Author's Note:

I hope people stick by me with this. Now that I've got this story mapped out I'm so ready to have it typed out! I recently started working full time again so there goes most of my free time, so I'm trying to dedicated a few minutes or hours a night to typing away at this. Hopefully it will entertain you as it has me. I have a few ideas playing out how I want this story to go, but right now we're sticking to the game's main plot line and canon. That being said, it's probably going to end as the game does at the end of Trespasser, but there will be several OC plot lines and additions to the plot!

Now, on with the story!

-teresa


Heaven. Or whatever the equivalent is here. The Fade? The Black City...before it was black? Golden City, right? I suppose that depends on your belief system here. I'm not quite sure about it and the lore of Thedas isn't exactly on the forefront of my mind these days, not to mention it's not like I have the wiki I can just pull up on my smart phone.

Damn...I haven't realized how much I miss my phone. Although I hardly used it for communication, any time I didn't know something I had access to the answer in my hands. I could research it and find out what the answer was in under a minute. I think I took it for granted. If I want to know something here that I can't just ask someone I have to find a book that may not even exist.

Wait...do they have technology in Thedas? Could I invent electricity? Or like hydro power? Do the whole Benjamin Franklin and his kite with a key on the string? Or would electricity not work here, due to all the magic in the air? That's how JKR described Hogwarts...Fuck, I swear I got dropped into the wrong world because I am like a walking Harry Potter wiki. The Dragon Age Fandom is a new one to me, I only just started playing all the games like 3 or 4 years ago and I wasn't interested enough to read into the lore of most of the games, but I did like Inquisition enough and with the whole Solas asshat Dread Wolf thing going on that I decided to start actually looking up information and even fan theories about the old gods and stuff. I mean, if some part of Mythal is still alive why can't the other gods have a link somewhere on Thedas...Like the theory that Sera is Andruil (or at least I think that's the god...dess? it's one of them I am not a hundred percent on the details).

But enough of the shit going on in my head, that's the most I have even thought about anything remotely important lately. You see, for the first time since waking up with no memory of how I got here, I am happy. That's not to say there isn't the usual anxiety from being in what is (or at least was to me) a video game world, but the past week and a half has been amazing. The slaves are happy (as usual when there is a new born baby around) and Theirry Trevelyan is recruiting so many new people they're just appearing more and more every day. Word is spreading about the breach and the Inquisition and I know it'll only grow bigger.

Jansen is a wonderfully amazingly handsome distraction. I haven't spent a night without him and I can honestly say I haven't been this happy in a long time. I mean, I still get the nightmares...but I wake up and Jansen is holding me and I forget them after a few minutes. He kisses away my fears and I feel like some sappy lovesick schoolgirl who is at the peak of her romantic comedy. Jansen is ever such a pleaser, always wanting to help and never asking for anything in return. He gives and I can't help but to feel guilty about it, like he's giving me everything while I'm holding back all my secrets...but then he kisses me and hands me a drink and I forget the world isn't my own and Corypheus is out there plotting.

So far, things have been going quite well. I have been avoiding Cullen...well, I haven't gone out of my way to spend time with him or any other major inner circle characters. I know Varric has been asking about me in the tavern (I've been drinking with the elves every night instead too-that way I won't have need for Cullen's escort service) and I will probably have to face them soon but right now I am in my own little world. I felt so at home with the elves. Most of the old cranky men have even stopped calling me 'that Shem bitch' and now refer to me as Fabulist Shem or 'the only Shem I'd share my ale with' and I found I liked their approval. It worked.

Hard work for long hours, and then drinking with fellow hard workers I was able to stop thinking about the doom in this world. At least, I was for a while. In the middle of the night, while Jansen was off hunting or something late with the others, I lay in my tent trying and failing to fall asleep. I long for the distraction of Jansen and his soft lips. He was so eager to please and such a kind heart that I tried so hard to forget the future I knew would happen soon. A week more goes by and Jansen is nowhere along with the rest of the hunters. I knew they were probably searching farther for food, as supplies was running thin with more and more people coming every day. Still, I longed for the comfort of his touch and fought sleep (well, the nightmares that took over said sleep) and it took hours but finally I was able to fall into a fitful sleep full of dreams about dark nothingness eyeballs in pitch black, and Sera running around yelling for breeches...


