Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji and all the characters within this story are taken from the manga/anime the artist and publishers own the rights.

Warning: this contains mature content 18+ and although not in this chapter will become a yaoi in the coming chapters, you have been warned!

Authors note: thank you to all those who have been patient enough to wait for this chapter although it's not much of an excuse I have had exams and things ~ or mainly I had massive writers block and didn't know what to write then I had a break down half way through cause I didn't know what to write…but anyway enjoy and I will try to upload more regularly from now on.

Sebastian stayed there for a long while wallowing in his own self-pity trying to make some sense of what he would do next. Thoughts flashed through his mind: would Ciel hate him? Would Ciel love him? Should Ciel love or hate him? He had no answer and he quickly dispelled such questions in favour of the more important one: what now? He had no idea how Ciel was going to react to him from now on and he had no idea how he should react around Ciel. What was the protocol for such situations? There probably wasn't one since this was such an abnormal situation.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Sebastian was aware of the approaching footsteps but he was too absorbed within himself to realise what that meant until it was too late (even for his lightning speed!). May Rinn appeared round the corner carrying a stack of precariously piled plates. Sebastian's head snapped up as the plates all toppled to the ground, he stared at the shocked May Rinn and as her expression changed he was well aware that all his feelings were spread across his face like a book turned to the key page. It was too late now. There was nothing he could do about it was too late for him but at least he could protect his master from such outrageous rumours the door to his room was shut and all was quite inside there was nothing to indicate what had just happened between the two. So he stood calmly, his kimono rustling as he did so and looked upon May Rinn trying to judge the appropriate course of action.

He could eliminate her-but that was the last thing he wanted to do, people would ask questions and her gun skills were unmatched, he could make her forget- but that took time and a lot of effort-neither of which he had right now, or, he could bribe her, but how? He already knew and he desperately didn't want to resort to that, if he gave her that now she would always find ways to get it from him again especially since she was so obviously in love with him.

Sebastian sighed he didn't want to do any off that so instead he put the most beaten and worn out face he could muster on - which wasn't that had since he felt those exact feelings weighing his muscles down as he walked past May Rinn saying:

"Please don't" and left it at that hoping she would interpret it the right way and wouldn't blab to anyone, she wasn't exactly the best secret keeper but Sebastian thought she would keep this one, in her mind this was a sexy meeting between himself and her and he was sure she would want to keep it a secret. ~~~~~~~

Sebastian returned a few minutes late r carting a cloth intending to clean up only to discover that May Rinn had done it for him. He smile to himself glad that he hasn't killed her, despite being a klutz she was still a kind person at heart. Sebastian returned to his room and practically fell onto the bed as he once again began to contemplate his next move. He had only new. Laying there for about 15 minutes when a mock at the door disturbed his train of thought- not that it was going anywhere anyway! He stood and wearily opened the door. May Rinn stood outside and without waiting for an invitation she quickly pushed her way past Sebastian and shut the door behind her, and stood looking directly at Sebastian before saying: "My god Sebastian you look a wreck!"

The comment was so unexpected that Sebastian almost burst out laughing almost, if not for the other things weighing on his mind! She turned inviting herself to look in his closet and threw some fresh clothes at him. He gave her a questioning look to which she replied "I can't talk to you like this you look too se.." She trailed off her face turning an embarrassed shade of crimson "anyway get changed!" Sebastian removed his shirt to replace it with the new one which resulted in May Rinn's face turning an even darker shade of red and she turned around so her back was facing Sebastian.

"Ermm...May Rinn would you mind passing me some underwear?!"

"W...whaa...WHAAT!?"

She fumbled with the draw her clumsy traits returning due to her complete embarrassment and eventually she managed to throw a pair of pants over her shoulder at Sebastian.

"Thank you" Sebastian commented, he was glad she had come although he would never admit it her embarrassed demeanour put him at ease. Argh when had he become so attached to these puny humans, disgusting! He would have to end this relationship soon but right now he really wanted May Rinn to stay.

He pulled on the pants and trousers and sat down on the small bed, "you can turn around now" he stated simply. She turned and sat on the bed next to him removing her glasses and laying them on the table as she looked at Sebastian as if trying to figure him out. "You won't be able to." He said

"To what?" Came the puzzled reply although in all honesty she knew what he was referring to and knew he was right

"To figure out my feelings" We'll at least she had been correct although she still wanted to know

"Well then why don't you try telling me?" She insisted but hearing Sebastian sigh she rapidly stood grabbing her glasses and turning red once more said "I'm sorry I've overstayed my welcome I'll leave, good night Sebastian San." She rushed to the door but was stopped by a hand upon hers as she tried to turn the handle

"Stay" he said and released her allowing her room to leave if she so wished.

