So where are Carol and Daryl? Carol escaped walkers in the tombs and got trapped in a closet. Daryl has been looking soulful while he deals with everybody else. Now it is time for him to into the tombs and …..
Bring Carol Back
It wasn't dark in the closet anymore. She wasn't alone in there either. It had been dark and lonely and Carol had thought that if she yelled loud enough and beat on the door hard enough somebody would come and open the door. Daryl would find her. He would keep looking on down those halls until he heard her and then he would open the door and say, "I'll save you, Carol".
Then, as hour after hour passed she had come to know that he wasn't coming. Daryl had found something else more important than looking for her. Her throat was so dry and she was so tired and no one was looking for her. She couldn't push the door open and she was well and truly done for.
She had fallen asleep and when Carol woke up she wasn't alone any more. Sophia was sitting on the floor beside her. "Get up, Mommy. You need to keep fighting".
Carol turned her head, "Oh, Sophia. I can't fight any more. It's time for me to quit fighting and give in. You look so beautiful, but so different." Sophia wasn't a little girl anymore. At least, she didn't stay little. Carol saw her as a baby, a little girl, a young woman, a middle-aged woman, and as an old woman. She was a shimmering mass of Sophia and incredibly lovely in all her forms.
The being who had been Sophia Peletier and who was now something else smiled, "Of course, I am. I am the being I was created to be. You see me as Sophia because that is who I was here. I love you, love is eternal, and I am here to stay beside you until you decide what you are going to do. I know how you hate the dark and being closed in, but you won't be alone this time. For a little while I am here".
Carol whispered, "If I give up, do I get to go with you?"
Sophia eternal eyes were sad, "Yes, it will be just you and me until we get to the bridge. Then, we'll be met by others and cross the bridge with them. But you have things to accomplish in this life and if you aren't there, well that changes things for other people. You are needed here. You should fight for your life."
"Why does God hate us?" Carol asked the question that had plagued her since the beginning. Where was a loving God in this hellish world?
Sophia said, "Hate you? Do you have any idea of how many have been added to our numbers? There is nothing of the Creator in what happened. The Creator allows free will and terrible things happen that we can't understand. There is a remnant left. The world can come back." Her voice softened, "If you decide to fight you will live. You can go take a walk and look at the Creation. Take a walk in the night and look at the stars. The Earth is a beautiful place and your life can bring you fulfillment. You were created to bring joy to others as you did me. That is a gift that not everyone has."
"Maybe you aren't real. I am making you up. You are just a hallucination caused my fear and sensory deprivation. You are dead and buried at the farm and that is the end of that story. I can give up and find peace in the nothingness that is waiting for me, " Carol was tired of this New Age bull shit. She was stuck in a damn closet and nobody in this shit hole cared enough to go look for her.
Sophia was stern, "Put those thoughts away from you. Carol, you belong to the Creator."
Carol pushed the darkness away in her mind and looked at Sophia, "How do I find the strength to live? I have been weak and spineless my whole life. I hate how weak I am. I am afraid of everything."
"No, you aren't weak. You will have to be strong to survive in this world but you always were strong. I don't think you will be afraid of anything anymore." Sophia knew that it was time for Carol to decide.
Carol thought about those she loved that were left on this earth. They could survive without her but who would do the things that she was supposed to do? What would happen if no one did them? "I need to stay because Lori will need me when the baby comes. Beth and Maggie won't know how to tend a newborn. I'll have to help Herhel with the c-section. And Daryl needs me too."
Sophia was now the age she was when she died. "Daryl needs you more than you know. I'll be there when your time comes, but that will be many years from now. I'll meet you at the bridge and we'll go over together. You won't remember much about this and a lot more time has passed than you think."
Carol nodded; all she could think to do was hit the door and she began a slow ponderous pound. It was loud enough to be heard by Daryl who hesitated at the door. He was in torment thinking that Carol as a walker was on the other side of that door. He finally opened the door and found her alive inside. Carol attempted a smile at him and the light from the hallway shut out the light that was Sophia.
Daryl scooped her up and carried her back to the front of the prison. He and Hershel worked together to get her to drink water and to eat just a little. Daryl was close to her when she saw the baby for the first time and when she comforted Rick. Then he slipped away and left her.
