Ah! My Naruto

By Gmusick

Act I: Chapter 03 – Ah! An Unexpected Surprise

Disclaimer: Don't own a single piece of property, if I did I wouldn't be writing this.

The room was packed with overeager Genin when he made his way into the meeting hall. Once again he was late because Urd steadfastly refused to let him leave without eating breakfast. Which was ridiculous because the woman didn't know the first damn thing about cooking. Some of the ideas she tried forcing down his throat could be used in defense of Konoha they tasted so bad. Let the Hidden Cloud come. One hit with the garbage Urd called food and the whole village would fall from food poisoning.

Thinking about it was making made him even more agitated. The kitchen was good-sized. Filled with every vegetable, meat, and drink he could imagine, how she got the food she wouldn't say, but neither one of them knew a thing about cooking. His specialty was ramen, Urd's he quickly was learning was sake, and that wasn't even a food. When he asked Urd earlier she told him her sister always cooked back in her world so she never bothered. Just his luck to get the useless one.

Not wanting to be bothered after the rough morning, he pushed the problem to the back of his mind and made his way to his seat. He didn't notice the quiet that once again settled over the room which only stopped when the immediate area around his desk was surrounded by almost every male in the room.

"What the hell do you want?" Naruto growled with irritation.

Kiba, not put off in the slightest by his attitude, jumped to the hottest subject in months. "We heard you and the babe are living together in your own place and everything. Is it true?"

By the way everyone was looking at him, hanging on his answer, he was tempted to tell them the entire thing was a lie. Some cockamamie practical joke gone haywire. But it was obvious word traveled fast or they wouldn't be asking him about his living arrangements in the first place.

Heaving a tired sigh Naruto reluctantly answered. "Yeah."

Like the day before there was an uproar of catcalls and cheers from some of the males, while some snorted in disbelief, calling him a liar. Surprisingly, his thirteen-year-old mind couldn't understand why some of the females were looking at him as if he committed a crime. Adding to the surreal-ness of the experience, Hinata looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Man you are so lucky. I hate you even more now."

"Dude, how did you do it? You're only thirteen."

"She made you change your wardrobe. It must be serious."

"I'll trade you. Anything you want, just give me one day."

Someone patted him on the back and Naruto barely stilled the instinctive reaction of decking whoever touched him. He was quickly getting tired of the attention. It was good to be noticed but this was ridiculous. "Everybody shut up and listen. It's not like that, she's just a friend," he shouted.

Unfortunately no one believed him.

As with all things, the attention being brought upon young Naruto drew the eyes of the young ladies in the classroom. Before class began most of them crowded together and traded the few pieces of information they managed to gather together. It wasn't much. The woman seemingly came out of nowhere and no one personally knew her. How someone as untalented and crass as Uzumaki Naruto ended up with her was a mystery. One they planned on solving. Fortunately or unfortunately if you thought about it, Ino was spearheading the charge.

During their years in the academy, Naruto had never caught her eye. He was loud, stupid, and could be downright obnoxious when he wanted to be. Now, in light of this recent find, maybe there was something she overlooked. He said they were friends and it could be true, but what thirteen-year-old stayed with a grown woman not related to them in some way. If she remembered correctly, Naruto had lived alone for years.

From her chair she looked over and noted the lack of mirth in Naruto's expression. He was surrounded by boys eager to hear of sordid nights and steamy wakeups in the morning. The only thing was Naruto seemed closer to punching someone than regaling them with tales of his days. The reaction was unexpected, drawing a frown to her features. Just another piece of information for her to sort through.

The door opened and Iruka walked into the classroom. The chaos circling around Naruto drawing a wince to his face at the loud volume. He took one look at Naruto and shook his head. "Alright, alright party's over. Everyone take a seat.

Naruto looked thankful for the unexpected help, sending a tired grin in Iruka's direction. Ino watched the exchange with a raised eyebrow but stayed quiet.

Shuffling a handful of papers to make sure everything was in order, Iruka began reading off several sheets. Naming the teams in numerical order, drawing groans and cheers from various sections of the room until Naruto finally heard his name being called.

"Team seven will be Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, and Haruno Sakura."

Naruto could feel a headache coming on. He was being teamed up with the future Mrs. Hokage, his all time dream. Normally information like this would have sent him running through the city with joy but he just couldn't manage to care. He was hungry, these clowns around him were beyond irritating, and he was going to be teamed with the most annoying, emotionally retentive kid he'd known.

I thought Urd was supposed to bring me good luck.

