Enter the Ass-Heroes.

Shishi Wakamaru. Jin the Wind Master. Rinku. Touya the drunken Ice Master. Suzuka the Beautiful.

And Chuu. HIM. The very reason Shishi was standing on the curb in a sexy man thong and a pair of handcuffs hanging from his wrist. "Honestly," sighed Shishi, having gotten over his humiliation ages ago. "Why leopard print? Just answer me that."

"Shush!" hissed Jin. "A car's comin'. Execute sexy pose!" Shishi snarled, then draped one leg over the rail he'd been humping for twenties for the past hour.

"Jin, I say it's your turn now," hissed the blue-haired demon, baring his fangs.

"I shay, now, dat dere wash the darn tootin' shmexiest thing I ever did shee!" came a drawling voice. "Ya wanna shink dose dere fangs shomewhere elshe?" Shishi's eyes widened in terror as a man stepped out of the rusty red truck. His thin white hair stuck out in patches and obviously hadn't been washed since… well, judging by his age, the late Jurassic. His overalls were baggy, and the front two straps were undone, showing off a torn, red-plaid shirt. Shishi had a good guess why the man was so fascinated by fangs—poor old geezer was entirely toothless.

Shishi stood with his mouth open for a moment. "Oh hell no. No, no, no on a million levels!"

"How much will you pay him?" asked Touya.

"A roun' hunnred!" said the man enthusiastically.

"A hundred dollars! That'll be enough for one ticket!" whispered Rinku. "Make him do it, Touya! Please!"

"He'll do it!" Jin exclaimed, snatching the money. "Go on, Shishi!"

"NO!" he shrieked.

"Oh for hell's sake!" Suzuka, who had far too few lines in this chapter so far, picked up a large pole and hit the man upside the head.

"RUN!" shouted Chuu, as Rinku snatched the man's wallet and bolted.

"OK, maybe we'll have a better chance with mugging people than applying to the skin trade," gasped Touya, counting the money they'd collected for the night. "Alright, I'd say this will cover Shishi's plane ticket. Now we've got to earn enough for five more people."

"Yer fuckin' me!" exclaimed Jin in disbelief. "Five more nights o' TIS?"

"Hey," growled Touya. "I'm not the one who ATE our tickets!"

"But you GAVE them to Chuu!"

"You gave him beer!"

"Oh, SHUT UP!" screamed Rinku. "And you say I'm the kid here… damn."

Silence.

"Well, I'm guessing we're not playing hooker anymore," reasoned Suzuka, who still had too few lines. "What's next?"

"How 'bout magic tricks on a street corner?" Rinku pulled out his yo-yo's. "I'll earn the money for my ticket tomorrow with these babies, and Touya can do a few ice tricks to earn money!"

"Dumbass! What if that floating baby Koenma detects our energies in the human realm?" Shishi snapped.

"Then he can come get us!"

However, little did our Ass-Heroes know, Koenma was well aware of their predicament. Actually, he was watching it on his screen. "Damn it, Ogre!" he snapped. "I thought they were really gonna do it!"

"Don't blame me, Koenma-sama!" whined Jorge, in his usual pushover manner.

"Well, if they think I'm gonna get them out of this, they can think again!"


A/N: OK, I'm sorry it took so long to update, but I'm fresh out of ideas! Maybe you guys could give me a few good ideas to use? hopeful Review, and let me know!