Hershel found him outside later. "Now where did you run off to? Carol has been drinking water and eating. She is making a remarkable physical recovery, but I am worried about her psychological health. Lori's death has hit her hard and the trauma from being trapped down in the deep downs in the darkness for all this time?" Hershel shook his head and started back inside. It was slow going on his crutches and another thought came to mind and he stopped. Hershel dismissed it because he had never been a meddling busy body and wasn't going to start now. He started to go, but the thought came again and this time he was obedient. "She needs you to be there for her you know. You can run out here and hide all you want. I can't make you do anything. Life is precious and you've wasted enough of it." The old man turned and struggled his way back inside.
Daryl was glad to hear that Carol was eating and drinking. He had left her because he was falling apart. He wanted to tell all of them to leave her alone and let him take care of her. He had left because he knew he had failed to take care of her; he had done everything else by look for her. She should hate him. He hated himself. He had finally shaken off his fear of finding her as a walker and went to gather her body for burial. His fear had kept him from finding her before now. If she had died down there it would be on him.
Carol had eaten, drank water, and slept for hours. Beth was doing a good job with the baby and Carol talked with her about some things that they would do to keep Judith healthy. She kept looking for Daryl but he never showed back up.
At sunset she walked out to the yard. The western sky was ablaze with color and Carol took time to really appreciate how beautiful it was. The last year had been so horrific that she had turned herself away from anything but survival. Carol walked alone down to their grave yard. There were three newly dug graves and one had been for her. She had been dead to them and resurrected today. Carol sat down and made promises that she intended to keep. She vowed to Lori that she would always protect Carl and her new baby girl. Carol looked at the grave of TDog, a good man gone too soon. She had the strangest notion that Sophia had met him on a bridge and they walked toward shimmering lights and welcoming faces. Theodore Douglas was at rest; she knew that. He died as he had lived, in a state of grace. He had refused an easy death and instead opened up his arms and pulled the walkers toward him. He chose to die in agony so that she had a chance to live. She owed him something for that. Carol determined to not waste any more of her life regretting what she had or hadn't done in the past. She would enjoy her life and show that he had not suffered in vain.
Daryl watched Carol from the guard tower. She looked so small from here and yet she was his whole world. The old man was right; he had wasted enough time. Carol needed him to be her man. Her man should protect her, share his life with her, and be put her first. Could he do that?
Maggie and Glenn came up the stairs and told him that they were ready to take watch. Daryl smirked a little; those two just wanted to get back to doing what they liked to do on watch. He went on down the stairs and hesitated at the bottom. He could go on in to the prison or he could walk down and talk to Carol. He started down the overgrown field toward her.
Carol looked up and saw Daryl coming to check on her. She was looking at the third grave with its Cherokee Rose on it. That was him of course. It was something that only Daryl would do. She had the sudden realization that Daryl needed her. He didn't make friends all that easily and who else would care as much as she did about him?
Daryl looked at the grave with the dying flower on it. "This place is for the dead and you don't belong here". He held his hand out and helped her up. "So why don't we take a walk around our new home?" He didn't release her hand and they started around the perimeter of the fence.
"Can we stay out long enough to see the stars come out?" Carol didn't know why but she just wanted to see the night time sky and to enjoy the breeze that was cooking the earth down. "It's the cool of the day, you know".
Daryl squeezed her hand gently. "You have to tell me when you start getting tired ". They walked back to the prison and sat on a bench out front. Daryl put his arm around her and she leaned toward him and they waited together for the stars to come out".
Daryl has the time to think about what he wants because Merle did not find Maggie and Glenn and take them back to the prison. Merle changed all sorts of things when he decided to talk to Michonne instead of trying to kill her. Maggie and Glenn are up in the tower doing what comes natural and the Governor does not that anyone is living in the prison for at least a little while.
You can choose to believe that Sophia was an otherworldly being sent to Carol by the Creator or not. You can choose to believe that Sophia was a hallucination brought about by traumatic events or sensory deprivation. Sophia would tell you that you have free will.
I hated that Carol being locked in a closet was invariably about Daryl's man pain so I wrote it to show what was going on in that closet. Later on Carol will tell Merle "I am not afraid of anything and where in the world did that come from?
Carol and Daryl are not going to go back into the prison and do the wild thing. Or will they? The important thing is that Daryl chose to walk that long lonesome path down to her and hold out his hand and hold on. Isn't that enough for one chapter?
The next chapter is back to Merle and Michonne and for those of you who have read "I Ain't Nobody" Christie and Jesse.
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