Not mine…I'm really getting tired of saying this. Don't read this if you don't feel like crying…or possibly dying. OMG THAT RHYMES!!!
Listen to "Peer Pressure" by Jon Brion when you read this if you have some kind of downloading system. It's perfect for this chapter.
Chapter 3: Tragedy
"Alice?" I said. I was scared beyond belief. She could see it in my eyes.
"I'm thirsty," she said.
"Um…" I didn't know how to respond. Go get a deer? Mention Edward maybe?
I looked around behind her…no one was there. But I swear I saw someone.
"What happened to…?"
"He's gone."
"Who?" I asked…all of a sudden I realized that she knew where Edward was.
Edward…
"Where is-" I began.
Alice interrupted. "I have to talk to you." She pulled me outside of the door and I felt of wave of horror when she closed the door. Alice did say she was thirsty—very thirsty. I prayed that she wouldn't eat me. After all, I was about to see Edward and I didn't want to die before I saw his beautifully perfect face.
Alice looked as if she was going to cry. I was about to touch her shoulder to comfort her, when she began to speak. "Edward is…"
Why would she be crying about Edward…oh no. The hole was burning.
"Dead."
I fell to the ground and Alice didn't stop me. I could hear her quiet sobs. How did she know that?
"I searched everywhere for him before the Volturi got to him…I'm so sorry Bella."
My eyes ached and my head throbbed. Edward… My stomach felt like it was dissolving inside one of my lungs. I couldn't breathe.
"I finally went to the Volturi and begged them for Edward…they told me—" I covered my ears-I'd heard enough. Alice uncovered them for me, gave me a quick hug and ran off into the forest…probably to hunt. I lied on the hard cement for hours, crying; calling out his name, hoping he could hear me…but he never came back.
"Merry Christmas," Rosalie said, handing me a pink wrapped present.
"The same to you," I responded handing her a poorly wrapped purple box with a navy blue bow on it.
Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and I decided to go to college together. We were currently going to Matanuska-Susitna University of Alaska (me, as a freshmen and Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper as sophomores). It was cold and cloudy all the time. In fact, I haven't ever seen a sunny day since…Edward's death.
The tiny campus of Mata-Su was perfect for us. Carlisle and Esme moved up with us. We asked Charlie if he wanted to come with us, but he loved it in Seattle. He was repositioned there a few weeks after I moved up here. He's still Chief Swan, but now Chief Swan of Seattle.
I'm always worried about Charlie because he gets a lot more action in Seattle. He isn't worried about me at all. But hey, I've got five super strong, fast running vampires protecting me.
Alice suddenly disappeared from the Cullen's coven. She bought some island all for herself. Occasionally, she comes to visit us, but when she does…it's like she isn't even alive. I feel dead all the time, but I force myself to look happy. The only one who could tell when I was really depressed was Jasper.
Alice and Jasper (although married) were separated now. Alice couldn't make him happy…and Jasper couldn't make her happy, so they decided to end it. Everyone was very shocked…especially me.
Jasper and I were rather close now. He was the youngest of the family and I was the most emotional, so he took care of me on the days that I was so down I couldn't get out of bed.
So here I was, on Christmas day at the Cullen's house…rather Carlisle and Esme's house, opening presents.
Rosalie gave me an expensive pair of earrings and a matching necklace and shoes.
Emmett gave me a purple jolly rancher pillow…purple jolly ranchers are my favorite. (A/N: Hey wadda ya know? Me too!)
Jasper gave me feather boa and a pair of silver, sparkled sunglasses. He told me it was for dressing up for the upcoming play—The Rocky Horror Picture Show. (A/N: I'm really not sure if its picture show or just show…)
I laughed when I opened it and he seemed pleased. He always liked it when I was cheery or happy.
Alice had sent me an outfit as usual. She sent Rosalie and Esme one too. Of course all of our outfits were perfect on us.
We modeled them for Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle. All of them seemed dazzled. We sat in our new outfits and listened to Christmas tunes on a CD that I have no idea where it came from. After a while, Carlisle and Esme left the room to do other things.
