Okay... bear with me Faithful Reader. I had one of those edge-of-sleep revelations and the X-over fandom is not the one I was originally considering (Dead Zone). Pay close attention to Greg's speech about his family and you should know what the new X-over is...
-
7:15 THE FOLLOWING MORNING
Greg was only beginning to wake, but Nick had been up and quietly puttering around the apartment for almost an hour. He'd noted a few things that could be tightened, replaced or repaired and noted them on the pad he'd used for the shopping list, adding a reminder to ask someone at work to bring his tool kit from his place along with fresh clothes. He only partially acknowledged that he'd had to brace the notebook against the wall with his cast each time he wanted to write, or find a flat surface and use the cast to hold the paper still. The fact that he could barely read what he'd written with his healthy left hand was an irritant, but he'd find a way around it. He was raised to understand that what had to be done wouldn't go away because you'd been knocked back a step or two. Tasks were waiting and he wasn't about to let a minor injury to his arm keep him from completing each and every one.
Greg sat up just as Nick walked back into the living room. The older man sat beside him on the couch and brushed Greg's untidy hair out of his half-lidded eyes.
MORNING
"Mornin'. You sleep okay?"
YES.
"No bad dreams?" Nick asked. He knew the answer, but he was curious whether Greg would be willing to tell the truth and end up in the same disagreement they'd had the previous night.
A FEW. I CAN DEAL.
"You don't have to. The pills Denson prescribed are sittin' right in the bathroom medicine cabinet..."
NO.
"He said you should take it if you had trouble sleepin'..."
NO. Greg signed emphatically. I'M DONE WITH IT.
"I'm not sayin' take it every night. Not even every other night, but you need sleep to get back to a hundred percent..."
NO PILLS. DROP IT NICK.
"Okay, okay... consider it dropped. Cath called last night after you fell asleep. She should be here any minute to pick up the shoppin' list."
GOOD.
"One of the first things she asked was if you were eatin'. I teased her about tryin' to be your mom... an' she reminded me you haven't mentioned your folks through this whole thing. Do you want us to call anybody?"
Greg mimed sipping from a cup. "Damn. Why can't I remember to get your tea before I ask questions with complicated answers?" Nick said, rising quickly to his feet. Halfway to the kitchen, the doorbell rang and he detoured to answer it. "Cath. Hi. C'mon in."
"Thanks. How is he?"
"Pretty good. Some nightmares, but I think he'll get past that alright. Did you get to check his file?"
"Yeah, but you won't believe it."
"Believe what?"
"Let's see if he's willing to talk about it first. If he doesn't want this particular secret known..."
"Yeah, I get it. He needs tea before he can really talk, but you can sit with him. I'll be right there."
Nick, by now well versed in tea preparation, had a cup ready in just a few minutes. He quickly delivered it to Greg, who accepted it gratefully. Nick then sat in the recliner. Catherine waited until Greg had taken a few sips and was beginning to relax before she began to question him.
"Greg... I did something kind of... sneaky. If I was out of line, don't hesitate to tell me..."
"What?"
"You haven't mentioned your family at all since you started really recovering... so I asked Grissom to check your personnel file for family contact information."
Greg stiffened abruptly but didn't respond, so Catherine continued. "I haven't called anybody yet. I wanted to ask you before I took that step."
Greg swallowed, winced slightly and stared intently at the woman beside him.
"You... you know then."
"Yeah, I do. Do you want Nick to know? It can stay between you, me and Gil..."
"No... it's okay... I guess. You guys were bound to... find out sometime."
"Find out what?" Nick asked, concerned with how sad and anxious Greg had become.
"I'm adopted. The stories I've told... about my family are true. They just aren't... about my blood family."
"Hell... that's not a big deal, Greggo. Millions of people are adopted."
"I'm okay with... being adopted. It's why it happened... that I'm ashamed of."
"This isn't in the file, Greg." Catherine interjected. "You don't have to go any further..."
