Life as a House:
A Wayward Meeting
A/N: This chapter is totally angsty, which isn't really my style. However, I couldn't imagine House and Cameron getting together without some angst! This chapter begins their relationship.
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Unnecessary disclaimer: None of the characters appearing in the TV show "House, M. D." belong to me.
Abstract: Dr. House catches Cameron on the roof, in what he considers "his" place. This wayward meeting leads to changes in how they perceive each other.
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House moved slowly up the stairs, looking more miserable than usual. He pushed open the door to exit onto the roof. He looked out—it was sunset. And then he saw her, or rather, her silhouette.
In a grumpy voice, House said, "What the hell are you doing here?"
She didn't react. "I wanted to be alone. The roof seemed like a good place until now."
"Of course it's a good place, it was my idea first! Now go on and find your own," House said, limping up next to her.
She turned away from him, not allowing him to see her face. He stared after her. "Are you crying?" he asked.
"Why would you care?" she answered with resentment in her voice, moving further from him.
"Sure I care," he said, staring at her from where he stood.
"No." She turned to face him, her face streaked with tears. "You don't care, you just want to figure me out, like a puzzle. Like one of your patients!" she cried angrily. "You're just an ass who toys with people's feeling and lives to get what you want." She stormed off towards the door, turning back for a moment for one last jab. "You're not going to get to play your game this time, House. I'm not a puzzle."
"Allison, wait," House called after her, not moving from his post. His eyes were difficult to read.
She stopped, just before reaching the door. "What did you call me?" she asked, turning back. Her face showed disbelief. "You never call me that."
"Got your attention, didn't it?" House responded. "Listen, Cameron, I'm sorry." "What am I doing?" he thought. He never apologized.
"Now you even apologize to get what you want? You just want me to stop showing emotion," she replied, moving close to him until her tear stained face was only inches from his. "It makes you uncomfortable."
"Just because you're afraid of your own emotions doesn't mean that others should always be forced to hide theirs," Allison continued. "You can have the roof," she said backing away. "You won't have to worry about catching me up here again."
She ran inside, leaving House standing thoughtfully alone.
-
He entered the hospital the next morning, dreading seeing Cameron. "She was just over-emotional," he reassured himself. However, the doubt still lingered in the back of his mind that she might have been a bit right.
The day wore on with no reminders of the night before. House avoided the ER like the plague.
Cameron was embarrassed by her outburst. She just wanted to forget it and get on with her life. House had caught her in a weak moment out on the roof. She had applied careful makeup to cover the redness around her eyes from the tears. She just wanted this day to be over.
-
House was in Cuddy's office at the end of the day. "Always in trouble for something," he thought.
"You've heard about the hospital fundraiser gala, I hope?" Cuddy said, still busying herself. "Next Saturday night."
"I believe I threw away the invitation." House responded.
"You have to be there to represent the hospital," Cuddy countered. "You have no choice about the matter."
"Do you really want ME representing the hospital?" House asked maddeningly.
"You're going," Cuddy said forcefully.
"Fine," he said grumpily, heading out of the room.
"Oh," Cuddy remembered as he was almost out the door. "And bring a date."
House turned around. "Dr. Cuddy," he said, turning on the charm. "Wouldn't you like to be my date?"
She smiled sweetly at him before pointedly saying, "No," her smile dropping instantly, replaced with annoyance.
-
"Cuddy's making me go to the stupid fundraiser thing next week," House told his best friend, still in a foul mood.
"We all have to go, House." Wilson shrugged.
"She's making me take a date," House admitted with a sigh and an eye roll.
Wilson laughed. "So who are you going to ask?"
"That's the problem," House said.
"Ask Cuddy?" he smirked.
"She said no already."
Wilson laughed again. "Why doesn't that surprise me? What about Cameron? She wouldn't say no."
"She hates me," House stated.
"Cameron doesn't hate anyone," Wilson said with an eye roll. He paused. "Wait…what did you do?" he accused.
"Nothing!" House defended. "I haven't treated her any differently."
