Count the references! Save, collect, trade for swell prizes!
Man, these chapter turn shorter and shorter. Chapter 4 will be longer, I promise!
And as always, you are my betas! Report any plot, logic, grammar and spelling errors via review or PM!
Why am I still talking, this isn't the author's notes!
Chapter 3: Lies, damn lies, but no statistics.
"[…] That's an important point you bring up there. You see, the moment of instant clarity that main characters have is one of the most powerful scenes authors can write, however it is important not to mess up. If a character employs unreliable narration in a first person story, because they are lying or worse- because they just don't know- it is required to have clarity past this moment. The truth has to be distinguishable from the lies. Of course, this only applies to lies directly spoken to the reader by the narrator…"
-Kyousuke Tadamichi, from an Interview with Rena Mizunashi published on sosbrigadedotnet
It was when I say her eyes.
Those eyes.
Those were his eyes.
Yes.
I understood.
I was no slider. This wasn't an alternative universe or something.
This was the past.
Why didn't I realise it right away? I mean, I should have. Then why did my brain insist I was a slider and not a time-traveller, with all these clues? Why did I look him in the face and saw someone who was not him? And I introduced myself to him as Kori… Shit... Would Jane Smith have been better?
Haruhi Suzumiya was standing right before me. Before you ask how I know her name, Hikaru had told me a little about his mother. You must understand that I am talking to you as if I was talking to you right there and then, but sometimes my adult me has to insert herself and give supplemental info, otherwise I don't think it'd be as understandable as it is at the moment.
Anyway, she was now standing before me, looking at me with excited eyes. She was smiling in a way that someone would consider 'manic glee'. What I said about her emitting an aura that made clear she was the boss? You could see it written on her face and on the armband she wore.
"So you're Kyon's cousin.", she said, examining me from top to toes.
Kyon. Papa. Whatever I am supposed to call you. Was there literally no better cover you could come up with?
I tried to look over to Kyon, but when I saw him, I didn't see his face. I saw Papa's face. Kyon was my father. It was a miracle I haven't realized that, but just because something is a miracle doesn't mean it's good. I was caught up in a time that is even before my birth, even before he met Mama. This much was clear, but it was only that moment that I fully realised that how similar he looked like his adult self. You'd only need to remove that beard of his and you'd get teenage Kyon.
Kyon looked at me with eyes the size of a Reichsflugscheibe at me and formed some words with his mouth. I didn't need to see them to understand what he wanted.
"Please play along." was his message.
Kyon, as I will refer to your younger self, I already have some experience with bullshitting, and it is me that is caught here, so I will happily play along.
"Yes. Nice to meet you. You are?" I asked in my most ass-kissing voice.
She turned to look at Kyon, and then pranced herself in front of me.
"I am Suzumiya Haruhi, the founder and leader of the SOS Brigade. This is our clubroom and these people are my club members. Have they already introduced themselves to you?"
SOS Brigade. So, that's how it is…
Not really, I told her. They have told me their names, but I suppose the brigade chief could introduce them to me and give me her impression of them.
The smile I wore in that moment was even more fake then Koizumi's.
"Of course" she declared with an overly excited tone and went to the other side of the room to Yuki.
"This is Yuki. She is the president of the literature club, so most of the time she just sits here and reads. She is still an important member of the brigade. You may think she's not here at all, but suddenly when you are asking hger about something, she just spews out her knowledge and you just feel really stupid."
I felt impressed and unsurprised. She seemed like Hyou-chan with a less emotion. She was not paying attention to us, but rather read the book she had lying on her lap. "Mirror Dreams" read the cover. I didn't recognise the name.
"This is Koizumi-kun, my loyal second-in-command. He is a very reliable and helps us whenever we are in need. For example he provided a mansion for our summer and winter vacation murder mysteries."
"Suzumiya-san, you're flattering me." Koizumi said.
She then went over to Mikuru and held her at her shoulders. She was a bit too near for me, but if Mikuru doesn't complain, I don't think someone like me needs to interfere.
"And this is Mikuru-chan. She is the brigade's mascot! Look at her, she is so cute you can't resist. And daily she serves us her finest tea in her maid outf-"
Suddenly Haruhi cut herself off and looked at Mikuru from the right, then the left, then from above.
"Mikuru-chan! Why are you not wearing your maid outfit?"
Mikuru flinched and tried to form a reply. "I-I was un-unconfortable changing around h-her."
The irritation left her face faster than whatever, I'm tired of these comparisons.
