A/N Sorry for the delay, I've been super busy trying to get through midterms!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, nada.
Chapter 3
The feeling of Tig's curly hair tickling her neck woke Dixie up. She curled up against his chest and squeezed her eyes shut willing the moment to last just a little bit longer. Her body felt sore from the previous night activities – which was saying something in her book. Usually Dixie could take what Tig gave her because of the activity she had at work. The night before had been raw and intense. Her shoulders held bite marks and scrapes from his rings.
The knowledge that something was going on with Tig and she didn't know what it was settled onto Dixie's brain. It was far too early to worry about shit but she couldn't get it out of her mind. Dixie rolled out of bed quietly and took a shower. Tig was still asleep when she went back into her room. He looked so peaceful as he slept, like he wasn't going through something at all. But his taste was still in her mouth and it reminded her that she had tasted blood in his mouth the night before.
Dixie fixed coffee and was careful not to wake him. As she sat on the back porch watching the chickens peck at their breakfast she thought about how she could tell Tig what she wanted to say. He was usually several steps ahead of her on things like this. When she wanted to know what they were, he had known. When she was worried that she had to make him choose, he had already chosen. But this was different. He was off his game already – Dixie could feel it.
And Jax had told her to take care of him. Dixie always took care of Tig but having Jax telling meant something heavier. Whatever it was she didn't want to know for the wrong reasons. She just wanted to support Tig, to be that shoulder he needed. He deserved an Old Lady who he could turn to. Dixie sure as hell wasn't innocent. If she went the other way and asked to not be told anything that wouldn't work at all. She was already in the life when she met him. Dixie wasn't some innocent woman he had bumped into at a bar.
Tig eventually woke up when she was refilling her cup. She heard him to into the shower and waited for him. She was cooking the sausage when he snuck up behind her and caged her waist with his arms.
"Morning, doll." He drawled in her ear.
"Good morning." She replied leaning back onto his chest. "Last night was good."
"Yea?" Dixie could hear the smirk in Tig's voice.
"Yea." She replied finishing the sausage and putting the plates together.
They ate in relative silence and Dixie studied her man a little bit closer. He had a tiredness around his eyes that hadn't been there before the trip. It hurt her to see him like this, it was a hard pill to swallow to see him tired. Dixie had always known Tig to be strong. The only time she had seen him vulnerable was when she comforted him about his daughter. And even then he didn't have that…tired resignation in his features.
"Baby," Dixie started but she decided mince words and went with. "What's wrong?"
Tig looked at her and paused his coffee mid-air. He set it down slowly and leaned back in his chair. He looked out the window and she could see the argument in his steel blue eyes. He looked back at her and shook his head.
"Naw, nothing's wrong baby."
"Bullshit." She replied quickly. "Something's wrong, I can feel it. What's bothering you, baby?"
Dixie leaned forward and grabbed his hand and squeezed. Her heart felt like it was in her throat but she refused to let it show. This was about Tig and not about her dumbass fears.
"Shit went down on the run." He answered vaguely. Tig paused for a thick moment and then he pulled her onto his lap. Dixie quickly wrapped her arms around him and stroked his curly head.
"What's weighing you down?" She enquired carefully.
"Shit went down…." He shook his head as his eyes drifted away with heaviness. "Arizona has had some shit go down and Jax had to go down and set shit straight..kind of hard to do since we can't officially get into their business. We're pulling out of drugs and focusing on other ventures and Arizona doesn't like that direction. The President tried to pull them out of it but a couple of the members got…I killed a member defending Jax."
His words cut into her heart. Not because he had killed but because of the trauma it had placed inside of him. Tig loved the Club. He loved his brothers and having to get in between his President and another member...it would be like tearing him in two.
"Oh baby." Dixie breathed, she hugged him tight and kissed his softly. "I'm so sorry."
Tig closed his eyes for a bit and then opened them looking conflicted. "I put my knife through his cut…I've done shit before in the Club but this wasn't something I was prepared for. Shit like that…you gotta prepare for and get your head ready."
And just like that the window of his tired self closed and he was back to being his normal self. Dixie stayed silent for a moment before she continued with what she needed to communicate.
"Tig, you know you can talk to me about shit, right?" She broached carefully.
"Yea, I know baby." He replied casually nodding.
Dixie placed her hand over his cut. "Baby, I mean…I want in. I want you to be able to share shit with me. I want you to let me in."
Tig was silent for a moment and then he looked at her. His eyes were honest and he nodded. " 'kay." He replied simply. Dixie pressed her lips against his firmly and squeezed his neck.
"I love you, baby."
"You too." Tig replied.
And that was that. Dixie and Tig returned to normal and Dixie was an Old Lady that got full disclosure. Such two different paths that could have been taken that defined a woman in SAMCRO so clearly. Dixie didn't know it but it would define her later. Full disclosure was a heavy burden but with it came a certain strength. But that wasn't why she wanted it. She wanted it because of Tig and to be his shoulder and his comfort. He was her protection and her love, Dixie just wanted to be closer to him.
