Ghostbusters: Without
Chapter 3
June 2020
Jessica stood in the hallway and watched the front door close. Peter and Dana had shot off to some friends' dinner party they didn't really want to go to, and just left her there. They sometimes seemed to forget she didn't live there anymore.
She felt an arm slipping around her waist.
"That could have gone a lot worse," said Hayden.
"Mmm." She turned her head, and smiled at him. "I think they're quite pleased, really."
"Dana's delighted. I'm glad about that - I don't want her to think I'd run off back to England and leave you with a small baby, or anything like that."
"Yeah, sure, whatever," said Jessica. "Come to bed."
Hayden cocked an eyebrow. "What, you want to do it here?"
"Why the hell not? You said you'd start screwing me again after I proved that I really did love you by telling everyone - which, by the way, I could have gotten very annoyed about - and now we've told everyone." She grabbed his wrist. "So let's go."
"But we haven't," said Hayden.
"Haven't what?"
"Told everyone."
Jessica, scowling, dropped his wrist and said, "Yes we have. We told my mom and dad, and then you called your parents and you had that hysterical laughing fit because Lars had just that minute told them he was gay - "
Hayden smirked at the hilarity of the memory. He certainly knew how to pick his moments, his mother had said.
"…and your mom presumably told Lars because he was there, and then you called your sister and told her. Job done."
"That isn't everyone," said Hayden.
"Well," said Jessica, dropping her gaze, "it's close enough. And it proves I don't just want you for your body, doesn't it?"
"Is that really the point, Jessica?"
"Sure it is. And besides," she said seductively, draping her arms around his neck, "you're not really going to say no to me again, are you?"
The setup couldn't have been more perfect. They were locked in what could only be described as a passionate embrace, in the middle of the hallway, directly in line with the front door, when Oscar walked in. Oscar, whom Hayden and Jessica both knew to be around, and staying with his parents as he always did on these fleeting visits.
Jessica pulled out of the kiss, stared at her brother for all of half a second, and then collapsed her head against Hayden's chest, muttering, "Oh man, that was really stupid."
"Jess," hissed Hayden, sounding faintly amused, watching the unmoving expression of sheer incomprehension on Oscar's face. "What do we do now?"
"Um…" Jessica looked up, chewing her bottom lip, and quickly came to a decision. "I think you'd better go."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"All right then." He rather wanted to kiss her goodbye, but thought better of it. "I'll be… at home, I suppose. Bye."
"Yeah, see ya."
He walked the length of the hallway and stopped in front of Oscar, who was blocking his path to the front door.
"Excuse me," said Hayden.
Oscar moved robotically aside, still staring directly ahead of him.
"Thank you," Hayden said, with a polite little smile, and left.
There was an uncomfortably long silence.
"So," Jessica smiled sheepishly. "Guess what."
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
"You don't hate Hayden all that much, do you?" the demon went on conversationally. "He's ok, isn't he? Compared to the others, I mean."
"Huh," Jessica said dully. "I thought he was."
The demon looked up with an expression of interest. "Until…?"
"Don't you know?"
"I do actually. You mean when he kissed you at that party."
"He waited until I was on my own and then followed me into a deserted room," Jessica said heatedly. "And then he kissed me, knowing perfectly well that I didn't want him to - the guy's a complete creep."
"Well," said the demon, "there at least is something of a real reason for your animosity towards him. It isn't very fair of you hate to him simply because he happens to be the son of the man who abandoned your brother. I wish you'dtry to see that if it wasn't for Os- "
"Oh, look," Jessica said curtly, getting to her feet. "I'm not going to sit here arguing with you - I really don't feel up to it. Sounds like Mom and Dad have stopped fighting."
"Or at least lowered their voices."
"Then it's safe to go downstairs."
She turned on her heel and tried to march out of the room, but she found that marching gave her a headache and so had to make do with a slow, unsteady walk. It seemed like an arduous trek to the bottom of the stairs, and when she finally made it she found that Dana had busied herself in the kitchen and Peter was entertaining Egon in the living room. She didn't have the energy to try and take in what was being said, but she could tell from the strained atmosphere that the argument had yet to be resolved.
"Egon, can I borrow you?" asked Jessica, standing in the living room doorway and clutching the doorframe for support.
"I should think so, Jessica," Egon said pleasantly. "What for?"
"I want to talk to you about something that… that might be a symptom of my illness." She paused, then added, "Upstairs."
"Oh, all right then," said Egon, following Jessica out of the room and leaving Peter to wonder what this mysterious symptom could possibly be.
"You look very unsteady," remarked Egon, as he ascended the stairs behind Jessica. "You should lie down."
"Yeah, yeah, I will," Jessica said dismissively. "But I want to show you something first. I… I think there's a demon up here."
Egon didn't seem at all surprised. He simply asked, "What kind of demon?"