Iruka-sensei gave a little speech Naruto failed to hear, trying to enjoy his moment of peace. His former teacher gathered his papers, gave a smile to his former students and left the room. Naruto fervently wished he had stayed.

"Can we come over?"

"Is she dating?"

"Have you seen them? Are they big?" one male asked, lecherous grin in place.

He was going to kill someone soon. He just knew it.


Urd, in nothing more than cut off shorts and a tank top, did what she did best… lounge and do nothing. She had her sake, the big screen television she managed to get from home through a lot of 'negotiating' with Skuld was set up, her soaps were on and her charge was off learning how to sever peoples necks in a million little ways. All in all it was a nice little setup. But she was curious and bored. Two things anyone that knows Urd should realize equaled trouble.

Easily deciding missing this one episode wouldn't throw her off too much, with nothing more than a mental thought her attire changed from the house wear to a denim skirt and long-sleeved coat combo. Put together with a black t-shirt with the words 'Naruto's Favorite Groupie.'

Left index finger lightly tapping her chin she wondered if she was going a bit overboard in helping him with his popularity. A simple potion or spell would give the same results in less time. But before she began anything she would have to pick out Naruto's lucky lady. She knew of the pink-haired Haruno girl he was always raving about, the pale-eyed Hyuuga that had such a big crush on him was another choice, and unknown to anyone else the almost eerily quiet Ayame girl had an affection for Naruto she kept well hidden. She didn't think any of them could handle Naruto.

Sakura claimed to be in love with that kid Sasuke and Urd wasn't going to comment how ludicrous that sounded, Hinata was too shy and introverted to hold a decent conversation, and Aoi barely uttered three words consistently back to back in a sentence. Harrowing prospects indeed. Not that they were the only likely candidates. Urd wasn't known as the Goddess of Love for nothing, a title she'd given herself. She had a laundry list of ladies she planned on interviewing to insure the greatest compatibility. It wouldn't do for the couple to start dating and have Naruto ruin it.

Pumping her fist, eyes lit in the fire of determination, Urd strode through the front door intent on making Naruto the most eligible bachelor in all of Konoha.

In another part of the village the young Uzumaki felt a shiver run down his spin and knew that wasn't a good sign.


When the silver-haired Jounin finally left them alone to do whatever the hell he did, Naruto was forced to face some simple truths. Sasuke didn't get any easier to handle after three straight hours with him. He didn't miraculously change personalities or become a better person after the academy. In Nartuo's less than humble opinion the dark-haired, wannabe teen idol was a grade A certified loon. That bit about his future dream of wanting to kill someone was all the evidence he needed.

And Sakura. He loved her, he really did, but he was having some serious doubts that she was all there mentally as well. As oblivious as he seemed during the meeting he noted the way she kept glancing at Konoha's number one jerk. The rosy tint in her cheeks and the giggle every time she and Sasuke accidentally locked eyes was hard to miss. Sending a prayer up he hoped she got a clue when Sasuke showed how deranged he was.

I guess wanting to spend your whole life trying to kill someone is cool nowadays. Missed the memo on that one.

His sensei. Nartuo could see there were going to be problems. Whatever the hell he was reading seemed interesting. Maybe a manual on how to make bagels that exploded on contact. Ninja's did stuff like that. Seeing beneath the underneath and all that phooey.

Shrugging the rest of his internal conversation away in indifference, Naruto found he was tired, sweaty, and hungry. Both Sasuke and Sakura had been giving him strange looks all morning and even the sensei of his was eyeing him. It didn't take a genius to know why.

Should he be proud that everyone was acknowledging him? He had a woman staying with him, the best looking one by far in the entire village from what he gathered, she was a powerful Goddess, and she was truthfully trying to make his life a little easier. Why then didn't he feel all that relieved or even grateful? There was a feeling, an emotion, gathering steam as it lay in his chest. When someone asked him about Urd, wanted to know their status, looked at him in small wonder or greater contempt it grew. She got him a new home, put clothing in his closet, made sure he didn't train himself into a coma and words failed to express how much that meant to him.

His resentment however was swiftly growing in strength. Not one person before Urd that came along could truly be called a friend. His classmates were just that, classmates. People he tried interacting with. He was someone they laughed and screamed at until it was their time to return home to their families. The random villagers and shinobi he encountered were no different. His classmates may not have hit him or called him a demon at every opportunity, but everything was relative in his mind. But now, now he was someone to talk to. Everyone wanted a piece of him and it wasn't because of anything he did. No practical joke or personal feat grabbed this kind of attention and he hated that fact. Heaving a weary sigh Naruto started toward home, stopping when Sasuke of all people spoke up.

