A/N: Mild Violence in flash back. Warning given. Please read before continuing on. Also mentions of past character death.
Chapter 2-
It had been too long since the last time he had opened up to someone. To him, opening up never made him feel weak, it never made him feel vulnerable or broken. It was more of a thing he did from time to time to make himself feel less alone. Having someone there who would listen and actually seemed to care about his feeling was something he knew he could never get used to, but it was a feeling he could never live without. He had always dreamed of being with someone who made him always feel that way, so being with someone who made him feel that way for maybe a little more then an hour always gave him false hope. However, he could never see the fact that it was all just in his head for that hour. He never could admit that he only felt this happiness after someone let him open up and listened to him for such a short period of time.
Sitting and talking to the blue eyed stranger in front of him made him feel more happiness in that moment then he had through out his whole relationship with Ivan. Thinking back, it sent a shiver down his spine just thinking of how he was actually treated by the man. Ivan had made him feel small, used, and pitiful. There were times when all Matthew wanted to do was give up. The things Ivan told him made him feel like he would never be good enough, never reach the standards that the older man had set. This had happened until the end, He had left Matthew on the floor at his feet crying and whining like a kicked puppy, but he still loved Ivan. He loved him from that moment that he was able to open up to him, letting him express his darkest fears and giving him a shoulder to cry on.
"Matthew?"
The question was serious, it didn't hold any affection or love. Matthew could tell the difference now. Guess that happens after your hearts been ripped from your chest. Even though, Matthew still looked at the man next to him, giving him his full attention. "Sorry, I guessed I spaced out for a second." He gave the man a small smile before leaning back into the soft couch of his living room. After talking for some hours, they were finally kicked out by the bartender as the owner was shutting down for the night. Not knowing where else to go, Matthew took Ludwig back to his now half empty apartment. All traces of Ivan were gone, it made the space feel more comfortable. He was able to breathe in his own home again and it's where he felt the most confident.
Ludwig looked at him with a small puzzled expression for a few seconds before replying "You can tell me you know, what you were thinking about."
Matthew looked at the man with surprise before sighing softly to himself. He could hardly call the man a stranger now, and the buzz he had was starting to wear off from his time at the bar. It couldn't hurt, over the past few hours they have been skirting around why they were really out drinking, and now's a better time then ever to get it off there chest's.
Making himself more comfortable, Matthew took a deep breath before starting. "I-I had been with him for almost 5 years. By him I mean Ivan. Ivan..." He couldn't help but laugh softly as the name left his lips. This was the first time he has uttered the name since he was left in this very room by that very man. "Sorry. It just sounds so weird saying his name now. Anyway, I thought I loved him. But now I can see that it was all just in my head. Looking back at our relationship, there was nothing good about it. I was just used. He would come home from work before me so he wasn't exhausted anymore by the time I came home which means he had a lot more stamina then me in the moment. He would sometimes drag me to our room and pull the clothes off of me on our way there as soon as I shut the front door. He would always dominate over me, and sometimes I couldn't handle it. It made him furious that I was so weak..."
~Flash back (WARNING- Minor violence during sex includes strangling. Skip if need be -WARNING) Flash back~
His grunts were loud, his thrust were rough, and his grip was hard.
Matthew felt like all the air that had filled his lungs was being denied the chance to circulate. His windpipes were being closed off by the hand of the man that was pounding into him furiously. The sound of skin on skin echoed through the room along with the noises coming from the mans throat.
It was torture. If there was ever a time Matthew wish he could scream, it was now. He could no longer feel the pain coming from below his abdomen, he had long since been denied his own release and the pain of his ass being pounded into dry was something he never wanted to experience again. He felt like dying. The tears were rolling down his bright red face, but no sound could leave his mouth.
