Chapter 3

The halls of the orphanage were surprisingly deserted, the sound of the two boy's boot-clad feet echoed through the halls, making Matt's nervousness increase. He had never felt this small before. The only instance that even began to brush this feeling was when he'd been abandoned by this parents. But thinking about that would just bring on an attack and Matt was already fighting off the strong urge to run.

When the two reached the door to Matt's room Matt hesitated, stopping at the threshold.

'Does he want me to follow him?' He wondered, looking shyly at Mello, trying to find a glimpse of evidence that would provide an answer. Mello continued on, avoiding eye contact with Matt as he walked the few extra feet to his own room. Mello simply opened the door and closed it behind him, leaving Matt in the hallway alone.

It was all Matt could do not to slam his own door shut behind him as he entered his bedroom. He took a deep breath as he glance around his room, trying to find something to break. Something insignificant… expendable, but the only thing he could find was the two Chinese good luck cats that graced his dresser. Those had been the only thing his parents had willingly given to him, right before things changed. Those cats were his last link between him and his past.

He grabbed one off the dresser top and raised it in the air, holding it between his fingers, admiring the hand-painted details of the eyes and whiskers. The cat smiled down at him, eyes shining… mocking him. So much for good luck. Matt formed a fist around the cat figuring and raised it even higher into the air. He threw it as hard as he could against the door, smashing it into a thousand pieces. The 'bang' and 'clash' that followed seemed to lessen Matt's frustration. He collapsed beside the bed; he couldn't hold it in any longer.

Matt's body started shaking as he drew his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. His damp clothes dripped onto the hardwood floor. He couldn't seem to breathe, he tried to slow his breathing down and calm himself but to no avail, this attack was bad. Matt clenched his hand into a fist once more and punched the wall next to him until his hand began to ache. He fell to his side exhausted, his breath hitched as his face began to turn red.

He barely noticed when his bedroom door was shoved open. All he could sense was the faint touch of hands pulling him into a sitting position.

"You fucking dumbass…"Mello said as he righted Matt and shoved a paper bag into his face. " Breathe into that for awhile." Matt complied, grabbing the bag and placing it to his lips. He closed his eyes as he attempted to concentrate on calming himself down. Mello sat beside him, glancing over at the shattered remnants of cat lying on the floor. They sat in silence once again until Matt's attack had dissipated.

Mello had asked him about the cats before and Matt had told him what he could about his parents. Mello had just nodded his head in understanding and left it at that. Matt removed the paper bag from his face and stared at the pieces on the floor.

"Why'd you do that…" Mello asked. Matt glanced over at him, then averted his eyes to the bag that lie in his lap. He didn't want to tell Mello this time. He had already poured himself into a kiss that wasn't returned. He just didn't feel like talking anymore. Mello waited for him to answer and when Matt didn't he started to get frustrated. Matt tried to act as if it didn't bother him, keeping himself busy by tearing up pieces of the bag.

Suddenly, Mello stood up, frustrated that Matt wouldn't let him know what was wrong. He walked over to Matt's dresser and grabbed the last good luck cat from its surface. Before Matt could understand what was happening Mello threw the cat as hard as he could at the floor, its pieces shattering across the wood surface. Matt stared wide-eyed at Mello. He jolted up and walked up to the blonde, grabbing Mello by the shirt collar.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT!" He screamed as he shoved Mello away. Mello had already broken his heart, why did he insist on breaking everything else Matt had?

Mello pushed him back.

"THEY CAN'T HAVE YOU ANYMORE!" Mello screamed, eyes charged with energy. Matt stood in front of Mello, his brow furrowed. What did he mean by that? Mello looked away and shuffled in his position, obviously uncomfortable. He folded his arms across himself in an attempt to appear nonchalant about the situation.

"They don't need you anymore…. I do, Mail."

Matt's jaw dropped. What was this? Was Mello apologizing? Confessing?

"What…" Matt all but whispered. Mello had never said his real name before and Matt took notice of the way he said it gently, almost a whisper. This game was so hard for him to play; it was becoming too personal. Mello looked up at him, lips pursed.

"I said 'I need you' you idiot…" Mello said, never talking his eyes off Matt. Mello's eyes were defiant, piercing through Matt like paper. Matt felt his heart thump in his chest. He was needed? Coming from anyone else those words would've held less meaning. But Matt knew that Mello couldn't express himself as well as most people. Those three words had meant more than they seemed. Matt wasn't sure how to act. Should he say something back? Why couldn't he just press the 'X' button to produce a line of text like in his video games? Why did he have to think so hard about this?

"Mihael…" was all he could think of to say as Mello's eyes continued to pierce his defenses. Before his mind could even fully process their conversation, Mello had forced himself up to Matt, making him back away slightly startled. The shattered pieces of the porcelain cats crunched under his feet as Matt stepped backward. Mello pushed him to the edge of the bed making Matt's knees buckle as he fell down onto the mattress startled. Their lips brushed ever so slightly and Matt gasped at the sudden weight on top of him as Mello assaulted his lips once more, this time more vigorously. Matt struggled beneath him, but Mello just grabbed his arms, pinning them down on either side of Matt's head with his leather gloved hands. Matt could've easily pushed the blonde off of him and onto the floor, but something inside him wanted this… wanted Mello to control him.

