Third installment of drunken monkey antics. ;) I happened to win Least Coherent and Favorite Entry, so yay! Though, not sure how proud I should be about being least coherent. But, looking back on this one, I was VERY wasted - 6 pints of pale ale will do that to a person with no food in their stomach. The prompts were actually April Showers and the Easter Bunny. As you can see, I took it to a whole other level. Usual disclaimer: JKR would be appalled at how I treat her characters!
Title: Here comces SNapey Cootontail
Author: rivertempest
I am of legal drinking age in my region: in my region: yes, but I gotta go pee now
Pairing(s)/Characters: Snape/Harry... sorta?
Challenge: Easterer Bunndy and Papal SHowers
Summary: (can be very brief/basic) Snapes shouls'ave never have agreed to do as Harry asdekd.
Rating/Warnings: It started out PGT, but got R at the end?
Word count:353 - word says
Author's Notes: (if any) THis is all Lit's fault. THat, and I bought some KRispy KREME donuts today and HOP was on the box cover. Donuts are gone now, but that damn bunny is not.
Pleasesd, Severus?
Snape looked athte package Harry was holding. 'NO."
"But you promised the skids."
Snape wavesxd his tumnnbler full of awhiskey at Haary. "I'm pised Potter. If you want me to bet the goddamnn Easter fucker, it'll ahaven to be when sI'm sober."
HaARY PUSHED the stuff at Snape. "No, now. The egg hutn is now."
"I can't believe I Sagreed to do this stupid shit." SNpae muttered, slippionga into the pants.
"Dong' forget the head,' harry reminded.
Snape grabbed his bits and tuggesd. "Heresr mthe head, you ass."
"AND TAHE BNASKET."
Harry aleft before SNaopse could throw the fbottle of booze at him.
Daddy? Why does the easter bunny have blacka hair sticking from this neck?" ALbusre asked.
Harry groswaned. "HOrmans. Albus. HORmans. HORMONES. He aite super carrots."
"Dasdddy? Wahy I sthe Easterbunny throwing eggs at everyhoen?"
Harry shook his head. "Bea cuswe he's getting odl and can't ahide all the egs anymore."
"daddy? Why is the aEaster Bunny peein on mum's flowers?"
"WHAT?"
Harry ran over and grabbed Severus, causing athe man in the eSter bunny costume to turen and starting pissing on harry.
"What are you doing?"
Snape continued to pee ag agoldend shower on Potter. "You ewanted me to be hiere, Potter. Just remember theat."
"Daddy? Why is thae Easter bunny calling you potter and peeing on you?"
"Because your father likes being a spissed on, lilte boy!" the Snape bunny yelled.
"mommy! Daddy likes being pissed on byt ehEaster bunny!"
"EWWWW, thi s isn't chocolate," cried lily when she opened a plastic egg.
"Stop!" Harry shouted, which earned him a mouthful of piss.
(why he was on his knewws infront of the snappey bunny, we'll never know, but Clitteraryspell wanted a golden shower, and I'm all bout pleasinga that woman.) Not that way. The ESWother way.
"NO! You wanted me here, Potter, I'll statay here until i:"m done!"
"Carotta VERTO!" Ginny shouterd, pointing her wands at Snape's dick.
Suddently, SNope was holding a HUGE ass carrot at his cock.
And because Snape has a carrot for a dick now, Potter munches on it with Snapes ranch sauce.
