I know this story is in some major need of a back ground, but I promise you that I will get there. I promise there will be some chapter's dedicated solely on reveiling the background between Annie and the Cullens. If there's anything you'd like to be explained just let me know and I'll incorperate it into the story!!!
Change
I parked in my usual spot, glad that all the stares had diminished. My Jeep drew attention, just as much as I did. It had been two months since the Cullens left. At first everyone gaped at me as I parked my new car, which still looked lavish draped in the mud from the reservation, compared to the other cars in the parking lot. I walked to class alone most of the time, unless zombie Bella was around to pretend to talk to, but I think that made me look almost as pathetic as she did. Even Jessica avoided me the first few days, giving her enough time to spread the gossip before actually asking me what happened.
Bella didn't help my cause at all. She just walked around, oblivious to everything. Charlie finally let me see her after a month of silence. I think he needed someone to talk to since Bella had gone mute. I didn't mind. Going to their house was the only normal I had left in my life. I liked to pretend that I was just there to study and at the end of the night I could go home and curl up in my big canopy bed at home. Unfortunately, the second I started my engine I knew I was going to be sleeping restlessly in the Black's small home.
The day went on as usual, Bella walking along side me. My classes were too easy, seeing as how I had nothing better to do now than study. I let my mind wonder all over the world, building these fantastic images. Alice and Jasper traveling to Milan for a shopping trip, she always said they had the best silk dresses. Rosalie and Emmett were probably taking a second, or technically fifth, honeymoon. They were happy, I knew. Carlisle had called the first week, I hadn't answered, to tell me he was teaching at a university in the east. He was most likely happy too. Matt and Edward were probably off traveling the globe, like the two musketeers. Forgetting about me and definitely forgetting about Bella.
The seat behind me was empty, and the space made the tiny history class seem smaller. He sat there. If I started daydreaming or falling asleep, he'd run a cold finger down my neck. I snapped the pencil I was holding. Thinking of them infuriated me.
"Annie, just relax. Everything's fine, I don't know why you always jump to conclusions." Matte told me while I was doing some homework at the kitchen table. I was concerned with the way he'd been acting with Bella. "Just worry about school, there's nothing going on." He kissed my forehead before disappearing into the garage, were all the other boys were. I really did believe him then. I relaxed and focused on school, and then they left without a sound, without taking anything, without saying goodbye, without me.
"Annie," I heard Jessica call to me. Everyone was making their way to lunch, but I was too angry. I knew it would be easier if I just left. Suddenly, I was furious. It wasn't just the past few months, but with my entire life in general. I hated the girl that I was and I hated what I had let myself be reduced to. I knew Bella wouldn't miss me, and everyone else probably didn't care what I did. I wasn't the same friend they had last year.
I sped back to La Push after picking up some things at a convenience store. Billy was at home, but I needed a girl's help. I parked in front of the Clearwater's house. I knocked, glad that it was Leah who answered. She had been really nice to me while I was staying at Billy's. She was like my substitute sister, and she was someone that didn't know the full extent of my life, which was refreshing here.
"Leah, do you mind helping me with some things?" She smiled, letting me into the empty house.
We were sitting in silence, in her chilly bathroom. She moved expertly with the scissors. My curls fell limply to the floor losing all their bounce as she severed them. Tears fell along with every strand. This might have been my decision, but it wasn't what I wanted to do. It was the principle of everything that I stood for. I was independent and free. No one could tell me what to do with my life. No one could force me to do something I didn't want to do. I needed to remind myself of that girl that found a reason to laugh and smile no matter what was happening to her.
"Don't ever cut your hair…" Edward's voice rang beautifully in my ears. We were alone in the living room, something that was rare in our house. I was wrapped tightly in a blanket and tucked delicately against his hard chest. He ran a hand through my dark elbow length curls.
"Matt had the same color thought, I'm thinking about changing it…"
"No," he growled lowly, pulling me tighter against him chest. "I prefer brunettes." I twisted in his arms, a smile on my face.