Wilson snorted, amused. "Well, that's your problem."
House sighed. "She was on the roof the other night when I went up there. You know, the place that no one goes because it's mine?" He paused a bit before continuing. "I told her to find somewhere else, and she got angry. Apparently she had been…" House waved a hand and shook his head a bit. "…crying or something."
"Did you make her cry?" Wilson asked accusingly.
"She was already crying! I didn't do anything!" House defensively responded. "I asked her if she was crying, and then she got all angry at me. Called me an ass."
"You are an ass," Wilson said with a smile.
"And she said all kinds of other things about me too," House said, remembering. "She said I didn't care, only wanted to solve her like a puzzle, and that I toy with other peoples lives."
"Accurate, but unexpected coming from Cameron," Wilson mused.
"And when I tried to apologize," House continued, "She yelled at me some more! Then she stormed off."
"Wait, wait…" Wilson said. "You apologized? You have a crush on Cameron or something?"
"I had to shut her up somehow!" House defended.
"You do have a crush on Cameron!" Wilson grinned. "Ask her to the gala."
"I told you, she hates me," House responded. "Oh, and I do not have a crush on her!"
"Whatever you say," Wilson said with a grin.
House shook his head and left Wilson alone in his office.
-
House paged Cameron to his office the next day.
"What's up?" she asked coolly.
"Cameron, are you going to the fundraising gala?" House asked her, spinning his cane.
She looked confused and a bit suspicious. "I haven't decided yet. Why?"
"Cuddy told me I had to have a date," House told her, not meeting her eyes.
"I think it's best if we don't go that route," Cameron said. She moved to leave.
"Cameron, stop."
She stopped and turned to look at him with an eyebrow raised.
"I… I don't know anyone else," House stated, embarrassed.
Cameron sighed, softening a bit. "Fine. Just this one time. After this I hope you'll have the decency to leave me alone." Her voice became hard and angry as she turned to go.
-
House went up to Cameron's apartment and rang the bell while simultaneously tugging on his tie. Standing there with the corsage, he felt a bit of deja vu. The last time he picked her up this way, it didn't go so well. "It was my own fault, of course," he thought.
When Cameron finally answered the door, House was nearly at a loss for words. "You clean up well, kid," he finally said, handing her the corsage.
"Likewise," she said. "I'm just about ready. Just give me a couple minutes." Cameron left the room.
House couldn't get his mind off her. He moved to view her through the doorway. He ran his eyes over her floor-length red gown that hugged her toned body. "Snap out of it, House," he thought to himself. "She's at least 15 years younger than you."
When he came out of his reverie, Cameron was staring at him. "Something wrong?" she asked with raised eyebrows.
"No, nothing," he responded. "Now lets go see what kind of torture Cuddy has devised for me." House smiled a bit and led Cameron out.
-
The two of them nervously entered a crowded room.
House was terribly uncomfortable with these sorts of things. Schmoozing potential hospital benefactors wasn't really his strong suit.
Cameron, on the other hand, was simply uncomfortable about being there with House. "How long before he starts acting like an ass?" she wondered.
Chase and Foreman walked up to them with their dates. Foreman spoke first. "House, Cam, I want you to meet Fiona. You might have seen her around. She's a nurse in the maternity ward. Fiona, this is Dr. House and Dr. Cameron."
"Nice to meet you, Fiona," Allison responded, glad for the distraction.
"And this is Julie. She and I have been friends since high school," Chase added.
"What, Chase didn't bring a real date?" House mocked.
Chase looked hurt. "We're going to go get some champagne," Chase said, looking for a reason to escape.
Foreman gave House a look. Cameron looked upset.
House distractedly ignored their silent protest. "Oh no," he groaned, "Cuddy is on her way over."
"Dr. House?" she said with a fake smile, clearly put on for the man following her. "I'd like you to come meet some people."
House followed her dejectedly.
Cameron now turned to speak with Foreman and his date, Fiona.
"You guys here together? Never thought I'd see that," Foreman smirked.
"It's not a date," she replied, exasperated. "I'm doing him a favor. He had no one to go with."