"I don't know." She reached the top of the stairs, and stopped for a little rest. "It's about two feet tall and orange."
"Interesting."
"I thought maybe…"
"Yes?" prompted Egon.
"Well." Jessica fidgeted uncomfortably. "I thought maybe I imagined it. I've seen it three times now, and it was always after I'd been chucking up."
"Well, we shall see," said Egon. "Has it spoken to you?"
"Oh yes, it's very talkative."
"What does it say?"
"Honestly," said Jessica, "I can't really remember. I think it talks about my family."
"That's odd," remarked Egon. "Was it trying to persuade you to murder them, or anything like that?"
Jessica blinked. "I… I don't think so."
"Well," said Egon, brandishing his PKE meter, "let's take a look. Where was it?"
"Oscar's room," said Jessica, and led the way. "It was looking at pictures."
"Pictures?"
"Photographs of various people. People he's close to." They entered the room, and Jessica scowled when she noticed that the demon had gone. "And Andre."
"Do you mean the pictures in the frames?"
"No," said Jessica, staring blankly at the now empty and neatly made bed. "Do you see any pictures of Andre in those frames?"
"No."
"The pictures the demon was looking at have gone. So I guess this means I'm crazy."
"Well…"
Jessica turned and saw that Egon was studying his PKE meter. His expression betrayed nothing, but his silence told her what she needed to know.
"Oh, great," she said, "I am crazy."
"Oh, I doubt it," Egon smiled kindly. "I just think you need to sit down. Or even better, lie down. Come on," and he led her over to Oscar's bed, steadying her with both his hands on her shoulders. "I'm sure he won't mind you using it."
"My own bed's just in the next room, you know," said Jessica.
"I think you need to lie down immediately. You look like you're about to faint."
"I am feeling better, you know."
"Good," said Egon, pushing her gently onto the bed. "Let us hope you continue to improve. I think the best thing for you to do now would be to get some sleep."
"Ok," said Jessica, who thought that sleep sounded very inviting. "Would you mind bringing me my bucket? It's in my room, next to my bed."
"Of course," said Egon, and went to retrieve the desired item.
Jessica rolled over onto her side, and noticed a small corner of something sticking out from underneath the pillow. She guessed that it was a photograph, and upon pulling it out she found that she was correct.
"Let's hope you don't need it," said Egon, as he came in with her puke bucket.
Jessica smiled weakly. "Thanks."
When Egon had left the room, Jessica ventured to look at the photograph in her hand. It was a fairly recent photograph - not more than two years old - of herself and Hayden Wallance, and at first glance they appeared to have their arms around each other. Feeling nothing but surprise, Jessica blinked a few times, and then saw that they weren't touching in the picture at all; they just appeared to have merged together somewhat because the two sides of the photograph had been folded over the centre, something like a concertina.
"Stupid little asshole demon," muttered Jessica, knowing immediately what she would find when she pulled the picture back into its original shape. Sure enough, there was Oscar, wedged smilingly in between her and Hayden.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
June 2020
"Oscar, come on, you know I never wanted to fall in love with anyone, never mind him, and I tried, I really tried, but I couldn't help it! I mean, you know what he's like - he's smart and fun and easy-going and sweet and kind and honest and genuine, and he's always smiling, and he's got the biggest - "
"Oh, stop!"
She gave him a withering look. "Heart."
"Oh."
"But," she went on, "since you mention it, the sex is good too."
Oscar flinched. "That's more than I wanted to know."
"Oh, this isn't fair!" Jessica wailed suddenly. "You never like any of my boyfriends, and then when I finally get a good one you like him even less!"
"I like Hayden."
"But you don't like me fucking him, though, do you?"
Oscar was shaking his head, still looking rather as though it was a pair of aliens he had walked in on. "I don't get it," he said. "I thought you hated him."
"I did," Jessica said simply. "But that was a long time ago."
He still looked puzzled. She knew her brother wasn't a fan of irony - it always baffled him. He was the one who wanted love and happily ever after and shit like that, which was why he'd never had anything as cheap and meaningless as a fuck buddy. Now he was still single and she, who wanted nothing more than a lot of laughs and the occasional orgasm, had fallen in love with her fuck buddy. Not that Oscar knew that, of course.
"He's my brother," said Oscar. There, of course, was another irony altogether.
"He's not my brother," said Jessica.
"No." A pause, then, "How long has it been going on?"
"Oh… well… on and off… I guess about seven years."
Oscar blinked. "You have got to be kidding me."
"Yeah, well, he was in England for most of it. Altogether it's, like… about one."
"Are you the reason he emigrated?"
Jessica couldn't help smiling slightly. "I really don't know, Oscar. He's never said so."
"Are you really in love with him?"
"Yes."
"And is he really in love with you?"
"Yes!"
"Why?"
"Because," she said, "he's a very compassionate and forgiving person."
