A/N: Chapter three! Let's get this show on the road, shall we? (Is there awkwardness here? We will see, won't we? XD)

Disclaimer: Naruto ain't mine.

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The next morning, Temari woke up in her own bed at home. She sat up, expecting to see her purple-painted room, with her old childhood fans hung on the wall. Instead, she realized she was in a completely different house.

If I'm not in Suna, then why is it so hot? she asked herself. Then she remembered that she was in Konoha, in some random person's house, and the air conditioning was broken.

"Well, a girl can dream," she sighed, pulling herself out of bed. After making sure that the door was closed, Temari stripped down to her birthday suit, grabbed a towel, and headed for the shower.

Five minutes later, Shikamaru woke from his dreams to the sound of someone calling him. "What the--" he said, not recognizing the voice. Then he remembered that there was some random girl, from Suna no less, living in his house. And to make matters worse, the air conditioning was broken. And in my dream I was all cooled off, he thought sorrowfully.

"Well, a guy can dream," he sighed, pulling himself out of bed. He realized that he was drenched in sweat from the overwhelming heat, and changed into a fresh pair of shorts and a clean shirt, Temari calling him all the while. Finally he trudged down the stairs to the guest room, scowling and muttering curses under his breath. He opened the door, and there stood Temari, buck naked except for one thick towel and a frown.

"Uh…what did you want?" he asked warily, looking anywhere and everywhere but at her.

"The shower's not working," she replied sharply, not enjoying this any more than he was.

"You used it yesterday," Shikamaru accused.

Temari shifted her weight to her hip. "Well, it isn't working today," she said, biting down on the words and glaring at him.

"Okay, I'll do it," he said, going past her to the bathroom. "Troublesome female, always causing trouble…can't rest properly with her in my house…"

"I heard that!" Temari yelled. Shikamaru ignored her and walked over to the shower, checking the faucet.

"It looks fine to me," he yelled.

"It won't turn on," Temari said, suddenly standing behind him. He jumped.

"Did you try turning the handle?" he said, as if Temari were mentally challenged.

"Of course I did, stupid."

"You probably just didn't turn it hard enough," Shikamaru commented dismissively.

"Are you saying I'm weak?"

"What?"

"I could've turned it harder, but it would've broke, thank you very much," Temari snapped. "Sexist bastard."

"I heard that."

She ignored him and began to tap her fingers on her thigh. "Well? Are you gonna fix it or not?"

"Don't get your panties in a twist," he said unthinkingly. Then he remembered that she wasn't wearing any. He felt his ears growing hot. "What I meant to say was, uh…"

"I get it," Temari interrupted him. She put her hands on her hips. "You think you're uncomfortable? I'm the one with no clothes on here. So if you would just kindly turn on the damn shower, I'd like for you to leave A.S.A.P."

Shikamaru grumbled and turned his attention to the shower handle. He grabbed it and twisted it to the right. Nothing. He tried again, twisting it farther this time. He heard Temari chuckle meanly at his unsuccess. Getting irritated, he scowled and twisted it as hard as he could.

The handle promptly popped off, and water began to spray from the hole into the tub.

"Oh, for the love of…" he trailed off, slapping his palm to his forehead.

"Hey, this is no time for self-pity!" Temari reminded him, gesturing to the water quickly filling the tub.

Shikamaru clenched his jaw. This girl, this…this…evil female beast! Would she never stop causing him trouble? He reached into the shower and tried pulling up the little lever that switched the water flow from tub to shower.

Of course, that also broke off in his hand, and now both the tub faucet and the showerhead were shooting water. The tub began to overflow, and water splashed onto the waxed tile floor.

"Well, fuck a duck," Temari commented. "How does one person ruin a whole shower system?"

"Screw you!" Shikamaru shouted over the noise of the water flow, fed up with her. "None of this would have ever happened if you hadn't come here, you stupid jinx!"

"Excuse me?!" Temari yelled, stamping over to him. "Your mom volunteered to keep me here! I don't even want to be in this damn hick town anyway! I wanted to go to the beach! But my asshole brother sends me here, to this stupid village, where people can't even fix a fucking shower!"

The word "shower" brought them back to the present situation. By now the tub was pouring onto the floor, which had a good four inches of water on it. Shikamaru waded through the water to the shower, trying in vain to stuff a towel into the hole.

He looked over at Temari, who was watching him with her arms crossed and her face cloudy. "What are you waiting for?" he yelled, struggling to be heard above the spraying faucets. "Get over here and help me!"

She reluctantly went over, grabbing another extra towel and pushing it into the other faucet hole. The water was quickly rising. Shikamaru pushed hard, straining to stop the spray. Suddenly he slipped in the water and fell, hitting Temari on the way down like dominoes. They landed in the water with Shikamaru lying on top of Temari, his head in an awkward spot between her breasts. When he realized where he was, his eyes widened and he immediately jumped up only to slip and fall again, landing on her legs. Temari pushed him roughly in an effort to rise herself, but it was nearly impossible. Finally Shikamaru got into a semi-standing position, and Temari pulled at his shirt to try and stand up herself. They stood for a grand total of 1.5 seconds, then Temari fell forward, pushing Shikamaru down, and landed in a straddling position even more awkward than the other one.