"Wake up, love, I've got something to show you!" I heard an eager voice shake me awake and I rolled over, begging for the sleep that was leaving me to return. I seriously just fell asleep, what did I do to deserve it leaving me? I squealed as a rush of cold air hit my skin, my blanket ripped from my grasp. "ASS!" I grumbled, yawning as I stretched out my limbs, no use fighting Jansen this soon after waking. He was alert and wide awake, the smug bastard. He grinned, his blue eyes shinning...or where they green? I couldn't tell at the moment. Sometimes they were so shockingly blue, others a mesmerizing green. Or perhaps I am loosing my mind. That seemed to be the likely scenario these days. He squinted his eyes, and never more did he look exactly like Chad Micheal Murray. Ladies, you cannot blame me for my attraction to him now, can you? He definitely had the smolder going on, and damn could he smolder. Right up there with Ian Somerhalder and David Boreanaz vampire smoldering...swooning fangirl here...

"Alright, if you don't want to be surprised I guess you can just stay in bed..." He trailed off teasingly, his hand scratching his scruff and I wanted to kiss him but I had an act to finish. He couldn't know how badly he was affecting me, it wasn't fair! I huffed as I sat up, crossing my chest in mock anger. "Just let me get dressed or else the whole camp will see me half naked and I'm sure you wouldn't want that." I smirked as his face darkened at the thought.

Jansen shook his head, a territorial look ghosting across his mouth and sharp chin. He quickly pulled me in his arms, holding me tight against him. I squealed again, not expecting his sudden reaction. He didn't say anything, just held me as close as he could. I didn't say anything, nothing felt right. Never has anyone been so possessive over me, not even a little bit. No one I dated cared whether or not others saw me indecent or otherwise. They would show me off instead, a way of saying look what fish I caught... Jansen wanted to protect me from others, he told me time and time again as much...I guess a part of me doubted him even though I had no reason to. I pulled away slowly, fighting the anxiety rising up in my stomach. It's a rare thing that I let myself get attached to a person like this, nor do I ever let them get this attached to me. It was hard for me to think straight so I turned away and started to get dressed.

"Wear some pants," Jansen said softly and I nodded, reaching for the leather tights he held out to me.

Did I deserve someone so caring? Someone who put my own needs before his? What was I supposed to do in turn? I haven't actually seen a functional relationship. Everyone in my family were either divorced or should be divorced. Coming from a history of shot gun weddings I guess that's not surprising, but still...What did you do in a relationship to make it work? What is making it work? How do I know if we're doing the right things? What am I supposed to do in a situation like this? In any situation? When it all came down to it I didn't know a damn thing, and I was comfortable just going with the flow except for moments like this. They terrified me. Jansen and I didn't talk feelings or whatever...we haven't claimed each other in that way or whatever it is people did in this world. We were having fun...right?

When it came to the sex thing I knew or was totally down to try anything at least once just to know for sure, maybe a second time with the right person...but relationships...they are a whole nother story. I pushed these thoughts from my head as I wrapped the bra band around my chest, not even asking for the help Jansen knew I needed with the contraption, he was already at my back tying the strings. "I hate these things." My voice was a soft whisper and Jansen gave a breathy laugh that sent shivers down my spine as his warm breath hit the nape of my neck. It's was like two bra things in one.

There was this leather strappy thing that held my breast up, and underneath that it was this thing cloth that was corset like tied in the back to cover the nips. I mean, it had good support but there were so many ties and loops that, more often than not, I didn't wear one or the other unless Jansen was there to help me dress. Of course, once I told him that he was there every time I needed him. Though I doubt he did this solely out of the kindness of his heart.

After I finally managed to strap on my boots, I stood waiting for Jansen to lead the way to his surprise. He grinned as he handed me a warm cloak. "You're gonna love this, I have Darla covering your laundry and John is covering me in the woods, meaning we have the whole day to ourselves." He grabbed a bow and arrow from his tent on the way to where we were going. His excitement was contagious and I was surprised he convinced Darla to let me go free, but this was Jansen, everyone loved the smooth talking elf. He was kind and sincere and a hard worker. I often wanted to ask him about his past, before he became entangled with the Inquisition, but as he never asked about mine I let the desire to know slide. We know the basics about each other, and I knew his sister and new nephew...perhaps that is enough. After all, there's no way I could even begin to explain the differences in how we grew up. He probably grew up in slavery and worked like a dog all his life while I went to mandatory school and there were such things as child labor laws and a government that regulated shit like that. Not to mention the technological boom and how we went from no phones to hand held computers in like a hundred years...

