Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry it has taken so long to update this story. Life has been hectic and busy the past few weeks and wouldn't let me upload again, argh. College has been riding my butt with lots of assignments and papers since it is getting near the end of the semester (two more weeks! Yay!) Plus, I got a new dog so I've been spending time with her, training and playing with her. Her name is Baley, and yes, I spell it like my favorite girl couple, Brooke + Haley Baley :) It might be about two weeks before I can update again because, like I said, the semester is coming to an end so that means finals which also means that I will have to hunker down and really focus on studying instead of writing this story, which I would rather be doing more. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter! As always, please read and review!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. One Tree Hill and its characters are property of the CW.
Rating: K+ to T
There Goes My Life
Chapter 3 – A Place to Call Home
Brooke had no idea where to go. She couldn't go back to her house because she no longer lived there. Peyton was out of the picture, for obvious reasons, and Haley was gone, following her dreams on a tour bus more than a thousand miles away. She knew she couldn't go to Lucas. She had just broken up with him and it would only make Nathan angrier with her if he found out. Brooke choked on a sob as she drove aimlessly through the streets of Tree Hill. How could Nathan think she would get back together with Lucas? They had promised each other they would raise their baby together. He had promised that he would be there for her and their baby. Now she was alone. They were alone. She had no one and didn't know where to turn to for comfort and support.
Brooke finally decided to go see Karen. While she and Lucas were dating, Brooke and Karen had become close, and she thought of Karen as sort of a surrogate mother, the mother she never had, as Karen thought of her as a daughter. Brooke was apprehensive to go to her though. Things were different now. She was no longer dating her son. Brooke hoped desperately that Karen wouldn't turn her away. Karen was the only person who could understand her and what she was going through.
When she reached Karen's house, Brooke knocked lightly on the door, hoping that Lucas wasn't home. It was too soon to see him after she had just broken up with him for good. A few moments later, Karen answered the door. Her happy expression changed to one of concern when she saw that Brooke was upset. "Brooke… What's wrong, honey," she asked as she engulfed the crying girl in her arms. Brooke laid her head on Karen's shoulder and cried even harder as she relished in the feel of the older woman's strong arms around her. "I-I didn't know where else to go," Brooke choked on a sob as she gripped her tighter. Never relinquishing her hold on the younger girl, Karen guided them into the house and sat them down on the living room couch. "Tell me what's wrong, sweetie," Karen demanded gently as she brushed some hair away from her face. Brooke shut her eyes tightly as a few tears spilled onto her cheeks, reliving the fight with Nathan in her head. "I-I-I'm pregnant, Karen," Brooke began to sob as she buried her face in her hands, "I'm sorry. I-I just- I didn't have anywhere else to go… You were the first person I could think of… I screwed up so bad…"
Karen gasped and let out the breath slowly then wrapped her arms around the girl and comforted her as she rocked her gently back and forth, "Sh… You are not a screw-up, Brooke. You listen to me, okay? I'm glad you came to me. You're like a daughter to me, Brooke." Brooke looked up at her with a teary expression and gave her a small smile. "Have you told Lucas yet," Karen asked softly as she rubbed her back. Brooke looked down at her hands, more tears welling in her eyes as she shook her head, "It's not Lucas' baby, Karen. I got pregnant after we broke up. I'm eight weeks along." "Do you know who-" Karen began gently, but Brooke interrupted her. "Nathan's the father," Brooke whispered. "Have you told him," the older woman inquired. Brooke choked on a sob as she nodded, "I-I told him about a week ago. He was so great about everything, Karen. He was understanding. He wanted to be in the baby's life. He wanted me to move in with him so he could look after me and the baby. I agreed and we moved my things over to his apartment yesterday… Then this morning Lucas came by and he-he wanted to get back together with me… I told him I couldn't be with him again and when I went back to the apartment, Nathan was angry. He thought Lucas and I were together again… I tried to explain, but-but he yelled at me and told me to get out…" Brooke buried her face into Karen's shoulder as the sobs began to overtake her.
