TheBeautifulNerd: Thanks a lot, I'm going to try to update quickly, but I'm going on holiday soon so no updates for two weeks Thanks for all the help you've given me so far, you've been great.

It started off an ordinary day – a good day, albeit rather nippy. Lily awoke early, slipped into her running gear and went for a jog. The wind was frigid and blew with an icy wrath, but in an effort to blot out the discomfort her uneasy dreams had left her with, Lily lengthened her usual route. Unfortunately, this resulted in her running late for work. When she came back, cheeks glowing and nose stinging from the biting breeze, she had a five-minute-shower, changed and was out of the house in a blur. No breakfast. No coffee, either, as the runs were just as good at waking her up and burned calories.

She and Iain had a fleeting chat before heading into the hospital's stuffy interior, but it was enough to warm her from the inside like a hot drink. She didn't know what it was about Iain, but he made her glow inside.

She was in such a chipper mood she even spared Alicia a smile as her young mentee asked for advice on her portfolio.

But then her mobile rang.

Holding up a manicured hand to silence the young doctor, Lily flipped the phone to her ear without glancing at the caller ID. Her heart shrivelled and the knot in her chest almost snapped, it pulled so tight, when she heard her mother's panicked tones crackling down the line.

'Oh, Lìlì!'

'Chénmò? Mother, what is it?'

Her mother spoke in rapid Chinese, taking gasping breaths. 'It's your father. He – he died…this morning.' Her mother let out a hoarse cry that reverberated down the phone, the pain echoing in Lily's ear. She reeled. Her father. Her father had died this morning.

'What?' She switched to Chinese so Alicia, looking at her in innocent bewilderment, couldn't understand. 'Nǐ quèdìng?' Are you sure?

'There was no warning. He just…went to sleep and – and didn't wake up again.'

Lily clenched her fists, tensing every muscle in her chest to keep her heart from shattering into shards, like it was made of glass. At least he died peacefully, in his sleep, she reminded herself. He wasn't in pain.

'Oh, Chénmò,' Lily said, her voice cracking. She fought to keep her expression neutral, aware of Alicia's curious gaze.

'I know, Lìlì.'

Somehow her mother's acceptance soothed Lily, and she found some semblance of calm. But a splinter of guilt lodged in her throat. She should be comforting her mother, not the other way round. Why couldn't she have visited him, when her mother and her sister had asked? When her father was slipping away, she'd been deleting their messages and ignoring their calls. She was already responsible for one death, and her birdlike shoulders could scarcely support the weight of her remorse. Now she felt responsible for another.

'Wǒ bù zhīdào gāi shuō xiē shénme.' I don't know what to say. She didn't know how to make this better.

'Kǎlāis coming over to see me, now. Will - will you come? Please, Lìlì.' Her mother's voice was desperate, pleading. Lily closed her eyes momentarily, imagining her mother's tortured, begging expression, as her fingers gripped the phone so hard her knuckles went white as the blood leeched from them.

Of course Cara was going to comfort her mother. Cara was the good child. She'd been the rock in their family, been a pillar in the crumbling foundation of Lily's life during her teen years. But Lily herself couldn't go. She couldn't relive the guilt and grief again. She didn't want to see the pain she felt reflected on the faces of those around her.

Not again.

She want to work, to white out the grief. To stay in the hospital meant to be surrounded by people who didn't know about her father. She wouldn't have to think about him. It would be easier to work.

She couldn't explain this to her mother.

'Bù... Māmā, I have work. You know that.' She struggled to get the words out, but it was a believable excuse. Her mother knew how dedicated she was to her job. But the lie tasted sour in her mouth.

'Can't you…miss work? Just today?' Her mother's accusatory tones sent fresh tears springing to Lily's eyes, and she bit the inside of her cheek in an effort to control herself. Her tongue probed the ragged flesh and she tasted salt and iron. Turning away from Alicia's intrusive expression, she strode towards the staff toilets, desperate for some privacy.

'Bù, māmā, wǒ bùnéng.' No, mum. I can't. She stabbed the 'end call' button abruptly, stopping short. Alicia, still shadowing her, nearly stepped on her foot.

'Are you alright?' she asked tentatively.

'Yes.' Lily's expression was strangely wooden, Alicia thought nervously. 'Fine.'

'You're – you're sure?'

Lily threw her a vicious look, and Alicia flinched back in shock. Her face was twisted with venom, but her eyes were swimming with tears, and a pulse throbbed in her temple. Her jaw was set, her teeth clenched as she beat down the hysteria rising inside. No no no no NO

Lily's head pounded, her stomach ached, her muscles throbbed as she shook. The guilt pieced the back of her throat and she let out a small, strangled sound. She was going to fall to pieces, here, in front of Alicia's stupid, concerned face…

Lily whipped into the toilets, shutting the door with finality behind her, and let the mask crack.

I'm sorry the chapter was so short and rushed. I'm going on holiday for two weeks and decided to write a quick chapter to resolve the cliffhanger, as I couldn't leave you hanging for so long. If you want to translate the Chinese, it doesn't contain any spoilers this time, I just think it's more realistic if Lily talks to her family in her first language. Please review, I love reading your thoughts xx