"Where are you going, dobe?" The question sounding more like a demand. Typical Sasuke in other words.

Naruto was too tired to rise to the bait. "Home."

Sakura stood back, struggling with her own questions. Sasuke was right next to her. Though she was continually being shot down, today might be the day he finally agreed to let her walk with him. But there was Naruto. In his blue turtleneck shirt, black shorts, and imitation Chuunin vest he looked like another person entirely. Her curiosity was demanding she go with him and find out what was happening to him. Was this the work of that older woman?

Almost every female from their graduating class was on the case, but since she was on his team it was up to her to get the real facts. Her intellectual side was telling her that what she was doing was nonsense. There was no way Naruto was in any kind of relationship with anybody. The gossip, the little girl that was still growing in her, thought something else entirely.

Speaking only when it looked like Naruto was going to turn back around and leave, Sakura asked, "Umm, you don't mind me walking with you do you?"

Naruto and Sasuke looked at her as if she'd grown another head. Sasuke stood stunned that she wasn't trying to follow him like she did everyday in the academy. Naruto wore a similar expression, but it was for another reason totally.

'I can't believe this. She wants to walk with me and Sasuke is still standing there?'

A quick glance and he could still see his dark-haired teammate. The way his face was contorted was hilarious. It was so damn funny Naruto went and helped himself to a good old laugh at his mortal enemy's expense.

Growling, Sasuke turned on Naruto, his fist balled and glare heavy enough to melt stone if it was possible. "What the hell's so funny, dead last?"

Laughing harder than ever Naruto barely answered. "You."

That was enough to send the Uchiha into the red zone. Taking a menacing step forward, Sasuke pulled his fist back to destroy Naruto's face.

"Naruto-kun."

Three pair of eyes turned around to see a female female wearing a tan trench coat approaching. Her eyes regarded no one but Naruto and the slight snake like sway in her hips seemed to hypnotize the small group.

"I was wondering if you got a minute to spare."

"Yeah. Whad'ya want?"


Anko continued the leisurely walk through Konoha, easily ignoring the suspicious glare Naruto kept shooting at her. For the last ten minutes the two of them were making small talk, well more along the lines of her talking and him constantly looking at her as if waiting for a sudden attack. In their line of work being cautious was a good trait to have, and Naruto looked to suffer from borderline paranoia.

"If you can wait a while until I get my dango, you'll see."

His eyebrows lowered into what she thought was the cutest pout and she had no problems telling him that.

Naruto folded his arms and bellowed, "I'm not cute."

Only raising an eyebrow, Anko chuckled in wry amusement. "You do know how ridiculous you sound right?"

No matter how he postured otherwise, his face was redder than anything Anko could remember seeing. Anko spotted her favorite site and changed their trajectory to take them toward it while Naruto was busy getting over his embarrassment.

"Yo ossan. Give me the usual."

The old man gave a sardonic grin, not paying Naruto the least bit of attention and began working on Anko's favorite snack. Naruto, unused to anybody not reacting to him in some way, wondered if the man even knew who he was. Granted, Urd refused to let him out the house until he got rid of his favorite orange jumpsuit, but a change of clothes didn't make him that different.

"Don't think too hard about it." Anko shrugged. "Koto-san could care less if you were the reincarnation of Shodo the Ugly."

Turned around toward the grill the man said, "Don't worry kid. There is nothing you can do to scare me that Anko doesn't normally do. Just her showing up is ruining my business already."

Anko grabbed the closest thing to her and let it fly at a good clip. The object just happened to be a discarded drink mug Koto failed to pick up from his last customer. An interesting sequence of events unfolded that gave Naruto a glimpse of why the man hadn't even batted an eyelash. The clay cup smashed into his head, propelling him into overhead counter, which made him drop a stick of dango that he somehow managed to trip on, sending him flat on his back.

Stretching over the counter Anko easily plucked the treats she'd been waiting on and started munching happily. There was nothing Naruto could have said that would even begin to do justice to the scene. His only visible physical action was to blink in astonishment.

"Is he going to be okay?"

Anko airily waved her hand. "He'll be ok. Don't let his old looks fool you. Koto-san is a retired ANBU."

Naruto looked down at the man sprawled on the floor and wanted to think otherwise. The total disregard this woman next to him had about casual violence put Sakura to shame. That Yamanaka chick that everyone was so scared of didn't even come close.