"I'm sure he didn't mean it, sweetie," Karen tried to soothe the distraught girl by softly stroking her hair and rubbing small circles on her back, "He was upset. He jumped to conclusions. I'm sure he's worried sick about you. He'll calm down then you two can talk." Brooke shook her head but immediately stopped and covered her mouth when she felt the nausea begin to settle in her stomach, "I need to use the bathroom." Karen nodded and followed after her, holding her hair back when she started to retch into the toilet. Once she was done, Karen offered her a wet washcloth to wipe her mouth. "I can't see him, Karen, not right now. I just- I can't talk to him…" "It's okay. You don't have to right now if you don't want to, but you need to talk to him sometime. You should get some rest. All this stress isn't good for the baby. I'll fix up Lucas' bed for you with some new sheets and pillows. The couch really isn't good for your back." "Thank you Karen," Brooke wrapped her arms around the older woman's neck. "No problem sweetie," Karen patted her back then helped her to her feet.
Once Brooke was alone in Lucas' room, she felt uncomfortable. She felt weird being there and lying in his bed when they were no longer together. Despite this, she shifted around a little, trying to find a good position to fall asleep. Tears slipped out of her closed eyes as she relived the fight over and over in her head. How could Nathan think that she would go back to Lucas? After all their talks and discussions and plans about the baby? She hoped he hadn't really meant to kick her out of the apartment. She needed him, now more than ever. She had a baby on the way and he was the only person she could turn to, well, maybe besides Karen. That brought her to another thought. She would have to tell people soon, if her growing stomach didn't tell them first. How would people react? She'd have to tell her parents soon too, as well as Nathan's parents, Dan and Deb. Brooke had to admit that Dan scared her. She knew he would react badly to the news. He would try to turn Nathan against her; make Nathan leave her because having a baby with his dreams so close would ruin his life. Brooke choked back a sob. She couldn't lose Nathan. He was her rock. She couldn't raise this baby alone. Brooke gently laid a hand on her stomach as she turned her head to look out the window, tears streaming down her face, "I need your daddy, baby. I can't do this without him." Wiping her face with the sleeve of her shirt, Brooke turned on her side and closed her eyes.
A few minutes later, Brooke's eyes shot open when she felt a hand cover her own on her stomach. "Lucas, what are you doing?" Brooke scooted back as she pushed his hand away. "Brooke, why didn't you tell me," Lucas whispered, tears forming in his eyes, "Why did you tell me you couldn't be with me again? Was it because of the baby? Were you planning on leaving Tree Hill with my child and never tell me?" His voice rose in volume as anger surged through him. Brooke slowly sat up and stared at her hands in her lap, fiddling with them nervously, "The baby isn't yours, Luke." "You cheated on me," Lucas shouted in shock, "I can't believe this! You are such a hypocrite! You don't hesitate to bash me about how I cheated on you with Peyton and here you were cheating on me?" Brooke slapped his cheek, "How dare you! I was faithful to you every single day of our relationship! Don't you dare accuse me of cheating! Who's the hypocrite? For your information, I got pregnant after we broke up. You missed the train, buddy. Consider yourself lucky. You aren't forced into a loveless relationship and you aren't forced to take responsibility of a child that you probably don't even want even if it were yours!"
"Then why the hell are you here? Why are you laying in my bed? Who's the father? Do you even know who he is," Lucas returned nastily. Brooke slapped his other cheek, "I came here to see your mother, jackass. I needed her advice. She has experience about this kind of situation, you know. I started to feel sick so your mother said I could rest in your room." "Who's the father," Lucas growled. Brooke became nervous and stared at her hands again, "Nathan is." Lucas totally blew it. "God Brooke, my own brother?! How could you do that to me? Were Nathan and Haley even broken up? How long has this been going on behind my back? Dammit!" Lucas turned and punched his hand into the wall. "You cheated on me with my best friend!" Lucas leaned his head back and rolled his eyes, "Here we go again. How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?" "What is going on in here," Karen asked crossly as she entered the room. "It was one time. I didn't do it to spite you, Lucas. Nathan and I were both lonely and we found comfort in each other for a night. I didn't expect it to happen. It just did," Brooke whispered, starting to cry again. Karen went over to Brooke and wrapped her arms around her, "Sh… Brooke, remember I told you that stress isn't good for the baby." "I know," Brooke whimpered. "Lucas, leave, now," Karen ordered as she pointed towards the door. Lucas grabbed his basketball from the floor near his dresser and left the room without another word or second glance. Brooke buried her face in Karen's shoulder.
