Welcome back, to the ones who have returned. Thank you for noticing, for deciding.
The world is complicated, and I can't play out what I believe characters are in shapes forming letters forming words. They're more. But I'll try.
I want to be accurate to the characters.
I want to keep the story going.
Maybe I can be part of the motion, making the last frame not really their end?
That's what I want.
0o0o0o
Submissive. A word that, under any other circumstances, never would have applied to Light Yagami; proud, unbowed Light Yagami, now looking up through half-lidded eyes at L. Right now, submissive was the only word that applied.
Gentle. He has to be gentle with the creature, now that he's caught it. He has to use a touch as light as butterfly wings. Or it will withdraw from him, hide in the far corner of the cage he's made; never come back. And he will have to watch the creature slip away from him, so close and yet so untouchably far.
Of course, he could simply force the creature out, to play and dance for him. But he can't do that. He won't.
L can see the uncertainty in Light's eyes, hidden under bravado and arrogance. It's faint, but unmistakable, like those pictures hiding an optical illusion. After you become aware of it, it's all you see.
L was gentle at first, barely pulling halfway out before slowly thrusting back in. He continued the agonizingly slow pace until Light was rocking back, desperate.
'Faster…' the brunette muttered, opening his eyes. Light looked perfect, on his back, hair floating in a halo on the pillow, chest and neck marked with bites.
L hesitated, but the thought was far too appealing. He'd already made up his mind. With a grunt, L readjusted Light's ankles on his shoulders and slammed back in harder. Light writhed, tightening, breath shortening, trying to hold his voice in.
'You...fucking...asked for this,' L panted, keeping up the brutal pace, barely allowing them time to breathe.
Light's breath was stuttering. The twisting knot of heat was starting to fold in on itself.
'L, I'm going to cum,' he groaned.
'Not yet,' L corrected, right before two fingers circled the base of his cock. Light whined, cut off from release, to the point where it was becoming seriously painful.
'This was the lesson I was talking about,' the detective whispered. 'You can only cum when I tell you to, no sooner.'
If it was hard before, it was absolutely painful now, with L taking his time on every torturously slow roll of his hips. The detective seemed to enjoy accelerating to a near-breaking point before dropping to a slower tempo, pushing every boundary of Light's endurance.
Can you keep up?
Can you?
'Yes…' Light hissed between gritted teeth.
The agony of the 'lesson' stretched on what seemed like forever. Light came close half a dozen times, but L almost appeared to predict those moments and every time refused to give Light the final push off the edge.
Being suspended forever was worse than falling into the inescapable pit. At least the pit promised death, while this animated nonexistence was torture in it's highest form. The kind that made you drive yourself insane in a way nobody else could.
The time stretched on. Light had practically collapsed. Even L's pace was flagging as he readjusted his position over Light's moaning form.
'Please.' The word was barely a whisper, almost drowned out by the heavy breathing. 'Please, L.'
L paused, watching. Light opened his eyes. They were infinitely deep, stretching back thousands of years to where this act must have been born, out of this same deep-seated urge.
This need to fulfill the urge was animalistic. It was, in some ways, only right to indulge. But in this way, using each other, stretching it out this long, this far? That wasn't right for either of them.
L released the younger, who groaned in relief. L sat back and watched for a second, during which he caught the words that slipped from Light's lips.
'L...I want you...'
I want you.
Light's pleasure-laced words had to have been some by-product of this sinful, hasty act. That was the only logical conclusion. They couldn't be anything more. They couldn't, or everything L had thought about Light was a lie. They had to have been a lie.
If they weren't a lie, a delusional outburst triggered by the teenager's hormones, then the detective would have to rearrange his world into something new, something that involved him admitting that Light might just be more than an interest; might be an obsession. A ridiculous, crazy obsession, but an extremely strong one; one that matched the Kira Case: insanity hidden under a polite gaze.
'Light-kun…' L closed his eyes. He could imagine that new world, in the dead of night, alone. Just this one time.