May Rinn turned slowly and looked at Sebastian confused. She brought her hand up to his face and let it travel from his cheek bone down to his lower chest where she left it. "Sit down Sebastian" she said calmly her motherly instincts overcoming her usual embarrassed clumsiness. Sebastian did as he was told and May Rinn sat behind him, she began to massage the tense muscles that had built up in sensations back. "Sebastian talk."

"I do not wish to share that which I am thinking"

"Fine then, I shall talk if you shall not, but I will say what I think and therefore you must not become mad, I have warned you!" She was quite for a minute before she continued: "you know Sebastian I always wondered where you came from, I may not have known you or the young master before I was hired here but I get the feeling the two of you are not -normal- you are different Sebastian, what you just did for starters makes you that way, but your looks, your perfection, your loyalty, your devotion, they are all far too strong for any normal human to possess. And then there is your love, or is it simple animalistic cravings? Aiming those desires at the young master who not only has just turned 16, is also a man... who are you Sebastian...no. What are you?!"

"I am simply one hell of a butler!" Sebastian answered the rhetorical question in a half-hearted manor as if he no longer truly believed it but the words had been burnt into his memory, he could not forget them even if he wanted to. "Ironic isn't it? How someone who is supposed to serve the lord unconditionally can be so... Demonic! I should never have done that I should have contained myself at least till I got here; I should have found a woman! But I would not be satisfied, not unless it was my master, but now, now it can only get worse, for now I want him, his mouth, how skin, his body, his soul!" Of course May Rinn could not I understand the complete implications of this statement but she knew what Sebastian wanted, needed even. And it was not her!

She had stopped massaging him and Sebastian missed the hands already, he could relax into them and he felt he could talk, just talk when May Rinn sat behind him he didn't have to see her face, she was just an ear, a … friend!?

"Sebastian ... do you...do you love him?" She asked hesitantly, she knew she was overstepping her boundaries but she had to know maybe she could help him, probably not but she could at least try to understand. The silence stretched on and for a moment May Rinn thought she had stepped on a mine and Sebastian was going to kick her out or in the best case simply ignore her.

"Yes, I think I do." Sebastian stated, finally coming to terms with the fact, yes he loved his master but why he did not know, it could just as much been the soul he loved as the being or maybe it was the simple exhilaration of loving something that was forbidden, or maybe it was all off the above, Sebastian could not tell and he had no wish to know for as a demon such a thing was disgusting and unforgivable, as a human it was wrong and against the lows of nature, and as a butler, well Sebastian didn't even want to go there!

Authors note: hope you enjoyed it…was it worth the wait ... actually don't answer that lol sorry this chapter wasn't very interesting but I have to give it a bit of plot cant jut have a constant stream of smut lol…or can we?! Yer anyway while I was writing this I had a mental breakdown and started writing my thought down instead … don't ask why! I thought I would be amusing to post it as well so here you go…I was typing fast so forgive the randomness! I thought I would leave it how I typed it lol~hope it amuses you!

I don't know where im going wiv this! Omg! Help! Y did I introduce may rin?! And into HIS room! I don't wanna make this into a shoujo! IT'S A YAOI! Okokok clam…opps calm! Ok…

Well may rin? Hmm…. SHE ABSERLUTLY CAN NOT HV SEX WIV HIM EEVVEEERRR!so where to take this? Innocent ciel, fraustrated Sebastian wat to do wiv em? A confused demon hahaa lolling! Well…they will do IT again?! I think lol…or Sebastian could take ciels soul…ohh I wanna do one where ciel see Sebastian as a demon yaya love it omg I don't even wanna no what other ppl hv done for that..transvestite Sebastian? Ohh god noo! Wtf am I doing? Ohh waiting for ipod..or is there actually more on my ipod, is this all I hv? hmm idk! ~ help1! God this was ment to help me come up wiv ideas and now im just rambling to myself lol and no ones on skype…check ipod…dead still! Errr hurry up! Okok plot umm….oshe kisses Sebastian nononononnnonononnnoonono! That is NOOOOOTT gonna happen not in this ff thank you very much! THIS IS NOT A SHOUGO! I could hv Sebastian kick her out..or kill her…no Sebastian is hurting and confused and…omg my ipod is done yaya charge now lets c wat I got on this then….