"Well," Oscar said vaguely, "I suppose he'd have to be."
"Yeah, well, you don't have to be a dick about it," Jessica said sulkily.
Oscar raised his eyebrows. "Am I being a dick?"
"Well… no, not really, but you obviously want to be."
"I'm sorry, Jess, but it's just a bit of a shock when you walk in on your brother and your sister…" He apparently couldn't finish.
Jessica's scowl deepened. "Yeah, it must be - but you're just going to have to get over it, because I've made a decision which, quite frankly, is none of your goddamn business and I'd rather not have you hovering around and disapproving, thank you very much."
Determined to have the last word, she barged past him and slammed the front door on her way out. She felt about thirteen again.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Hayden had taken a taxi to his apartment block, and climbed exactly three stairs when Jessica caught up to him.
"Hey," she said sharply, to get his attention, when she reached the bottom of the staircase.
"That was quick," remarked Hayden.
"Yeah, I wish I'd known - you could have hung around for five minutes and then we could have shared a cab."
"Are you all right?" he asked, as they started to ascend the stairs together.
"Shouldn't I be?"
"You look upset."
"Do I?" said Jessica. "Well, he doesn't like it. I knew he wouldn't. I can't believe I started seducing you right in the middle of my parents' hallway - that was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my entire life."
"Was it really?" asked Hayden.
"Oh yes. Making out with that vampire who lived in the school basement is now the second stupidest thing I've ever done."
"I never heard about that."
They were at the apartment now. Hayden unlocked the door, and they went inside. It felt more like home to Jessica now than anywhere else; a one-bedroom apartment whose rent Hayden could afford was entirely preferable to letting Rich and Guy listen to their lovemaking almost every night. Not that Jessica thought of it as making love back then. She'd even carried on seeing other people occasionally until one night, whilst trying to explain to a particularly dense one that the clitoris was about an inch away from where he thought it was, she realised there was only one man in the world who knew how to satisfy her without any degree of instruction. Looking back now, she thought she probably should have suspected then that there might be a bit more to it than just sex.
"Yeah, well," said Jessica, in response to his remark. "I'm good at keeping secrets."
"Mmm, I'd noticed," Hayden said wryly. "Well, for what it's worth, I'm not sorry he found out. We couldn't have kept it from him forever."
She collapsed onto the sofa. "Maybe it won't last forever."
Hayden looked at her sharply. "I thought you said you loved me."
"I do. Don't look so worried - I'm just saying, it's impossible to tell."
"Jess, I'm yours for as long as you want me," said Hayden. "And I don't care what Oscar thinks. I loved you for such a long time, and it's because of him that I had to wait years just for you not to hate me."
"You can't blame him for the way I felt about you."
"I can. Of course it wasn't intentional. He always wanted you to get on with us - I know that - but the only reason you felt the way you did about us was because of him."
"Can't you use his name?" Jessica asked irritably.
Hayden's expression softened. "I'm sorry." He sat down next to her, and took her hand. "You really care what he thinks, don't you?"
"So it would seem." She furrowed her brow, looking completely baffled. "I never cared what Oscar thought about any of my other boyfriends - why is it so different with you?"
"I don't know," said Hayden. "Maybe because it's serious this time."
"I don't think he believes you really love me."
"What? What does he think I'm doing with you, then?"
Jessica shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he thinks it's your revenge."
"For what?"
"For the way I used to treat you."
"I wouldn't do that," Hayden said vehemently.
"I know," said Jessica. "I'm sure he doesn't think that at all."
"Surely he knows I'll treat you right."
"He does, and anyway I reminded him. It's only because of who we are. That hardly seems fair, does it?"
"No," Hayden said tightly. He paused, then added, "I'm sure he'll come round."
"I wish I had the courage to tell him exactly how it's been, but I'd die if he knew the way I've been treating you," Jessica muttered.
"I told you to forget that," Hayden said gently.
It was being treated like a sex toy that finally made him end their relationship in search of something more, only to be told hours later that she was in love with him. Jessica was faintly amazed when he took her back just like that - anyone who treated her that way wouldn't see her for dust. She'd felt bad about it, though a little hurt when he seemed to get hold of the idea that she might change her mind as soon as her orgasm had subsided.
"Why are you always so nice to me?" she asked.
"Because I love you."
"And what about before that? When we were kids."
Hayden shrugged. "I'm a nice guy."
"You're too good," said Jessica. "Babe, will you let me make love to you now? Apart from that little hiccup at Mom and Dad's place, we've hardly touched since I said it."
Hayden smiled, kissed her and said, "Say it again."
Feeling suddenly much better, she returned the smile and said, "I love you."
"I love you too." He kissed her again. "You know what I really fancy?"
"Me?"
"Yes. And a shower."
"Ooh, nice," said Jessica, rising to her feet. "What is it with you and showers, anyway?"
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