"Fuck, i'm almost there." The thrust become more wild and fast as the dick inside of him twitched for release. "Ah, Ma-Matvey." He thrusted as deep as he could, the grip on the boys throat tightening to almost a lethal amount of strength for the duration of the release. As soon as he pulled out, his grip on him was let go. Matthew coughed and gasped as air filled his lungs again, his vision was spotted with black and he could hardly move without pain coursing through his lithe body. "Get up," Ivan snarled down his partner, but when Matthew didn't make any move to cooperate he was yanked up by his hair, sending out a shriek of pain from his sore throat. "I said. Get. Up." He threw Matthew off the bed and onto the floor. Ivan looked down at his sore and fragile body. Ivan could see his own semen dripping out of the boys ass making a small puddle out the floor, he could see the red print from his hand around the boys neck, and how he shivered from the cold ground. It made him sick. "You're so weak Matvey. What am I going to do with you?" With a tisk, Ivan left Matthew on the ground to go wash himself off in the adjoining bathroom.
After about half an hour, he had walked back into the room clean and dressed for bed. He didn't show one interest to the boy that was on the ground shivering. He simply walked over him, possibly even stepping on a limb as he made his way to the bed and crawled in under the sheets. "Good night my pet."
Strong arms wrapped around his small frame, bringing him into an equally strong chest. The tears dripped off Matthews cheeks onto the soft material of Ludwig's shirt who had sighed softly from the familiar feeling of such a small body in his arms. "I miss holding him this way," Ludwig said under his breathe making Matthew look up to him with sad and confused eyes. "My sweet little Feli." He smiled down at the Canadian as if he was looking down at the cheery little Italian instead, before turning away again with a frown. "I think it's only fair that since you told me about Ivan, I tell you about Feli. He is.. He was my best friend, my love, my everything. He meant everything to me. We knew each other since our first year of high school, so that would make almost ten years. He would drag me around everywhere, ask me to do things for him, and help him with things even if I never wanted to do it, but I could never say no to him.
"It wasn't until our Senior year I realized how I felt, but Feli and his brother would be leaving to go back home to Italy for a year after we graduated. I remember him dragging me to the airport with them, helping carry the suitcases." Ludwig chuckled at the memory. "He always smiled so kindly, but that was the first day I ever saw that smile falter. He had cried it my arms while we were waiting for the plane. Feli made me promise him I would wait for him to return. And I had agreed. It had made him so happy to hear those words, he hugged me tight and practically was jumping in the air. Right as soon as there plane got there he kissed me abruptly on the lips and told me he couldn't wait to see me again so I could take him on a proper date.
"When he had came back, I had kept my promise. I had waited, and I took him on our first date to a new Italian restaurant that had opened up at the time. It was a great few years after that. We ended up moving into an apartment together during our last year of college. That was about two years ago. About three months ago my Feli had," his voice hitched. After coughing away the lump in his throat, he was able to start again slowly. "He had passed away. He was coming back from another trip to Italy to visit some relatives, but his plane never arrived at the airport. The plane had gone missing somewhere over the Atlantic along the coast of Spain. They are still finding some of the remains of the plane and the people that were on board."
"D-did they find his body," Matthew asked in a quiet and shaky voice. it was the first time he had dared to talk since the beginning of Ludwig's story, he couldn't help himself but to know if the man was ever found so his family and love ones could properly put his body to rest.
"They did. He was found one month ago along with other 100 others that were still trapped inside the body of the plane."
"I'm, i'm so sorry." He hugged the German tightly, burring his face into the larger mans neck making him shiver from the cold tears still on Matthews cheeks.
"I will be okay. I'm just grateful to have know such a wonderful person. He was always so happy and straight-forward. Nothing ever really brought him down. I always loved that about him." Matthew smiled at him before kissing him softly on the cheek. " What was that for?"
"I-it was nothing. You just, you're so brave. Please don't let what happened keep you from being happy." Matthew smiled at him before realizing he should take his own advise causing his lips to falter slightly.
"Thank you. However, it's getting pretty late, I should probably head home so I can get some rest." Unwrapping his arms from around the small Canadian he started to stand up from off the soft and comfy sofa before a hand had reached his arm, causing him to halt half way through his motion.
"Y-you can stay here tonight if you would like. I know how lonely it can be sleeping in a bed by yourself." Matthew looked down at the ground to hide his growing blush. He wasn't asking because he liked the man, but because he honestly didn't want to spend another night in a cold bed.
Ludwig looked at him with a small smile, "Thank you. I wouldn't mind spending one less night alone."
