Chapter 3: Dancing Through Life
Willow made her way back to the library with a roll of paper towel and a bottle of disinfectant she snagged from the janitors closet. When she reached the library doors, she noticed Giles hunched over the computer and sipping a cup of his tea. In a moment of panic Willow burst through the library doors as loudly as she could manage, forcing Giles to look away from the computer and at Willow. At the same time a considerable amount of tea burst from Giles lips and onto the computer screen.
His reaction confirm what she didn't want to know.
"Hi Giles." Willow said slowly, "What are you doing here?"
"Willow… hi." Giles choked on his words as he put a distance between himself and the computer.
Willow's heart raced. She felt a desperate need to be anywhere but here.
"The keyboard was sticky," he said quickly to his defense, "a-and the computer turned on when I touched it."
"I-I can explain…"
Giles kept his eyes on his cup of tea and darted past Willow into his office. "There is no need to explain." His tone was higher pitched than he had intended it to be. She noticed he was quick to seem busy, shuffling books around in his office and flipping through pages.
Willow knew she had made an awkward situation and her urge to explain was overwhelming. "I had to work through my feelings a-and I thought writing would help."
Giles froze. He took a moment before walking back out of his office to look at Willow.
"You, um… you w-wrote that?"
Nervously, Willow bit her lip as she nodded her head.
"Oh."
Giles lifted his brows and his head tilted in a single nod. He seemed impressed.
"I-it was written well."
Quickly feeling that his comment was inappropriate, he touched his temple with his left hand and shook his head as if he was erasing the words he had said. Willow looked away and began cleaning the abused computer. The rubbery sound the screen made as she rubbed it seemed to add to the awkwardness.
"Maybe you should talk to Buffy about this." Giles offered, "I'm sure she will, um… be able to help o-or understand t-things."
Willow had thought about that but she just couldn't bering herself to tell Buffy. She was too ashamed and telling Buffy would have made this all too real. The chair skid as she slumped herself into it.
"No, I don't think she will." Willow practically whispered.
Giles watched Willow as she stared blankly at the computer screen. Confused by her statement, he took a step toward her and decided to be more direct. "What I mean is, Buffy's relationship with Angel has a lot of similarities to you and Oz. She can probably understand what you are going through with Oz better than anyone else."
"That's the problem," Willow said softly, lowering her gaze to the floor, "I wasn't with Oz."
Giles had taken another sip of tea at the wrong time and choked as he was about to swallow. Slowly Giles moved to sit on the table beside her.
"That doesn't sound like you Willow," Giles voice was full of worry, "Have you spoken to Oz about it?"
Willow shook her head, expecting Giles to berate her and follow up with some harsh judgements.
"Was it with Xander?"
After a moments hesitation, Willow gave a breathless "Yes."
Willow was surprised to hear no judgement in his tone. He continued to question her, "Do you love Xander."
"I have always loved Xander. I've waited so long for him to notice me and when he finally did… I never meant to hurt Oz. I've been thinking back at my whole relationship with Oz and I remember small things… like when I first tried to kiss Oz, he stopped me because he knew I was just trying to get back at Xander." Willow looked up at Giles and found comfort as his gaze held back any judgement he may have been feeling. His eyes were full of love and acceptance that she didn't deserve. She began to tear up, "Giles… Oz doesn't deserve to be used like a pawn in someones game. What I did to him… I need to fix it."
Giles leaned in and held her shoulder, "Willow, these huge mistakes we make are the moments that change us. For example, I didn't follow my destiny to become a Watcher until my foolishness led to people dying. I too have made awful mistakes that forced me to change, and I live with many regrets. These moments shape our lives and you need to make sure that it's for the better. You know you can not go back and change it, although that feeling can overwhelm you, it will do you know good to focus on it."
"I have to talk to Oz don't I?"
"I'd say that would be a good place to start."
"Thank you Giles… for not… looking at me any differently."
Giles let a soft smile grow on his lips, "You won't always be perfect, but you will always be Willow."
Oz was back at home sitting in his suit for the dance when a banging knock pounded against his door.
"Just a minute."
He needed to finish the paragraph he was reading before he could peel his eyes away to get to the door. Oz was right, Willow had sex on her mind which her new updated fanfic chapter hinted at. Although this excited Oz, he knew he needed to be careful about how he would approach the subject with Willow. Until now, Oz had not mentioned that he had discovered her fanfiction, but it felt wrong to not mention it anymore. The vivid details of her most recent update had an effect on him that he needed to share openly with her.
Oz closed his laptop and opened the door to find Willow, beautiful as ever, in his doorway wearing a red and black stripped dress with a small black belt around her waist.
"Limo's here." She smiled.
Infectious as ever, Oz smiled back. "You look amazing."
He leaned in to kiss her. It was much more passionate than he had intended but his head was still living in her story. Willow was first to pull away and he was afraid he had scared her. He reached for her hand, to calm her. "I'm sorry."
"Come on. The dance will have no music if you're late." She said urgently.
He followed her into the limo, a little dismayed to see Xander already there. Oz was hoping to have a moment alone with Willow to talk but he needed to regroup and come up with a new plan.
"Hey Xander."
"Hey." His tone was sour. His foot tapped aggressively against the floor.
Willow scooted in next to Oz and the limo was off to pick up their last attendee.
"I don't think I've ever seen anyone so mad in a limo before." Oz noted sarcastically.
"Xander and Cordelia broke up today." Willow said quickly, almost as if she was answering a trivia question.
Xander said nothing. He turned his head to look out the window.
Willow continued, "Buffy and Cordelia are in the other limo working out Homecoming Queen issues so we know that plan is in motion. Thankfully you know a guy at the limo rentals or else this would have been expensive."
"Yeah, no problem."
With Xander distracted, Oz thought he would take the opportunity to talk to Willow.
"Anyone want a soda?" He leaned over for the sodas and casually turned up the radio. Xander declined and Willow took a Mountain Dew. He pressed his lips against her ear as he clicked open his can of soda.
"So I read your fanfiction." He whispered carefully, "I really liked it. And before you say anything… I just want to be straightforward with you. When ever you are interested in exploring that part of our relationship, let me know, and if you are not ready I can wait. I just want you to know that you can talk to me. It's something we can talk about and figure out together."
Xander watched them and he felt jealous partner up with his rage. He was already upset that Willow showed up in a dress other than her beautiful black gown. Then he had to watch their passionate kiss from the limo. Plus she had earlier dropped the bomb that she would not talk to Oz about her feelings for Xander until after the dance. That meant he had to endure watching them together all night. Willow didn't like that Xander decided to break up with Cordelia the day of the dance so she was determined to do it her own way and wait until after.
Oz whispered into Willow's ear and Xander noticed Willow's eyes widen with terror. For a moment, Xander panicked too. But there was no way Oz could know anything about what had happened last night, so Xander took a deep breath.
"Can we please not rub your relationship in my face?"
Oz looked back at Xander and gave an understanding nod. "Sorry." He turned back to Willow, "We can talk about this later."
Seemingly unaware of Xander's outburst, she took a giant gulp.
The car made another stop and Faith jumped inside. Her sexy tight back dress flowed in behind her.
"Yes! This is bad ass! Do these limos make anyone else horny or is it just me?"
Everyone shifted uncomfortably and Willow covered her face with both of her hands. Faith only noticing Willow's reaction had decided to turn it down a notch, "Guess not. Hey where's Buffy?"