"Good thinking Mikuru-chan! If you had already changed, she would have seen it. So let's change you now"
Mikuru couldn't even begin to form a "what" before she was groped by Haruhi. Though I am a female too, I averted my eyes. I don't want see someone with so big boobs, it hurts my confidence.
"You boys! Out there!" Haruhi commanded them, then she pointed at me. "You too! You mustn't ruin the surprise!"
I instantly turned around, and waited for Kyon and Koizumi to exit the room before I followed them and leaned on the, now closed, door. Koizumi was standing right of me, Kyon was on the left. They both eyed me, before Koizumi finally asked his question.
"So, who are you?"
My name is Kori.
He blinked a few times, then asked "Is that supposed to be a nickname… like 'Kyon'?"
Yes. I don't like my real name, so please don't ask for it.
Koizumi's smile had vanished, but it wasn't replaced my utter seriousness, but rather it's that he went from grinning to being genuinely curious.
"That wasn't my question. I was asking who you are, a name alone wouldn't suffice."
Kyon, explain to him what you know.
"Why me- .." he began, then he accepted my command. That's my mother's genes at work. "Okay, I guess." he pushed himself from the wall. so he was directly facing Koizumi.
"Let me give you a brief explanation. Today I woke up and she laid beside me, exactly as you see her now. Then she panicked, jumped out of my window, searched for people who do not exist and at the end she came back to me, because I was the only one that could help her. That's about it."
"In your bed…?" now Koizumi seemed surprised, then he stepped over to Kyon, leaned next to him and whispered, a little too loud ,"Was she fully clothed?".
"Of course. I said 'exactly as you see her now'. You know, I don't think I've dared to say this before, but it's exactly this shit that let's people think you're gay."
Now, I don't think I'll have to continue to describe Koizumi's reactions, because it would just be "surprised" and "curious" back and forth.
"You think I am gay?"
"I don't, but people will get the wrong idea when you do it. Just like with Haruhi being called my girlfriend."
Now that's some interesting piece information right there. My Papa and Hikaru's Mama. Were they once so close, that he had to purposefully deny it? Or was there really no relationship? Because he told me that he had a girlfriend in University, but could have that been Haruhi Suzumiya or someone else?
"Oh, I am sorry. I didn't realize you were bothered by this." Koizumi found his grin back, stepped back to his side and eyed somewhere out of the window. "Besides, how can I be gay if I have a girlfriend?"
"…Koizumi was that sarcasm just now? You're evolving from a grinning kiss-ass to a grinning me." Kyon deadpanned before he realized what Koizumi had actually said.
"You have a girlfriend?" I finally chimed in. Well, I shouldn't be surprised, he DID look good. "Who is she?"
"That I'd like to know as well." Kyon spoke after a second of astonishment.
"Oh, I think you know her. You two met some time ago, didn't you?"
"Well in the last months I only met…" Kyon counted on his fingers, first one, then two, then three, then he stopped. "Don't tell me… Tachibana Kyoko?!"
"You guessed right."
"Why am I not surprised?…" He muttered "Is that the reason why you look so happy lately? Because you finally have a girl you can share your secrets with?"
"Yes, Kyoko-chan and I are indeed very close. We have so much in common, she is the only one who can feel how it is to be me…"
Ever since hearing the name Kyoko Tachibana I fell some sort of trance. Memories from that time came back to me until I muttered a single name. Actually it shouldn't have surprised me at all.
"Koizumi Kyoko…"
"Hmm, Kori, did you say something, ?" Kyon asked moving his eyes from Koizumi to me.
"Did she? I heard nothing…" Koizumi remarked and too moved his look to me.
Yes, me, a little louder so you can break time even more than you already did.
Suddenly I snapped out, looked Kyon then Koizumi. "Well…" I said, and-
"We're done!"
I fell back first to the ground, as the door behind was forcefully opened. Twice in one day, please don't let that turn into a running gag.
"I should've warned her." Kyon facepalmed. "Come up." he said as he held his hand towards me.
I took it and pulled myself up again, before I turned around.
Mikuru was now standing in a maid outfit that, I admit, looked very cute on her. She was blushing a little bit stepped forwards and asked
"How do you like it?"
Is looks very nice. I like it, was what I wanted to say, but I was interrupted.
"Is that new?" Kyon asked from behind me.
No, washed with Fewa for wool.
"Yes it is." Mikuru confirmed.
"I specifically bought it for the anniversary of the SOS Brigade and today is the great unveiling." Haruhi exclaimed proudly. "Doesn't it look awesome?!"
"I admit, you look like an angel." Kyon muttered and blushed a little.