And of course, the parents picked that exact moment to open the door.

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Shikamaru's dad just couldn't stop laughing.

"But…I still don't understand!" he exclaimed, clutching his stomach and gasping for air. "How on earth did you break the whole shower system? And flood the bathroom?" He collapsed into laughter again.

Shikamaru's mother wasn't nearly as amused. She crossed her arms and glared coldly at her son. "It's only seven in the morning, and already you're trying to take advantage of this poor girl?!" she asked, gesturing to Temari (now fully clothed).

"What?!" Shikamaru cried, outraged at the injustice. "You're crazy! All I wanted to do was sleep, but this she-devil wakes me up, forces me to do manual labor, and then ends up getting me in trouble because she was on top of me when you two came in, okay?!"

"You watch your mouth, young man!" his mother yelled. "This girl has been nothing if not helpful and polite, so don't you dare pin this whole fiasco on her! Why would she initiate anything between you two, anyway? She's known you barely two days!"

Shikamaru's jaw dropped. He looked around in disbelief, his eyes finally landing on Temari, who was strangely silent.

"Temari, you know the truth! Tell them!" he demanded. "Tell them!"

She blinked innocently, asking, "Tell them what?"

"Arrgh!" Shikamaru yelled. "I can never win!" He stomped off to his room, slamming the door behind him with a bang.

His mother gasped angrily in shock. She started off for his room, but her husband grabbed her arm and gently pulled her back. "Leave the boy alone, hon," he said. "At least we got a good story out of it." She looked angry for a few more seconds, then blew out a puff of air, blowing a few strands of sweat-soaked hair off of her forehead.

"He'd better be glad you stick up for him," she warned, "or I would've killed that child by now!" She turned to Temari, suddenly cheery. "Oh, and you can use Shikamaru's bathroom for the time being," she said. "Until we can get yours repaired."

"Thanks," Temari said, suddenly tired. Wrestling with a shower really took it out of you. Not to mention that her abs were killing her from trying not to laugh at Shikamaru.

"Would you like something to eat?" Mom asked. "I can whip up something if you--"

"No, I'm fine, thanks," Temari assured her.

"Are you sure? It's no trouble…"

"Let her alone," Shikamaru's dad said. He placed his hand on Temari's shoulder and smiled kindly. "You look tired. Get some rest."

Startled by his mellowness after all that had happened, Temari blinked and smiled back. "I will." She headed for her room to take a catnap.

--

Meanwhile, Shikamaru was spread out on his bed, arms and legs lying akimbo, a black look over his face.

Only two days, and already our house is breaking down and I'm being blamed for everything, he thought darkly. I'm used to being an only child. I don't like having another teen sharing my space. Troublesome woman…why did she have to end up staying here? There are plenty of homes. She could've stayed with Hinata, her house is huge…but her family is so refined and polite and Temari definitely isn't refined or polite. She could have stayed with Kakashi and Naruto…that is, if she wanted to be raped in her sleep. Well, she could stay with Ino.

"That's it!" Shikamaru suddenly sat up, a "eureka" expression on his face. He almost laughed and cried at the same time. It's genius! They're both bossy blondes, so they should get along fine! If I can just get them to be good friends, I could drop hints to Ino that she should invite Temari to stay with her. And all my problems would be solved! He chuckled. Of course, I'd still see her now and then, but that I can deal with. Maybe we could even be civil, just as long as we aren't living together. Shikamaru sighed in amazement at his own brilliance. "I really am a genius," he said, laughing joyfully.

He ran (walked quickly) downstairs wearing a giant smile. His parents glanced at him, then did a double take.

"What's wrong with you?" his mother said suspiciously.

Shikamaru hugged her and sang, "Nothing's wrong with me!"

She scrutinized his face, then said in all seriousness, "Shikamaru, are you on drugs?"

He laughed and shook his head. "I'm just happier than I've been in a long time, Mom. A long time." He looked around. "Where's Temari?"

"She's taking a nap. Why?" Mom looked dubious. "Is that…a problem?" she probed.

"No, no problem," he replied. "I'll wait for her to wake up." He almost skipped back up the stairs, humming some catchy commercial ditty.

His mother looked at her husband. He shrugged his shoulders, at a loss for the reason for the sudden change in their son.

"Maybe he had an epiphany," Dad suggested, chuckling.

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A/N: Sorry for the shorter chapter, but if I didn't end it right here then I'd be stuck writing for another three hours. Anyway, isn't our Shika smart? He thinks he's found the solution to all his problems. But has he really?

(I have no idea whether he has or not. Maybe he really has. J If you read my other stuff, you know by now that I definitely do not plan out plots. It's dangerous, but I have more fun that way because I can just drop in random brain waste.)

How'd you guys like the shower scene? Sexy, no? XDDDD Lawlz. I couldn't help myself.

Hugs and kisses, my dears! XOXOXO