"I do. I want you guys to hear... to understand. I never met my father... and my birth mom was... kind of a flake. My folks told me... that they were friends of hers. She dropped me off... when I was a year old. She asked them to adopt me... said she'd be traveling... and she couldn't take care of me."
There was silence as Greg drank more tea to soothe the effects of his long speech and the other two absorbed what they'd just heard. Finally Nick spoke.
"So... you don't really have any blood relatives?"
"One cousin. He lives up in the... Northwest. Washington state. My mom only sent a couple letters... over the years... but one had his address. I was so happy to get that. We write and e-mail... he's a pretty cool guy. Close to my age too."
"Do you want us to get in touch with him?"
Greg pondered this for a while, gazing down while he finished his drink.
"Yeah. Please. I just don't think... I could tell him... what happened."
"It's okay. You don't have to. I'll handle it." Nick vowed.
"Don't scare him. Make sure he knows... I'm okay now."
"I will, I promise. Where's his info?"
"Right here... in my day-runner." He said, picking it up from the coffee table and handing it to Nick. Catherine suffered a pang of guilt when she recalled how thoroughly she'd been through that book, but she pushed it aside, swearing to herself that Greg would never learn of that additional violation.
"You have that shopping list handy, Nick?"
"Oh, yeah. Here."
"Okay. You guys take care of the letter, I'll go get this stuff. Be back in about an hour."
Greg smiled and hugged her.
"Thanks."
"No problem. I'll do whatever I can to help. You know that."
"I know. It makes things a lot better."
Returning Greg's bright smile, Catherine folded the list, slid it into her pocket and left, feeling more hopeful than she had in days.
-
Catherine returned with the groceries right on time. She and Greg put them away while Nick composed the e-mail that both men had decided would be a better option than paper.
A little while later, Greg returned to the living room with a plastic cup of applesauce and flopped onto the couch, his fatigue showing despite his best efforts. Catherine followed a minute or two after, perching on the edge of the coffee table.
"I think you guys should be set for a while. If you need anything just call."
Nick grinned sheepishly and handed her his house key.
"Would you ask Gris or Warrick to pick up some clothes for me? Oh, an' I need my tool kit. They both know where it is."
"I could get those for you..."
"Uh-uh. Sorry, but it's a guy thing."
"Guy thing? Please..." she snorted.
"Hey, I'm serious. I decide who gets to look in my underwear drawer. You're a real good friend... but you ain't at that level yet." Nick countered. Catherine rolled her eyes and smiled at him indulgently then rose to go.
"Fine, I'll ask. I need to go get some sleep, but I'll be checking in. If you need anything else, don't hesitate to call."
Nick walked her to the door, but as she was about to leave she paused, suddenly remembering what was nestled in her purse. Pulling it out, she turned back and held the CD out to Nick. "I can't believe I forgot about this. You explain it to him?"
"Yeah... yeah, absolutely. You listen to it?"
"More than once."
"What you told me Warrick said... was he right?"
"Just make sure you're close by when Greg hears it for the first time."
"It's that powerful?"
"Each song alone, no. But played back to back, combined with the knowledge of who picked each one... it's hard not to get the message."
Realizing how clearly his own choice would speak, Nick grimaced.
"I'm havin' second thoughts about this all of a sudden..."
"Relax, Nicky. Just let things play out the way they're going to. And if he does open the door, even a little... don't be afraid to accept what he's offering."
Nick stared at her in shock.
"How did... when did you..."
"I've known for a while."
"You... has anyone else said anything?"
"Not to me. That doesn't mean they haven't noticed, it just means they're discreet."
"But..."
"I'll call in a day or two... to see how you're both doing."
"Catherine..."
"You should have the clothes by tomorrow."
"Wait a minute..."
"Take care of yourself, okay? Rest that hand. Bye, Greg."
Greg waved and Catherine strolled nonchalantly back to her car. Nick thought about yelling after her, but knew he didn't want the neighborhood hearing what he felt like saying. Instead, he shut the door and walked back to sit beside Greg on the couch.
"Where'd that come from?" the younger man asked, watching Nick tap the CD case against his leg.
"That's gonna take some explainin'. You up to hearin' it?"