Disregarding the man laying flat on the ground, Anko smiled as the taste rolled around her tongue, acknowledging Naruto with a grin that had him wondering if he was doing the right thing by talking to this woman.

"I came to you because I have a proposal."

Sadly Naruto had no idea what she was talking about. "A what?"

Rolling hers eyes and sighing Anko figured she had given the kid too much credit. "A proposal. I see that you have graduated the Academy. What I'm offering is for me to help train you."

Contrary to popular belief Naruto was not dumb, and nowhere near stupid. He may have lacked book sense, but being alone forced some of life's harshest lessons on him far earlier than any normal person would go through them. If he was good at anything, it was reading people. Words could be decorated and flowered up to mean anything a speaker wanted. But a person's eyes. Those were the objects that always revealed the truth.

When he was younger people use to give him gifts. So excited that someone actually wanted to do something nice to him for a change he never thought his packages would be booby-trapped or that his food would be poisoned. So he learned to look people in their eyes. Hate, distrust, anger. Those type of emotions weren't so easily hidden as people thought they were. And as he got older he got better and then it became a tool because he began using for himself. Looking into Anko's eyes Naruto couldn't see any of the well hidden malice a lot of shinobi held when talking to him. They were clear, easy for him to read and they sparkled with a hidden light of some source.

Eyeing the woman in surprise mixed with suspicion, a little excitement as well, Naruto asked, "Why? What do you get out of this?"

Anko's eyes glittered a split second, too quick for Naruto to pick up. "Simple. Right here, right now, you make a promise that at one time at a later date when I ask I'll have your help with a problem."

Naruto's eyes narrowed to slits. In Anko's opinion it looked anything but threatening. "You're not going to make me do anything like kill one of your friends or robbing people are you?"

Eyes wide as saucers, Anko struggled to keep her composure. Kill her friends? Robbing people? Who the hell did this kid think she was? The stories about her were probably well known but she wasn't some sort of criminal.

"Baka. Where the hell did you get that idea?"

Naruto had the decency to look sheepish for a minute, scratching the back of his head. "I don't know. Just had to make sure. The future Hokage can't do stuff like that."

Eyeing him with a measure of scrutiny that unnerved him somewhat, Anko started down a different track, more curious now. "You're really serious about that Hokage thing, huh?"

He looked at here like she'd grown two heads. "Of course. The Hokage is the most powerful ninja in the whole village. Everyone has to respect him because he's the best. When I become Hokage everyone will have to respect me."

He spoke with such conviction. He whole-heartedly believed that with that dream, if he accomplished that one goal, everything would be honky dory. Anko wondered if she should be the one to burst his bubble.

Swallowing another mouthful of the treat, she turned the stool toward him, making sure she had his full attention. "You haven't given me an answer but before you do let me give you a word of wisdom. This world is a big place, far bigger than you can imagine. The goal you have is a good one, but why limit yourself to such a small dream?"

Before Naruto started shouting his denials Anko's hand lashed out and closed around his mouth. "Let me finish. What you're shooting for is so small. This village is nothing but a speck in the world. People will live and die never knowing a Konoha ever existed. So why aim small. Don't be the best ninja of Konoha, don't aim for the best Hokage ever. You want respect. Why not become the most powerful warrior to ever walk this world. Let your name be known in every city, town, and village."

'Hook.'

Slowly removing her hand she smiled at the glossy look in Naruto's eyes. "You carry a heavy burden. One that very, very few can even begin to relate too. That is proof enough that you are bound for greater things."

Blinking, Naruto tried formulating a sentence, a retort that would get this woman to back down from her claims. Her words were there. Constantly trying to penetrate the many barriers he kept erect on the one thing, his pledge that kept him going for so long. If that were the only problem he would have left a long time ago, but he looked into her eyes and could see she believed every word she said. It was throwing him in a tailspin and he didn't know what to do.

"Do you believe that? You think I can be that good."

His question came out far softer than anything he'd ever said. But Anko never batted an eyelash. "I believe you could be the best shinobi this world has ever seen."

'Line.'

Leaning down so that their noses were bare centimeters apart, Anko's mahogany colored eyes met the startling ocean blue of Naruto's. "Let me help you train and I promise that you will reach heights you never knew existed."

The answer was in Naruto's eyes before he uttered a single word.

'Sinker.'