"I think I can't form it into words. It's wonderful." Koizumi said, having found his grin back.
I couldn't keep up with it, and wanted to sit down on a chair, but Haruhi grabbed my shoulder and hold me. "Don't you think so too…"
She suddenly stopped. She squeezed my shoulder lightly, then my other one, then the clothing at my hips.
"Haruhi, what are you doing?"
Are they that close, that he calls her without honorific? In my time these pretty much went into unpopular for friends addressing each other, but this is the past, honorifics are still serious business.
"That's fake!"
"What's fake", I thought, and Kyon spoke out loud.
"Your uniform. It's fake."
"What are you saying? Wha-eh, How are you even able to tell that? It looks perfectly fine to me."
"Well, Kyon, if you had to wear this sailor outfit everyday you would be able to tell it easily. It feel a lotta different from mine. It's probably made of articial fibers as opposed to the cotton we use."
Well, my conclusion is that between now and my time they changed the properties of the uniform without changing the design. And these aren't artifical, by the way, they are 100% biodegradable. The only way they feel different is because they are from a different source.
"Well, would you mind explaining to me, why you have a fake uniform?"
Kyon interrupted me before I could have said something.
"As I have mentioned, during our Golden Week vacation at my aunt's place in Shirakawa, Kori and I have been talking about you, and apparently she was so eager to meet you, she made her own Kitago uniform from scratch, just so that she could enter the school on a school day and meet you like the Sempai you are to her."
Idiot! Don't give her any ideas! I don't want to play the swooning Haruhi fangirl kouhai for the next… time. Who knows how long I'll stay here.
"Oh... then stand there, Kori, and listen. For the brave task of creating your own uniform and sneaking into Kitago to meet me, you will get a prize!"
What kind of prize?
"I will give a detailed explanation of all the adventures and accomplishments of the SOS Brigades!"
"What kind of price is this?! You did that to the first-years for free."
"Oh, this one will be much more detailed. And this time not just me, but all of you will tell it. I'll be the main, and when you see it fit, give me your comments. I may be the leader, but a brigade is nothing without its lower members."
And while I looked at Haruhi, in the corner of my eye, I could see Kyon making an astonished face, which was then replaced my a light smile.
The history of the SOS is one that you should know about, given that you probably are here thinking this is Book 12. Let me tell you, it's not. Papa is working on Book 12, we promise. But in the time between the end of his last book, that was some when early April or so, the following happened to the SOS Brigade.
"Then after Watahashi Yasumi had to leave us, we prepared our slide show for Tsuruya-san's blossom viewing party!"
"And didn't get into any trouble, because everyone was too busy laughing. "
"That was what we were aiming for, Kyon! We entertained all of them the SOS Brigade way!"
"That's a scary way!"
I imagined normally way to serious businessmen laughing their asses of because of this group, and by Madoka, I couldn't find a thing wrong with it. That's glorious.
"After that things slowed down a bit. We're still pretty busy, but in a more domestic sense."
Where did that sudden change come from? From her declaration before, things were never quiet.
"Yesterday I flushed out our radiator." Kyon mentioned.
Lovely, Kyon, but no one will get that reference.
"But now that you're here, things will get exciting again." Haruhi said with a grin that showed more happiness than glee.
Oh, thank you. I didn't realise I was so important. I'll make sure to live up to your expectation
Suddenly, a melody played from someone's cell phone. It was a melody I knew.
"KISS, KISS, FALL IN LOVE"
Dear Hikaru, it was that song. One Haruhi wasn't enough for her.
"Oh, it's already time! Sorry, everyone, I have to go!"
Apparently it was Haruhi's cell phone, but from the fact that she just looked at it and then closed it, it was clear it was just her alarm and not someone calling her.
She picked out her schoolbag and other stuff, then left the room as fast as Google Fiber takes to download a set of BluRays.
That is to say, not to slow to think you are stalling, but not fast enough to think you are running
"We'll meet tomorrow at 9AM at Kitaguchi Station for another mystery hunt! Until then!" were her last words, then she closed the door and was gone.
About five minutes or so were spent just staring at each other, and I tried to ingest the history I just got told. Flyers, Baseball, a client searching for her not real boyfriend, Tanabata festival, a Remote Island Mystery, the making of an awful, awful, movie, (I had to watch it completely!), singing on stage, the Computer club Challenge, Kyon having a little accident and ending up in the hospital for three days, (Which actually scared me a bit), a winter murder mystery, Setsubun, the rescue of the Literature club and Yoshimi Sakanaka's dog, and finally Yasumi Watahashi, the middle school girl who stole her big sister's uniform to enter the SOS Brigade.