"Come on, let's get you into bed. You need to rest and get some sleep," Karen guided her back to the bed and helped her lie down, pulling the covers over her. "I don't know if I can," Brooke said as she sniffled and rubbed her face. "You can try," Karen gave her a wry smile then pushed some hair out of Brooke's face, "I bet you're exhausted. Sleep will come. Would some soft music help?" Brooke nodded and Karen turned on the radio to a slow station, setting the volume low so it wouldn't keep Brooke awake or disturb her sleep. "Get some rest, honey," Karen rubbed her back one last time before she quietly left the room. Brooke closed her eyes as she laid her head on the pillow and listened to the smooth tone of a country song that had just started playing on the radio. Then the words hit her ears and she began to cry again as the events of the past week resurfaced in her mind.
What do you do, where do you go Oh, to hold somebody close that cares
When nowhere feels like home...
Oh, to finally find some roots somewhere
I know someday I'll find that it's out there...
It wasn't long after Karen left Lucas' bedroom that she heard the phone ring. She rushed to get it and picked it up on the second ring, "Hello, Roe residence. This is Karen." "Karen, is-is Lucas around? I tried to get a hold of him on his cell phone but he won't answer it," Nathan sounded worried over the line. "She's here, Nathan," Karen responded. He let out a sigh of relief, "She is? Thank god! I'll be over in a few minutes-" "No, don't come here, Nathan," Karen ordered, "She's pretty upset and I just got her to lay down and rest for awhile; she's exhausted. Give her some time." "But I need-" Nathan began to protest, but Karen interrupted him. "I know you want to see her but she's not ready to see or talk to you yet. I'll tell you what, let Brooke sleep for two hours and then you can come over. Two hours and nothing less, Nathan," Karen warned. "Okay, thank you Karen," Nathan responded with a smile, "I'll see you in two hours." "Don't thank me yet," Karen muttered under her breath then said louder, "Bye Nathan."
The two hours of waiting and pacing, pacing and waiting, were long and agonizing for Nathan and the minute they were up, he was standing at Karen's front door. Karen glared at him as she answered the door, "You couldn't wait a few more minutes?" "I can't wait any longer. I need to see her. Is she up yet," Nathan asked anxiously. "No, she's still sleeping. First, we need to talk," Karen gestured him into the house then closed the door, crossing her arms over her chest. "What about," Nathan asked, inwardly cringing because he had a feeling this conversation wasn't going to go well. "She was really upset when she came over here, Nathan. She was crying and she felt sick… she was a complete mess. She can't have any stress in her condition, Nathan. Now, I-" Nathan looked up at her, "She told you?" Karen nodded her head in affirmation, "You have to be really careful with her, Nathan. Stress isn't good for her or the baby. If her stress levels or blood pressure get too high, something bad could happen. She could lose the baby or go into premature labor. Her age and small frame don't help matters either."
Nathan turned pale and he had a panic-stricken expression on his face, "How do you know all this?" "Because when I was pregnant with Lucas, the doctor told me the same things I'm telling you. Brooke and I are about the same height and she's about the same age I was… and because I almost lost Lucas once…when I was five months along. I went into premature labor. Luckily, they were able to stop the contractions and I had Lucas at about eight months." "Oh…" Nathan responded quietly, swallowing hard as he tried to digest all of what Karen had said to him. "Don't upset her, Nathan," Karen warned, "She's been through a lot today." Nathan nodded silently and Karen gestured towards the hallway, telling him it was okay to go see her.