'Please..' Light whispered, into the humming air. L's concentration broke.
'Light-kun, I want you too.' He bent down and kissed Light, not with angry desperation, but with an almost lingering sadness.
One time. Just for tonight. We'll both forget it in the morning.
Light could never be his, but just for tonight, he could pretend.
0o0o0o
It had been a slow process for Light to actually realize what side he swung towards. And when the realization came, it wasn't soft. It was a crashing, tsunami-like, wait, so this is why I did that panic that curled inside him and exploded before his eyes.
It had started with that kid; the one who had been moving away, and had been more of an acquaintance than anything else. Of course, Light wasn't the kind to really call anyone his friend-except maybe that little part that said L-but this one was better than most.
It didn't hurt that he was good-looking, either.
Light had passed it off as a high-interest friendship. How Light's eyes lingered around his sharp jawline, his deep-set hazel eyes? How he had pondered over how his dark, chocolate-coloured hair might feel? How he remembered all their conversations so vividly? All normal, all just friend stuff.
Light remembered that night, in his house, when he had called-Light running over faster than might be considered normal-and opening the door to find the object of his interest grab him by the shirt collar and press their mouths together.
Light remembered the look in those hazel eyes right before the kiss ended. And his words.
'I-I wanted a memory.'
It was a memory, all right. One Light would turn over and over and over in his thoughts, polishing it like a river stone, before realizing that he had enjoyed it, and wanted more.
That had been a year ago.
Light didn't remember much about his dash back home or what he did, but it ended up with the final realization that yes, that was probably why he never had a real interest in the interchangeable girls who called themselves his 'girlfriends'.
He hadn't told his parents. Especially his dad. He had kept the secret to himself, sometimes taking it out and pressing it in his hands; a warm, beautiful comfort.
At least he knew why he had such an...an obsession over L. Whether it would be fulfilled or not was a different matter, but one he still knew. Light knew he liked guys. He also knew L was a hopeless chance, even after this. Especially after this.
Second-guessing and doubts were useless distractions; fun ones, yes, but fragile things that never held up to the test of life.
Light's fascination of L was like that, wasn't it? It wouldn't last. It would just get in the way. He had a plan; he was destined for something more. L was a petty irritation who was too damn attractive for his own good. He didn't really mean anything to Light.
0o0o0o
'Come for me,' the detective commanded, and the throaty demand pushed Light off the edge. He came over his chest and stomach with a moan that could wake the dead. L took his time, thrusting slowly a last few times into that delectably tight silken warmth before finishing, his fingers locking around Light's forearms.
For a long moment, everything was silent save the peaceful breathing. L opened his eyes and took his first serious look at Light. What he saw was not the arrogant, brilliant high-schooler, or the childish yet intriguing suspect. He saw Light, just Light, arms flung to his sides, chest heaving, eyelids fluttering closed.
Right now, Light was displayed fully for L to see, and he was breathtakingly beautiful. He looked like an angel, fallen, desecrated by human hands. L's hands.
It would be worth everything that followed just for this sight, this feeling of knowing he'd lured this angel down from it's heavenly perch and taken it.
0o0o0o
Light, pure and untouched by the rotting mess of the world. No boons a shinigami could give him would be able to touch that. There was still some part of the young man called Light, locked away, that was still the unadulterated form humans longed to attain.
This act was, to some, filthy and sinful, but it was the best kind of sin. The kind that satisfied in a way nothing else could. That kind of gratification only came from breaking things that nobody else would dare to so much as touch.
I've broken you, angel, Light, L thought. I tempted you down from heaven to dance for me.
And you did so well. I'll never be able to take another without remembering you.
What have you done?
0o0o0o
Thank you. I know I sound like 3 AM, so the simple fact that you are here and reading these words means a lot.
How many times has someone else had the same thoughts as you?
:: Intervals between music when the pauses echo more than the notes
-LyingMonsters, the one who tries to keep the story from ending forever