Emmett and Rosalie went away to go give their gifts to each other in secret back at the dorms…bleh.
Jasper and I sat in the living room of the Cullen's house, listening to the CD playing.
I heard a beautiful song being played on the piano. I listened carefully to the tune…it sounded familiar.
But this wasn't a Christmas song…
I felt tears coming.
"Don't cry," Jasper said.
"My lullaby," I whispered. My bottom lip quivered and tiny tears began to fall. Jasper wiped them away with his thumb.
"He loved you," Jasper said. It made me want to cry more, but instead I smiled. Edward did love me, and the only thing he would want right now is for me to be safe…and happy.
Edward, I spoke to him in my thoughts. I need you.
Jasper put his right hand on the side of my left arm and I felt better.
"Thanks," I said, but he didn't move his hand away from my arm. I felt a little odd…like something wasn't quite right. "Um…Jasper?" I began.
"Hm…?" he responded, but didn't take his hand away yet. I gestured down to my arm and he moved it.
"Do you think he could still be alive?" I said.
"Well…the Volturi…"
"They could be lying." This was the only hope I have left in my body; it was the only thing I wanted.
Jasper sighed. He thought Edward was dead…they all did. Jasper knew better than the rest of us (besides Alice), because he had seen Alice's pain. I never worked up the courage to ask her why the Volturi killed him anyway…he was just…gone.
Jasper sensed the curiosity. "Why so curious?" he said.
"Why did they…" I couldn't say the rest.
He was silent and staring at the wall. "Alice did try to tell you…that day that we found out, but you had covered your ears. And you shouldn't know. Edward wouldn't want you to know."
If Edward didn't want me to know then that was enough. I got up from the couch and sighed. "I think we should go for a drive or something, I can't just sit here. I need a distraction."
Jasper smiled and stood up too. We both headed out towards his car.
"Where to?"
"Dorms," I said.
"Rosalie and Emmett?"
Forgot about that. "I think I'm going to get my car and just take a drive by myself."
Jasper pulled over to the side of the road. "I'll run back, you can use my car. Got your phone?"
"Yup," I said and thanked him for letting me use his car. He's the only one who understands that I need time alone to think.
He hopped out of the car and said drive safe and I moved into the drivers seat. I flipped off the radio, waved goodbye to him and watched him run off.
I sighed and began to drive to nowhere in particular.
I wasn't the person who usually went out to think. Thinking caused me pain most of the time…but I was different somehow. I was a new person. A new Bella…but I didn't feel new. I felt old and torn, withered. I was most unhappy.
I could feel my depression pulling at my heart—the hollow spot that I've felt for what seems like an eternity.
Thinking of him was my only happiness. He was perfect. He was happy.
Jasper.
I looked at my face in the rear-view mirror. Jasper? Did I seriously just think of Jasper? But I meant Edward…am I in love with Jasper? No…He's just a friend.
The rain pelted harder on the windshield and it was becoming hard to see.
I should turn back, I thought.
I pulled over to the side of the road and attempted to do a U-turn. It was easy…maybe I should get a nice car like this…I'm sure the Cullen's would pay for it. But I shouldn't use their money…no I would keep my truck.
Jasper.
I still can't believe I thought his name. I wasn't in love with him…but was he in love with me?
His hand on my arm…he didn't want to move it. His eyes when I told him I wanted to go for a drive. He didn't want to leave me.
He was just being protective, that's all.
Edward was once protective…because he was in love with me.
Suddenly, I couldn't remember what I was doing. I was being foolish and I was driving on the wrong side of the road. When I realized it, I began to move into the lane over…
But it was too late.
A/N: FIVE WHOLE PAGES BABY!!! This is my favorite chapter. I know it's sad but don't worry I'll make it all better. :Band-Aid: Does anyone need a band-aid? Well I am a nurse so don't fret! (yeah I WISH I was a nurse.) Leave reviews and I'll have the next chapters up soon.