Nathan quietly entered Lucas' room and carefully sat down on the edge of the bed beside Brooke's sleeping form. His eyes traveled over her body for a few moments, seeing her tear-stained cheeks and one of her hands was splayed protectively against her stomach. He choked up as he remembered what Karen had said to him. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to Brooke or the baby. Nathan gently placed his hand on her shoulder and a couple minutes later, she began to stir awake. Brooke turned her head slightly and her eyes slowly fluttered open, but when she saw him sitting next to her, she closed them again. "What are you doing here," she whispered hoarsely. Nathan's hand traveled down her arm and took her hand into his own as tears formed in his eyes and his voice choked up, "Brooke, I-I am so, so sorry I yelled at you this morning… I didn't mean to, I swear. It's just- when I saw you two holding hands, I-I thought you were getting back together with him and I was scared because…because you two would be together and it seemed like…like I wouldn't matter anymore and Lucas would be raising the baby with you, instead of me."
Nathan closed his eyes and a few tears slipped through as he hung his head, trying to hide his face from her view. Brooke sat up and gripped his hand tighter, lifting his chin with an index finger, "I would never deny you your child, Nathan. I wasn't getting back together with Lucas. He wanted to, but I told him no. You have to understand, Nathan, Lucas was my first true love and a part of me will always love him. He was the only guy who truly loved me for me but he broke my heart. I've always had trust issues, but when I found out about Peyton and Lucas… all of my trust, everything I knew, went out the window. It's going to take some time to rebuild my trust. Maybe one day I will be able to open my heart up again, but I don't see it happening in the near future." Nathan's eyes widened in surprise, "You want to date other people?" "In the future, after the baby is born. Maybe, I don't know," Brooke replied uncertainly, glancing up at him from the corner of her eye, "Don't you?" No, Nathan said to himself in his head, but responded cautiously, not wanting to upset her, "Um, I think it would be best, for the sake of the baby, if we didn't see other people. I mean, the baby might get confused, you know, seeing its parents dating other people and not each other. You know what I mean?" Brooke nodded silently as she looked down, now only realizing that their hands were still locked together.
"It's best for the baby," Brooke nodded again a few moments later, tears welling in her eyes as she looked down and placed a hand against her stomach. "I am so sorry I yelled at you…" Nathan brushed some hair away from her face and wiped away her tears with his thumb, "Please don't cry." "It's the hormones, I can't help it," Brooke let out a soft chuckle as she sniffled and rubbed her wet cheeks. Nathan's forehead wrinkled in concern. "I know I must have stressed you out a lot this morning with everything that happened. Are you and the baby okay," he asked worriedly as he brushed his fingertips briefly over her stomach. It was the first time he had touched her there since she had told him she was pregnant. His child was growing inside of her. It was a miraculous thing; a live little human being was in there. He was going to be a father in seven months.
"We're fine," Brooke gave him a small smile as she took his hand and pressed it against her flat abdomen, "a little tired but fine." "Why don't we go back to the apartment and you can go take another little nap if you're still tired. I got your room all ready," Nathan responded. Brooke's face brightened, "You did?" Nathan nodded, "Karen wouldn't let me come over here for two hours because she wanted you to rest so I unpacked everything and set it all up." "Thank you," Brooke replied as she sat up on her knees and hugged him tight. "No problem," he responded as he held out his hand and helped her up from the bed, "come on, let's go home." She gave him one of her dimpled smiles and he grinned back as he wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her towards the door.
Once they arrived back at the apartment, Brooke went to lie down for a little while after she had eaten some of her food from Taco Bell that had been left untouched from the night before. Nathan decided to go pick up the mail and as he walked to the mailboxes, he couldn't stop smiling over the talk they'd had at Karen's. He got to touch his child for the first time and Brooke had agreed that she wouldn't date any other guys; he had her all to himself. He knew it was selfish, but he loved her and he really did believe that it would be confusing for their child if he or she saw their parents dating other people, not that he would want to date other people anyway. All he needed was Brooke, and their baby, and that would be enough for him. He knew that Brooke didn't have feelings for him, but maybe over time, she would love him. Nathan's smile broadened as he opened the mail box with his key. Who knows, maybe she would fall in love with him and they would get married someday then all three of them could be one happy little family; Nathan, Brooke, and their baby. Nathan's brows furrowed in confusion as he sifted through the mail in his hands, noticing a postcard from California among the bills and junk mail. He turned it over and his eyes widened in realization. Oh shit, Haley.