"Yare, yare" Kyon suddenly muttered.
Lovely. He really IS Papa.
"How convenient, that she has to go just when she is finished." Koizumi broke the silence
"If you say anything about her subconsciousness causing this, I'll punch you."
Subconsciousness? Could you explain it that to me?
"Eh…" Koizumi was taken aback. "Maybe telling you would not be that bad after all. You see when Suzumiya-san introduced herself one year ago, she wished for 'aliens, people from the future, sliders, and espers.' "
Kyon chimed in. "Let me make it brief. Haruhi is God so when she wished for it, she gathered us. Nagato is an alien. Asahina-san is a person from the future. Koizumi is a person with extraordinary powers, but we call him an ESPer because it's shorter, and you, Kori, would be the slider. I am maybe the only 100% human here."
God?
"It is easier to say she holds the power of a god, but none of us actually know what the true nature of her powers are." Koizumi explained
Ah, okay. What was that about me being slider?
"You said so yourself, didn't you?"
Yes. I did. But that was before I realized the truth.
"So, that's interesting, the fact that you come from another world. How was it there?"
"Pretty normal compared to this one" I offered after a second of thought. I must not make any mistake. I must not tell them it was poison, because they never said it was poison. "Can you explain more of this world to me?"
"Well, four years, something happened. We don't know what it is. Nagato calls it an data explosion, Asahina-san a timequake, and Koizumi's organization got their powers that day. All they know is that it was Haruhi that did it. However, there are others. Other Aliens, other time travelers, other esper organizations. They believe that not Haruhi but someone else originally had these powers. Tachibana Kyoko originally belonged to this esper organization, but she deflected. Apparently she wasn't okay with what was happening, and now she is more of a normal girl."
Reminds me an awful lot of that person.
"And additionally she gives me information we can use in case of an emergency. But enough about Kyoko-chan, my organization will be surprised to hear that a slider has appeared. Asahina-san, Nagato-san, yours are already aware of her, right?" Koizumi completed.
Mikuru, until this second too busy with making new tea, as we had finished all pre-made during Haruhi's endless story. "I'm sorry, I told you everything I know. The rest is classified."
Kyon sighed. "That shouldn't be surprising. Nagato?"
Yuki nodded.
"Can you tell what you think of her?"
Oh, shit. If I remember right, then she…
"The Integrated Data Sentience Entity has not come to a conclusion about her. I cannot make a valid statement on this matter." Yuki spoke without raising her head from her book.
Thank you, Yuki.
"I was asking of you, not the IDSE."
"I will not let her be harmed."
"That's also not what I was asking."
Kyon, it's okay. If she doesn't want to tell now, then let her be.
He sighed again. "Okay. But, we can use your home to let her sleep, right? I don't think having a girl at my home would be healthy. Mom is pretty strict."
Yuki nodded. Well, that was settled. Now my next issue is to find out how I can prevent Kyon from finding out I'm his daughter.
"Kori, are you okay with that?"
"What, eh, sure…" I forced a smile on my face. I'm so sorry, Papa.
"Don't drift off like this." he worried.
"Oh sorry." I tried to apologize, but I doubted he'd buy it. He'll be suspicious of me, I knew that.
"Anyway, it is already late. Do you think we can discuss more about us and Kori-san tomorrow?" Koizumi said. "When we have the mystery tour. Or maybe at some other point."
"Sure, are you okay with it, Kori?"
Of course. It will give just enough time to think of a good lie.
"Good. If you excuse me now, I have some calls to make." These were Itsuki Koizumi last words, before he packed his bag and left the room, and the last what I say of him that day.
"Then shall we go to Nagato's place?" Kyon stood up. "Asahina-san, you still have to change, so you can stay behind, right?"
"Yes, feel free to go ahead."
Oh, shut up, or I'll turn into a lesbian.
Yuki simply nodded, closed her book, put it into her bag and went ahead. Kyon and I followed her.
"So Kori, how was your first day in another world?"
We were now on our way to Yuki's house. It was very clear that it was almost summer.
"I found some friends who actually believe my story, because they themselves experienced a pain in the ass phenomenon too." I deadpanned
"I wouldn't say Haruhi is a pain in the ass. I would be long gone if that really was the case."
"Say, Haruhi-san just forced to join the club. Why didn't you just walk away?"
"I don't know. Maybe she was exactly what I needed in my live. Do you want to know how long I believed in Santa Clause?"