Reading through the questionnaire, Urd shook her head in disappointment. The great girlfriend search wasn't going over too well. There were a lot of young ladies that knew about Naruto but most of them only knew of him from second-hand knowledge from either their parents or rumors that were always spreading. Easy to see that their opinions didn't present Naruto in any good light.

Case and point. There were three girls sitting in front of her. Two of them hated Naruto's guts. When asked why their answer was that he was no good and goofy. Their parents said they didn't like him and told them to stay away from him, so like good little girls they listened. The third girl, Yamamoto Cho, was a different story entirely. Her parents didn't care for Naruto but they never uttered a word against him. Cho's sole reason for disliking Naruto was because she was another one of Sasuke's fanclub members and going out with Naruto would get her kicked out the club.

She had nothing against the Uchiha. He was good looking and she knew he was going to grow up into a devilishly handsome young man, but right now she really wished he lived some where else. This was the twelfth female to make that same remark.

Mentally groaning at the prospect of having to go through anymore of the list after so many failures, her attention was diverted when she looked up and found Naruto walking and talking animatedly to an older woman.

Noticing the direction of her gaze the girls she had previously been interviewing turned around and were stunned into disbelief, it was becoming a recurring theme when Uzumaki was involved.

"Is that Naruto?" one of them asked.

Blinking to make sure, Cho answered in a dazed whisper. "Yeah, that's him. You can't tell 'cause he's not wearing that loud orange anymore."

"Who is that he's walking with? It might be his new sensei."

"No, some guy named Kakashi is his sensei. Then that means…"

Three eyes turned back around to see what Urd was doing, but found only an empty seat in her place. Jerking back around toward Naruto they watched as Urd made her way toward the pair. They couldn't see her face, but the three girls imaginations provided all the ammunition they needed.

"Lovers quarrel."

"Definitely."

"I never knew Naruto was a playboy. And he's playing around with older women too."

"I think the other woman is trying to steal Urd-san's man."

Almost simultaneously, the three girls vowed to make sure the other girls knew about Naruto's scandalous situation. They remembered Ino saying something about going after Naruto. And Hinata, the poor girl could barely talk about him without blushing. Looking at the two women surrounding Naruto they wondered if their former classmates even stood a chance.


"I remember that Hokage painting trick. I didn't see what all the fuss was about. It looked pretty good from where I stayed."

Naruto reigned in the urge to gloat too much. He knew everyone else was making a big deal out of nothing and to see someone else share his opinion validated his claims. Who cared if it was just one person against the hundreds that stayed in Konoha.

"Yeah well," he started with a blush staining his cheeks, "I was going to stink bomb the school but decided something a little more daring."

"I'll say you did a pretty good job."

Naruto stopped mid step and looked behind him. "Urd-chan?"

Urd stood, one hip pointed to the side, hand resting along it and a smile that promised trouble was on her face; but her eyes were dead serious. She looked like a totally different person. "Naruto-kun, who's your new friend?"

He never got to answer.

"Mitarashi Anko. It's nice to meet you. Naruto's told me all about you."

Looking between the two women in confusion, Naruto wondered why the air was suddenly thickening around him. The hairs on the back of his neck were rising and his danger sense was telling him to run. Oblivious to why he should be high-tailing it out of the area he asked, "Do you two know each other?"

"No. I'm just curious about a few things." Urd waved off. "Like that very interesting aura surrounding your friend. Brings a few questions to mind."

Anko's face remained the blank slate but a small, almost imperceptible smile came to her lips. "I see… In that case I guess I was right to suspect something."

"WOULD YOU TWO TELL ME WHAT THE HELL"S GOING ON?" yelled Naruto, tired of not knowing what they were talking about.

Urd tried to get angry but she was a little too annoyed to get anything. His shout had drawn a crowd and she knew what she wanted to say wasn't fit for anyone to hear or know. Putting as much false cheer into her voice as possible she said, "We have to meet up soon to talk. How about tonight, at the Uemechii Bar, nine o'clock?"

Anko simply nodded, not bothering to add her two cents, but she was curious about one thing. "How did you see?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

Anko's answering smile was too bright to be considered anything good. "I guess not."


Urd picked up the small saucer and threw back the whole cup of sake effortlessly. She didn't want to admit it but she was a little apprehensive about the meeting and the easiest way to loosen up in her opinion was by enjoying a jug or two of the good stuff.

She heard the sound of footsteps coming closer and by the sound of it the person was very male. She'd been turning down pesky suitors for the past thirty minutes and it was getting tiring, especially the way some of the dumber ones kept railing against Naruto in hopes she'd miraculously jump into their arms. Honestly, what type of man would be jealous of a thirteen-year-old kid?