No, it was definitely better this way. "Almost there," Jansen was leading me somewhere in the forest, I was currently trying to keep my eyes closed but the struggle of walking blind was tempting me to take a peak. If it weren't the absolute excitement in Jansen's eyes earlier when he whisked me away or the childlike pull of my hand in his, I would've already opened my eyes. It was rarely, if ever, that I let someone surprise me. I hate surprises, as most of the time they're no good and people suck at lying in the first place. I allowed Jansen to pull me for another ten or so minutes, ignoring the wind slapping my face or the fact that I forgot to braid my hair back so that too was slapping my wind chapped cheeks. But I held back my complaints, as Jansen's promised it would be worth it. Finally Jansen slowed his pace and came to a stop.

He pulled me down and we were sitting, on a blanket I assumed as it was soft but not cold like snow, and he said I could open my eyes. At first I was startled, the sight was pretty, yeah, but this was it? A frozen waterfall wasn't uncommon around Haven so I tried not to look confused or disappointed. Sensing my confusing, Jansen laughed and directed my attention to the ground in front of us. "Look, love, just there." He pointed about a yard or so in front of us, at the base of a large tree. I couldn't see it at first but when my eyes adjusted to the bright sun reflecting snow I finally saw it. Peaking above the foot or so of snow was a strong green stem. Attached to the stem was a flower with six large petals, each bellowing out in search of sunlight. In the middle of the flower were the long stamen (or whatever the pollen making shit was) and a deep orange-y crimson color painting the otherwise white petals in an ombre like effect. It was a lily, at least in my world that's what it was called, and I smiled at the sight. It was rare to see flowers sprouting through the snow, everyone around Haven said so and the apothecary was having a hard enough time keeping tonics and potions on hand that if it weren't for Theirry and his resource scouts they would've dried up by now. I turned towards Jansen, smiling. His wonder and excitement made the experience all the better. "It's lovely." I took his hand, placing a warm kiss on it. His smile grew to match my own.

"I knew you'd love it. I saw them the other day and thought of you, the orange red color in the center reminded me of the way the sun looks when it hits your red hair." Here he brought up a hand and pulled one of my wild curls lose and twirled in between his fingers, a smile spread across his perfect lips. My smile mirrored his. "And when you were talking to the apothecary the other day about flowers in the area you seemed so sad there were no...lilies?" He asked for confirmation on the word and I could tell the word sounded foreign on his tongue. I nodded my confirmation that this was the correct word and pronunciation.

"Well I don't know what a lily is but this is the first time I've ever seen Andraste's Grace with six petals, usually she blooms four or five but I haven't seen six. I thought it a sign from the maker that the worst of the winter is over and that better days are upon us and...well, and you...It hasn't been seen before you came here so I took it as a sign that you're..." He blushed, suddenly stumbling over his words and not at all like the usual confidence he had about him.

Of course, this only made him all the more endearing as I leaned toward him to kiss his lips, cutting off his stumbling words. I didn't want them, nor did I need them. It would ruin things, ruin me, to hear him confess anymore any further. I didn't deserve this, I knew, I don't deserve him...I know that. But he couldn't see nor understand why, and I didn't have the strength of heart to explain to him why he was foolish for allowing me a place in his life and in his heart. He was too much, I had to blink back tears as he kissed me back, pulling me down next to him on the blanket. A familiar warmth rose in my stomach as my hands sought purchase in his hair. I needed his distracting kisses to fight the fear and anxiety boiling in my stomach and heart. I needed his hands on my skin to push away the guilt rising in my conscious. I needed to use him and the added guilt just made me kiss him harder, eager for any reason to get lost in the warmth of his touch or the softness of his skin. He knew I needed him, not any of the reasons why just the blatantly obvious reason that I needed him and he was always happy to oblige. I pushed all guilt out of my head. I wouldn't think about it today, I'll worry about it tomorrow. His mouth moved down my throat and set a fire trail of kisses leading to my collarbone. I loved this. I was free from concern, from care, all that mattered at the moment was this...us. Jansen was the best distraction from my thoughts and guilt.

His hands moved under my coat and I eagerly bucked my hips towards his, seeking friction to dull the ache rising between my legs. Jansen gave and he gave so much. He gave me kisses, he gave me solace...He was too nice and I didn't think of how I was using him or his body. I wouldn't. I didn't want to. I can't. A moan escaped my lips as he pulled back and I didn't even realize I was softly whining at the lack of contact until he let out a throaty chuckle at my reaction. "Easy, Demeter, I don't think I'll be able to resist you if you keep making noises like that." Ever the gentleman, he tried to make sure we weren't caught in the act or doing something inappropriate around others. I scoffed. At the moment, and more often than not, I couldn't care less at whomever or whatever happened upon us while we were...canoodling (for want of a better word without being too graphic).