No.
"You're missing out on a nice monologue."
I can monologue alone just fine.
"Is that the reason why you always silently mutter to yourself?"
That's genetic. What's the reason YOU always silently mutter to yourself?, I asked him, obviously knowing the answer.
He didn't speak a word until we arrived.
"Goodbye, then." I said, as he walked away.
"Bye" were the words of Kyon said, and that was the last I have seen of him that day.
As Kyon left, I looked at the building. Yuki's flat was in an apartment block I knew. She produced a key out of her uniform and opened it. We then went to the elevator. We were on the highest level when we exited. She went ahead, and opened the door to a flat I knew.
708.
We entered it together. The flat was more spartan that I expected. On one wall, a TV system was installed, in the middle was a kotetsu. There wasn't anything else.
"Here."
She pointed me to follow her. She opened on of two doors and behind it were two futons, lined up in the middle of the it. The rest of the room was empty.
"Take one."
I chose the one nearer to the door and began my preparations for going to sleep.
Fortunately, I didn't have to sleep in my school uniform, as Yuki borrowed me a spare pyjama. Now, fully dressed and ready I was lieing in my futon, while Yuki was standing next to me. When I was finished, she turned to leave.
"Wait." I stopped her.
She didn't make a move.
"I want to thank you." I suddenly said.
"For what?" came her weak response.
"For lying to them. You know who I am, right? That I am his…" I drifted off. She'd know what I mean.
She said nothing for a while.
"Yes."
How?
"DNA and data manipulation analysis."
Of course… but…
"We already met, didn't we? Back then…" I asked her, obviously knowing it was true.
"Yes. I remember."
"Did you know I would come back?"
"No."
"Were you surprised I came back to this time?"
"Yes."
Okay… So she didn't know anything.
"You said the IDSE is conflicted about me. Is that true, or was that another lie?"
"It is true. You're appearance sent the Entity into a state of conflict. The planned path was altered. The Innovative faction wants to use you as a hostage to revoke the threat he made on the 21st of December 2006. The Moderate faction wishes to ignore you and to increase contact with the Sky Canopy Domain. The main faction, that is my faction, the Thinking faction, wishes to include you into the list of persons that are to be observed. I do not know the plans of the Compromise faction, but neither it nor the Thinking or the Moderate faction wish to induce adversarial behaviour in him or other members of the SOS Brigade. The Innovative faction however wishes to eliminate the thread he and I pose."
"So that's how it is… Well, we'll think about how I can get back tomorrow, okay? Good night, Yuki-san."
However Yuki didn't immidiately leave.
"Can I ask you one question?"
I hesitated. Normally, people like Yuki or Hyou-chan would just bluntly ask the questions. It was the first time she had specifically asked such a thing,
Sure, I told her. What is so important?
Yuki turned around and asked me "Do you think he knows or suspects that you are his biological offspring?"
I hesitated again. But I knew the answer, or at least, I thought about it and came to an conclusion.
"Kyon? No. He has no clue. My Papa? Yes."
Yuki blinked once, then she turned off the light, turned around and closed the door.
Author's notes:
Apparently is apparently my new favourite word.
The chapter title comes from a quote saying "There are three types of lies - lies, damn lies, and statistics." commonly attributed to Benjamin Disraeli.
The "Reichflugsscheibe" is a the name of a project that was said to be done as one of the "Wunderwaffen" by the Nazis at the end of WW2. There most defining treat was that they were essentially flying saucers. However, it is commonly accepted that such a project is purely fictional.
Fewa is a German detergent brand that had the slogan "Is this new? No, washed with Fewa for wool" though I have no clue how Kori knows of that brand. They must have expanded to Japan in the future.
The name 'Kyousuke Tadamichi' was created by Brian Randall. I use it without permission, since he is, well, dead.
Finally a chapter that doesn't end with an immediate cliffhanger. I think during the time I was supposed to write this I spent way too much time on Nico Nico Douga watching HaruhixRailgun and HaruhixDurarara and HaruhixHigurashi and HigurashixDurarara and a whole load of other MADs. Sorry about that. The draft for Chapter 4 is currently at 0 words, even when the general events are already thought out. Rejoice, it will only take too long, as in the last chapter I spent one week sitting on a draft that lacked the Taniguchi introduction scene. This time I almost skipped the Yuki, Kyon and Kori go home scene.
PS: You must assume that I am sometimes "literally translating" from Japanese so "that person" for ano hito and "That time" for ano toki will be used to refer to vague things that shouldn't be fully disclosed just yet.