Matt looked up at Mello, a blush slowly creeping across his cheeks at their position. Mello's eyes were filled with lust. Whatever had been holding back Mello's unseen feelings had broke, not that Matt was complaining. This was a game he could really get into. Matt struggled a little more, bucking his hips as if trying to push Mello off him. Mello pushed Matt down into the bed with his hips, their groins touching. Matt's face became hot as he felt his body react to Mello's torment.

"What's wrong?" Mello asked teasingly, a smirk forming on his lips. Mello leaned down to whisper in Matt's ear; his breath tickling Matt's cheek. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

Matt sighed, trying to control the feeling that had been growing inside him. Matt gasped as Mello began to nibble on his ear lobe; brushing his soft pink lips against the sensitive skin of Matt's neck. Mello's mouth left a trail of wetness as he traveled down Matt's neck to his shoulder. He stopped to gently suck and bite at the flesh there, marking his territory.

"Ahh…" Matt sighed when he felt the teeth puncture his pale skin. Matt felt Mello smirk at the sound; pressing himself against Matt to increase the threshold of pain and pleasure. Mello licked the blood away from the wound he had created, smiling at the bruise that was beginning to form there. Mello released Matt's hands as he busied himself with Matt's pants; unbuttoning and unzipping the jeans irreverently.

--

Matt woke in a cold sweat, his heart pounding. He looked around the abandoned apartment room: the curtains were still drawn; the sound of computers whirring filled his ears. A dream? It had all just been a dream… Matt brought a hand up and touched the skin of his shoulder gingerly, expecting the touch to be painful, but it wasn't. It had all felt so real. So much so that his body had reacted as it would have if he had been there.

Matt shifted his pants uncomfortably as he pushed himself into a sitting position on the black leather sofa. How long had it been since that day? Mello's sudden appearance into his life had refreshed many memories with it. He found himself having dreams of past events: when they had first met, when Mello had first said his name… when they had first had….

Matt shook his head, trying to clear it. He couldn't think about that now, it would just make his already bad problem worse. Matt brought a hand up to rub the sleep from his eyes. Mello was still not back from his 'friend's' house. Matt looked at the clock, it was only four PM. At least he had gotten some sleep. Matt sat stagnant for a few minutes, trying to calm his problem, but every time he closed his eyes all he saw was smooth skin, blonde hair… and those eyes. Matt shifted his pants once more.

"Damn it…" Matt let his curse fall on deaf ears as he stood up and walked into the small apartment bathroom. He turned on the light and proceeded to remove his clothes. He pulled his striped shirt over his head, letting it fall to the floor, revealing flawless pale skin. Well almost flawless. Matt looked into the mirror, the fluorescent light washing the color from his being, creating a ghost like illusion in the mirror. There on his shoulder was the mark that Mello had left him. Mello had bit him so hard that night that he had left a scar, a reminder of his presence in Matt's life. Matt reached a hand up and gently touched the scar, smiling slightly to himself.

He removed the rest of his clothing before turning the facet on in the bathtub and adjusting the temperature. He pulled the shower nozzle up, letting the water spill into the tub. Matt closed his eyes as the listened to the sound of the water. It sounded so similar to the rain. Matt left himself remember that night he had encountered Mello in the rain.

"Mihael…" Matt whispered to himself. The water pipes groaned in protest, waking Matt from his illusion. He sighed as he stepped into the tub, letting the water drops caress his skin as he leaned into the touch. Water always made him feel better, though he'd rather have those caresses be Mello's fingertips. Matt had hoped that a shower would assist him in washing his growing problem away, but this was one stubborn problem. Matt sighed in frustrating.

He wanted Mello so bad. He wanted to feel that control again, that complete dominance. He wanted to be able to let go and just feel. Matt sighed and reached a hand down in an attempt to fix his problem. He thought about Mello, his soft lips, his smooth skin and those piercing eyes. The way the black leather Mello worn clung in all the right places…. He imagined how it had felt to have Mello on top of him, pressed against him, hot and hard. Matt's pace quickened.

--

Mello entered the apartment, closing and locking the door behind him, spilling the contents of the bag on the couch. He glanced around the apartment, looking at the clock. It was only 4:23, there was plenty of time to get prepared for the nights events. Mello looked over the couch, glancing at the computers, noticing that Matt wasn't sitting in front of any of them. As if answering his unasked question, Mello heard the sound of water fill the apartment. He smirked to himself as he walked toward the bathroom.

This would be a perfect opportunity to frustrate the hell out of Matt. Mello slowed his step as he approached the bathroom door. He grabbed the doorknob delicately and turned it bit by bit, attempting to be as quiet as possible.

"Ahh.."

Mello stopped in his tracks at the sound. Had he imagined it? Mello placed his ear carefully against the surface of the door. He stilled himself and listened closely, closing his eyes to increase his perception.

"Ahh…. Mihael…"

Mello's eyes widened, he jerked his head away from the door and stood, motionless in front of the bathroom door. He knew that this time it wasn't his imagination. Was Matt in there… thinking about him… while he… Mello smirked at the idea.

Mello smiled to himself. His strategy was working; he was winning the game. Mello turned his back to the door and walked over to the couch. He sat down and began to shuffle through the contents of the bag, waiting for Matt to get out of the shower. Yes, this would be an excellent opportunity to frustrate the gamer.