"No changing then," I said as I gazed into his warm honey eyes. The stare he fixed me with warmed me more than the blanket ever could.
"I want you like this forever." I leaned up to kiss him, glad that he was just as eager to meet my lips.
"What do you think?" Leah's voice cut through my thoughts, pulling me back to my depressing life. She looked at my face, blotchy from the silent sobs that had run through my body unnoticed. "You don't like it? I tried to keep it long, but still make it look a little…"
Her voice died out as I ran a hand through my hair. My curls were gone, just like I'd asked her to do. My chestnut locks were now a modest honey blonde, just dark enough to still be blonde, but not light enough to look like a Hollywood tramp. She had layered it expertly to my shoulders, adding sweeping bangs coming across my face to the right. Leah had insisted on straightening the curls with a hot iron, something I had never had the patience for before today. My hand glided over the smooth texture of my new tresses. Tears were still falling silently down my face.
"It's a change." The defiance in my tone was lost on her, but I knew what I was doing. I had changed like the Cullens couldn't. I liked the feeling of doing something that I wanted to do. I had blindly obeyed Matt, Carlisle, everyone, for so long that I needed a little teenage rebellion. I felt my anger subside and my tears dry up. A small smile broke out at the corners of my lips.
"For what it's worth, I think it looks great." Leah said cautiously as she began to clean up the mess we'd made with the dye and cutting.
"I know, you did an amazing job, thanks."
I spent the rest of the day sitting on Billy's couch. I had gone back to my house in the first month and taken a few things out of my room. One such thing being a box Rosalie and Esme kept everything from my baby blanket to my last report card. They wanted proof that I was accomplishing things they couldn't and that they raised me well. I found photo album, a journal, and home videos. All reminders of the life I would probably never have again.
The pictures were mostly of me as an infant. I was either being held or playing with some toy with an intense state of concentration. It amazed me at the perfect images, I was tiny and unaware, while they were no different from the last memory I had of them. The journal was something I'd never seen before. The pages were yellowed with age and the binding was coming loose. I flipped to a random page and began to read.
Rosalie held Annie in her arms through the night. I brought her home only hours before, and the little girl fell asleep as soon as she was in her arms. She's small for her age, but I think Rosalie and Esme prefer her that way.
I recognized the hand writing immediately. Carlisle had been keeping a journal on me when I was a baby. As I thought about it, I understood his reasoning. He was a doctor after all, and he wanted to make sure he missed nothing of importance. I flipped a little farther into its pages.
Matthew and Edward came home finally. I thought they weren't going to come back at all. Annie had no idea who her brother is, which I think is a little upsetting to him. She's taken a liking to Emmett, calling him brother now, which seems to be a realistic choice considering he is the only other male figure she's really come in contact with. Jasper has been keeping his distance which is wise of him. I hope Matthew can regain his role in her life. He's the only real family she's got. My only fear now is the years to come. I don't want to expose her to what we really are…
I shut the book, throwing it carelessly back into the box. I had no family anymore. I put in some of the tapes next, knowing they were only going to make the sadness more prominent, but I had to do this. I needed the closure I was hoping they'd give.
I liked the images of me as a toddler running around with Emmett hot on my heels. There were some of Esme or Rosalie feeding me. They seemed so normal. The images of a happy family wanting to document the development of their infant growing into a young woman were all too normal for the Cullens in my mind. There were some videos of things I hadn't realized were being taped. It amazed me at how happy I was as a ten year old jumping around on Christmas morning, and the smile I had at my sixteenth birthday when Emmett was teaching me to drive. If anyone had seen these and not known what was lying hidden in the corner, it would almost seem like I was raised like a normal happy child.
"You miss them?" Billy's voice boomed over the low volume of Alice's laughter.
"No so much anymore. I'm moving on," I said as I stopped the tape. The box was hidden under my bed from that day on. A silent reminded of what I lost, but a place to go when I was ready to remember what I had to make me who I was now.
