showed him. I showed him the first time I realized I was in love with Jake, our first kiss, and all the other times I've spent with Jake. I left out all the making out and other things that Uncles didn't need to see their nieces doing. I knew that more than anyone else, Uncle Jasper would understand.

He could feel the love I felt for Jake and know that I needed him more than anything else in the world, he would feel the fear I had of my dad finding out, and he could also feel the agony I felt for possibly never seeing Jake again. Uncle Jasper could feel just how deeply my love for Jacob ran, and he would have to accept it.

"Nessie, your secret's safe with me," he said quietly, as he hugged me and we walked into the house. As soon as we were inside, Aunt Rose came over to hug me. She wrinkled her nose.

"Nessie, you smell like dog. You've got to get some friends that smell better."

"Aunt Rose," I sighed. Then I saw Aunt Alice and I remembered the reason I came over in the first place.

"Aunt Alice!" I went over and hugged her, "Thank you so much for the heads up. I don't know what I'd do without you and Uncle Jasper."

Aunt Alice's beautiful face scrunched in confusion. "Jasper? What did he do? He didn't even know that I was going to call you."

She looked at Uncle Jasper and he couldn't hide things from her, when it came to Aunt Alice he always gave her what she wanted. But instead of letting him tell her, like I knew he would, I put my hand on her face and replayed for her what happened in the garage. Her mouth fell open and formed a tiny O.

"Oh, Nessie!" she gasped. "Edward..."

"Doesn't have to know about it," I interrupted. "Please, Aunt Alice. You called to warn me before. I know you know how much he means to me. If you didn't you wouldn't have called me. Please let this secret be mine, Jacob's, yours, and Uncle Jasper's. Please," I begged.

"Okay, Nessie. Okay. I won't tell him, or think about it in Edward's case. And it's a good thing I can't see you or Jacob, because he would know by now."

I sighed with relief. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have to ask one more favor though."

"What is it now? I'm already keeping secrets from Edward and you know when he finds out I knew he's going to bite my head off."

"Can I stay over here tonight? Dad and I sort of got into an argument, and my thoughts aren't even safe over there."

"Fine, but the dog stays outside. I don't need Edward finding out that I let him sleep over too." Aunt Alice smiled.

That night I slept in my dad's room. I sat with my head in my hands thinking about how everyone seemed to act weirdly when I asked about the past. What could that mean? Was there something that they were protecting me from? Would I ever find out? And if I did, would I like what I heard? Or would I wish I had never heard it?

"Nessie, is there something wrong?" Aunt Alice came over to comfort me.

"No, I'm fine. It's just that my parents and Jacob are keeping secrets from me. Do you know what they are hiding? They won't even discuss the day I was born. All I could get out of Jacob was that that was the day he imprinted." She seemed conflicted as she answered.

"Nessie, there are some things that are too complicated to talk about. And life before you was definitely complicated for Edward, Bella, and Jacob. Even the day of your birth was complicated for them...well until Jacob saw you, then everything was back to the way it should be."

I was confused. What was so complicated? I thought Mom and Jacob were friends. And what had Jacob said about him and Dad? They were never friends, but why? What prevented them from being friends? Wouldn't it make sense that Mom's best friend be Dad's friend too? And why would that change when Jacob saw me?

"I don't understand." I looked at her hoping that she would explain.

"Nessie, it would be best if you just left it alone. Obviously it's something your parents and Jacob don't want you to know about."

She patted the top of my head, "Now get some sleep." I knew I had to stop obsessing over the past because thinking of the past seemed to get me in as much trouble as thinking of Jacob would. So I decided not to think about it anymore tonight. I let sleep take over and my mind wander to thoughts of Jacob. I smiled and sighed in my sleep.

"My Jacob." I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not but I could have sworn I heard a wolf howl outside after I said it.


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