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" whoever bozo number ten was asked.

Not even bothering to look up she politely let him down as easily as possible. Something of a blessing considering how annoyed she was getting. "Actually it is. I'm waiting for someone."

Not taking the hint he decided to push a little further. "I don't think the kid's allowed out past curfew. So…"

"Didn't the woman say she didn't want to be bothered? I think that meant leave her the hell alone."

Urd turned toward the young shinobi's unlikely savior. Walking toward her spot in the back of the bar was her guest, Mitarashi Anko. Looking at the trench coat, skirt, and fishnet shirt combo Urd had to give the woman credit. She knew how to wear an outfit that would drop any hot-blooded male dead. But looking at the ash-faced ninja next to her it was becoming apparent that Anko was known for a totally different reason.

"Anko-san, I had no idea you were her guest," the man sputtered.

The smile on Anko's face was one hundred percent predator. With a light sway in her hips she approached the rapidly sweating shinobi. Leaning in close to whisper in his ear when he was too scared to move from his spot. "I tell you what big boy. You go run along and play with your little friends or else me and you are going to have some fun tonight." Giving him a small lick across his sweating neck she asked, "Do you want that?"

The sight of him tripping over chairs in his haste to escape Konoha's number one psycho was too funny for Urd not to laugh at. Pouring herself another cup she nodded at the unexpected help. "Maybe not the way I would have done it, but you can't argue with the results."

Shrugging in answer Anko took the open seat, shooting a glare at the other patrons that sent the whole room hurrying back to their own drinks. "I'm guessing since you called me here you saw my little performance the other night?"

"You could say that." Urd answered. "I shouldn't be, but I was surprised to discover a demoness living in the village."

Anko reached for the bottle and helped herself to a dish of sake. "I have a proposition. I ask a question, get an answer and you get the same privilege." The look on Urd's face was enough for Anko to get the gist of her thoughts. "I'm not just going to sit here and go through with an interrogation. Seeing as how neither one of us is able to force the issue, this is the best way to amicably go about this."

Her reasoning was sound. If things did get out of hand there would be trouble on both ends. Whoever this woman was, she held the home field advantage. Going undercover as one of the village's shinobi gave her a considerable edge when it came to protection. Being that she was a Goddess, as easy as it would be to destroy them all if it came to that she couldn't commit such a crime. The Almighty looked down on stuff like that apparently.

Grudgingly admitting a short truce Urd started off the questioning with a simple, "Who are you?"

Taking a demure sip of the alcohol that seemed so out of character for the woman Anko introduced her real self. "I must say it's a pleasure to meet you in person Urd, the estranged daughter of Hild-sama. As for myself, I am known as Morrigan Aensland, daughter of Belial and ruler of the Western cone of Nifleheim," she finished with a coy smirk.

The sake in Urd's throat suddenly began to taste like ash, and the only reaction she could think of doing was to gape at the woman across from her.


She raised her head for a split second to look outside and that's when she saw her. Briefly noting Naruto at her side, the woman Naruto was walking with may have appeared normal to everyone else in this village but to Urd she had an aura surrounding her that screamed of Nifleheims influence. A swirl of dark colors, reds, blacks, dark blues, and deep purples swam around her presence and Urd struggled with the thought of her walking around plain as day. Before she knew what she was doing, Urd was up out her seat and making her way toward the pair.

"So what are you doing here?" Urd decided to ask after composing herself. More than a little curious as to why someone of Morrigan's rather sordid reputation would bother coming to this place.

A slight shrugging of her shoulders, Morrigan easily answered. "I'm escaping from the various suitors and responsibilities in my world."

The sake went down the wrong pipe and Urd chocked on the precious liquid. Staring at the other woman as if she were crazy, she blinked and rubbed her ears, sure she heard the wrong thing. "Huh?"

Morrigan fixed Urd with a bored stare. "You're a very beautiful woman Urd. I know you know what it's like having to deal with suitors that you would like to do nothing more than douse their very souls in the pits of Hell. And my realm can become hideously tedious sometimes." Namely one Demitri Maximov and his repeated attempts at forcing a union between the two of them. Honestly, that man just never learned.

A large sweat drop appeared on the back of Urd's head. Unfortunately she could understand, fortunately she never got to the removing souls point. Shooting back another saucer Urd said, "I can understand somewhat. I don't think coming here would make such a difference." Her own experiences told her that. She was in the upper fifty's in letdowns and it's only been two days.