"Chase is jealous," he replied with a smile, glancing over towards the blonde doctor, who was throwing occasional glances back their way as well.
"What, Chase is jealous because I didn't come as his pity date?" Cameron rolled her eyes, but it seemed forced.
"He's never gotten over you," Foreman said with an amused smile.
"Tell me about it," Cameron said quietly.
Fiona, tired of the discussion, pulled Foreman away. "We need to go, but it was nice to meet you!"
"You too," Cameron replied with a contrived smile.
She sighed, now facing the room alone. "How can I be lonely with so many people around?" she wondered.
She grabbed a glass of champagne and took a seat at a nearby table. She was almost happy to see House heading back in her direction.
"Lucky you, you avoided Cuddy's schmoozing rounds," he said as he sat beside her.
"That's the downside to being the head of your own department that needs funding," she said, not really sympathetic. She stared into her champagne glass.
"Something wrong?" House asked her.
"Why would I tell you?" Cameron said, trying to mask the resentment rising in her voice. "Any time I let my guard down even the slightest bit, you do your best to hurt me somehow."
She looked around, hoping no one was noticing their argument.
House was taken aback. "Cameron, I'm not trying to hurt you. It's not personal."
"Maybe it should be," she responded.
Dinner conversation was strained between them. Luckily Dr. Wilson and his current wife sat with them, and Cameron hoped that they hadn't noticed the tension between the two.
The ride home was deafeningly silent.
-
Cameron awoke the next day near noon when the doorbell rang. "How long did I sleep?" she wondered. She had cried herself to sleep after House dropped her off.
She threw on a robe and headed towards the door. Upon opening it, she found a deliveryman with a floral arrangement. "I have a delivery for Allison Cameron," he stated.
"That's me," she responded, and took the flowers with a puzzled look. "Um, thank you," she said before closing the door.
She went to her dining table and set down the flowers to search for a card. When she found it, it had only two words. "I'm sorry."
Allison was conflicted. Was this some cheap effort to placate her into no longer hating him? Or was he really that sorry? "House has never been this considerate," she thought. She spent the rest of her Sunday with a strange feeling in her stomach that she just couldn't shake.
-
It had not disappeared by Monday morning when she arrived at the hospital.
On the surface she was all business, of course, but it was hard not to see that she was distracted. She made excuses to her co-workers. Her cat was sick (she didn't have a cat), she just heard from an old friend, whatever she could think of. She wasn't sure if they believed her, but it made them stop asking.
She waited until the evening to enter his office.
"Cameron," he greeted her, not looking up from his reading.
"House… what did you mean by those flowers?" she asked cautiously.
"Didn't you read the card?" he responded.
"Are you really sorry or are you trying to placate me?" she asked, agitated.
"Allison…" She froze as he called her by her first name a second time.
"I really am sorry." He looked up, and his eyes showed no sign of deceit.
"Why do you do that?" she asked. "You called me Allison. That's the second time."
"It made you listen the first time," he said matter-of-factly. He sighed and bit the bullet. "Wilson was right, the bastard. I have feelings for you."
Cameron took a step back.
House rolled his eyes. "I'm not going for an HIV sample this time."
"Can't blame me for not trusting you, House," Cameron said with a shrug. "Look, I had feelings for you once, and you ruined that for yourself. That time is long gone now." She looked sorrowful but resolute.
She stood. "I'm sorry, I just can't open myself up to you a second time."
House fell back into his chair, closed his eyes, and tried to imagine himself far away. He should have known better than to admit he had feelings.
-
Cameron breathed heavily as she ran. She needed a good run to clear her head. Of course she wasn't over House. Seeing him every day made that impossible for her. But she knew this was for the best. "I can't give him the chance to hurt me this way again," she thought to herself.
She slowed and came to a stop, checking her pulse. The run hadn't done much to relax her.
She headed home to shower. As the water ran over her she continued to think about House, finally allowing herself to feel things she hadn't in such a long time.