"Yeah. Go ahead."
"See, durin' the time you were in the hospital, some of us had this kinda... strange thing happen. At different times, each of us came across a song that made us think about you... or just spoke to how we felt about what happened. Me an' Sara... we convinced the rest of the team to give copies of their songs to Archie... an' he burned this for you." Nick told him, extending the case to Greg.
"You guys... wow." Greg murmured, turning the case over to read the names and titles. "Cath, Grissom... I can't believe you guys did this..."
"Archie threw one in too. Said he thought it made a nice finish to the whole thing."
" 'Just Remember'? I don't think I... know that one."
"I do. Trust me... he was right. Check out what Brass threw in the pot."
Greg read the title and looked back up, slightly shocked.
"Josh Groban? You've gotta be kidding..."
"Nope. Brass said you lift him up all the time... make him laugh when he really needs it."
"Whoa..."
"You wanna listen to it now?"
"Yeah... yeah, put it in." he whispered, passing the CD back so Nick could put it in the stereo. The older man complied, then returned to his spot on the couch. As the first song began to play, Greg was already swiping tears from his cheeks. Nick handed him tissues and rubbed his shoulder consolingly. He ached to do more, but he held himself in check, knowing Catherine was right. Greg would have to choose how far to open the door, or if it would ever be opened at all.
You just call out my name,
and you know wherever I am
I'll come runnin', oh yes I will,
To see you again...
For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love.
I'll be the witness in the silences when words are not enough.
With every breath I breathe, I will give thanks to God above.
For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love...
I feel just like I'm sinking And I claw for solid ground I'm pulled down by the undertow I never thought I could feel so low Oh darkness I feel like letting go If all of the strength and all of the courage Come and lift me from this place I know I could love you much better than this Full of grace ...
When the first notes of "Behind Blue Eyes" began to drift out of the speakers, Nick tensed and turned away. Greg listened intently for a few seconds, then sought out his friend's eyes, but the other man wouldn't look at him
No one knows what it's like To feel these feelings Like I do And I blame you
No one bites back as hard On their anger None of my pain and woe Can show through...
"Nick..."
"I didn't mean... it isn't like that..."
"Like what?"
"It's... I play like I'm a stud... like I've got all the confidence in the world, but in my head... I can't shake the idea that I'm too big a mess for anybody to take on. Now you know about me, what I went through, I'll understand if you..."
"Nick, stop. Before I was attacked... all it would've taken... was for you to ask. I was scared... so I left it up to you. If I'd known..."
"Hey, no... it's not your fault. Are you sayin'..."
"My feelings haven't changed... but other things have. We both need time... and patience."
"Patience... I can do patience. I'd be the last one to put pressure on you..."
"I know."
The last song on the CD started and Nick moved a tiny bit closer, knowing the impact the lyrics were likely to have. The need to reach out grew so strong it was physically painful, but he kept repeating the words time and patience over and over in his mind and the hurt retreated. In the end it was Greg who did the reaching, laying his head on Nick's shoulder, swabbing his face with the fresh tissue his friend provided. Before the song had ended, Nick was doing the same with a tissue of his own.
When it all goes crazy and the thrill is gone, the days get rainy and the nights get long When you get that feeling you were born to lose, starin' at your ceilin' thinkin' of your blues
When there's so much trouble that you want to cry, the world has crumbled and you don't know why When your hopes are fading and they can't be found, dreams have left you waiting, friends have let you down
Just remember I love you, and it'll be all right Just remember I love you, more than I can say Maybe then your blues will fade away
When you need a lover and you're down so low, you start to wonder but you never know When it feels like sorrow is your only friend, knowin' that tomorrow you'll feel this way again
When the blues come callin' at the break of dawn, the rain keeps fallin' but the rainbow's gone When you feel like cryin' but the tears won't come, when your dreams are dyin' when you're on the run
Just remember I love you, and it'll be alright
Just remember I love you, more than I can say
Just remember I love you, and it'll be alright,
it'll be alright,
it'll be alright,
and it'll be alright...
-
TBC...