"As you can see, I've created quite the persona. Only the foolish and desperate come around and they don't hang around long. That helps a lot considering my nature." Morrigan smiled, her true persona flashing in her eyes for a split second. Enough time for Urd to catch the barest hint of her power.

"You're a succubus."

A nod. "Correct. The strongest of my kind." Morrigan pointed out.

Silence descended for several odd seconds with Urd processing the information, before Morrigan voiced a question of her own. "The Kyuubi child. You are here for him?"

Urd wasn't going to answer but remembered their short-term agreement. "Yeah. Somehow it was deemed acceptable to grant him a wish."

"Interesting." There was a dangerous sparkle in Morrigan's eye when she asked, "What did he wish for?"

Smirking behind her saucer Urd waved away the question. "That I can't tell you. Goddess-Client confidentiality and all that baloney."

"So where is he now?" Morrigan asked.

Urd growled into the empty bottle. Raising her hand to signal for another one. "Training I think. Kids never had a real house and soon as I get him one he goes and tries to destroy the yard."

"I would think with his test approaching tomorrow he would be resting."

Urd shook her head at that. "He probably doesn't even know what exhausted means. It won't bother him tomorrow."

"What were you talking to Naruto about earlier?" He seemed like a different person. Not in the extreme sense, but he came home and went straight to work in the yard with barely a hello.

"Simple, I have agreed to tutor him somewhat in his training."

That did not sit well with her. Urd didn't know the woman personally, but by all accounts the reports on Morrigan had shown that she'd never been one for violence. She got her jollies by sucking the souls out of her victims and storing that same energy. Tragic and terrible that someone would die just to keep her sustained, but her crimes were a lot less eye catching than many of her peers.

That didn't make her any less of a threat. From the little that Urd knew, Morrigan was a scary, powerful demon. Supposedly surpassing her in raw power.

Morrigan could see the concern and idly debated whether she should leave the Goddess in a sea of confusion. "To quell your worries we did make a contract. It has nothing to do with his life or soul. The power he wields prevents me from even trying such an action, but we have come to an agreement."

"And that is?" Urd asked, not liking the dangerous turn of events.

Morrigan's smile was sharp enough to cut glass. "That my dear I can't say. Demon-Client confidentiality and all that."

Despite the seriousness of the situation Urd couldn't help but laugh. "Touché."

Morrigan silently looked into her cup. It was her turn now but she really didn't have a question at the moment. Urd didn't seem like one of those berserker evangelist angels she ran into sometimes, but you never know. Sometimes it took the slightest provocation and then weapons were drawn.

"What do you think of him?"

Urd was totally lost for a second. "Who?"

"The young Uzumaki," Morrigan clarified.

"That's a loaded question." Leaning back into her seat Urd slumped down a bit to get comfortable. The posture was so unlike her that Skuld would have had a fit. "Not because of anything too heavy, the kids just thirteen, but I care about him a lot. His well meaning is my first priority. It's why I'm skeptical of you."

Morrigan nodded, expecting as much. "Fear not. The boy is far too powerful even in his untrained state to dally foolishly with. He would not only bring harm to himself in the state he's in now."

"True, but that doesn't explain why you're doing this."

Morrigan gave a wink after swallowing another saucer of drink. "That is between me and Naruto-kun."

Urd frowned at the familiar usage of Naruto's name but remained silent. There were other questions she wanted to ask but those could wait. She had a question that had been on the tip of her tongue for awhile and it needed asking. The ball back in her court Urd asked, "That body, why use her? You could have simply come down as yourself and hid just as well."

"True," Morrigan nodded. "But it is far simpler this way." At Urd's inquisitive look Morrigan began to elaborate. "The Mitarashi Anko they know or use to know is dead." Eyes glazing over Morrigan continued talking in the same seductive tone. "When Orochimaru gave the young woman that curse seal of his it had some adverse reactions. Instead of just eating away at her chakra when it activated and reforming her, the disease began eroding away at her insides, very similar to a form of cancer. Though they managed to repress the seal to a manageable level in due time, without the proper medical foresight the girl never knew it was killing her in the inside. On one of my excursions through this realm I found her on her death bed, vainly trying to hold onto life and try as I might there was no way to save her."

Taking another drink Morrigan soothed her dry throat. "We talked for some time that night and I learned her one wish was to destroy Orochimaru. A simple wish to grant really in the long run so I agreed. The contract was signed and sealed, I took her soul in as a part of myself and I began to use the visage of her earthly form for the time it would take me to complete her wish, however long that takes." Morrigan finished with a grin.