"He really is handsome," she thought. "Even if he is so much older. And he's so intelligent too… and those eyes…" Cameron suddenly opened her eyes. "Snap out of it, girl," she thought to herself. "Sure you could have him... for a while. Do you want that kind of pain? You can't trust him not to hurt you again." She sighed and finished rinsing her hair.
She stepped out into her bedroom. Often she cherished her solitude, but tonight it was overbearing.
-
Days passed and neither showed a sign of what had transpired between them. Cameron often wondered what House was thinking. House thought he knew Cameron's position on the matter.
He was perhaps more depressed than ever. The one person he had ever met who didn't hate anyone hated him. He had blown it with the kindest person on earth.
Wilson couldn't help but notice his friend's depression. "House, you need to stop moping over Cameron."
"I'm not moping over Cameron," House grumbled.
"You're not a very good liar."
House just looked at him, worn out and beaten down. The pain was evident in his eyes.
Wilson sighed. "You have to prove to her that you can be a real person, have feelings and open up to someone."
"I don't have feelings." House shook his head.
"Look, House, you've ruined your chances at love and happiness many times before. Stacy gave you a second chance, and you sent her away. Don't screw this one up," Wilson said, fully serious.
"I ruined my chance with her years ago," House responded dejectedly, now speaking about Cameron.
Wilson shook his head. "She's never gotten over you."
House looked skeptical. "She claims otherwise."
"Do I have to spell it out for you?" Wilson said incredulously. "She's scared. Doesn't want to open up and get hurt. You've already hurt her badly."
"God, Wilson, you're such a woman," House replied sarcastically. "What do you suggest I do, then?"
"Tell her how you feel. Be considerate of her. If she doesn't cave yet, don't let go. But if you do hurt her… it's over." Wilson looked serious.
"Um…thanks," House replied, getting up. With a twinkle in his eye, he added, "Mrs. Wilson."
Wilson rolled his eyes. "Get out of here, you old ass!"
-
House showed up at Cameron's door unannounced. He tried not to show his fear as he pushed the doorbell. "I must be crazy," he thought. "What am I getting myself into?" Before he could answer himself, the door opened just a crack. Cameron had the chain on.
"Go away," she said, mostly hidden by the door.
"No," he responded simply. "I'll wait all night if I have to."
Cameron sighed, exasperatedly and slammed the door shut.
House raised an eyebrow at that, but before he could sit down to wait, the door was opening again. She wasn't exactly welcoming him in, but it was a start. He entered the room.
She gestured towards a chair, seating herself on the adjacent sofa. "What do you want?" she asked. "I thought I asked you to leave me alone."
House could hear pain in her voice. This wasn't the usual polished Cameron. "I know," he said, his voice softer than she had heard before. "But I can't."
"Do you insist on making things difficult for me?" Cameron said, agitated.
"Allison, I have feelings for you." He held up a hand, motioning for her not to speak. "I can't help it. You're intelligent and beautiful, and the kindest person I've ever met. Now I know I'm just a grumpy old ass. But I love you, Allison Cameron, and I can't go on without telling you so."
He paused. "I can't bear the thought of you hating me, Cameron. I know you're not likely to ever love me. I ruined my chances at that. But please… give me the chance to show you that I can be a good person too."
Cameron's mouth hung open in shock. She was at a loss for words. She didn't know how to feel or what to say.
House was resisting running away. He couldn't believe he had just allowed himself to say all those things! It was pretty damn embarrassing. However, he remembered what Wilson said and stood his ground.
"I… don't know what to say," she finally responded.
She continued after a moment. "House… it's not that I don't want this. I just don't know if I can do it," she said with tears in her eyes.
"Just give me a chance," House asked of her. He smiled slightly, repeating words he said to her once before. "I won't crush you."
"One date," she said.
"Alright," House let himself out, leaving Cameron to ponder his words.
-
House rang the bell at Cameron's apartment with a corsage in hand. He remembered the last couple times he had done this, suddenly nervous.
Cameron opened the door, and looking at her, he felt better. He knew he wouldn't ruin it this time.
-