He tried to argue but I cut him off. "Please, Jansen, like you want to resist me," my hand grazed the budge between his legs and he softly closed his eyes while biting his bottom lips. I loved making him react. It was rare that he let me affect him like this that I relished the opportunity and savored the moment of his physical reaction to me. "I mean honestly, why," He wouldn't let me finish as his lips captured my bottom lip and I forgot whatever it was I was about to argue. He was in control again. I don't know what twenty four (or up to twenty seven I was iffy on his exact age as was he) year old male had this much control over his libido but go fucking figure I found the one that somehow managed to orchestrate such restraint over his desires. His kiss wasn't like before, so giving and passionate. No, this kiss was giving but closed. A stop what you're doing, love kind of kiss. Jansen was a master of these kinds of kisses. Even in control of the situation, as he was now, he still gave me most of what I wanted. Bless his heart.

I knew that we wouldn't be having any sexy time by the frozen waterfall. The rational part of me was happy about this, it was freezing outside after all. But other parts of me...well, they were none too please at the desperate need of pleasure release throbbing between my legs. Jansen chuckled again once he caught my pouting. "Don't be like that, love, it's freezing out here and if we get caught up I won't have time to show you what else I had planned for today." Jansen had his brilliant smile across his charming face and I conceded defeat, willing my ache to dissipate.

"Fine, what is it?" I pretended to be exasperated by his decision but he knew I was only teasing him.

His grin grew as he put his bow and a quiver in my hands. "Your hunting lesson. You said you always wanted to learn archery when you were younger, something about in-dee-yans and your heritage?" He looked confident that he chose the right words but knew nothing of what they meant and I pulled him into a tight hug, once more blinking back tears at his thoughtfulness. I didn't tell him about being part (very small part) Native American (or Indian as people still refer to them) or how I always wanted to learn archery because of this. It was one night in the tavern, after several ales, that Varric asked me about my parents and I was drunk enough to spill the beans about my (obscenely large) family and then somehow race became a topic but in my drunk mind I didn't realize that Varric didn't mean my world type of races, but his world. Anyway, long story short is this conversation happened like a month ago in the tavern. I hadn't even realized Jansen listened to me let alone committed anything I said to memory.

"How do you remember this stuff?" I was baffled and touched by his actions. He laughed, squeezing my hand as he pulled me up. "Don't be ridiculous, love, you're a loud drunk who cannot keep a secret to save her or anyone else life." His voice was light and teasing and I gave an empty laugh at his words. Right, I was a lousy secret keeper. Damn I wish I had an ale or liquor or even elfroot or anything to settle the nerves that decided to rise in my stomach at his sentence. I smiled, pushing back the anxiety stirring as Jansen showed me proper bow grip and a good beginner's stance to shooting.

Right, here goes nothing. I took a deep breath, pulling the bow string taught like he showed me. Inhale. I had my hand by my lip, the end of the arrow mere millimeters from the corner of my mouth. I closed one eye so I could see far away and keep my aim true. (I happen to be far sighted in one eye and near sighted in the other. Don't ask me how that happens, I am just fucked up I guess. "And aim for that whole in the tree just there, slightly above the opening dip, you see what I am talking about?" He was hovering behind me and I nodded, suddenly wanting to huddle away from him.

I blinked and shook my head slightly, clearing my thoughts. No, this is Jansen. He's sweet and perfection and everything more than I deserve. So why did another voice in my brain tell me I knew everything he was trying to teach me? My body wasn't even straining to hold the bow, but I have grown strong in these past few months. I exhaled, closed my eyes, and released the bow and let the arrow fly towards its target. I didn't even bother to look and see if I had some dumb luck enough to land my target, it was my first time shooting so I would be lucky if the arrow went more than ten feet in front of me.


Author's Note Pt. II:

Such a little filler chapter but it played out better than I planned and I wanted to stop here because the next chapter Theirry will come back and commence the closing of the breach! That will probably last a chapter, maybe two with the chapter following that full of premature celebration. That's when things get super exciting with Corypheus first appearance and...yknow the destruction of Haven? I'm following canon pretty closely as far as that goes, with the obvious OC plot and character that isn't NOT canon, yknow? Things will most likely stick to the game, but they might branch off around Skyhold... I haven't decided as it depends on who I let Demeter fall in love with...

Hope you enjoyed enough to leave a review with your thoughts!

-Teresa