At that moment you could have shoved Urd over with a whistle. If there was ever a reason to be weary of demons and any of their ilk it was this very example. Never mind how brilliant the plan of hers had been. The whole story could be compared to the sort of shark-eyed planning her mother was known for. Pulling herself together Urd warily examined the woman before her. If not for her overhearing the conversation she had with Naruto she would have never pinpointed the woman unless there was direct confrontation involved. Her illusion was just that good.

"How were you even allowed to grant the contract," Urd asked mystified.

"Uh-uh." Morrigan waved a finger. "No more from me. I get to ask you something."

Finger on the tip of her chin Urd was starting to see the difference. Where Anko was presumed to be some sort of borderline psychopath who no one in this village willingly confronted, Morrigan, as all succubus were, radiated this sexual tension that fairly leaked from her aura and movements. During the conversation Urd was seeing more of her true persona steadily coming forth, blanketing the area. Given Urd herself was never considered a prude, believing in more of an open mind about some things, the effects were becoming a little hard to ignore.

Morrigan asked, "Why haven't you tried getting employed to do this ninja stuff? You could have easily had your superiors craft you a background."

Urd. Work. The horror of it all snapped her out of the sensual fog that was surrounding her. "I'm allergic to it. Working too much makes me break out in hives."

Morrigan blink-blinked, at a loss of what to say. Urd simply reached over and grabbed the bottle, relieving it from the succubus's hands. Maybe she ought to get home. When the numbers of jugs they drank were forgotten, that normally meant it was a good time to leave before she ended up spooned to someone she didn't know. That was the last thing she needed with the way Naruto was carrying on.

"I guess it's my turn again. Nobody says a word about you being down here? You are royalty so they're probably having a fit looking for you," Urd stated behind another drink.

Morrigan leaned her head against her open left palm. "Of course they had a fit, but nothing could be done about it. Similar to Yggdrasil, once Nidheg processes an order there is little beyond the end of all creation that could be done to stop it."

Despite what she should be feeling Urd had to admire the woman's tenacity. "You're a sneaky little devil." Urd chuckled.

Showing a hint of fang while smiling, Morrigan saluted the Goddess across from her. "I've never been one to let little things like rules get in my way."

"Please don't say that," Urd mumbled, right hand massaging her temples. "You sound too much like these bozos walking around here tonight."

Laughing at the grumbling Goddess Anko shrugged her shoulders. "Men, that's pretty much the only thing they're good for. Of course I don't complain. They keep me happily sated."

Urd raised an elegant eyebrow, her face morphing into a lecherous grin "Come on girl. Dish the dirt. Who's the stud around here?"

Morrigan didn't bother holding back her giggle. The unexplained sound almost clearing out the entire bar. "Well… there's Genma. Boy is he…

Needless to say, the rest of that conversation would be better left to their ears alone.


Thanks to JohnnyG for pre-reading this. It's sad to say, but my fourth grade spelling bee championship ribbon isn't too helpful when I read over my own work.

AN: My brother pointed out this thing is kinda plotless right now and that's good. I'm trying to focus on the daily insanity for awhile. Before Naruto leaves for the Wave Country he'll have a week or two of the most insane antics ever to hit Konoha falling on him.

Why Morrigan? A lot went into this. My first reason was because I loved her character. I've played the games, got the comics and the OVA. She's smart, intelligent, sexy, and is royalty to boot. Let's not forget the maybe hundreds of people out to kill her, namely one muscle bound vampire. Excellent starting points for any woman trying to help complicate Naruto's life all the more.

Another point is because I wanted someone other than Mara. I love her character and her relationship with Urd. But there is no way she could coexist with Urd for longer than a few days. Hild's got her claws in her too well. A plus is that although she's a demon Morrigan isn't necessarily evil. She's got her habits but you don't have to worry about her sticking a Chidori into her teammates chest. Bada Bang. LOL.

On an completely unrelated note, just go through beating Resident Evil 4 for PS2. Greatest game I've ever played in my life. It puts half the movies that are out now to shame. If you have the time and patience try it out. You will not be disappointed.

My new favorite anime character. Monkey D. Luffy. He may seem like he's a moron but you screw with his nakama and that's it. You might as well call the coroner or get ready for a mighty high doctor bill. I'm just now getting into One Piece so I'm kind late but I love the show. No relationship overtones whatsoever, just pure comedy, a little angst thrown in every now and then, and a dream. Great show.